This post is about a quick flash of a psychic insight that occurred in the midst of a social situation just yesterday at the gym. It’s been a while since I’ve blogged obviously. Keep berating myself –must be more consistent with blogging. Feeling like there’s nothing to say and ducking back into my hermit cave is no excuse. So here’s something.
Hmmmm. Where to begin? Well, you know how some people seem to put on airs, right? That phrase is used when people act as if they are from a higher class in society. There is a lady that fits this description at the gym. She’s a swimmer and when I, too, was swimming laps we met in the swim lanes and the locker room.
I stopped swimming due to the air quality of the indoor pool and our paths had not crossed for over a year but there she was yesterday waiting for a weightlifting class that I, too, planned to attend. She was discoursing quite authoritatively on the negative aspects of the class–this class that I love! How could she speak with such a demeanor when she’d not frequented any of the classes?
She began to gather listeners and explain how these new classes were of a lesser quality than the ‘old’ classes, asserting some kind of seniority as the expert witness.
Most of the others, including myself, began to scoff since the new strength training/weight lifting class is highly popular. Every class is nearly full! This woman was beginning to make a fool of herself.
Why? Why was she putting on those airs with a ‘sour-grapes’ kind of attitude’?
I could see it clearly the moment my irritation released and compassion substituted. She was nervous about taking the class for the first time and this was her way of making herself feel comfortable enough to be there.
I glanced in her direction several times during the hour-long session. She positioned herself in the back of the room but through the mirrors, it was obvious that she was struggling and not keeping up very well.
Compassion is a good platform for psychic insight.
Mistakes. Learning opportunities — that’s what they are. Negative karmic behaviors sometimes cause us to dump the toxic spills of our own minds onto others–loved ones, friends, etc., and we create oil slicks. If we allow our emotional fires to run rampant, it causes destruction. Compassion and forgiveness put out the fire and is what begins the cleanup and restoration in the emotional aftermath.
Yet, sometimes our own mental corruption is deeply ingrained. Healing deep imprints of karmic, habitual behaviors can be a challenge. It can feel like uprooting one’s very identity!
It is wise to recall that this identity is ego itself.
Lately, I’ve become more aware than ever before of where my energy is focused and what exactly is a good use of that emphasis and why. I have a few thoughts to share about that.
Energy, of course, is better spent on tending to our own gardens and enjoying our own flowers.
Smelling the roses is more worthy an endeavor, even if garbage dumps are around *and there always will be to some extent*. Enjoy the accomplishments of what you have grown and how you are progressing down life’s path–thus speaks my inner guidance.
Meanwhile, compassion and forgiveness make the best traveling companions.
It’s all the time. Coincidence. Synchronicity. And it becomes nearly expected. Life, through those harmonious connections, seems normal, right-on and routine. I didn’t say anything to him about this. After all, he thought astrology was astronomy and got the two words confused and when I explained he wasn’t sure about his own Sun Sign. But then, he was rather young, age 23 I was told the day before by the appointment secretary. [I sometimes find it less intimidating to others when I answer their question about what I do for a living to say am an astrologer (rather than psychic) although I’d claim to be both. ]
He confessed that he’s a loner and doesn’t have all that many friends. Oh, I’m talking about the massage guy. I’m not someone who normally Continue reading →
Carl Jung said that as humans our greatest challenge is to break away from the herd
Boundaries. Those lines we draw around ourselves to maintain balance and to protect our psyche from invasion. Yes, or maybe ‘intrusion’ is a gentler word.
The push of energy that comes from the behavior and the demands of others requires a boundary. That boundary keeps us from being used or manipulated by others and within that boundary we can express our true nature. Personal boundaries allow us to be in the driver’s seat of our own lives.
Without healthy boundaries we sometimes give up a part of our self to be available or accommodating in a way that enables others and causes a loss of self-respect.
We can become so entangled with another person and their needs (co-dependent behavior) that we lose your own identity. This undermines our integrity and leads to a loss of self-respect — and the respect of others around you.
