Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Libra with players Pluto, Uranus and Jupiter – How it plays out

Full Moon Lunar Eclipse (Blood Moon) - April 4, 2015
Full Moon Lunar Eclipse (Blood Moon) – April 4, 2015

Today – It’s a super charged Full Moon (April 4, 2015) in Libra!  What can this mean? Here’s my version…

But is it only today that we may feel (Moon/emotion) the effects?  No; it’s more or less a theme that’s been occurring at least since the last eclipse (Solar a few weeks ago, March 20).

Something shifted around that time, perhaps ended—a change; a new way of BE-ing may have occurred for you.

And now, that’s associated with a new beginning.

Don’t’ get hung up on the exact dates; instead just think about something that may have occurred in the life 2 or 3 weeks ago (or even  a month or so ago) that set you up for the new phase that this eclipse is heralding—new beginning; new way of seeing things; new way of being in the world; new chapter in the life.  (We can experience the effects of an eclipse months before and months after–or so they say and so I’ve personally observed.)  But what are the key factors we can realize now?

Relationship is the key word with this energy and if you’re like me—happy to be in relationship with Self with a capital S (Higher Self) and with Divine Being you may, like me, be seeing life in a whole new light.  That should be a capital L really in the word Life—meaning All That Is and of course all that isn’t and the space in between.

Of course, we’d also have to mention personal one-on-one relationships with family, friends, life partners too which may be taking on a whole new meaning right about now and over the next few months.

This is no ordinary placement.  The Sun is conjunct Uranus and T-squaring Pluto.  What a mixture!   Moon, Uranus in Aries, the Libra Sun and tossed into that we also have the Capricorn Pluto – better not reference tossing Pluto, Lord of the Underworld, anywhere– it’s he who does the tossing.  LOL

Sun in Aries wants freedom and the ability to do it’s own thing regarding its purpose in life and the planet Uranus is empowering that Sun to go for it! As I see it, the planets and luminaries are setting up that theme when the Sun/Uranus opposes Moon and squares Pluto.

To me that configuration indicates  finding freedom in our life in a new way–one which challenges our feelings of security or actually enhances those feelings to create transformational (Pluto, the transformer) attitudes or views regarding how we relate to others and/or to Life Itself.  Pluto is quite psychological and so we could sense here a new psychology in your life–perhaps a highly personal one that creates a new beginning.

Can you see or feel how this can be playing out in your life now?  And how it has been occurring for some time now?

Jupiter plays a part in this attitudinal, emotional energy merger and change of view too. Jupiter, the great benefic, is highly focused via it’s retrograde motion.  It’s moving through Leo now.   And now its making an aspect to the other players, bringing with it a sense of playfulness and joy and mostly FUN.   That’s the energy that influences and balances this new attitude and way of be-ing that is taking shape and changing our lives right now.

May the blessings of Jupiter be yours and may you find the freedom and harmony in your life that brings the new freedom/ liberation of contented happiness with the influence of this eclipse both now and over the next 6 months!

Karma, Ground Consciousness, Habituation and Meditation – mindfulness can create happiness

Karmic imprints

Karmic imprints.  They accumulate and are latent in ground consciousness or base mind.

This area of psyche gathers up or collects  (through the many layers of it’s nature)   all the karmic latencies that are gathered over eons of lifetimes.

And the responses to those tendencies create more imprints and here in this reality, on the earth,  they are able to be stimulated.

I used to think that we were completely in control of moods via our thoughts–and while that is partially true, the karmic imprints that settle into consciousness awaken in us as experiences of suffering or experiences of happiness which sometimes are seemingly out of our control.  I’ve been thinking about  karmic latency and habitual tendencies.  Do we say something like, ‘Oh that’s just how I am an I can’t help that‘ or what?  Just how does it all work anyway?   These thoughts that follow are influenced by Buddhist views by the way and they make perfect sense (to me).

Positive or negative karma ,it is said, does not always  immediately express itself. These karmic latencies resting within ground consciousness can arise later, even in future lifetimes.

Sometimes I can correlate karmic events to the Nodes of the Moon (North Node, South Node)  in an astrology chart–imprints remain in ground consciousness to ripen under the appropriate circumstances.  And we can correlate that to aspects to the birth Nodes and the transiting Lunar Nodes.  Anyway…

Negative and positive qualities increase due to habitual patterns–if a person tends to be angry again and again then becomes habituated to anger, it creates an increase of anger-latency in the mind.   The same is true with positive qualities such as love and compassion.  These qualities (either positive or negative) creates the foundation for the mind–ground consciousness.   Even in remembering some experience of the past, the remembering of it strengthens the latency.

For these reasons, we should be ever-aware and mindful–otherwise our disturbing emotions gradually increase from day-to-day and lifetime-to-lifetime.

We can create mindfulness latencies in the ground conspicuousness (habitual pattern of mindfulness).

Through meditation we can create positive latencies of love, wisdom and compassion which does overcome negative imprints when meditation is increased to focus on that love, wisdom and compassion.

We are born with a particular proclivities or latent tendencies developed in previous lifetimes.  We see this within seconds, minutes, hours of a baby’s birth.  Not all babies have the same newborn tendencies—some are restless, some are peaceful, etc.  Some children are naturally very kind due to positive latencies developed and imprinted in previous lifetimes into their ground consciousness.  Other children are very aggressive due to their own latent tendencies.

