I have NOT stopped believing in our connections to other realities and the world of spirit containing spirit guides and/or deceased relatives. YET, at the same time as making that statement, it is clear to me that I don’t “go there” so much these days–at least not for myself anyway. Why? I ask myself this very question and hope this bit of writing will help sort it out.
Maybe it is because the clear advantage of being spiritually responsible for my own evolution in the here and now (which happens to be planet earth in this body/soul/consciousness) is my primary focus these days. And I’m aging (like everyone is!) and as I get closer to the possibility of the ending of this form, this physical body, priorities change.
Maybe this happens to everyone and not just me — this I cannot say. I haven’t taken a survey nor is there any interest on my part in doing so. What has happened for me anyway is that I’m much more aware of what I’m supposed to do here — and one biggie has to do with remaining in a state of peace despite emotional challenges. Can my departed parents or a spiritual entity in another dimension do this for me? Spiritual evolution is personal — not that we can’t receive assistance when heartfelt and earnest request is made; but I’m here and while my parents and guides, et. al. are near and dear, I alone make the determined choice and effort to manage my own psyche with both feet on Mother Earth, here and now.
The last two words are key in what I’m attempting to express. Here: Earth Dimension Now: As I sit at my desk, in front of this keyboard in my living room. It will do me no good to go talking to my deceased parents or a spirit entity right at this moment–in fact, it feels somewhat like co-dependent escapism to some extent to do so.
Now, this doesn’t mean that I don’t believe loved ones can communicate with us here upon Earth through someone who is open and receptive. Yet, I think of it this way — my parents or spirit guides cannot live in this body with me and actually if I’m not careful, their communication can become (if my focus is off) a huge distraction.
That said. I’m aware that we are all at different points of consciousness evolution — none better than another. To be clear, I’m not expressing that one person’s evolution in one direction is more or less advanced than another’s. One thing that Soul Astrology has taught me is that we are all on particular paths with different karmic pasts. Like snowflakes, we are all alike yet so very different, unique.
I am able to (somehow and I don’t know precisely how) connect in with the energy of persons, places and things whether here on Earth or elsewhere — most of the time if the need is great enough and I am clear enough at any give time. Intention and compassion on my part to help another enables the clarity. Yet, it has become a lesser focus and direct mission in my life.
Rather, my own heart is drawn in other directions — more specifically in taking personal responsibility for my own energy and evolution. This is a bit difficult to express and I am using this blog post to sort it out as I said.
Maybe I feel that I’ve exhausted that direction or gone as far down the path of psychic and medium types of personal seeking and have doubled back now to the main path — something like this anyway.
Once we discover a truth, there is no need to keep on; it becomes redundant. In another way of saying that and being very, very blunt (but not unfeeling) about it, it becomes like this: So what? Our loved ones remain with us and can communicate and entities from other dimension exist and also communicate–all in helpful ways at times. So what? And while I realize that I am not really a separate entity apart from ‘All That Is’ and that in essence, this person (personality) called ‘me’ and this physical body doesn’t really exist apart from everything else on an ultimate level, they do conventionally. Non-self is a helpful view to have while maintaining a conventional view in balance. We exist, yet we don’t — if you will.
The question then becomes something having to do with questioning why conventionality exists in the first place and why challenges and difficulties exist here on Earth and what we do about them — are we to escape and ignore them or do we use them to help ourselves and others evolve in such ways that spiritual responsibility is taken for growth and evolution? And how do we use the body and the mind-consciousness in such ways that enable us to realize a greater truth? What truth? Remaining in the ‘Here and Now’ while achieving and arriving at the Field of Peace while in this physical body/mind. When one compares that goal to one that has already been reached which involves talking to the deceased loved ones or spiritual entities or guides . . . well, you see my point maybe?
In the end, through divination what are the angels and guides guiding us toward but back into our own self while understanding the non-self so that we can function in a peaceful way upon the Earth–that’s what it’s about for me now. And while we are here helping others to do the same perhaps through example or maybe even through something like this rather long laborious blog post, its what we’re here to do. Here and now.
Both men and women have a fathering function symbolized by Saturn. The Moon symbolizes the maternal function, as well as Ceres. The asteroid centers in my psyche are perhaps newly energized or activated in that I’ve been thinking (and writing) about the goddesses Juno, Pallas and Vesta. Today, I am turning toward Ceres so see what I can learn about this energy as it applies to my life and to incorporate some knowledge. That, then, is the point or focus of this post today. Ceres.
Here’s one archetype of Ceres (AKA Demetris drawn from the mythology of Persephone, her missing daughter take by Pluto). Parent-child complexes are associated with Ceres. C.G. Jung wrote, “Every mother contains her daughter in herself and every daughter her mother; every woman extends backward into her mother and forward into her daughter.” On a practical level, in a horoscope, the location of Ceres points to information about the mothering function especially with regard to issues of attachment and freedom.