Respecting boundaries. I asked my self today if I honor other people’s boundaries. Do I push myself on others? When I get a hint that a person does not wish to socialize with me, do I continue to insist that they do so? And do I solicit others in passive-aggressive ways to elicit sympathy from others using them to assist me to push boundaries even further?
Sounds like a little bit like the animal–the bull, doesn’t it. But you know how some people keep on antagonizing the other, right? I have a visual. Someone who is like a bull and charges upon others. Wave that red flag in my face one more time and I may, do like the bull, and charge! 🙂
Do people have a fundamental right to set limits and expectations in their life without incurring the judgment of others? I think they do. You know that saying, “You can’t really understand another person’s experience until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.“–??
Can people consider the wishes of others yet still make choices regarding personal boundaries?
People are the way they are. Can we accept that without judging them, trying to manipulate or change them?
I operate from my own truth. You do too. And when we respect other people’s truths, we expect our own truths to be respected in return.
Manipulative people do not understand boundaries. They force themselves into the space of other people’s lives.
Where’s the compassion? Fear is the root of it all, you know? The boundary pushing person has a fear of not being loved, not being good enough, deserving enough. Okay, that’s understood. So then what? Do we let the person keep pushing or what?
Compassion for the boundary pusher and for the one with the boundaries ( both ) is what’s needed here. There is the defensiveness from the one with the boundaries who says, “See what I see, hear what I hear, feel what I feel and then maybe you will understand.” And the other one, in the meanwhile, of course still pushes– the habit of fear being the driving motivation.
“You couldn’t handle half of what I’ve dealt with and don’t understand that there’s a reason that I do what I do”, says the one who has been willing to accept responsibility for their own life and who has developed the self-respect which created the boundary. Victim talk?
Personal boundaries are more than OK–and it doesn’t mean that you are selfish or unkind if you push back when someone pushes yours. Boundaries mean that you have a clear picture of who you are and how you want to live.
In a family dynamic it is always more difficult or better said–complex. Sometimes we have to endure a person for the sake of keeping the relatives happy, right? Or do we? Do we enable dysfunctional behaviors in family members? Or don’t we?
The “herd mystique” and it’s allure
There is a quote from Carl Jung about this being one of the human’s greatest challenges. Fitting in with the group, the herd, the clan–“You are family so you HAVE TO be around me!” Where is that written? Genetic connection or NOT; do we vote with our presence indicating that dysfunctional behavior is acceptable?
On another note, is it our responsibility to straighten other people out in ways that we believe they should ‘act’ according to our own standards of behavior? Whoa! Now that’s one huge judgment if we believe that. Where’s THAT truth? Speak it. Does that sound right if you say it aloud? Best not to push your truth onto others or become a evangelist — that’s a karma creator if there ever was one.
By placing a boundary and living within it, you are living your own truth and being compassionate to yourself and to the other as well. You are also teaching people in your life what self-respect looks like through example.
We have to trust what we know and what we have learned from the work that we have done in our own life via self-analysis, theology, philosophy and spirituality.
This is especially true if we speak about times when our boundaries are pushed and disrespected, especially in a family situation. Those are the most charged with the opportunity for growth and for teaching through example.
People who push boundaries are giving you the opportunity to develop or to teach self-respect. Pushing back is a delicate art. Knowing how to push back against pushy people takes stamina and skill. (Personally, some days I feel too old for it quite honestly.)
Anyway, push-back involves maintaining your own autonomy and self-esteem when you are being invaded. You know that you need to step back and protect yourself, while minimizing any hostility or confrontation. Not easy. People are going to be offended. Sometimes I think pushy people know that and it makes them push all the more–or they enjoy the drama.
People who push boundaries are acting out of fear and desperately trying to fulfill their own needs. Social self-reliance is not really their forte’, their strong suit yet; they’re working on it. We’re all a work in progress.
Self-care means recognizing the importance of your feelings and honoring them and when you set boundaries, this is what you are doing. It’s important.
