Feel Alone, Different, Like an Outcast? How Much Do You Unveil About Yourself to Others?

lonelyThat settles it!  Someone emailed me this morning asking me a question that I’ve been considering since last night.  Essentially, to bottom-line it, the individual is dealing with certain life challenges which (it sounds like) cause feelings of being alone and disconnected from the rest of the world.  I was just reflecting upon this very thing myself last night with my own physical setback here, realizing how lonely it can be (if you let it) when you’re ill or sick.  It feels very isolating–especially in my own case in that I could be contagious and purposefully avoid others and don’t blame people who would avoid me.  ‘Shoe being on the other foot’, I’ve done the same thing.  Someone coughs or sneezes or grabs for a tissue out in public, usually I’m the first one to go the other way.

But then again, this individual asks about deceit or pretending to be ‘normal’ like the others in the world (whatever normal means anyway) because the illness isn’t as obvious as a sneeze or cough.  The person finds it easier to tell those white lies or fib a little about things link vocation/career and in all relationships with others feels ‘abnormal’ in the world whilst otherwise there are no outward signs to the contrary.  Basically, the person asks me how I feel about this or if it were me how I’d handle it all.  But before we go further….

Fair warning:  I may ramble or meander being still under the influence of previous days worth of Benedryl and other such antihistamine and decongestant type drugs that my body ingested.  Then after being ‘too far gone’ and letting this “head-cold turn spring allergy” get out of hand and grow into a monster with various heads, the busy doctor’s office finally fit me in and AZithromycin (aka Z-pac antibiotics) are now fighting the battle with me.  So that’s why–I’m woozy and (until now) too ‘out of it’ to respond to email or sit at a computer in order to even focus long enough to blog or type anything meaningful.  But if you hang in through this maybe we can come out the other side with something worth the writing for me and the reading for you.

Again, for clarity’s sake, the individual with the question does not have a physically contagious malady and in fact it is not anything obvious to the casual observer (according to their description), which honestly I imagine to be more difficult than otherwise.  Why?

Because all expectations from society or ‘others’ in the world is that there exist in each life those common societal conditions considered to be ‘normal’.  But either way, maybe with my own little condition here (temporary one hopes), there’s a little something within me that can qualify me to give an answer or insight, albeit a small one.  After all, this is only a week for me whereas for this other individual, likely it’s been a lifelong issue.

But then again… well, wait.  Let’s consider it.  I think most of us spend our days here trying our best to feel normal and fit in and for the most part we can deceive ourselves into thinking we are.  Others seem to accept our explanations of ourselves as we covey those lines that mean, “I’m just like you.”  In fact, most of us probably do this more subconsciously than we realize.

I’ve long been aware of how I go ‘to the level of’ the person that I’m communicating with in order to establish a common thread in which to relate.  Take, for example, people who have a Virgo-Victim type of work ethic in the world.  You know the type.  All they talk about is how many long hours they put in and how early they rise in the morning and how crazy their boss is and basically… well, you get the idea.  You surely are not going to establish a common ground to relate to them by describing your life as one in which your values are totally different.   For example, maybe you’ve learned a few things and one is to work smart and not long or perhaps you’ve inherited a lot of money that changed your previous work ethic  Who knows why but let’s say that your life situation is totally different and doesn’t require those long hours.  Or maybe you simply aren’t wired to work 14 hour days at Walmart — and I just made that up; not knowing how many hours Walmart employees work in a day.  But you get the idea.

So are you being deceitful if your way of life is simply different (for various and sundery reasons) and…. well, here’s an example.  Let’s say I used to have a job once upon a time like that one perhaps and so can honestly relate and say, “Whew honey!  I hear ya’ sister.  Been there done that!”  So am in being deceitful?  Or maybe I did some work for my own business in which I worked day and night without much rest (like when I created my first website).  I was a self-employed task master!  (sometimes being your own boss you can be more of a slave-driver than any outside employer).  Either way, I can still relate and don’t have to feel dis-connected.

Well, okay.  Maybe those are silly examples.

I think it’s more a matter of ‘taking it on’ in a way.  In other words, helping the other person feel better about who they are by sort of pretending to meet their standards of how they see normal.  It’s like playing their game with them so that they feel okay about who they are and what they’re doing.

Sort of like agreeing with a crazy person–why would you try to convince them that their not if they are?  Now it’s true that they would think that it is ‘we’ who are the crazy ones when in fact it is ‘we’ who realize it is them!

Now who is crazy and who isn’t–pretty silly thing to speculate, right?

I don’t know if it’s best to pretend you are similar to others to help them feel okay if it makes you feel ‘not okay’.  But then again.  Whose to say whose crazy and who isn’t and whose okay and whose not?

The thing is that everybody is really alone with their own stuff and is pretending to be part of the conditioned society.  Ever hear that story about the emperor who has no clothes?

Being different — you being the only one willing to admit the emperor guy is naked –can be a lonely place to stand BUT ONLY IF YOU LET IT.  And that’s a key.

Got to toss in another one-liner and that’s the saying about feeling lonely in a crowd.  I’d pose to the individual who emailed the question about feeling deceitful by pretending to be like the others who can brag or discuss their life because it’s more accepted by consensus society to consider that everybody feels that way at a core level but most people spend the majority of their life trying to ‘fit in’ and be like what the consensus standards dictate.  Why do they do it?  Not all, of course, but some are afraid to be different or not-accepted.

In the end, we are born alone and we die alone but now we’re here we are with others; yet each of us is unique and different while at the very exact same time, we’re all the same!  A Zen riddle or a Paradox.

But most people don’t think about these things–too busy trying to fit in and make their mark or to achieve something to prove they are/were here.  Not all, of course, we have others consumed with helping others in some way and doing it going to a selfless level and so they probably never consider these kinds of things.  Good on them!