According to mythology, Ceres was unwilling to allow Persephone to have freedom of choice and it is said that Persephone was overly attached to her mother. Therefore, natural as well as un-natural nurturing are archetypes of Ceres. The House and Sign of Ceres in a natal chart can indicate how we feel about nurturing and maybe even how we nurture ourselves.
As with all planets in a chart, aspects to those points modify them a great deal; therefore in a chart, one must look to the connections Ceres is making to other parts of the psyche.
I’m going to look at my own Ceres in my birth chart now to see what I can determine in my effort to expand this center in my consciousness. My Ceres is in my 9th house, in Taurus, retrograde squaring Mars and Pluto and opposing Venus and Mercury. That’s a mouthful.
Ceres-Pluto aspects relate to the comings and goings and sharing of children. That makes sense in correlation to mythology since Pluto abducted Cere’s daughter Persephone. My life has included a divorce and the sharing of our three daughters—I can see how that particular aspect would fit me personally.
Ceres, in my natal chart, (9th house/Taurus) carries the signature of nurturing through the Earth (nature) and the physical body (in my case, exercise). Taurus is a sign that relates to (Taurus rules 2nd house) of self-worth and self-reliance; therefore, when I provide materially and physically for myself, a high degree of self-acceptance is my reward. As a side piece to this, Aries is on the cusp of my 9th house and Ceres squares it’s ruler Mars which adds that physical exercise piece – the more aggressive the exercise, the more I like it. These are qualities (via aspects, house, and sign) that modify the meaning of my natal Ceres. Much more could be said but that’s what jumps out at this moment.
The Mar/Aries piece of it relates to feeling free and independent feeds my psyche in a positive way and Ceres is expressing that in my chart.
The 9th house, where my natal Ceres is located, relates not only to freedom but the pursuit of knowledge and truth. The deep feeling of accuracy there is also expansive—it is so very true that study of philosophy and spiritual truths are like a divine mother nurturing me!
Now my intention is to address the oppositions to Ceres from Venus and Mercury in my natal chart. These are oppositional, of course naturally are located in my 3rd house of communication. (For new astrologers, we come to this as 3 opposes 9 in the house system).
Mercury rules the 3rd house and is therefore strong here. (Mercury is in Scorpio and Venus is at 29° Libra). Just a bottom line interpretation here includes this: the nurturing of others through communication that is harmonious while also ‘soul-deep’. This is my work, my profession as a psychic. And it is how (I hope) that I nurture others and when being paid for my services expands the possibility of being able to be self-reliant via being nurtured in return).
Just as a final note about the opposition aspect energy: I see the opposition aspect as energy that merges with one another rather than pulling apart or opposing in a negative way. That’s how I’d like to see the energy that is an opposition aspect in a chart and often attend to the more positive slant on life in other ways, too, when possible.
Just a mini-vent here. In astrology (and what gives it a label of inaccuracy at times) is when one attempts to single out one planet in one sign in one house and make a single determination of meaning. One must take in the entire chart as a whole into consideration, otherwise, it can be so very misleading and confusing. –End Vent
This is much more than was intended to write on Ceres today. I have a client in a few moments and must end this now.
I hope if you have an interest in the Goddess Ceres, that this post was in some way helpful to you.
New Moon times. Could these be times in which the door to the psyche is open for us to enter and redirect our play just a little bit–at least emotionally? And is it a time for us to create and debate and elevate as well as fixate about our emotional nature? New Moon times could be the most important part of our creative nature since it sets the tone for how we interpret the world. Each month the dye is cast so-to-speak by our response to life at the New Moon time. If we could mark the time and be aware of it, we could control the nature of the dye we cast for the upcoming 28’ish to 30-day lunar cycle.
If you happen to know the house that the New Moon is in (for you), you can derive more insight from the vibes but even if you don’t know that information, it’s still beneficial to open to setting a new tone for your emotional responses to life. (If you should happen to know what house 0° Aquarius falls in your natal chart, this will give you an idea for the areas of your life that will be activated and in what life categories the potential for renewal will be natural and beneficial to cast your emotional die for the next 30-day cycle. But even if you do not know which house your 0° Aquarius is located, you can still benefit from simply knowing the sign itself.
So we have a New Moon in Aquarius! This sign rules the 11th house of hopes, dreams and also carries a humanitarian and “friends” as general meaning archetypes. Innovative thinking is part of the Aquarius vibe as well as freedom seeking qualities being a part of this energy. In evolutionary soul astrology, it also links with “the wound” of the past lives.
So in any of those ways we can cast the dye for this next month–changing our emotional responses to life in those areas.
(Again, if you know the house of your natal chart that holds 0° Aquarius, you can factor in that information as well.)