Some people are unable to deny themselves their desires and cannot say no to themselves–others can deny themselves but have difficulty saying no to others. Yet, we can change through cultivation of mindfulness or being aware of our tendencies and developing positive virtues where needed.

It seems like another lifetime ago when I asked higher mind/spirit guides [_____ fill in your own preferred word (s) here] a question. (Divination)

I really wanted to know why we were here and what we’re doing here and what the whole bottom-line point to our lives here were about.

And I was told that we are here to develop virtue.  And now, many years later, I see how true that answer was; although at the time I wasn’t satisfied with it.

With the correct understanding and with mindfulness in life and developing good qualities through  meditation we will be able to develop new latencies, new habitual  patterns, new tendencies.

Is that easy?  Is being mindful and conscious of our latent habitual tendencies at all times easy?  It’s as easy as that — or as difficult.  It depends on us.

We can develop positive or negative tendencies throughout life!  They come and they go depending upon our own awareness and contribution to the habitual patterns.

Our experience of happiness is based upon ground consciousness no matter which realm we are in.  Creating karmic imprints in the present reality results in experiencing their results in the future.

Just like a child who goes to school and studies hard creates an imprint in the mind that allows the child to later on do something with the imprint like become a teacher or a doctor.  If there was no type of imprint to start with (no schooling, no education) there would be no possibility of becoming the teacher in the future.

Well, this is all I have time to write on the topic for the moment.  I hope some of these words will find their way to the right person at the right time out there in cyber world and in doing so be helpful to that other.  

 

How much power and control do we have to create our reality? What about karma? Life lessons? And what the “haves” say to the “have not’s”

How much power and control do we have to create our reality?  What about karma? Life lessons?

And what the “haves” say to the “have not’s”

scales_love or moneyLo!  I do struggle with that one just a bit more than some—from what I’ve observed it’s the “have not’s” who are more concerned with this question.  The “have’s” just go about having and don’t think about it much I suppose—well, maybe they do and that’s why they “have” in the first place.  OR having or not having is not their karma in this lifetime—maybe it’s something else their soul struggles with.  Hey, we’ve all got our own personal bug-a-boo I suppose.  I’ve worked with many clients who have plenty of money—an excess in fact—and you should see what their worries are!  To us “have-not’s” those things can appear pretty laughable and to us their so-called problem seems easily manageable, but I have to be careful not to minimize their dilemma any more than I like the “have’s” to minimize my “have not” issues.

I do notice though that those “have’s” who want to give me some type of “have not” advice almost always come from a place of having daddy’s inheritance, a hard-hard working and high-income producing life partner, or live on huge retirement benefits–those types of things… I’m just sayen’.  I try to be patient.  They mean well but usually don’t understand or even if they did once, they’ve forgotten.

It’s simple—make a plan, create your reality, affirm your will—right?  Yes.  And; No.  There’s the laws of karma and causality and energy that must play out no matter what you affirm or how much will you demonstrate.  Yeah, I hear ya’.  If that’s what you believe, you say, then that’s what you will experience.  I know all that but I’m talking about what some would call “Divine Timing” or what in Tarot Card language we’d call the “Wheel of Fortune” card or perhaps we could use the word “destiny”.  Astrology is my new ‘thang’ more-or-less lately (besides swimming) and more than anything else it explains things like… well, that classic book entitled, “Why do bad things happen to good people?”   Essentially, one can see the karmic patterns and the timing of the events and what the soul is learning which ‘splains quite a bit and helps one work with the soul’s plan rather than making one of one’s own and working against it.

Do we make a plan or go with the flow

Flow
Flow

Someone says,  “Well,  make a plan”,  and I laugh because …. Well, what’s that line, “… best laid plans of mice and men”… tell the Universe your plans and make the gods laugh.

I have faith and trust that The Divine Assistants know our mind and heart ‘help us to help ourselves’.  And believing that we do have that assistance working on our behalf, I am assured.

Yet I’ve also realized that we are here working through the energies that have already been set into motion so that the best plan we can make (if we make one) is to find the way to be at peace with “what is”–and that’s not easy task some days!  Our heart’s desire is the plan and if we trust that  while having faith that the path will be cleared and the way will be shown and known to us in exactly the right timing, this is the best we can do until the energy shifts to align with those intentions and the soul plan.

Like the old saying goes–make your intention and express your will and then let go, and let god.

That last step, surrender, is what us “have not’s” get pretty good at over time—something the “have’s” may no nothing about.

Or maybe they do.

Meanwhile, as a “have not”, I usually flow with whatever happens while holding the general outcome desired in the mind and heart,  following guidance daily as it comes–for me its the best way to fly.   If you ask if I am making a plan, that’s my answer–it’s worked thus far.

And this little piggy went all the way … to the Emergency Medical Care Center

And this little piggy went….. all the way (not home) to the Urgent Medical Care Center

thisLittlePiggy

I had a few head’s up which I apparently… well, the first one I mis-interpreted (darn dreams anyway!) and the second one? Ignored!  And the third one shrugged away.

I roared laughing at as I buddy wrapped it this morning.  What’s that little rhyme?  “Poor little piggy”, I thought.  All red and the left half of the foot all black and blue, “poor little piggy.” 