We’re all like that at times too of course.  Maybe the thing to consider is that we’re not like all people at all times–we have some similarities to others, always.  To find those and to relate to them is not being deceitful unless you believe it is.

Generally, ‘its a pickle’ as the saying goes.  And how a person views a thing or an attitude or a life situation is a personal decision.  I’ve felt like the outcast in my family and in any career or job I’ve held throughout my entire life and my work with intuition and astrology is fringe as compared to society at large.

I’ve not felt that separation from others so acutely until recently with regard to my health.  I’ve been sick before with flu or respiratory symptoms–bronchitis or the flu but never before did I feel as alone or cut-off as this time.  It was a different experience and one which has given me moments to pause, thinking toward the end-of-life scenario possibilities that we all face eventually.

What have those moments of pause revealed?  One thing that comes to the fore is how precious life is and what a gift it is and the realization of how much of my life I’ve spent resisting the many gifts Life as offered me by worrying about things like the gosh darn bills that come in the mail every month and the monthly rent that’s due!

I’m nearing 68 years old which by today’s standards is still young but when I was a child that was really, really, really old!  Anyway, life is more precious to me all the time and a few side trips into isolation from illness enabled me to have a preview of what my end days may be like.  And I see how it is a choice.

Isolation (whether forced or imposed) and whether it comes from being the oddball in society in any way — be that way due to illness of any type of different-ness  — is a gift really.  Those feelings  arising from that situation come to us as a catalyst to go within and reflect, resulting in the ability to make a choice as to whether or not we permit them to create a guilty state of being or a lonely state of being.  Its a choice.

To the person making the inquiry, I’d add this  To consider the fact that we (he/she and I) are aware enough to consider these matters is also a rare gift.  And we can use the awareness to create (or ‘be’) an example in the world which is either positive or negative but either way which creates by its very nature “teaching moments” as the saying goes.

No, I don’t mean that we have to ‘spill it’ to people who don’t care or who are strangers.  With those folks it’s probably best to play the game (pretend to be who they can most easily accept) in to help them (not ourselves) feel comfortable with interactions.

But to those who we do open up to and do reveal or expose ourselves, we do so and hope to create some awareness in those others or perhaps plant a seed in some way.

Is this making sense?  I mean look at a physician, a doctor..  Is it appropriate for him to go around examining people when he’s at a picnic or at the gym doing his workout?  The doctor doesn’t reveal himself when it’s not appropriate either.  Would it not be the same with anyone else?

I am feeling a bit weary now being that the antibiotic and I are still ‘fighting the good fight’ as the saying goes.  And the body is telling me to rest a bit now.

I don’t know if there may be a line here or a word or two here in what I’ve written today that is helpful to the email inquirer or to the casual reader of this blog.  I can only hope.

Oh, and one thing that has come from my own recent challenge is that it has create a desire within me to ‘visit the sick’ in some way as a volunteer in the community.  Now that I’ve had the personal experiences of how that feels–that loneliness of being sick–which I do not choose to entertain it (choice), it has inspired me to help others who may be feeling this alone feeling which I choose not to forget.

Anyway, I no longer volunteer at the soup kitchen (I lost my place with that when I moved) — this may be a way that I can do a little something on a volunteer basis again and I intend to look into it.

Perhaps, as a suggestion, the one who feels deceitful about their life could find (like me) something to do as a volunteer to help balance out those feelings.

Well, the person did write and asked me how I would handle it or what I would say about his/her “unveiling their true self to others”, using his/her words.

I will end this with the hope that there’s something within this post that you can use for your next step or as at least a partial answer to your question.

Another thought as I conclude, is that in some areas of my life, such as in places within my own control where i can keep a certain illusion of anonymity or where I feel there may be a greater acceptance, I tend to reveal quite a lot. Such as in my classes or in this blog, my website or weekly newsletter.  There’s a time and place for everything. One has to ‘read’ the situation, become sensitive, and follow ones intuition about what to say to who and when about one’s identity.  I always say the stomach or the ‘gut’ feelings can lead us to knowing when to speak and when to be quiet about ourselves.

I don’t tell every tom-dick-harry or man-on-the-street that I dig Divination, do Tarot, love Mysticism,  Buddhism and Hinduism (a few of my interests) and that I do astrology or that I teach about intuition or ‘read’ energy for others.  It’s still fairly well Fringe for the most part–I get that.  Not everyone is going to understand I’m not in cahoots with “the devil” like one of my own sister’s believes!  Also, one does have to maintain a certain sense of humor.

I’ve nearly worn myself out now…  I think what helps is to try to remember that we’re all alone with who we are and our divine self, the one within and that nobody is ever  going to ever fully understand us anyway–for me there’s a certain freedom in remembering that.

Time to lay the recovering body down a while for now….

Bottom line:  All is Well and Exactly as it Should Be!  

Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Libra with players Pluto, Uranus and Jupiter – How it plays out

Full Moon Lunar Eclipse (Blood Moon) - April 4, 2015
Full Moon Lunar Eclipse (Blood Moon) – April 4, 2015

Today – It’s a super charged Full Moon (April 4, 2015) in Libra!  What can this mean? Here’s my version…

But is it only today that we may feel (Moon/emotion) the effects?  No; it’s more or less a theme that’s been occurring at least since the last eclipse (Solar a few weeks ago, March 20).

Something shifted around that time, perhaps ended—a change; a new way of BE-ing may have occurred for you.

And now, that’s associated with a new beginning.

Don’t’ get hung up on the exact dates; instead just think about something that may have occurred in the life 2 or 3 weeks ago (or even  a month or so ago) that set you up for the new phase that this eclipse is heralding—new beginning; new way of seeing things; new way of being in the world; new chapter in the life.  (We can experience the effects of an eclipse months before and months after–or so they say and so I’ve personally observed.)  But what are the key factors we can realize now?