I just had a brilliant idea! (Now that’s the stuff that Aquarius is made of actually–brilliant ideas.) Anyway, why not draw a few tarot cards to add insight to the Aquarius New Moon meaning here? Why not? It’s my blog and I can do what I want!–that last sentence (too) is very ‘Aquarian’ in nature. 🙂
Let me first reiterate that a New Moon relates to heightened sensitivity to a particular energy for the purpose of casting new dye for the purpose of renewing the potential of that part of your psyche. Using emotion to rededicate yourself in some way–that’s another way to say it. We can toss in “desire nature” as well here in that what we desire usually has a rather significant emotional derivative so using that energy to create something new in our lives.
Let me draw two cards now to help us to know more about this month’s New Moon in Aquarius, asking how we can best use this time for our highest benefit and therefore highest benefit of all. I’m going to use the Hanson-Roberts tarot deck for this one; here we go. (By the way, I love the images on this deck and the cards are small and fit nicely in my hands during the shuffle. This is a deck that I used to program meanings from the divinitory method using my own memories.)
I drew THE CHARIOT and QUEEN OF CUPS.
Well, first impression: male image/female image so a hint at balance confirmed by the yin and yang on the Chariot. All those stars on the Chariot card really do remind me of the sign of Aquarius and now the Cup the Queen holds, definitely relates to emotions (cups equal emotion in the tarot system).
The Chariot also speaks of using one’s will, directing one’s energy and being determined; it is also about practice and practice making perfect. Practicing what? The Queen holds that answer–understanding your emotional reactions. Satisfaction comes from practicing using one’s will to understand emotional responses and to keep on that path and exerting control in some way to achieve a goal.
Sometimes we let our emotions spin out of control. Yet, these cards speak of the suggestion that this New Moon cycle the directive is about making it a goal to control emotions so that they do not spin out, causing us to break down, go off our intended path and by failing to maintain our balance and by neglecting to keep the positive/negative pull of our nature (yin/yang) under control.
I think of the Queen of Cups always as it relates to intuition and also empathy/compassion — those energies, too, need to be balanced so that emotions don’t spin out.
The Queen sits by an ocean and this hints, to me, that water can help in our endeavors this month and if there is a goal that you believe you’d like to reach regarding water in any way, this New Moon in Aquarius would support that. Many people feel very “at peace” near water or even in water. Aquarius, after all, is the “water bearer” (despite it being an ‘air’ sign. The Chariot does relate to the Sign of Cancer and Cancer is ruled by the Moon and Moon energy always relates to water.
So on all levels I do get that a message for this New Moon time relates to emotion and the goal of harnessing those in some way that relates to Aquarius energy — friends, hopes, dreams, humanitarian causes, group energy or perhaps it relates to a person with the Sun sign Aquarius with the understanding that the Sun and Moon are neck-in-neck right along side one another at the same degree when there’s a New Moon.
Give it another go here–what I mean is to consider reading this post over again with what your intuition tells you Aquarius means to you! Cast the dye consciously.
Final thought: is there a way that you can balance emotions for a new cause, a new reason in this new lunar phase?
When the Moon transits your 4th house–hang on Snoopy, hang tough. That was yesterday, for me—the Moon was moving through my 4th house. I’ve got some perfect examples of this transit for you. First let me list the typical areas of life that get triggered as a Moon moves through house 4. Home is the key here and by the way the Moon actually rules this house and that makes this particular transit a strong one—like a double dose of Moon energy. Decorating the home—any kind of project involving home at all actually would be typical. Moving furniture, cleaning, and since the 4th house relates to “family”, those ties may be active. Moon rules Cancer and relates to family, nurturing, feelings, emotion, moods, home, soul, the past, ancestors, parents, childhood, self-image, housing, subconscious and midnight (nadir). This area of the chart is also called the IC…. it’s from Latin —Imum Coeli (Latin for “bottom of the sky”.
Since the 4th house is the “midnight” or lowest point of the chart deep soul or subconscious issues apply here as well. The ambiance of the home would be highlighted as well…. the mood or atmosphere of the home or where one lives. [Where one resides and one’s home are not always the same place]
Like house 12, this area of one’s life is another where the soul desire is to withdraw more deeply into a place of safety and security—into one’s self. Issues with “parents” or “childhood” may be triggered. The 4th house relates to the foundation of one’s being.
Issues or concerns about housing situations would typically come up at this time of the month more than any other time. It’s also a time when one recalls one’s ancestors and reaching back to connect with them in some way. Questions of the mind and heart such as, “Who is my family?” and “Where is my home; where do I belong?” would motivate one’s feeling nature. A double Moon time is an intense “feeling” time.