I had a dream around the time that the downstairs Indian neighbors got my full attention with their yelling and door slamming—between the 7th and 14th.  Rarely do I dream specific dates like that.  Maybe it was wishful thinking that I attributed the 14th as the date one of them was leaving –  I thought it was her.  I’ve been holding out hope that this would happen.  Instead, something else happened!  Dude, really?  It certainly did—at least in my apartment.  What happened in there’s—don’t know and don’t care.  All I know is that last night the Hindu chants to Ganesh played on low volume on the desktop computer in my room until 4 am and no bad dreams for the 2nd night in a row.

Anyway, I wrote something about it yesterday morning—I think on Facebook—something about well, it’s the 14th and nothing has changed downstairs.   I glanced at my transits in my astrology software program over the weekend and there is Saturn sitting right on top of the wounded healer Chiron—EXACT DEGREE AND MINUTE CONJUNCTION when my little accident happened. 

Yeah, I’m looking at it right now 10 degrees 29 minutes:  exact conjunction to the minute of Saturn with Chiron!  Yeah, don’t you know that Saturn rules THE BONES and Chiron is the wounded healer asteroid or comet-oid or whatever they call him these days.  Pretty clear indication of a possible bone wound, eh?  Both in Scoprio of course (WHY NOT GET PLUTO INVOLVED!?)

Well, if you’re going to have an accident with your bone crushed, best you have it in your own bedroom rather out on the highway somewhere.  As usual, it could always be worse—love that phrase, and it’s true—it always could!

I was waiting for my sister to come from work to go with me to the emergency room or somewhere for an X-ray to confirm what I already knew—broken.  Shattered or comminuted (spiral fracture) was not suspected by me, but don’t we love those additional details?  Ha ha.

I looked at my feet generally and remembered the message.  For days now I kept hearing in my mind—better do those toenails!

And dealt with that one this way… “Later, and besides, it’s not exactly sandal weather.  I’m always wearing socks. So, later.” 

I really had to laugh as I sat there clipping, filing and polishing my toenails in that state of shock and pain.  Why didn’t I listen to my Self telling myself to do a pedicure?!  Ah well, that’s how it goes, doesn’t it?  It all makes sense AFTER the fact, right?

FLASH:  I’ve now learned to walk backwards since it hurts much less that way and besides I can look down at my recently polished toes that I slapped polish over in a rush while in pain and laugh!

I’ve wanted to go home as anyone who reads my blog knows—you and my Facebook friends know that.  But laying on my bed yesterday afternoon as Saturn and Chiron were having their meeting in the sky and I was going into ‘shock and awe’ on my bed, I was glad then that I wasn’t alone up on the mountain.

Instead, my grandson was only 5 doors down, my granddaughter due to walk in the door within hours and the rest of the family would be home from work only a little bit later.  My whole family was here to help and that was a reassuring fact that very much outweighed my desire to return to the mountains at that moment!

THIS MORNING:  I had to cut the tape that the guy at the Emergency Center applied last night because the swelling overnight caused the tape to be too tight increasing the throbbing pain.  I soaked my foot in ice water first in my handy-dandy bucket and as I cut the old tape and went to apply the new,  I nearly grew faint thinking of how that little toe was just hanging way out to the side of my foot there after I banged it against the bed frame support.  As usual I was rushing—haste makes waste—and in changing the sheets on my bed, I wasted my pinky toe, crushing the bone in some place and breaking it clean off in another!

“Poor pinky”, I said as I apologized to it for what I did to it—on the predicted 14th of January, and without a pedicure, and with Saturn conjunct Chiron to the exact degree and minute!—“poor little toe!”  As I buddy-taped my little pinkies toe to the next toe over carefully and apologetically a short time ago, I thought… “What is it we’d say to the babies when they were little?  How does that little rhyme go?”

And then laughing out loud and remembering the strong growing desire to go home to the mountains since a loud Indian neighbor couple moved in below me, I remembered it:    “… and THIS little piggy went wee, wee, wee, wee, wee all the way home!” 

Like I’ve always said, the Universe has a sense of humor! that little piggy went (not home) but the the Emergency Center!

PS – at least it’s my left foot and I can still drive.  I have a huge boot I’m supposed to wear which seems like a bit of overkill but since my apartment is upstairs, probably not a bad idea to wear it sometimes.  I sure don’t want to bang it up any further, sore enough as it is and shattered into pieces.

SquaresMORE FOR ASTROLOGERS –– I don’t know if Saturn conjunct Chiron means a broken to the point of crushed bone for everybody else on the planet but it sure manifested that way for me!  In case you’re an astrologer and interested, transiting Saturn makes the conjunction to Chiron (which is also conjunct to Mercury natally) in the 3rd house—wanting to ‘go home’ would be a short journey of about 2 hours so in that way we could see the 3rd house relation to the Mercury, Gemini, Scorpio, Saturn, Chiron blend due to the disharmony of the neighbors (Libra on the cusp of the 3rd) and Venus in Libra is also in the 3rd

The transiting North Node (Scorpio) is currently upon my natal South Node in the 4th house and within 1 degree of an exact conjunction.  Now that I look at the transit chart, when this happened, the Moon was in Pisces when this happened making a conjunction with Transiting Chiron in Pisces. 

And now I have to go elevate my foot which is throbbing again despite the ice bucket dipping that I’m doing as I type.

The doc at the Emergency Care said I did a great job breaking my toe—you really smashed it and broke it off says he!  But then again, if you’re going to do something, I thought, may as well do a real big bang-up job of it.

I saw the Xray.  I did. 😦  Poor piggy…. and yeah, I think i got the message… OM darn it OM… i got the message.  Shouldn’t go live alone in the mountains!  I get it.  I guess.  Yeah, okay I GET IT!