Relationship is the key word with this energy and if you’re like me—happy to be in relationship with Self with a capital S (Higher Self) and with Divine Being you may, like me, be seeing life in a whole new light.  That should be a capital L really in the word Life—meaning All That Is and of course all that isn’t and the space in between.

Of course, we’d also have to mention personal one-on-one relationships with family, friends, life partners too which may be taking on a whole new meaning right about now and over the next few months.

This is no ordinary placement.  The Sun is conjunct Uranus and T-squaring Pluto.  What a mixture!   Moon, Uranus in Aries, the Libra Sun and tossed into that we also have the Capricorn Pluto – better not reference tossing Pluto, Lord of the Underworld, anywhere– it’s he who does the tossing.  LOL

Sun in Aries wants freedom and the ability to do it’s own thing regarding its purpose in life and the planet Uranus is empowering that Sun to go for it! As I see it, the planets and luminaries are setting up that theme when the Sun/Uranus opposes Moon and squares Pluto.

To me that configuration indicates  finding freedom in our life in a new way–one which challenges our feelings of security or actually enhances those feelings to create transformational (Pluto, the transformer) attitudes or views regarding how we relate to others and/or to Life Itself.  Pluto is quite psychological and so we could sense here a new psychology in your life–perhaps a highly personal one that creates a new beginning.

Can you see or feel how this can be playing out in your life now?  And how it has been occurring for some time now?

Jupiter plays a part in this attitudinal, emotional energy merger and change of view too. Jupiter, the great benefic, is highly focused via it’s retrograde motion.  It’s moving through Leo now.   And now its making an aspect to the other players, bringing with it a sense of playfulness and joy and mostly FUN.   That’s the energy that influences and balances this new attitude and way of be-ing that is taking shape and changing our lives right now.

May the blessings of Jupiter be yours and may you find the freedom and harmony in your life that brings the new freedom/ liberation of contented happiness with the influence of this eclipse both now and over the next 6 months!

The Fool and The MisUnderstood Fringe Dweller

“Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self Reliance

00_The_FoolRelationships!  Great teachers!  That quote always helps me to feel better at times when I feel mis-judged or mis-understood.  I wanted to blog a bit about it and hope in doing so that it helps others who come across this problem themselves.  This may be a more common experience among fringe dwellers and those are the type to come across a blog such as this.

Anyway, do we subconsciously ask for these judgments and or set ourselves up for the opinionated wrath of others?  I don’t think so.  Perhaps a tarot card can help us out here so I pulled one.  And by the way what I’ve observed is that those who point the finger at fringe dwellers are those that fear being on the fringe themselves and as so often happens we project our fears onto others.

So the cards we have here to help us understand these types of experiences are one major and one minor arcana card — namely, The Fool and the 3 of Pentacles.

The Fool has no home, no destination, with no possessions.  I have to laugh a bit at the cosmic joke here–currently I am without a home that is my own (I share an apartment) and essentially live in one bedroom.  I don’t know where I am going to be going (on various waiting lists currently) and well, this last part is partly true.  Most of my possessions are in storage and they’re not much at that–I’ve probably paid more in storage rent than the stuff is actually worth!  In that way this card describes my life right now–thus, the cosmic joke.  But getting back to the point now….

The Fool is fed by what Zen folks would call THE TAO, or the Great Mother or The Divine Intelligence.  And I think this is what fringe dwellers who are mis-understood should remember.  It’s important.

Others (the one’s who mis-calculate our life and our reasoning and our behaviors) are mere reflections of energy that we sometimes cast in more important roles than they deserve.  What I mean there is that we put people in a role many times and then we expect certain behaviors or perhaps a particular loyalty or some such attribute.  And then of course, they let us down.  People most all of the time do not live up to the expectations we have of the roles that we assign to them in our minds.

And that is a 2-way street of course.  It’s the reason we feel misunderstood at the same time the other mis-judges.

The thing is that it is we who are judging our own self, isn’t it?  We judge ourselves for not being part of the pack and then we see that reflection.

It is okay not to be part of the pack and this is why I like the quote from Emerson on self-reliance.  it is reliance on THE TAO or the GREAT MOTHER or reliance on the DIVINE INTELLIGENCE or DIVINE LOVE.

Not being part of the pack and feeling the pack turn against us (no matter how it comes about–i.e. reflection or not) is helpful in that it turns us back within toward that energy as described–the Divine Love.

Many times we want others to give us that respect, that love and to provide that sense of ‘belonging’ for us that we can only give to ourselves.  it is like turning ourselves inside out to find all of that within.  We fringe dwellers have done that over and over again, many times.  it is part of being on the fringe; only old souls or experienced souls seem to be capable of handling it.  I see that observing others who seem to be like myself–that’s why I say so.  Reflections? Maybe, but I do observe and correlate and we do carry the collective unconscious within us.

The tarot card of The Fool is all about learning from experience and and knowing that he is one with All That Is–so why worry?  The Fool is comfortable being alone and without attachment because of the inner knowledge that there is never any separation whatsoever and as in the the movie, The Matrix when the young adept says, “There is no spoon”, it is the same way with The Fool.  Even if there is a fall, even if it hurts a bit, it is just part of the Divine Matrix, an grand illusion.

We are sustained by Life Itself after all and not by the others–they only play out a role of our own making to help us see the truth… there is no spoon, no fringe, no dweller and no others, not ultimately.  Conventionally we have to acknowledge the existence of others, the pack, and the world of matter, but ultimately, “there is no spoon”.

It is a gift really to be mis-judged and mis-understood because it is at those times we are being assisted or reminded of ultimate reality.  It is not denial, it is enlightenment at least in the moment of the recalled realization.