PERSONAL NOTE: It was unexpected and at the time I’d forgotten about the Moon and the houses. I’d been considering moving a portable desk that I wasn’t using and that was taking up too much room in my closet for days—weeks actually. Finally I got the big awkward thing down the stairs and loaded into the car along with my gear for the YMCA for the workout the followed. Later in the day I did some reorganizing in that closet and ran the sweeper over the carpet and cleaned the bathroom. I mention those details because they relate to typical 4th house activities being simulated by a Moon transit as mentioned above.
I drove to the storage unit, raised the door, saw my “stuff” and broke out in unexpected tears followed by overwhelming feelings and thoughts. “What am I doing with my life? Where am I going to live and when? Where do I fit in? Where do I even ‘want’ to live, even if I had all the money in the world?” All of that was followed by “I can’t believe I’m at this place again with all my stuff in storage.”
I cried even more thinking of how optimistic I was feeling at the time things were loaded in and noted how some of the boxes and belongings has shifted and slid from their neat stacks since the day they were so carefully and confidently placed! Every emotion that I’d been holding together came undone and I bawled like a baby for goodness sake!
Yep, there it is Moon moving through the 4th house—a perfect example! And right on time. The rest of the day it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. Believe it or not I think I cried while doing laps but the tears, if any, would have blended with the water certainly nobody could see my face anyway. By the time I was through the 48 laps that I swam, I did feel better. Exercise always helps@!
I got to bring in a moment of homespun ambiance experienced later that night. After I got my grandson back from band practice which I stayed to watch since that always cheers me there was door slamming at around 11 PM just as I was trying to let the day go—I live temporarily with my sister and niece. Somebody was trying to make a point to the other and a good slam of a door is how those two do it around here which I’m sure the neighbors in this building also appreciate! Yep, Moon moved through my 4th house alright!
Happy that the Moon has now advanced to my 5th house now. Will be back to blog my way through the 5th house Lunar transit in a day or so.
Difficulties and Tensions Happen to Spiritual People and the Truth about the Number 11! Spiritual Flaccidity and May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor
Maybe it’s the Aquarius or Uranus part of me, but I’ve always gone the opposite way of the crowd. And in this instance I’m talking about the crowd that thinks or believes that if you have a difficulty in life or tension in any way that you’re doing something spiritually wrong! Natural Law, you know? Nature as an example: the flower, in order to grow, requires the resistance of the earth to push against in order to find the light, the Sun. Of course, how often do we hear of the other example of the lotus pushing up from the mud to symbolize our life on earth—without the mud the lotus couldn’t grow!
Tension! There’s been a lot of that this year so far but this is (for me) and 11 year after all – numerology. Anyway, the soul needs the tension, the strain, the stress, the pull within caused by life on Earth for growth and development just as flowers need rocks in their soil against which to push in order to reach the sun. If we avoid tension at all costs—the way that the spiritually elite white-lighter population does—we become flaccid of spirit! And live in yet another delusional state!
We seem to learn and to grow though tension: maybe that’s what an 11 personal year is all about. Does the tension and stress of earth living keep the spirit from going flaccid or getting fat and flabby? Don’t we have to keep in shape (even spiritually)? And so don’t we need challenges or some sort of oppositional energy (Ha! Thinking in astrological language now) in order to draw us out of our otherwise sleepy white-light delusional haze? I’m just asking, contemplating—that’s an 11 year thing. The word “tension”, interestingly enough, is used in describing the vibration of the number 11; Google it, you’ll see. Other “T” words associated with the 11 vibration are these: trials and tests. Surprised? If so then you might be a white-lighter in need of some 11 “T” vibe reality.
I mentioned at the start of this post the Uranus/Aquarius aspect of psyche and guess what the number 11 is associated with in astrological terms? Yeah, Uranus/Aquarius is the answer. And in soul astrology when we look in a chart to find where the soul has experienced trauma or wounding, we usually have our eye scanning for the location of Uranus and what where Aquarius is located. Anyway…
Any trauma or crisis creates divine possibility and probability for spiritual growth—right? We can’t have a flaccid soul or spirit now, can we?
Like I was saying, we need that tension in order to grow—or so the theory goes. Tension is the key to growth; we learn through tension and we exist through tension here on Earth. Tension creates that oppositional energy that pulls our lotus-flower-self right up out of the mud! Light does that, sun does that and who says that the light or the sun (the 11 energy) doesn’t come right along with exactly what we need to grow, including crisis and all those T words mentioned earlier? I’m just sayen’—just contemplating the idea of the necessity of opposition, of the right amount of necessary tension to shape our souls, our hearts, our minds, and our spiritual journey here.
Take the Yin-Yang; within the light there is darkness and vice versa. And as the white-light crowd goes one way seeking spiritual flaccidity and I go the other contemplating the necessity for oppositional tension, life goes on as it will despite our theories. Are our experiences in life on Earth all about haphazard odds? Or is there a divine force of intelligence guiding those odds? As they say in the book and movie The Hunger Games, “May the odds be ever in your favor!”