A Change of Mind and Heart – Intuitive Interpretation Meaning of 11-11 in 2012

Photo of Snow Covered Porch of a Mountain HomeWell, here it is and so we’ve arrived at the famous, happy date of 11-11.  All the ducks are lining in a row flapping their wings about these numbers.  Does anyone REALLY know what this 11-11 means except for what other people have told them it means?  Dogma?!  I’m always on the lookout for it – and watch out, I’m going to get bare-bone’s honest – well, it seems like a good old human rumor as most consensus consciousness belief system’s probably are in the first place.  Now if we simply look at this day astrologically, then I can relate!  But then it seems like I look at ‘everything’ astrologically lately–like I’m wearing a pair of astrological glasses (if there was such a thing) and can’t take them off.  Maybe astrological contacts would be a better comparison.

I won’t go into the Mercury retro in Sag and Neptune direct (and of course in its own sign) and the total solar eclipse new moon next Tuesday and hold on, nearly there, nearly there—today on the famous, happy 11:11 the Moon has just crossed over (practically, like right now as I’m typing) ‘love me/love me not’ glorious Venus in her own sign, Libra (potent stuff).  If you know astrological language, then you realize what I just said.

If I gave all that 11:11 astro-babble a bottom line (and apparently now I do haven boxed myself into my own blog corner here) then that basic one-liner (or maybe two) would have to do with a new way of seeing things and processing our experience here.  Some folks call it a star gate or other new-age lingo for the fact that the heavens (as above, so below) are supporting a change of mind and heart.

I’ve been soooooooooooooooooooooooooo working with that whole process in my personal life.  Maybe if you follow my blog you know.  Yeah, and lately it’s as if my thoughts, words and deeds are not in alignment—they’ve been distinctly incongruent.   Like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz, parts of me are here and there and everywhere.  (Except when I’m doing a reading for someone or involved in their counseling session–I’m beyond the realms of my own life then.  What a relief!  ha ha)

Take the photo in this blog post—that snow-covered chair and footstool on the front porch there.  (Before you ask, I don’t know whose place that is.)  It’s beautiful and brings up those “Oooooh, I love that and it reminds me of once upon a happy time” feelings.  Yeah and that’s the Moon-Venus in Libra conjunction that just spoke.  But another part of the scarecrow straw (if you will) is somewhere else saying things like, “Are you kidding?  You KNOW how much colder everything is with snow layen’ on the ground like that!  Get real there girlfriend!”  So that’s an example of mental/emotional incongruence—as scarecrow consciousness tries to resolve itself.

But the whole “words” and “speech” thing—that’s a bit ‘here and there’ too.  Have you ever noticed how it wasn’t until you opened up to speak to someone that you realized your mood wasn’t a very flattering one?  I’ve done that so many times being that I’m a quiet person who lives alone and before you project how that could be a problem, it’s (for me) heaven.  I love my solitude.  Anyway, I sometimes start talking to a friend or a family member and realize that I’m feeling happier than I thought or perhaps a bit short-tempered or whatever.  It isn’t until we hear our very own words, our speech, that we get more deeply in touch with how we ‘really’ may be feeling!  That’s the only drawback in living alone but that’s why god made telephones!  And why people like me happily talk to themselves.

Then again this is why counseling is so helpful—many times people know intuitively that there’s incongruity between their actions, their words and their consciousness.  But it isn’t until trying to pull those all together while talking to someone else that one realizes this—except if one is totally out of touch with one’s self.  In that case the individual has no idea how distinctly contrasting parts of themselves really are!

On another note, lately I’ve been AGAIN turning in the wrong direction– how many times does it take before I “get” this one and stop trying to do this?  An astrologer would understand it if they saw my natal chart.
The bottom line is that certain people (and I’m one) simply cannot turn to another for solace or understanding or even mild sympathy for even a moment!  And this is not me going into a pity party—rather, I’m stating what ‘is’.  For some of us the door gets slammed in our face so that we can develop that relationship with the (for lack of a way of saying it that won’t offend) a Higher Power or Inner Divinity.

There are times that it feels like other humans even mock the  feeble attempts of people like me to turn elsewhere for solace and understanding.  Turning toward others seems to get us the big wagging finger of god in our face–figuratively speaking of course.  For some of us it’s clear and simple.  That kind of stuff is to be found within the self and that’s where we must go for understanding—no other human can possibly understand us, much less console us!  This past week I’ve received a few more reminders of this, mild but there nonetheless.

I can find myself reaching toward another lesson in those areas whenever I find that I’m trying to explain myself to another person—it simply doesn’t work.  I forgot.  I received a reminder.  Good old Mercury retrograde helps me out again! And its polarity partner, Jupiter who is also retrograde–they give wake up reminders to our belief and communication scarecrow parts.  Hey, it’s all good because when I get those reminders it brings me back into myself—and I pick up those scattered parts, get real again, and begin to feel more congruent.  It’s all good like I said.

I went for a walk yesterday and instead of looking at trees and creeks and mountain vistas, my view (since I’ve moved) encompassed cars and concrete and apartment buildings.  But I really do like being able to just lace up my sneakers, open the door and with no muss and no fuss and put one foot in front of the other without having to drive a few miles.  That’s what I had to do in the mountains—walk at a designate place by the creek.  It was quite scenic actually.  Otherwise, you walk at your own risk on mountain roads.  People have dogs running free on their land (as they should be) and they bolt toward any stranger walking by in their protective efforts.