I love being a psychic and in touch with various forms of divination and the tools of the trade.

03_Three_of_PentaclesPS— i nearly forgot about the 3 of pentacles but then again writing this blog post as I feel misunderstood today is an example of that card’s meaning.  I often think of this card as doing work.

Planting seeds, GETTING REAL and that’s writing this blog post today is about for me.   Applying your craft.

Many spokes attach to the hub but it is the empty center that turns the wheel, they say.    Emptiness has potential–that is associated with the 3 of pentacles as well.

The 3 of pentacles as a person is one who is highly skilled and has deep feelings.  This card reminds us to apply our craft, our art to any perceived problem or concern in life.

Boundaries and Blackbirds: Our greatest challenge is to break away from the herd

What do boundaries and blackbirds have in common?
What do Boundaries and Blackbirds have in common?

Carl Jung said that as humans our greatest challenge is to break away from the herd

Boundaries.  Those lines we draw around ourselves to maintain balance and to protect our psyche from invasion.  Yes, or maybe ‘intrusion’ is a gentler word.

The push of energy that comes from the behavior and the demands of others requires a boundary.  That boundary keeps us from being used or manipulated by others and within that boundary we can express our true nature.  Personal boundaries allow us to be in the driver’s seat of our own lives.

Without healthy boundaries we sometimes give up a part of our self to be available or accommodating in a way that enables others and causes a loss of self-respect.

We can  become so entangled with another person and their needs (co-dependent behavior) that we lose your own identity. This undermines our integrity and leads to a loss of self-respect — and the respect of others around you.

Respecting boundaries. I asked my self today if I honor other people’s boundaries.  Do I push myself on others?  When I get a hint that a person does not wish to socialize with me, do I continue to insist that they do so?  And  do I solicit others in passive-aggressive ways to elicit sympathy from others using them to assist me to push boundaries even further?

Sounds like a little bit like the animal–the bull, doesn’t it.  But you know how some people keep on antagonizing the other, right?   I have a visual.   Someone who is like a bull and charges upon others.   Wave that red flag in my face one more time and I may, do like the bull, and charge!  🙂

Do people have a fundamental right to set limits and expectations in their life without incurring the judgment of others?  I think they do.  You know that saying,  “You can’t really understand another person’s experience until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.“–??

Can people consider the wishes of others yet still make choices regarding personal boundaries?

People are the way they are.  Can we accept that without judging them, trying to manipulate or change them?

I operate from my own truth.  You do too.  And when we respect other people’s truths,  we expect our own truths to be respected in return.

Manipulative people do not understand boundaries.  They force themselves into the space of other people’s lives.

Where’s the compassion?  Fear is the root of it all, you know?  The boundary pushing person has a fear of not being loved, not being good enough, deserving enough.  Okay, that’s understood.  So then what? Do we let the person keep pushing or what?

Compassion for the boundary pusher and for the one with the boundaries ( both ) is what’s needed here.  There is the defensiveness from the one with the boundaries who says, “See what I see, hear what I hear, feel what I feel and then maybe you will understand.”  And the other one, in the meanwhile,  of course still pushes– the habit of fear being the driving motivation.

“You couldn’t handle half of what I’ve dealt with and don’t understand that there’s a reason that I do what I do”, says the one who has been willing to accept responsibility for their own life and who has developed the self-respect which created the boundary.  Victim talk?

Personal boundaries are more than OK–and it doesn’t mean that you are selfish or unkind if you push back when someone pushes yours.  Boundaries mean that you have a clear picture of who you are and how you want to live.

In a family dynamic it is always more difficult or better said–complex.  Sometimes we have to endure a person for the sake of keeping the relatives happy, right?  Or do we?  Do we enable dysfunctional behaviors in family members? Or don’t we?

The “herd mystique” and it’s allure

There is a quote from Carl Jung about this being one of the human’s greatest challenges.  Fitting in with the group, the herd, the clan–“You are family so you HAVE TO be around me!”  Where is that written?  Genetic connection or NOT;  do we vote with our presence indicating that dysfunctional behavior is acceptable?

On another note, is it our responsibility to straighten other people out in ways that we believe they should ‘act’ according to our own standards of behavior?  Whoa! Now  that’s one huge judgment if we believe that.  Where’s THAT truth?  Speak it.  Does that sound right if you say it aloud?  Best not to push your truth onto others or become a evangelist — that’s a karma creator if there ever was one.

By placing a boundary and living within it, you are living your own truth and being compassionate to yourself and to the other as well.  You are also teaching people in your life what self-respect looks like through example.

We have to trust what we know and what we have learned from the work that we have done in our own life via self-analysis, theology, philosophy and spirituality. 

This is especially true if we speak about times when our boundaries are pushed and disrespected, especially in a family situation.  Those are the most charged with the opportunity for growth and for teaching through example.

People who push boundaries are giving you the opportunity to develop or to teach self-respect.  Pushing back is a delicate art.  Knowing how to push back against pushy people takes stamina and skill. (Personally, some days I feel too old for it quite honestly.)

Anyway, push-back involves maintaining your own autonomy and self-esteem when you are being invaded.  You know that you need to step back and protect yourself, while minimizing any hostility or confrontation.  Not easy.  People are going to be offended.  Sometimes I think pushy people know that and it makes them push all the more–or they enjoy the drama.

People who push boundaries are acting out of fear and desperately trying to fulfill their own needs.  Social self-reliance is not really their forte’, their strong suit yet; they’re working on it.  We’re all a work in progress.

Self-care means recognizing the importance of your feelings and honoring them and when you set boundaries, this is what you are doing.  It’s important.

But we’re “All One”–right?