Meanwhile, if any of those T words are part of your experience (tensions, trials, tests, and trauma), don’t immediately jump to the conclusions that those white-lighter’s push about creating your reality and positive thinking and all the rest of that. You don’t need a crash course in the Law of Attraction (gimmie’ a break!) and you don’t need to escape into the white-lighter nihilistic delusion either. Simply realize the true 11:11 vibrational message: there needs to be balance, yin/yang and avoid the flaccid spiritual extremes.
White and black are the colors of the numbers of 11 which is reminiscent of the yin/yang symbol—two sets of opposites, the world of duality—light in the darkness and darkness in the light.
The number 11 represents challenges; do people know this?
Here’s something I found online [http://www.professionalnumerology.com/chaldeansystem.html] about the number 11: This is an ominous number to occultists. It gives warning of hidden dangers, trial, and treachery from others. It has a symbol of a “Clenched Hand”, and “a Lion Muzzled”, and of a person who will have great difficulties to contend against. [Based on Chaldean numerology]
My greater point is that great difficulties happen even though we wish that “the odds be ever in your [our own] favor” … despite that, sometimes struggle, strain and striving happens and like the flower pushing against the rock and soil or mud, that’s how we grow. Don’t let those white-lighters make you feel bad – it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong! It’s only life on earth; it’s soul growth and maybe it’s the odds! 😉
I just remembered a few things. First, I’ve not been blogging regularly and with this recollection, I (once again) vow to be more consistent. Secondly, what ever happened to the 37 Verses of the Bodhisattva that I said that I was going to start doing? Opps, see all of the above; it’s an 11 year! However, with the above in mind, I did draw a verse number out of the basket here to add to rectify my delinquency. I drew vow #23 which has to do with attachment and impermanence. It talks about not holding on to anything — yin or yang, light or dark and those rainbows in life and not being attached to anything. What do you think about how this verse applies to what I’ve written in this post? Here it is:
When you encounter attractive objects,
Though they seem beautiful
Like a rainbow in summer, do not regard them as real,
Like everything mental, the so-called ‘law of causation’ contradicts itself (says Nisargadatta). He adds, “No thing in existence has a particular cause–the entire universe contributes to the existence of even the smallest thing; nothing could be as it is without the universe being what it is.” In this response to a question Nesargadatta is taking time out of the equation which the ego-mind attaches to but the universe functions outside of the law of causation because causation means succession of space time events that are physical or mental and all that has to do with “mind”. The universe is not bound by its content– everything is an expression of the totality of causes.
As the couple from India in the apartment below me showed up, so did a used book that I’d forgotten I ordered on a teacher (interestingly enough) also from India—Nisargadatta! For decades now my ears have taken in that name spoken by Dr. Wayne Dyer who would often quote him in his lectures. The noise and smells below me were too much India for me and the book sat beneath a pile of others, intentionally buried! After a few gatherings of Indian people for weekend parties below me, it was as if I was THERE—bad enough my sleep and meditations have been disturbed. Teacher or not–a book written by someone having anything to do with India seemed like something that would throw me way over the edge. I’d been on India overdose!
But I think I really like Nisargadatta now that I’ve cracked the book. He has essentially validated some of my own insights regarding what happens being just life and even my life being just life and all of it just being energy playing out—no need to take any of it personally!
Between this teacher and few others (via books), I’m also realizing that we humans take our preferences and pains from past memories and call that ME, identifying ourselves based on our memories. Case in point—the Indian couple (who are just being themselves) have loud voices which I’m now realizing as I look around this community many do talk very loud—trigger within me memories of my parents fighting when I was a child. Yes, before you ask the Indian couple fights—doors slam and fighting is fighting no matter what language it’s in; so there’s no mistaken it. Again, it could totally be a cultural thing but all that aside, I find myself bracing in my stomach and jaw when they come in to their apartment (yes, I can hear them) and many times I look for excuses not to come home when I know they’re home—just like as a child I’d not want to go home to hear my parents fighting. I’d get sick to my stomach and beg my grandmother to let me stay with her so I didn’t have to go home. All this is memory that I over-identify with as ‘me’—this is what I’m realizing or remembering. The I AM of ‘me’ doesn’t have anything to do with any of that! And that is what Nasargadatta is explaining in the book that I’m reading!
I knew that, I lived that and figured it out on my own but forgot it. Even my longing to go home to the mountains is really just a memory that I’m overly attached to and too identified with which is causing additional unnecessary suffering.
We are not our memories! Good ones (the serenity of the mountains, the silence) or the bad ones (people yelling and fighting) or even the current events or happenings—it is all just energy playing out and the universe doing what it does and we are part of it in this moment but don’t need to over identify with the memories of the past or the apprehensions of the future.