But we’re “All One”–right?
We’re all one and connected and while this is true, and while we can be compassionate and understanding as we see the ‘bigger picture’ with self and others, we still have to be able to function here and in order to do so we must stay emotionally healthy while maintaining boundaries… all the while doing the relationship dance. Being human isn’t easy.
Being human isn’t easy and being the best human you can be… well, it’s tricky sometimes.
I think the best thing we can do is get out of the judgment with the whole business with boundaries and relationships and being social. I think Jung was right about the “herd mystique”– our greatest challenge being to break away from the herd.
To fully “individuate” is to be able to stop trying to “fit in” and to be comfortable living in your own truth. Separating one’s self from those to whom one does not feel an authentic connection takes courage. The wrath of the clan falls upon you sometimes; that comes along with the territory of being your own person.
There is perceived safety in numbers which is an illusion just as much as any other erroneous belief we hold about living in this dimension. Some people, and maybe I’m one, feel more authentic outside of the herd. Strong boundaries are needed and when threatened, need re-enforcing. Should that be a surprise?
What about karma?
Karma. It’s our intention that creates it. I think that needs to be said as well. To have a boundary does not carry ill intent.
No man is an island onto himself, it is said. We are one; yet, it is ego that separates us or gives a unique history of experiences and thus identity.
Judgment also separates us– i.e. “…you are different” or “… you should behave toward me in one way or another”. It all gets us to work on our human growth and evolution both individually and collectively.
But in the meanwhile, as we do all of that, I like the blackbird way of interacting with their fellow birds. If a bird lands on a nearby branch and is not the mate of that blackbird they do a little nod (a bow) and fly away. Blackbirds are pretty solitary. They are known to establish their territory, fiercely defending it (boundaries) by driving off any of their kind that get close to their vicinity. Boundaries and blackbirds seem to go together.
What’s the bottom line? The ending conclusion? The final thought? The summary? The point? The meaning? I don’t know. I just do hope something here helps someone out in cyber-world as I worked through some thoughts about boundaries today.
Here’s an article about emotional manipulation that I came across shortly after writing the blog above. Some may find this helpful:
When the Moon Transits the 7th house issues of trust can surface, knowing who to trust. We can also be sensitive to the moods of others–it is, after all, the house of others, any others, including but not exclusive to partners. The 7th relates to intimacy and connections with others so at the time of the month that the Moon moves through your 7th house you may take a risk to initiate intimacy on some level. For example, I wrote to a client/friend this week about something very personal which is unusual for me to do (unless I trust them and also know them well). I realize that the connection to Luna in the relationship house supported my doing that.
We can project like crazy and accept the projections of others when the Moon connects in here—this house is ruled by Venus and Libra and they are the queens of projection.
We are going to naturally be seeking harmony and balance with others when the Moon passes here because the Moon in us wants to feel happy and secure and harmony and balance support that serenity,
We may be indecisive about how we feel about things–the Libra quality with the Moon here in the 7th will enable you to feel both sides and the paradox making decisions about feelings somewhat difficult. For example, “How do I REALLY feel?”
We can also realize how dependent we are upon others when the Moon transits here–emotional realizations come to the forefront about how we “can’t do it alone” and how we need others.
Any partnerships that seem to be working can be very satisfying to our feelings of security at this time. We become more aware of one-on-one relationships too and feel a deeper emotional connection to our traveling companions on our life path.
We will tend to feel the “pathos” of others–feel empathy for others easily. Recently as the Moon was leaving my 7th house I was overwhelmed with the feeling of empathy for others and made this tweet post: “Feeling great compassion for the human condition. I want to give ALL in this world a hug!” –that’s a pretty good example of a 7th house lunar transit expressing.
At this time we are more likely than at any other time of the month to be able to feel what it’s like to be the other person–able to see life through the eyes of another.
The Moon is about our ability to “feel” and to respond emotionally. Realizing what other people ‘are’ and what they ‘are not’ is essential to our happiness and when Luna moves through this area of life experience we get a good feel for that.