We’re all one and connected and while this is true, and while we can be compassionate and understanding as we see the ‘bigger picture’ with self and others, we still have to be able to function here and in order to do so we must stay emotionally healthy while maintaining boundaries… all the while doing the relationship dance.  Being human isn’t easy.

Being human isn’t easy and being the best human you can be… well, it’s tricky sometimes.

I think the best thing we can do is get out of the judgment with the whole business with boundaries and relationships and being social.  I think Jung was right about the “herd mystique”– our greatest challenge being to break away from the herd.

To fully “individuate” is to be able to stop trying to “fit in” and  to be comfortable living in your own truth.  Separating one’s self from those to whom one does not feel an authentic connection takes courage.  The wrath of the clan falls upon you sometimes; that comes along with the territory of being your own person.

There is perceived safety in numbers which is an illusion just as much as any other erroneous belief we hold about living in this dimension.  Some people, and maybe I’m one, feel more authentic outside of the herd.  Strong boundaries are needed and when threatened, need re-enforcing.  Should that be a surprise?

What about karma?

Karma.  It’s our intention that creates it.  I think that needs to be said as well.  To have a boundary does not carry ill intent.

No man is an island onto himself, it is said.  We are one; yet, it is ego that separates us or gives a unique history of experiences and thus identity.

Judgment also separates us– i.e. “…you are different” or “… you should behave toward me in one way or another”.  It all gets us to work on our human growth and evolution both individually and collectively.

blackbirdBut in the meanwhile, as we do all of that, I like the blackbird way of interacting with their fellow birds. If a bird lands on a nearby branch and is not the mate of that blackbird they do a little nod (a bow) and fly away. Blackbirds are pretty solitary.  They are known to establish their territory, fiercely defending it (boundaries) by driving off any of their kind that get close to their vicinity.  Boundaries and blackbirds seem to go together.

What’s the bottom line? The ending conclusion? The final thought?  The summary? The point? The meaning?  I don’t know.   I just do hope something here helps someone out in cyber-world as I worked through some thoughts about boundaries today.

Here’s an article about emotional manipulation that I came across shortly after writing the blog above.  Some may find this helpful:

http://themindunleashed.org/2014/09/8-ways-spot-emotional-manipulation-free.html

FULL MOON PHASE Lunar Eclipse October 8, 2014 BLOOD MOON

Blood Moon Full Moon Lunar Eclipse2

Well here’s a Full Moon in Aries theory for you. People who go bonkers during a Full Moon in a relationship sign (Aries Moon/Libra Sun such as it is now) are suspect for this reason:   people will pick a fight with another or provoke reactions in other people for the purpose of dealing with their own conflicts about relationships. Yeah—totally happens.

Full Moons by their very nature are about oppositions (Moon opposing the Sun) and so there will be people born under a Full Moon to whom relationships mean “everything” and others will repudiate all relationships altogether.  Polarity extremes are part of a Full Moon and in relationship signs like the current Aries/Libra Moon/Sun, it’s the same way.  Therefore,  I tend to believe that this is the case with all transiting full Moons too but  especially in the relationship signs of Libra/Aries where even the Lunar Nodes are also currently  transiting.

So at the peak of the Full Moon yesterday with the Moon still in Aries, how did that go for you? Any Mars/Venus interactions? Any Yang/Yin oppositions? Anything surprising? –Uranus, the planet of surprise, was in alignment with the Moon and Sun. Well, whatever it may have been, short lived and sudden as it may have been, the effects will be long lasting whatever it was.

The Moon has now (at the time that I post this) slipped into Taurus—a more peaceful and pleasant emotional territory but the Blood Moon Eclipse had its effect and now we deal with the energy it left behind.

The Moon, which is being eclipsed, is the natural ruler of family, domestic situations, and women. That Full Moon has just occurred in the fiery, and often inflammatory, sign of Aries. One astrologer said issues with women during this Full Moon would not be unexpected, and it’s possible that one may check out on you either emotionally or physically–(adios).

Issues with caregiving can be part of a relationship dynamic at this time. And then there’s always that type of familial “damned if you do, and damned if you don’t” kind of drama. Am I ringing any bells?

GOOD NEWS:  If you can stay out of the dramas (and other people’s aggressions) at this time when the Moon is at it’s fullest, the energy can be purely exhilarating and energizing.

As far as that New Moon intention that we set in motion a few weeks ago, things have peaked, hit the high note and from here on out (the rest of this cycle) the Moon wanes and the energy calms, declines.

But have no fear; a lot can still happen—we are only at the very beginning of the waning cycle. Look out your window now, the Moon is still plenty full.

Generally speaking, as compared to a few weeks ago, things are clearer now than they were then—cards are put out on the table so-to-speak.

Life’s paradoxes become more vivid now—we can see other people’s view points if we are the least bit perceptive and unselfish.

There’s a sense of fate of inevitability that becomes evident here at the Full Moon time and in various ways not just in the way that it relates to the New Moon seed that you planted (either consciously or without knowing what you were doing).

What’s Normal Now:  You could have fear about how you think things are going to evolve in the next few weeks as the Moon wanes, but don’t have a fatalistic attitude!  You see more clearly and realize that things can change at any moment, and you know they have to.  Why? You realize that some things cannot be amended or repaired and some situations are truly stuck and you resolve not to prolong those.

I think it was Steven Forest who said something like if we have to have karma/drama then drama that moves us forward is evolution and is better than rather than drama that goes nowhere but back to square one. I could see that in a situation recently in my own life—yet I don’t think it had much to do with the seed that I planted through my desire or intention during the New Moon a few weeks ago, but maybe so.  Time will tell. Those realizations often times come much later.

Dane Rudhyar says that if a positive attitude of growth and liberation have prevailed during the waxing phase (as the Moon grows toward full), there comes some feeling of fulfillment, illumination and revelation at the FULL MOON. On a personal level, I really am experiencing that now in more than one situation at this time!