That is true liberation. The challenges of course are to recall this and be in this realization; and remain in that awareness when those memories that we mistake for a ‘me’ are triggered. That’s my work now or at least part of it.
It is said that we are slaves to what we do not know. And of what we do know we are masters. When we discover something within ourselves like this and when we strive to understand it and understand its causes and its workings, we can potentially overcome it by the very knowing—the unconscious dissolves when brought to the conscious.
Then we can become quiet again—serene, at peace.
By the way, I am also reading Songyal Rinpoche’s Tibetan Book of the Living and the Dying. I read the huge long thick tedious version a few decades ago when I was a physical therapist. It was on the required reading list to become a hospice worker. I did my own survey over the years asking every hospice worker I’d met if they read this book that is required to be read (according to the hospice paperwork I came across) and not a one of them had read it!
Now it’s time for me to do my own writing while everything is quiet here—at least in between clients and my other work. It’s time for me to return to writing my astrology course. Meanwhile, the message for the day is not to take your self too personally; like Nisargadatta reminds me through his book, every thing and every one is the energy of the universe working itself out. Consciousness is one thing but AWARENESS is beyond that and the earth/ego realms and in awareness we realize this liberating truth!
These reminders and realizations and the memory releases are part of the transiting North Node of the Moon merging with my natal South Node (4th house Scorpio)– conjunct now within one degree. Somehow the recent broken bone in my foot is part of the mini-awakening here and a message to get back in the body and stay centered in the present moment! There has been so much change since last June! As a psychic/intuitive, I could feel the change coming but frankly did not foresee how the reversed lunar nodal returns would play out! ( The nodes were in an exact conjunction 2 days after I broke–in 2 places– a bone in my foot. Two days before the exact conjunction is “close enough in horse shoes and hand grenades”, as the saying goes.)
For any astrologers out there who may wonder how a reversed lunar nodal return would play out in the 4th house, I also left my home in the mountains to move closer to my children in order to help them which is how I ended up in an apartment above a loud Indian couple. It was very quiet when I first moved here. Just for the record, people in our building have complained to the office about them and they have become better mannered and quieter since then.
And here again I have to turn back to Nisargadatta and the liberating teachings and Truth which I have come to already know within myself through my experience in meditation and contemplation: whatever happens is just life (which includes me) being just life and all of it just being energy playing out—no need to take any of it personally! Not even should I take my own self personally — everything is just energy playing itself out. In a state of pure awareness I see that! I clearly do and obviously needed the reminder.
It seems like ages since simply sitting at the keyboard and typing onto my blog has happened… and it has to do with this thing that we call time or our concept of it. Yeah, it’s bothering me and if you’re a regular reader here, then you know that I work things out here—things that disturb my psyche or ruffle my feathers. I look for ways to handle these dilemmas, these “pickles” of life, and hope that my post will also help another who finds it or goggles a phrase that shows up here. Ever since I’ve moved I’ve been dealing with schedules and family itineraries! It’s like if someone suggests something to do in the future, everyone grabs their appointment calendar to see which day they are free!
I’m simply not used to living this way—at least for the past 15 years anyway. I thought those days were over for me; never did I think that I’d be dancing to the tune of the clock again and certainly not to a school bus or band practice or Friday night football game schedule!
O, Please–don’t get me wrong, I love being with my grandchildren and daughters–even my sister and niece! And we love Friday night football; yet I’m sort of ‘over’ driving two nights a week to and from band practice… but anyway….
It’s just that my life doesn’t seem like my own anymore, but I’m adjusting and my own appointment schedule is being juggled and adjusting too!
We’re managing. And everything is getting done; but inside me there’s lots of resistance to this new life!
I’m working on it though and this blog post is helping me do just THAT today. And I hope it will help you too in some way. Anyway…
I know this feeling of being short of time all of the time is mental and emotional and psychological and it’s an energy thing that I’ve gotten pulled into. I’m trying to pull myself out and having a little bit of difficulty.
It is true that I have to accommodate my family now whereas before (the past 15 years@!) there was none of that. I chose to do so and know that it is their energy and the energy of this general vicinity that needs balancing within me.
You know, people drive so fast around here even in the parking lot of the apartment community and energy of the white rabbit from the Alice in Wonderland story is predominating: “I’m late, I’m late for a very important date, I’m late, I’m late, I’m late, and I’m very, very late…”
Yeah, I feel that within my own mind and body and it gets reinforced at the start of every new day… “Hi Mom, here’s her breakfast, she has to finish this or that homework, I love you, here’s her lunch box, gotta’ go, I’m late…” (My granddaughter stays with me in the morning until her bus comes to take her to school and my daughter rushes off to work.)
Again, I love my family and being near them most of the time. It’s just that I don’t like that hurry-up we’re late feeling and I know it is within me unnecessarily—I carry it too often!