So its all  ‘6 of one and half-dozen of another’ as the saying goes.  So now I try to look at the sky and clouds as I walk, ignoring the concrete and cars as much as possible.  There is a little pond/lake body of water on campus here with a large grassy area around it and a fountain of water shooting up in the center with park benches and picnic tables around.  If you can get over that fact that you are surrounded, albeit at a fairly good distance, by rows of apartment buildings and in view of a good number of human eyes, then this is a nice place to get away from the concrete and cars for a stint of time.

The common-link expanse between this Hogwart’s-like apartment complex in the foothills and my heart-home in the mountains is the sky.  I do think that where we live or reside (or the places that we’d like to) actually describe that which our own soul or the energy that is most compatible with it.

I have been thinking about the reversed Lunar Nodal Return I’m approaching (within orb now).  If you read my posts, I’ve mentioned it before.  The axis that is triggered is 4 -10 in Scorpio-Taurus respectfully. 

If you understand the natal lunar nodes, this whole post may make astrological sense.  Although there are ‘family versus career’ issues being intensified, how it is playing out for me in another area has to do with the inner world (4th house) and the outer world (10th house).  They say we are supposed to ‘balance’ our nodes and maybe that’s what I was doing a bit of when walking in the concrete car-park-human-jungle while gazing up at the sky; and remembering the same sky and clouds look down upon the mountains—common area, balance.

Yeah, I can see that I’m doing it again.  I’m blogging about this in an effort to be understood—AGAIN.  But, as always, it’s not the only motive.  I work through ‘my stuff’ –yeah, my stuff is an illusion but there it is anyway—here so that maybe another can see they are not alone in working through theirs.  Besides, something here may help another while, yes, I’m involved in this selfish attempt to gather up my Wizard of Oz scarecrow stuffing and unify.

“Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain”—I loved that part of the movie!

Thinking of it again right now, it reminds me of those folks we all know who are like the frantic frightened man cranking the wheel behind the curtain, afraid of being ‘found out’ or being seen by others as less than all-powerful with their face to the world huge and… well, suddenly I had the thought of that Christian preacher who was on all the talk shows (Larry King, CNN et al) lecturing the public viewers about the ‘abomination’ as it relates to ‘gay’ folks.  And then it turns out that this preacher has been gay from the get-go was totally exposed!

In sort of the same way, I turned to someone recently in a weak attempt to be understood and got the powerful image of the wizard of Oz—the man behind the curtain was well hidden and the words being to me in response were like “The All Knowing Powerful Oz has spoken!”   My bad for knocking on the door of the Emerald City and following the Yellow Brick Road in the first place!  There was that same lesson again!  (Yeah, but all I want is a bit of understanding and the universe replies, ‘you may give it all you like but do not look for it outside of yourself and most importantly not from another human.)  I don’t think everyone is working with this lesson but some of us are.  And if you’re one, you can totally relate to what I’m saying here.

After all, there’s no place like home and like Dorothy folks like me are here to remember and then help others to recall, we’ve never left in the first place and not to go looking for anything outside of ourselves for it.

Yeah, so there’s an 11-11 message for anyone who is looking for one.  If you’re a numerologist or inclined to look for meanings in numbers, all those 1’s have got to do with individuality, new beginnings and most of all INDEPENDENCE.  The number one is associated with Aries and Mars and fire and directness and the warrior – the number one calls a spade a spade and really doesn’t deal well with hypocrisy.  With all those 1’s we’d naturally think about the ‘masks’ we put on:  like the image of the Wizard of Oz and the man behind the curtain.   And we’d with all those one’s we think of creating some sort of unity with individuality.  Anyway with 4 one’s or 2 eleven’s we’ve got that one meaning magnified.

I don’t have a big finish or a theatrical conclusion.  I’m sort of disappointing myself because of it because I sort of like big finishes when I can find them.  But maybe that’s part of the 11-11 thing too, who knows?

All I know is today is November 11th and intuitively I’m feeling like the energy of starting over in somehow and in some way around all of us.

But what do I know?   Nothing you may say.  And I’d have to agree.  I’m in the middle of changing my whole mind and heart right now which is my interpretive intuition of what this 11-11 is about.

Excuse me, I see a part of my straw just over there and I need to go get it so that I can continue on down this illusionary yellow-brick road in tact.  All the while I’m remembering that there actually ‘ is’ a great and powerful wizard but the outer world has nothing to do with that one’s location.

How could I have forgotten AGAIN by turning to another human for understanding!  Nobody (and I do mean body) can understand us and where we’re coming from—not really.  The soul and beyond—can we find it there?  Yes but we have to go to the heart of the soul and beyond.  I could say that we have to go somewhere over the rainbow but like Dorothy found out (so many morals to that story!), it’s futile to go looking for any heart’s desire (whether it is to be understood or consoled by anther human) or whatever it is outside of one’s self.

For if it isn’t in the mind and heart of your own soul (your own your own back yard) — because if it isn’t there, then you never really lost it to begin with!   Take the word of a psychic who temporarily forgot — or not.

Oh and don’t write to me–I know 11 is a ‘master’ number; hopefully I’ve given a partial explanation as to why.

I’m really about “who said so?”  a lot more than I ever was before.  I live more or less by observation and correlation.