That message that we received at the time of the Sun/Moon merging conjunction has now reached the conscious mind fully and arrived in clear, objective consciousness. Something of the past is repudiated – some old value/belief/worry/fear (something) is released in favor of a new realization!  THAT’S Full Moon energy all over!

And so now there is a reorienting with a different purpose than a few weeks ago.

EXCEPTION: if an individual has been negative or carried a hesitant attitude over prior weeks, the Full Moon time can bring about a destructive attitude or a mental dilemma. There can be feelings of being torn; a splitting of the personality but this of course is delusion as all feelings of separateness are. In relationships where feelings of separateness occur the vital essence of the relationship is destroyed. Why? Because that is the denial of relatedness!  Negative energy sees conflicting energy where there is none—such as seeing the Sun conflicting with the Moon in opposition when they are actually relating/merging/compromising. How can you relate to something when you feel that the something is separate from you?  How can you relate to something or someone to which you feel you are being denied the connection? That’s how feeling torn comes about—a bit like personality schizophrenia.

By the by, I admit to getting of the concepts offered in the above  paragraph from the work of  astrologer Dane Rudhyar.  I have include it (heavy as it is) because of personally experiencing the truth to it.  I did paraphrase the concepts the way.

PERSONAL INPUT:  We will see what happens as the Moon wanes over the next few weeks but that ‘bit-of-a-ray-of-hope’ that happened in the New Moon phase 2 weeks ago, that whisper of a hope became concrete and survived and energy of the other phases is peaking now—this is definitely happening in my own personal experience as it relates to my New Moon intention/desire/seed planting. Yet, I still do not wish to reveal what it is that I’ve been focusing upon; not quite yet.

Meanwhile, I’m learning a lot about the Moon cycle writing these blog posts on the Lunation Cycle and applying the information to my own life.

By the way, a bit of trivia here but I just wrote about Joan of Arc in this week’s newsletter and that ties into this blog post since Joan of Arc was born during Full Moon— or so they say.  Her life story epitomizes Full Moon energy.

Anyway, let us ‘hang-in-there’ through the rest of this Lunar Full Phase.

I could have written a book on the fact that this Full Moon is called a BLOOD MOON but, it’s been a long day!  Another time.
The Moon enters the next lunar cycle gate at 225° at what is called the Waning Disseminating lunar phase. See you again around that time at 15° Gemini early next week if my calculations are correct!

That should be around Oct. 12th/13th when the Moon enters that next Waning Disseminating phase.

See you then.

QUICK MOON PHASE LINKS: 

New Moon 

Crescent (Waxing)

First Quarter

Gibbous (Waxing)

FULL MOON

Disseminating (Waning)

Last Quarter

Waxing Crescent – Balsamic 

When the Moon transits the 7th House

MOON in the 7th House

When the Moon Transits the 7th house issues of trust can surface, knowing who to trust.  We can also be sensitive to the moods of others–it is, after all, the house of others, any others, including but not exclusive to partners.  The 7th relates to intimacy and connections with others so at the time of the month that the Moon moves through your 7th house you may take a risk to initiate intimacy on some level.  For example, I wrote to a client/friend this week about something very personal which is unusual for me to do (unless I trust them and also know them well).  I realize that the connection to Luna in the relationship house supported my doing that.

We can project like crazy and accept the projections of others when the Moon connects in here—this house is ruled by Venus and Libra and they are the queens of projection.

We are going to naturally be seeking harmony and balance with others when the Moon passes here because the Moon in us wants to feel happy and secure and harmony and balance support that serenity,

We may be indecisive about how we feel about things–the Libra quality with the Moon here in the 7th will enable you to feel both sides and the paradox making decisions about feelings somewhat difficult.  For example, “How do I REALLY feel?”

We can also realize how dependent we are upon others when the Moon transits here–emotional realizations come to the forefront about how we “can’t do it alone” and how we need others.

Any partnerships that seem to be working can be very satisfying to our feelings of security at this time.  We become more aware of one-on-one relationships too and feel a deeper emotional connection to our traveling companions on our life path.

We will tend to feel the “pathos” of others–feel empathy for others easily.  Recently as the Moon was leaving my 7th house I was overwhelmed with the feeling of empathy for others and made this tweet post:  “Feeling great compassion for the human condition. I want to give ALL in this world a hug!” –that’s a pretty good example of a 7th house lunar transit expressing.

At this time we are more likely than at any other time of the month to be able to feel what it’s like to be the other person–able to see life through the eyes of another.

The Moon is about our ability to “feel” and to respond emotionally.  Realizing what other people ‘are’ and what they ‘are not’ is essential to our happiness and when Luna moves through this area of life experience we get a good feel for that.

We may find also that a 7th house transit helps us ‘clear the air’ in relationships.

Recently I found out that a prior life partner was undergoing a medical procedures of his heart–my X-husband of 20 years and the father of my three daughters.  This is happening just when the Moon is transiting my 7th house this month.  I found myself revisiting our past, our marriage, our good times and bad and certainly feeling emotional on that level.  And certainly right on time in alignment with Luna in my 7th.  (By the way, the cusp of my 7th house is Aquarius and that’s his Sun Sign–and that’s typical or astrologically normal that the cusp of the 7th describes the partners one connects with.)

Also,  I’ve been able to spend quality one-on-one time with each of my family members as the Moon has moved through the 7th house which is another archetype of a 7th house Lunar transit–sometimes we all get so busy this doesn’t happen.  I’m going to track Luna more frequently through my houses and see what may happen consistently.

Some call the 7th house the house of open enemies and I did have a taste of that the other day when something was stolen which brings in that first line about issues of  knowing who to trust that  can crop up with a 7th house transit.