It’s affecting my usual feelings of peace and ease and I miss the pace of the mountains—the general feeling everywhere was “What’s the hurry? And besides, if you wanted me to hurry you should have told me about it 3 weeks ago.”
Aaaahhhhh, sometimes I miss that small mountain town but then other times, like last Thursday night, having sushi and seaweed salad at a local Wasabi Restaurant makes me want to jump up and down celebrating being here in civilization! Oh, there are many things that bring up celebratory feelings about being here—take my grandson for example!
But then, I digress—my issue involves how to deal with this hurry up feeling that predominates too often and restore the more comfortable and compatible “what’s the hurry?” attitude.
Come to think of it, this has always been my problem in all relationships—whether it is with a person or a city/community! I am way too taken in by the ‘other’ vibe and loose myself! Yeah, I could blame it on my Sun/Neptune/Moon natal conjunction or I could use that triple combo to my advantage. What’z it gonna’ be?
Whether you’re like me and are sometimes too sensitive for your own good OR NOT, we’ve got to ask the Oracle for guidance. What can we do? What insight can you give that will help with NOT being pulled into outer energy—how can we maintain our own energy when surrounded by an incompatible vibe 24-7?
I will turn to the I-ching now to select a coin-combo which will bring us some helpful insight on how to change our attitude about time and hurry-up energy and how NOT to lose our self in the midst of so many ‘others’.
Well we have Kua 3 (Difficulty in the Beginning) changing to Kua 60 (Limitations).
Let’s open up this guidance. But before we do that, I just want to say that I am enjoying this Saturday morning! I am undisturbed by duty calling me in any direction and am enjoying the birds visiting my balcony bird feeder. The trees are only a-small-number-of-feet away from my balcony (some ends of the branches are only a few feet) and I like to pretend that I live in the trees WITH the birds and that I AM one myself! I did more of that in the early days of my residency here—and realize now that I need to spend more time with that fantasy when I can fit it in!
Well, to the i-ching… the changing line in the first Kua advises “doing nothing” and “taking a breather”. I really relate to that! Writing in this blog today is about that very thing. Kua 3 is about enduring difficult transitions and this move has been such a thing which I am STILL getting used to! I moved in June and here it is nearing the end of September and the full adjustment has yet to be accomplished!
Here’s an example: we had a garage sale last weekend in which we all sold items that we simply could not use in our new apartments (my daughter and sister also moved here around the same time I did). We agreed to donate what did not sell to Goodwill afterward and did. Several days later, I went there to get a donation receipt that my sister forgot and saw an item from my mountain home. It was a basket which I had on a porch column and I filled it with different flowers as the season’s changed. I did not expect to see it and there it was on a shelf in the Goodwill store and suddenly I grieved the death my old life of peace and solitude. In turning to escape the basket, my eyes landed squarely on ceramic angels that I had along the window sill in the guest bedroom—I called it “The Angel Room”. I nearly ran out of the store with my heart aching and tears streaming down my face. Yeah, I’m not fully adjusted to being here yet—“fer’ shuur!” said the way we used to say it in the 80’s.
So doing nothing and taking a breather this may be a good thing to restore a little bit of balance—that’s the advice (so far) from the i-ching oracle. This sort of stops the whole time thing from being an issue—I can understand that it would be helpful.
I had blocked some time out for myself yesterday and actually felt guilty that I didn’t DO something during that time. Since this small amount of free time is so precious and valuable now, you better DO something special with it… I didn’t and then felt guilty! I never, ever used to feel guilty about doing nothing before–what gives?
The oracle speaks of this situation as “strengthening the ability to roll with the punches” –that is what is going on now. I have to say that bumping into the energy of my old stuff in the Goodwill Store felt like a punch—fer shure.
This is about my ability to deal with difficult transitions—according to the i-ching book for this Kua. Yeah, I think of death when I hear the word “transition” and actually I did say to my daughter on the ‘Goodwill Day” that my reaction is part of me “grieving over my old life”. Kua 3 really does relate to this question I’m asking.
The old was dismantled to make way for the new and now that I’m in the new, the adjustments do create certain doubts and vulnerabilities.
Maybe I need to shore up my certainties and do something to feel less vulnerable. I need to give that some thought. I do believe that I did the right thing to move; yet I do feel vulnerable and intuitively feel some sort of boundary is needed, somehow, to remedy the vulnerability feeling. I just don’t know exactly how to achieve that since I seem to have to be the one to accommodate to everyone else’s schedule!
I find my mind wandering out to future to find a school holiday and to announce to my daughters that I am not available that week—I’ve always wanted to go away to some country that doesn’t celebrate x-Mas during that x-tian holiday anyway! But I digress. Let’s see what else the oracle says.