One final thing—I really feel that the soul relates to “somewhere over the rainbow” even if the intellect doesn’t.  I just had a memory flash of my daughters, sister, niece and I at a recent high school band concert.  One band started to play ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’.  I looked over at them and everyone had teary, watery eyes and that smile that comes over one’s face when the heart has been touched.

Well, gotta’ go now.  I have a to-do list and need to get my walk around campus in before the day ends.  Night time comes too soon on these progressing-toward-winter days. Buh-bye for now…need to be out in the sunshine.  I won’t have a change of mind or heart about that one, 11-11 or not.

Not Enough Time? Life too Scheduled? Adjusting to Change? Lose Your Self Around Others? Dancing to the Tune of the Clock? Wisdom from the I-ching

Calm, Quiet, Slow … Mountain Time

It seems like ages since simply sitting at the keyboard and typing onto my blog has happened… and it has to do with this thing that we call time or our concept of it.  Yeah, it’s bothering me and if you’re a regular reader here, then you know that I work things out here—things that disturb my psyche or ruffle my feathers.  I look for ways to handle these dilemmas, these “pickles” of life, and hope that my post will also help another who finds it or goggles a phrase that shows up here.  Ever since I’ve moved I’ve been dealing with schedules and family itineraries!  It’s like if someone suggests something to do in the future, everyone grabs their appointment calendar to see which day they are free!

Family
LEFT: grandson
TOP TO BOTTOM RIGHT: daughters, sister and daughter, grandaughter, grandson marching band, niece

I’m simply not used to living this way—at least for the past 15 years anyway.  I thought those days were over for me; never did I think that I’d be dancing to the tune of the clock again and certainly not to a school bus or band practice or Friday night football game schedule! 

O, Please–don’t get me wrong, I love being with my grandchildren and daughters–even my sister and niece!  And we love Friday night football; yet I’m sort of ‘over’ driving two nights a week to and from band practice… but anyway….

 It’s just that my life doesn’t seem like my own anymore, but I’m adjusting and my own appointment schedule is being juggled and adjusting too! 

We’re managing.  And everything is getting done; but inside me there’s lots of resistance to this new life! 

I’m working on it though and this blog post is helping me do just THAT today.  And I hope it will help you too in some way.  Anyway…

I know this feeling of being short of time all of the time is mental and emotional and psychological and it’s an energy thing that I’ve gotten pulled into.  I’m trying to pull myself out and having a little bit of difficulty. 

It is true that I have to accommodate my family now whereas before (the past 15 years@!) there was none of that.  I chose to do so and know that it is their energy and the energy of this general vicinity that needs balancing within me. 

You know, people drive so fast around here even in the parking lot of the apartment community and energy of the white rabbit from the Alice in Wonderland story is predominating:  “I’m late, I’m late for a very important date, I’m late, I’m late, I’m late, and I’m very, very late…” 

Yeah, I feel that within my own mind and body and it gets reinforced at the start of every new day… “Hi Mom, here’s her breakfast, she has to finish this or that homework, I love you, here’s her lunch box, gotta’ go, I’m late…”   (My granddaughter stays with me in the morning until her bus comes to take her to school and my daughter rushes off to work.)

Again, I love my family and being near them most of the time.  It’s just that I don’t like that hurry-up we’re late feeling and I know it is within me unnecessarily—I carry it too often! 

It’s affecting my usual feelings of peace and ease and I miss the pace of the mountains—the general feeling everywhere was “What’s the hurry?  And besides, if you wanted me to hurry you should have told me about it 3 weeks ago.”

Aaaahhhhh, sometimes I miss that small mountain town but then other times, like last Thursday night, having sushi and seaweed salad at a local Wasabi Restaurant makes me want to jump up and down celebrating being here in civilization!  Oh, there are many things that bring up celebratory feelings about being here—take my grandson for example! 

But then, I digress—my issue involves how to deal with this hurry up feeling that predominates too often and restore the more comfortable and compatible “what’s the hurry?” attitude.

Come to think of it, this has always been my problem in all relationships—whether it is with a person or a city/community!  I am way too taken in by the ‘other’ vibe and loose myself!  Yeah, I could blame it on my Sun/Neptune/Moon natal conjunction or I could use that triple combo to my advantage.  What’z it gonna’ be? 

Whether you’re like me and are sometimes too sensitive for your own good OR NOT, we’ve got to ask the Oracle for guidance.  What can we do? What insight can you give that will help with NOT being pulled into outer energy—how can we maintain our own energy when surrounded by an incompatible vibe 24-7?   

I will turn to the I-ching now to select a coin-combo which will bring us some helpful insight on how to change our attitude about time and hurry-up energy and how NOT to lose our self in the midst of so many ‘others’.  

Well we have Kua 3 (Difficulty in the Beginning) changing to Kua 60 (Limitations).

Let’s open up this guidance. But before we do that, I just want to say that I am enjoying this Saturday morning!  I am undisturbed by duty calling me in any direction and am enjoying the birds visiting my balcony bird feeder.  The trees are only a-small-number-of-feet away from my balcony (some ends of the branches are only a few feet) and I like to pretend that I live in the trees WITH the birds and that I AM one myself!  I did more of that in the early days of my residency here—and realize now that I need to spend more time with that fantasy when I can fit it in! 