We may find also that a 7th house transit helps us ‘clear the air’ in relationships.
Recently I found out that a prior life partner was undergoing a medical procedures of his heart–my X-husband of 20 years and the father of my three daughters. This is happening just when the Moon is transiting my 7th house this month. I found myself revisiting our past, our marriage, our good times and bad and certainly feeling emotional on that level. And certainly right on time in alignment with Luna in my 7th. (By the way, the cusp of my 7th house is Aquarius and that’s his Sun Sign–and that’s typical or astrologically normal that the cusp of the 7th describes the partners one connects with.)
Also, I’ve been able to spend quality one-on-one time with each of my family members as the Moon has moved through the 7th house which is another archetype of a 7th house Lunar transit–sometimes we all get so busy this doesn’t happen. I’m going to track Luna more frequently through my houses and see what may happen consistently.
Some call the 7th house the house of open enemies and I did have a taste of that the other day when something was stolen which brings in that first line about issues of knowing who to trust that can crop up with a 7th house transit.
See you in the 8th house. So far my x-husband is doing well but still undergoes other procedures over the upcoming days.
(By the way, the Moon is FULL now and in Pisces as it moves into my 8th house)
Karmic imprints. They accumulate and are latent in ground consciousness or base mind.
This area of psyche gathers up or collects (through the many layers of it’s nature) all the karmic latencies that are gathered over eons of lifetimes.
And the responses to those tendencies create more imprints and here in this reality, on the earth, they are able to be stimulated.
I used to think that we were completely in control of moods via our thoughts–and while that is partially true, the karmic imprints that settle into consciousness awaken in us as experiences of suffering or experiences of happiness which sometimes are seemingly out of our control. I’ve been thinking about karmic latency and habitual tendencies. Do we say something like, ‘Oh that’s just how I am an I can’t help that‘ or what? Just how does it all work anyway? These thoughts that follow are influenced by Buddhist views by the way and they make perfect sense (to me).
Positive or negative karma ,it is said, does not always immediately express itself. These karmic latencies resting within ground consciousness can arise later, even in future lifetimes.
Sometimes I can correlate karmic events to the Nodes of the Moon (North Node, South Node) in an astrology chart–imprints remain in ground consciousness to ripen under the appropriate circumstances. And we can correlate that to aspects to the birth Nodes and the transiting Lunar Nodes. Anyway…
Negative and positive qualities increase due to habitual patterns–if a person tends to be angry again and again then becomes habituated to anger, it creates an increase of anger-latency in the mind. The same is true with positive qualities such as love and compassion. These qualities (either positive or negative) creates the foundation for the mind–ground consciousness. Even in remembering some experience of the past, the remembering of it strengthens the latency.
For these reasons, we should be ever-aware and mindful–otherwise our disturbing emotions gradually increase from day-to-day and lifetime-to-lifetime.
We can create mindfulness latencies in the ground conspicuousness (habitual pattern of mindfulness).
Through meditation we can create positive latencies of love, wisdom and compassion which does overcome negative imprints when meditation is increased to focus on that love, wisdom and compassion.
We are born with a particular proclivities or latent tendencies developed in previous lifetimes. We see this within seconds, minutes, hours of a baby’s birth. Not all babies have the same newborn tendencies—some are restless, some are peaceful, etc. Some children are naturally very kind due to positive latencies developed and imprinted in previous lifetimes into their ground consciousness. Other children are very aggressive due to their own latent tendencies.
Some people are unable to deny themselves their desires and cannot say no to themselves–others can deny themselves but have difficulty saying no to others. Yet, we can change through cultivation of mindfulness or being aware of our tendencies and developing positive virtues where needed.
It seems like another lifetime ago when I asked higher mind/spirit guides [_____ fill in your own preferred word (s) here] a question. (Divination)
I really wanted to know why we were here and what we’re doing here and what the whole bottom-line point to our lives here were about.