See you in the 8th house.  So far my x-husband is doing well but still undergoes other procedures over the upcoming days.

(By the way, the Moon is FULL now and in Pisces as it moves into my 8th house)


When the Moon Transits the 4th House

Moon in the 4th HouseWhen the Moon transits your 4th house–hang on Snoopy, hang tough.  That was yesterday, for me—the Moon was moving through my 4th house.  I’ve got some perfect examples of this transit for you.  First let me list the typical areas of life that get triggered as a Moon moves through house 4.  Home is the key here and by the way the Moon actually rules this house and that makes this particular transit a strong one—like a double dose of Moon energy.  Decorating the home—any kind of project involving home at all actually would be typical.  Moving furniture, cleaning, and since the 4th house relates to “family”, those ties may be active. Moon rules Cancer and relates to family, nurturing, feelings, emotion, moods, home, soul, the past, ancestors, parents, childhood, self-image, housing, subconscious and midnight (nadir).  This area of the chart is also called the IC…. it’s from Latin —Imum Coeli (Latin for “bottom of the sky”.

Since the 4th house is the “midnight” or lowest point of the chart deep soul or subconscious issues apply here as well.  The ambiance of the home would be highlighted as well…. the mood or atmosphere of the home or where one lives.  [Where one resides and one’s home are not always the same place]

Like house 12, this area of one’s life is another where the soul desire is to withdraw more deeply into a place of safety and security—into one’s self.  Issues with “parents” or “childhood” may be triggered.  The 4th house relates to the foundation of one’s being.

Issues or concerns about housing situations would typically come up at this time of the month more than any other time. It’s also a time when one recalls one’s ancestors and reaching back to connect with them in some way.  Questions of the mind and heart such as, “Who is my family?” and “Where is my home; where do I belong?” would motivate one’s feeling nature.  A double Moon time is an intense “feeling” time.

PERSONAL NOTE:  It was unexpected and at the time I’d forgotten about the Moon and the houses.  I’d been considering moving a portable desk that I wasn’t using and that was taking up too much room in my closet for days—weeks actually.  Finally I got the big awkward thing down the stairs and loaded into the car along with my gear for the YMCA for the workout the followed.   Later in the day I did some reorganizing in that closet and ran the sweeper over the carpet and cleaned the bathroom.   I mention those details because they relate to typical 4th house activities being simulated by a Moon transit as mentioned above.

I drove to the storage unit, raised the door, saw my “stuff” and broke out in unexpected tears followed by overwhelming feelings and thoughts.  “What am I doing with my life? Where am I going to live and when?  Where do I fit in?  Where do I even ‘want’ to live, even if I had all the money in the world?”  All of that was followed by “I can’t believe I’m at this place again with all my stuff in storage.”

I cried even more thinking of how optimistic I was feeling at the time things were loaded in and noted how some of the boxes and belongings has shifted and slid from their neat stacks since the day they were so carefully and confidently placed!  Every emotion that I’d been holding together came undone and I bawled like a baby for goodness sake!

Yep, there it is Moon moving through the 4th house—a perfect example!  And right on time.  The rest of the day it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.  Believe it or not I think I cried while doing laps but the tears, if any, would have blended with the water certainly nobody could see my face anyway.  By the time I was through the 48 laps that I swam, I did feel better.  Exercise always helps@!

I got to bring in a moment of homespun ambiance experienced later that night.  After I got my grandson back from band practice which I stayed to watch since that always cheers me there was door slamming at around 11 PM just as I was trying to let the day go—I live temporarily with my sister and niece.  Somebody was trying to make a point to the other and a good slam of a door is how those two do it around here which I’m sure the neighbors in this building also appreciate!  Yep, Moon moved through my 4th house alright!

Happy that the Moon has now advanced to my 5th house now.  Will be back to blog my way through the 5th house Lunar transit in a day or so.


When the Moon Transits Your 1st House

When The Moon Travels through Your First House

Moon in the First House

Intention:   to blog the Moon through the houses starting with the First House Moon and starting now and to use my chart as an example but being as objective as possible.

So let’s start with the meaning of the Moon itself and recall that it resonates with feelings and emotions and in the sky it changes its amount of visible light through its monthly phase. But for the purpose of the blog for the next 30 days, my plan is to simply discuss the houses.  (We’ll leave Moon phases, signs and aspects out of  it for now.)

For example, if you see your Moon traveling through your second house, a way to work in harmony with the Moon’s energy in order to feel … well, to feel harmonious or  to be in synch with your emotional nature and in order to enhance happiness, those 2 or 3 days of each month would be a good time put your finances in order.

That’s going to be the underlying connection in the psyche’ anyway (2nd house/finances), why not use this knowledge and cooperate with the energy?  During the few days each month that the Moon is moving through your seventh house, for example, you will likely be drawn to giving some quality time to your relationship.  If you know your relationship partner’s chart, you might imagine just how beneficial it would be know when the Moon is moving through their seventh house too!

Timing for scheduling family gatherings, career presentations and many other areas of your life can be enhanced through knowing when the Moon moves through your houses.

Even if you don’t schedule an event or activity based on your Moon transit, you can at least understand your own energy patterns and use the map of your chart to know yourself and other people better.  Of course, that happens with all the planets and the whole chart too.  The Moon is 1 out of 12; but it’s an important one—our feelings of security and happiness are connected to the Moon energy.

I love astrology because there’s no other system like it in which we can reap the benefits of consciously working in cooperation with natural forces! These forces are those that are recognized as we begin to awaken and as we really observe our life.  Astrology is a structure that helps us see the order of those forces. Once realized through astrology, we can get in touch with that energy and work in harmony with it instead of struggling against it, enhancing self-understanding, understanding of others… and well… so many other benefits…but mostly we get those types of jaw-dropping types of realizations that enhance the feeling of magic and awe for the universe and divine forces.