Well, to the i-ching…  the changing line in the first Kua advises “doing nothing”  and “taking a breather”.  I really relate to that!  Writing in this blog today is about that very thing.  Kua 3 is about enduring difficult transitions and this move has been such a thing which I am STILL getting used to!  I moved in June and here it is nearing the end of September and the full adjustment has yet to be accomplished!

Here’s an example:  we had a garage sale last weekend in which we all sold items that we simply could not use in our new apartments (my daughter and sister also moved here around the same time I did).  We agreed to donate what did not sell to Goodwill afterward and did.  Several days later, I went there to get a donation receipt that my sister forgot and saw an item from my mountain home.  It was a basket which I had on a porch column and I filled it with different flowers as the season’s changed.  I did not expect to see it and there it was on a shelf in the Goodwill store and suddenly I grieved the death my old life of peace and solitude.  In turning to escape the basket, my eyes landed squarely on ceramic angels that I had along the window sill in the guest bedroom—I called it “The Angel Room”.  I nearly ran out of the store with my heart aching and tears streaming down my face.  Yeah, I’m not fully adjusted to being here yet—“fer’ shuur!”  said the way we used to say it in the 80’s.

So doing nothing and taking a breather this may be a good thing to restore a little bit of balance—that’s the advice (so far) from the i-ching oracle.  This sort of stops the whole time thing from being an issue—I can understand that it would be helpful. 

I had blocked some time out for myself yesterday and actually felt guilty that I didn’t DO something during that time.  Since this small amount of free time is so precious and valuable now, you better DO something special with it… I didn’t and then felt guilty!  I never, ever used to feel guilty about doing nothing before–what gives? 

The oracle speaks of this situation as “strengthening the ability to roll with the punches” –that is what is going on now.  I have to say that bumping into the energy of my old stuff in the Goodwill Store felt like a punch—fer shure.

This is about my ability to deal with difficult transitions—according to the i-ching book for this Kua.  Yeah, I think of death when I hear the word “transition” and actually I did say to my daughter on the ‘Goodwill Day” that my reaction is part of me “grieving over my old life”.  Kua 3 really does relate to this question I’m asking.

The old was dismantled to make way for the new and now that I’m in the new, the adjustments do create certain doubts and vulnerabilities.

Maybe I need to shore up my certainties and do something to feel less vulnerable.  I need to give that some thought.  I do believe that I did the right thing to move; yet I do feel vulnerable and intuitively feel some sort of boundary is needed, somehow, to remedy the vulnerability feeling.  I just don’t know exactly how to achieve that since I seem to have to be the one to accommodate to everyone else’s schedule!

  I find my mind wandering out to future to find a school holiday and to announce to my daughters that I am not available that week—I’ve always wanted to go away to some country that doesn’t celebrate x-Mas during that x-tian holiday anyway!  But I digress.  Let’s see what else the oracle says.

This is some sort of ‘stage of growth’—this transition, this move, this complete change of lifestyle!  Haven’t I grown enough?  Wait, don’t let me go into victimization now!  This blog post is about how to  accomplish a feeling which is one in which I feel as if I have more time—let’s stick with the topic at hand here.  (self reprimand– ha ha)

Moving on.  The oracle says to stay in touch with the “needs of the moment”.  Okay this is helpful.  And that’s right! Some of this whole time shortage and “I’m late” vibe is really future oriented.  People here run around trying desperately to drive into the future instead of just dealing with the needs of the moment—that’s the “slowing down” that I’ve been doing for the past 15 years which moving here has affected.  That’s usually how I am and I’ve allowed the surrounding people, places, things to infiltrate me—and I’ve sort of lost myself as far as this part goes. 

I need to bring my mountain mentality to the big city—and live it in the now by affirming continually that I am “in touch with the needs of the moment”—yeah, I like that.  I’m going to use that.  I should make that a sign and hang it up on the wall to remind myself! 

SIGN SHOULD READ:  I AM IN TOUCH WITH THE NEEDS OF THE MOMENT—PERIOD!

The Oracle also says that any attempt to make a plan or to make sense of things is premature and will lead to frustration.  Be gentle with the self and go slowly.

Let them rush and be late!  I don’t have to.  Right?

Kua 60 is about “Limitations” and speaks of “testing your own serenity in the chaos exposes the depth of self-disclipline” and also the manner in which we respond to “limitations” is revealing of what has been deeply assimilated. 

I have deeply assimilated the mountain energy and the inner peace of living a serene life has been genuinely anchored within me.  It is my true nature and true self.  I have to remember that it is there and cannot be affected—it is only necessary to stay in touch with myself by staying in touch with the needs of the moment.

Alright, I’ve gone on long enough and I’m good–are you?  I feel better and have, via this writing, helped to reinforce what is needed to establish my SELF in the moment again.

I hope this writing has helped another soul who may be able to use and apply any thoughts within these paragraphs. 

Day #5 ‘All the World’s a Stage’ and Dealing with Change and Stage Fright in Your Own Life Play

It’s Day #5 and true to the last post, have been going at it “in a bit of a run”—fa’ sure!  The wheels were set into motion big time over the past two days and with so much still to do, there’s a bit of guilt about sitting at the computer, typing.  Yet, I may want to look back on this for encouragement (or maybe laughs!) later—besides, maybe someone will be helped by these posts about how I’m dealing with these  ♫ cha-cha-cha-cha-a-a-anges ♫.

People have recently told me that they never thought I’d commit to this change and honestly I didn’t either; and the greater part of me denied that these changes were already taking place on subtle levels before the lid blew off, before the genie got out of the bottle and before the lid to Pandora’s Box suddenly flew open! 