And I was told that we are here to develop virtue. And now, many years later, I see how true that answer was; although at the time I wasn’t satisfied with it.
With the correct understanding and with mindfulness in life and developing good qualities through meditation we will be able to develop new latencies, new habitual patterns, new tendencies.
Is that easy? Is being mindful and conscious of our latent habitual tendencies at all times easy? It’s as easy as that — or as difficult. It depends on us.
We can develop positive or negative tendencies throughout life! They come and they go depending upon our own awareness and contribution to the habitual patterns.
Our experience of happiness is based upon ground consciousness no matter which realm we are in. Creating karmic imprints in the present reality results in experiencing their results in the future.
Just like a child who goes to school and studies hard creates an imprint in the mind that allows the child to later on do something with the imprint like become a teacher or a doctor. If there was no type of imprint to start with (no schooling, no education) there would be no possibility of becoming the teacher in the future.
Well, this is all I have time to write on the topic for the moment. I hope some of these words will find their way to the right person at the right time out there in cyber world and in doing so be helpful to that other.
Word from the Heart Sutra which holds my life together.
Here I go again–using this blog to sort out my personal life. Therapy for an “off” day here and there I suppose. Maybe that’s it. Write it out and it is released. Not energized further. No. Released, that’s all–sorted out and seen for the silliness that it is, the illusion that it is. Maybe this post could be called something like ‘The Life of a Psychic’ or some such.
BLOG INTENTION, ASPIRATION: Yeah, but in the spirit of Tonglen, knowing others out there feel this way from time to time or there are those who know this feeling right now just as I do. Hello to you and may this feeling for us all and package it up and see us all being free of it, having compassion for you and for all those who feel a bit disoriented or perhaps are also in the midst of a move… whatever it is you are experiencing may we know that we are not alone… there are always many others who also go through this and may we all be relieved of this suffering or uncomfortable feelings such as they are… and may we all come to contentment and peace and may I be part of that process through my love and compassion for us all as we move through uncertain times. May this blog in some way be helpful to you.
Here it is, this feeling I’m sorting out or trying to heal. And the internal feeling comes from attachment to STUFF, yeah, form appearances–things. Actual material things. I told you this is silliness being sorted out here! I already feel better really looking at this using some logic and intellect to soothe the …. well, the what?
Beyond what words can show, it is. How about a picture to describe it? A bit like the scarecrow from the story ‘The Wizard of OZ’. That scene where parts of him were over here and over there and some he didn’t know where!
No, I’m not falling apart but rather I am realizing this whole Buddhist thing about the non-self and yeah, attachment too. How can part of me be in a storage unit (we took a lot of boxes and things, forms) and loaded them in the vehicles and unloaded them into a storage unit. As I tried to fall asleep last night I kept flashing on the dark rainy rows of storage structures and the number on my own with the lock and my things inside. Yeah, it felt like parts of me were there, haunting my ‘things’ in some way.
Another part of me was hanging around my sister’s apartment, haven spend some hours at her place over the weekend helping her clean and pack. Yet still, another aspect of consciousness was hanging around the new apartment that we’re going to that is getting updated appliances, new carpet, paint and so forth–do I really belong there? Where is my place when I also see flashes of the last few things leaving this apartment unit. I’m all over the place! Like I said, silliness in the life of a psychic.
I’m feeling a wee little bit like crying (its mild), but have no real down-home authentic reason but for the fact that I’m feeling homeless and even without a self, more like a floating spirit neither here, nor there, everywhere and nowhere. And the Buddhist teachings speak of emptiness in view of it holding form and formlessness such that everything is actually non-real as if it were a Moon’s reflection in the water.
I think again of that song of enlightenment, “All these form, appearance emptiness; like a rainbow with a shining glow…”
And one of the other lines is “Just let go, and go where no-mind goes.”
I guess I’m having to do that a bit as I feel pulled in many directions like taffy. Pulled, stretched, thinning out…. and definitely no place to ground. The lessons of impermanence and non-self and forms being emptiness by appearing just the same… these are all being re-enforced within me.