Getting back to the Moon now… I like to think of the Moon as one giant crystal in the sky that affects our emotions, our heart… our soul.

Astrologer, Steven Forrest, is often quoted as saying, “The Sun is the Secret of sanity and the Moon is the Secret of Happiness.”

Happiness is an emotion, after all, and so it’s right up the Moon’s legendary alley.

I won’t spend many more paragraphs describing the Moon’s archetype assuming you wouldn’t have read this far if you didn’t already have at least a small “feel for” the Moon (pardon the pun).

But what about the FIRST HOUSE and when the Moon Moves through it?  How does the Moon moving through the FIRST HOUSE area of our life affect our heart, our soul, our feelings, our security and our happiness?  

I think it’s fair to think of EGO when you think of the first house.  We need our ego’s after all and if we give a few days a month to acknowledge it and appease them, well… that doesn’t seem like too much to ask.  This area of our life relates to the physical body, self-image, physical accomplishments… we’re very aware of how we are seen or viewed when the Moon moves through our firs house. Yet, sometimes we want to keep a mask on and keep people at a distance at this time too and that would be typical.

We’re talking about an outward area of our life, our physical issues including appearance, and instinctual behaviors –the Moon is not about thinking, it’s about responding from the heart, the soul, and the emotional center that is triggered resulting in outward physical behaviors.

When the Moon moves through anyone’s first house (and it does this once a month) it triggers a Mars/Aries warrior within and so there may be  a competitive edge or quality to one’s emotions and an attraction to some type of physical endeavor.  On the other side of the coin repressed anger could surface as the Moon moves through the first house as well.  The paragraph below is optional and not necessary for our purposes but is only for the interested reader.  Feel free to skip over the next paragraph if it sounds confusing:

OPTIONAL PARAGRAPH:  If a person knows the sign on the cusp of that house as well as any other signs in the first house, this gets blended in or factored in with the core Moon and 1st house Combo energy.  Not to mention—but I will—the aspects the Moon makes to other planets  and the phase that the Moon itself happens to be in as it moves through first house.  All that plays into the outward behaviors that are possible due to the Moon’s transit there.  You sort of blend it all into a pot like soup but some chucks are bigger than others but let’s not go there now.   I need to keep things simple for this blog—just the house and the Moon are the main course for my purpose here.

If you know someone who suddenly wants their space and to keep you at a distance and goes suddenly for a “new look” in their physical appearance, Luna may be moving through their first house. New ‘anything’ relates to the first house and so does freedom and independence.

Some things you may want to do when the Moon moves through your first house appearance factors like getting a haircut or a new hairdo or a new outfit—anything that would enhance the appearance to change the self-image would be in line with the energy.  Sometimes we need to feel a sense of freedom and have a desire to be alone—Aries, after all, is about freedom and independence and it rules the first house naturally.

The first house can be like the first hour of the morning or the first few moments—there’s a feeling of fragility as one comes to this point of awakening and you need space.  The spirit here wants unrestrained joy and unrestrained freedom.  If there was a time of the month in which we would be rediscovering ourselves and changing our image to match that new discovery, it would be when the Moon transits the first house.

Relationships feel more strained at this time—other people may not understand this new image you create or that you suddenly need more freedom to discover and express the next new aspect of yourself in the world.

Any needy people in your life are likely to feel disappointed with your energy response to them at this time.

There actually are times when to be free and alone is more important than anything else—that would be a Lunar first house time.

We need this time to consider our own self-image and possibly try those new changes:  a different outfit than you normally wear, new glasses or the new hairdo.

But whether you redress yourself in some way or if it’s only a desire to change the physical appearance, you will likely be asking those questions that go along with that kind of thing such as, “Who am I? And What am I doing here?


 Personal Observations of the First House Moon Transit

  • The Moon crossed over into my first house on my daughter’s birthday and I wore my hair down that day (at least partially).  Just for the record as it relates to this First House Moon transit, I always wear my hair up in a ponytail.  Actually I look different and feel different with the hair down.
  • I purchased a pair of weight lifting gloves (because I was starting to get callouses on my hands from the gym) and while I’m not sure yet how beneficial they are, I notice that this makes me feel more like a more serious exerciser as far as my self-image is concerned.  I didn’t think about that connection until just now–i bought the gloves for practical reasons but I think it relates to my current first house lunar transit.
  •  I made a blog post about who I am and what I’m doing here when the Moon just entered my first house so that may have also been a lunar effect–CLICK TO READ. 
  • I notice that I’ve felt more self-assured as I relate to others these past few days—more than usual which could be part of this whole blend of energy with Mar/Aries being the natural ruler of the first house.
  • The opposite polarity to house 1 is house 7.  House 7 is the house of relationships – the opposite house; so one affects the other due to its opposite polarity.  Relationships over these past few days have definitely changed the way I am seeing other people as well as myself!

If I think of any more personal examples to share that relate to the Moon transiting my first house, I will come back later  to add those to this post.  But what about your personal moon transit?


 Your Personal Moon Transit

I hope this post has sparked an interest in astrology and that you may like to continue reading the posts as I go through the remainder of the Moon’s transits through the 12 houses.   Your Moon may be in different house right now.  You can find out by creating your natal and transit chart on this free chart creation website:  www.astro.com .

You will need your date, time and place of birth.  Once you have that, click on the MY ASTRO link at the top right of the page.  That takes you to a page that has a link next to a star offering you these choices:

Create a horoscope immediately, as a Guest User or…..

Create a free registered user profile

From there you can enter your birth data and then create a transit chart to see what house your Moon is in on any given day!

See you again in a few days when my Moon is in my 2nd house for more on the Transiting Moon though the houses and my personal observations.