You know those moments when you hear your mouth saying things and watch yourself doing things while a unknown force seems to be pushing you from behind the unknown curtain?  “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain”, says the Wizard of Oz!

Meanwhile, the good ole’ personality me or what I’ve been calling ‘me-self’ sort of goes into a bit of shock—well, the day before yesterday it happened again.  I mean it’s silly, you know?  There we are standing in the middle of the change that is happening all around and then some communication comes that everything is right on track—green flag and all that. 

The 3 Aces in the Tarot card spread (indicating a very strong YES) were so right on–this weekend really kick started things forward!

What is it about that anyway?  It created an emotional trigger.  I think it is the sudden acceleration of life changing—like you’re in a car where someone pulled away very fast at the traffic light and your stomach gets left behind while the rest of you lurches suddenly forward.  Well, that’s how that moment of panic feels.  Even though I had checked, double checked, triple checked and quadruple checked before the greater part of me took over and jumped through the window of opportunity that was open before me—even with all that checking, I had a moment when I thought, “Wait, are you SURE you can handle this?”  And then of course at the same time I realized we had reached the point of no return—it was too late if I made a misjudgment.  Oh yeah, the pulse started to race; and even though my hot-flash days are over, I had one! 

What IS that?  I call that kind of thing an emotional trigger response.  An old wound, a sensitive spot in the psyche got hit and for a few moments I was spinning out in the ethers (at least my consciousness was). 

What are we afraid of when we go into panic and fear this way?  Today I am going to allow the answer to that question to surface—although I already know even as I type here.  I won’t share it publically—at least not now; maybe after the 30 days I will.  It may be 45 days, but surely this is not going to take 60 like I originally thought.  We’ve been going at it in a bit of a run—that Harry Potter movie scene (see last blog post) turned out to be quite the predictive phrase; no wonder it jumped out at me in such a significant way when I heard it the other day.

I was a bit disappointed that I had those 2 or 3 (that’s all it was) intense moments of fear and panic the other day.  Some of the reason for it (like I just said) is known to me but I just realized that another reason relates to that runaway train feeling that comes with that thought, “What if I made the wrong decision?  It’s too late to turn back now!”  And then comes the big fear—the trigger. 

I had to calm the ‘me-self’ and as soon as I realized that I had NOT made a literal, physical mistake—whew!  Deep breaths and a good laugh about it, but still I had to shake my head because the thing is, I thought we dealt with all that and put it to rest.  

Aside from the 2 minute moment of panic the day before yesterday—things are moving forward rapidly and smoothly and I have my sense of humor in tact and I’m excited that I jumped through that window of opportunity!  I am looking forward to a busy week with clients, students and lots of other activity–that part is always THE BEST

Best to keep a sense of humor and keep on talking to Higher Self  and  ♫ Just Breathe ♫.

Day #2 Going at it in a bit of a run!

I took a break – a physical one.  When I clean house I like to play videos; I listen.  I went through all my closets (tossing, organizing and repackaging) this winter to all 3 Lord of the Rings videos—about 4 times over. 

I’ve got video #1 of the Harry Potter series playing now as I move forward (or try to if I can rebalance) with Day #2 of the 60 day drama that lies ahead.  Well, it doesn’t have to be a drama; best use the word “experience” or better yet “adventure” instead.  I’m nervous about it—or trying not to be.

Change can be that way as we all know and sometimes not thinking about it too much is the right ticket.  Had to talk to the ‘me-self ‘a few times today, “Keep on breathing, keep on talking” to the tempo of the little Finding Nemo movie that contains the famous lines from Dori, “Keep on swimming, keep on swimming…” 

(My inner-child likes children’s movies–obviously.)

Change is a good thing—we can get stuck in same ole’, same ole’ and the longer we put it off, the more nervous we can potentially become as a result.

I watch it you know?  I watch myself as the observer who has sympathy for the fears and nervous tummy of the ‘me-self’.  I walk in both worlds in that way—probably you do too.

I had to laugh at the scene that was playing on the Harry Potter flick when I entered the living room to sit down and take a break.  Harry was looking at the entrance way to platform 9 3/4 at the London train station to board the Hogwarts express.  You’ve seen the movie, right?  He watches the other kids run through the brick wall that is in place between platform 9 and 10.  One of the mothers of the other children tells Harry, “Best to go at it at a bit of a run dear if you’re nervous.”

All the kids get through the brick wall by running through it—no time to think… just go at it “at a bit of a run”. 

The obstacle was removed and what was official yesterday is so official now that there’s no turning back and the 60 days may turn out to be 30 days.  I used my tarot cards to ask a yes/no question about if the change is going to be announced today to be ‘officially’ official!  Result?  3 Aces!  You can’t get a more positive yes than that.  A few hours later we got the call confirming that. YIKES!, it’s gets more REAL by the second!  🙂

Now the pressure increases and there’s no time for the ‘me-self’ to have any doubt, apprehension or fear.  No time for that anyway—the date moved forward 30 days or at least the goal date. 

So, just like Harry, I’d best go at it “at a bit of a run.”   I thought it good enough advice to make a blog post.  If you have something to do that you are apprehensive or nervous about–run toward it and don’t think too much.  Because now that I think about it, remembering past experiences, it does work!

Me-self and  my higher-self are working together on this!  We agree; it’s best to go at it at a bit of a run!