At the same time, it feels like my solar plexus is torn a bit. Here I am looking at an application, another one, for an apartment that I applied for on April 2nd and last week I found out my application was nowhere to be found. I now have to fill out a new one!
Meanwhile, I am trying to visualize how I will fit all my necessary “stuff” into the master bedroom of the apartment that I’m sharing with my sister and her daughter, a teenager! I feel grateful to have a place to go.
GRATITUDE: I CAN DO this, of course I can and am so grateful to have some shelter so that I’m free to go without having to break a lease just as soon as I get a call from one of the many places upon which my name is on the list.
And so the story goes. Maybe I feel a bit better for writing it out? My tummy is still topsey-turvey but I’m telling myself to enjoy the experience such that it is. I’d better get that application filled out (another form—“all these forms”— and anyway get it resubmitted. Forms are only emptiness.
Sometimes Life Itself is like this photo: Dense Fog! And we can’t quite see what’s around the curve of Life and let’s face it, life is curvy. The guitar dude downstairs neighbor may agree with that one based on his behavior this morning. He’s slammed the door beneath me four times and screamed from the area of the parking lot, “You’re f____ing kidding me!!” All on an otherwise very quiet Sunday morning! Chances are he’d agree that life is curvy right now! LOL
Cha- cha- cha- chaaa-changes!! As for me, it’s a little bit foggy but I did see our new apartment yesterday, being able to look upstairs at what will be my monastic cell. Could be worse. Not sure how this is all going to go since now the move date is in question, at least my own half of it. I may be looking at boxes for a month longer than I originally thought since the only girl left in the office (the other two quit) can’t get an answer from the big boss regarding my particular apartment’s lease. Geesh!
I’m looking hither, thither and yon trying to determine how the furniture is going to be in my room and have fingers, toes, and everything crossed that they can get the horrid smell out of the place before we get in. Previous tenants had some real issues! Yuck.
Yeah, foggy. I don’t know how long I’ll have to be there before another place opens and with each box I pack, I wonder if its contents should go to storage or the garage sale/Goodwill pile. Ahh, but it could be so much worse indeed! At least there is someplace to go besides the street with a shopping cart! Actually, I’m sort of getting ‘into’ the fog lately finding the humor in it while I sing the Buddhist song about form, appearance and emptiness! That’s a song of enlightenment and always calms me and soothes me and restores happiness [lyrics below].
Meanwhile, I know the sun will shine again and all will be temporarily organized again even though there’s chaos now. Then we have the next move after this one to who knows where for certain; although I have a pretty good idea (being psychic and all).
Empty forms like a rainbow with a shining glow! — I try to hum this tune as I load the boxes.
Better go feeD my daughter’s cats now! Today’s my last day of cat duty–that drive down the Interstate is way too exciting for my taste but shouldn’t be bad today being that it’s Sunday. Good excuse to get away from the wailing guitar guys anger as he gives me opportunities to practice patience over and over as he slams the door yet again! Wow, bad morning dude?
The wall shakes when the door slams… more Bodhisattva practice for me!! thanks dude!
Oh yeah, the Buddhist song…. the words….
It goes like this:
All these forms, appearance emptiness
Like a rainbow with it’s shining glow
In the reaches of of appearance emptiness
Just let go and go where no mind goes
Every sound is sound and emptiness
Like the sound of an echo’s roll
In the reaches of sound and emptiness
Just let go and go where no mind goes
Every feeling is bliss and emptiness
Way beyond what words can show
In the reaches of bliss and emptiness
Just let go and go where no mind goes
All awareness, awareness emptiness
Way beyond what thoughts can know
In the reaches of awareness emptiness
Let awareness go, OH, where no mind goes!
Bodhisattva Practice #18 on Discouragement and Compassion (from the 37 practices of a Bodhisattva): “… without discouragement take on the misdeeds and pain of all living beings.”