This is some sort of ‘stage of growth’—this transition, this move, this complete change of lifestyle! Haven’t I grown enough? Wait, don’t let me go into victimization now! This blog post is about how to accomplish a feeling which is one in which I feel as if I have more time—let’s stick with the topic at hand here. (self reprimand– ha ha)
Moving on. The oracle says to stay in touch with the “needs of the moment”. Okay this is helpful. And that’s right! Some of this whole time shortage and “I’m late” vibe is really future oriented. People here run around trying desperately to drive into the future instead of just dealing with the needs of the moment—that’s the “slowing down” that I’ve been doing for the past 15 years which moving here has affected. That’s usually how I am and I’ve allowed the surrounding people, places, things to infiltrate me—and I’ve sort of lost myself as far as this part goes.
I need to bring my mountain mentality to the big city—and live it in the now by affirming continually that I am “in touch with the needs of the moment”—yeah, I like that. I’m going to use that. I should make that a sign and hang it up on the wall to remind myself!
SIGN SHOULD READ: I AM IN TOUCH WITH THE NEEDS OF THE MOMENT—PERIOD!
The Oracle also says that any attempt to make a plan or to make sense of things is premature and will lead to frustration. Be gentle with the self and go slowly.
Let them rush and be late! I don’t have to. Right?
Kua 60 is about “Limitations” and speaks of “testing your own serenity in the chaos exposes the depth of self-disclipline” and also the manner in which we respond to “limitations” is revealing of what has been deeply assimilated.
I have deeply assimilated the mountain energy and the inner peace of living a serene life has been genuinely anchored within me. It is my true nature and true self. I have to remember that it is there and cannot be affected—it is only necessary to stay in touch with myself by staying in touch with the needs of the moment.
Alright, I’ve gone on long enough and I’m good–are you? I feel better and have, via this writing, helped to reinforce what is needed to establish my SELF in the moment again.
I hope this writing has helped another soul who may be able to use and apply any thoughts within these paragraphs.
Days like yesterday (today too) are the reasons why I love astrology—well, at least one of the reasons. Astrology helps us understand our own energy or internal responses to the heavenly alignments. Is it true that we could look at something like tea leaves and get the same information?–maybe; possibly with a far reach; but not likely. Of course many of the old-timey astrologers—the purely scientific type—would cringe at the thought of astrology being a divination system. Leaving that whole can of worms aside, this is just a simple post about yesterday. It will be a quick one at that.
There are certain times when I want to be alone and withdraw and that’s true for everyone I’d imagine. You know, days in which we don’t want to answer the phone or talk to the random man on the street—and if life forces us to the exchange is not always the most…. Well, let’s leave it at that. Some days we just want to withdraw and be alone.
Those of us who are tuned into our own energy to a high degree and who desire to remain aware of awareness could, if we didn’t know better, experience confusion on top of those sudden feelings of wanting to be left alone IF we did not see it in the horoscope and know it was cyclical (a better word may be phase-related) and therefore temporary.
One of my favorite phrases is this one: “This, too, shall pass” and we can see how, why and when looking at an astrology chart! Suddenly there is no further confusion. We can see our response to life on a particular day is related to a lunar transit that happens each month and some months it becomes even more intense if the progressed Moon is involved or if planets are also aspecting (making an astrological aspect to) the natal Moon.
There’s nothing wrong with feeling like you want to withdraw from the world for a day or two. The slight impatience that one feels in contact with other humans is a nudge to create space to be alone and to turn more deeply inward at that time. Perhaps an afternoon of meditation or a solitary walk in nature is what the astrological doctor is ordering.
We can give ourselves full permission to ‘go with it’ knowing full well that in a day or so the feelings of withdrawing from life a bit will pass. Oh, it’s a joyful thing really!!
We don’t have to beat ourselves up and waste time wondering things like, “What the heck is wrong with me today?”
Of course it was that question that turned me toward the direction of my horoscope each month in the first place. Through observation and correlation, I noticed this pattern—when the Moon transits through Cancer and then within hours through my 12th House Stellium (3 planets in the 12th), it triggers that withdrawal response to humans in such a way that that the energy in my psyche…
…well, it is as if my soul is calling me to a private monthly meeting (no other human allowed) where each planet reports in and the minutes of the last meeting are read.
Currently, I’m also generally experiencing a Progressed Moon opposition to my Natal Pluto—go figure! And at the same time that my soul is calling me to go inward, the needs of my family members are tugging me outward and I’ve just described the opposition aspect there.
Well, this is only one of the many reasons why I love astrology—at least one of the reasons why. It helps with self-understanding—
and it’s as if the Divine Intelligence has given us all our very own inner-shrink!
By the way, also at this same time the Moon Phase is waning cresent phase, 4% lit… near the “dark of the Moon”–another indication of withdrawal.
Anyway, I could go on and on but it’s all I have time for today…. may all of your Moon’s be happy ones!