Present Moment Proof – how you know you are there

on the edge

Energy.  That’s right.  You’ll know from the energy feel.  It’s the feel of being alive, vibrating, and we may even say its a feeling of excitement.  Life is taken to a higher level and sometimes only momentarily, longer if you’re lucky.  To understand it, we have to contrast it with the times that we are ‘not’ fully present in the moment.  And that is, for most of us, the majority of the time.  Anytime we are contemplating the past or future — try it out for yourself through simple self-awareness — the energy is dead or flat.  You’ll recognize that dead feel pretty dramatically as you compare it with moments of being fully present.  You know how it goes when you’re being fully in the “now”, right?

Time stops and a surreal feeling will likely come upon you as if you have been lifted up and out and set down somewhere else all of a sudden.  Everything feels different and appears different and maybe the heart quickens and chills happen.  And then you flow with it as if nothing else or no one else exists. 

We’ve all had those feelings.

And there are after effects. I think that it’s feeling in harmony and being in the flow of life that is an indicator that we have just been fully present and the residual of that remains with us and out-pictures as flowing with life for minutes, hours or day (s).

Then, we get shifted out of that flow by something that occurs and then our mind will attach, cling, fear, become angry or experience an aversion.  Then we’re dead in the water again or not functioning effectively,  have been pulled out of the flow and our vibe becomes dead again.  We’re not fully alive anymore.

These are my (blog) thoughts about it anyway.  I was recently reminded of this during a recent visit from my little (soon to be 2-year-old) granddaughter.  The entire time we were together was a peak experience.  She was fully present and brought me with her to that place of excitement.

I’m in that peak place during intense exercise workouts in which I am very focused as well as when I’m engaged in a creative project.  Moments of awakening that shake us out of our mundane, dead, and routine thoughts or activities, if used correctly, are gifts.

Being on the edge of life is being in the present moment and it comes with that feeling of being fully alive.

Personally,  at those times my soul, my psyche goes into a state, which in Zazen, is called shikantaza, a state of heightened concentration, patience, and alertness and this state throws me into a state of flow that lasts for hours or days.  Plans change or don’t enter into mind at all and one just becomes totally spontaneous.  In describing this recently someone replied, “Oh yes, if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”  Yeah, alrighty then.  LOL

I hope this post is found to be, in some way, helpful to the reader.

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5 of Pentacles with 2 and 7 of Pentacles – When Life Circumstances Drastically Change

5 of Pentacles Issue with  a 2 and 7 of Pentacle Resolution

5, 2 and 7 Pentacles

Haven’t there been times when we’ve used our pain or life trials as a crutch or to solicit sympathy or attention from others–at least temporarily?  In the card image for the 5 of Pentacles (above) she is sitting on the rock, crutches on her lap and out in the cold, no less.  Note the scarf, gloves and snow upon the ground.  We all get wounded from time–we suffer an eye-opening loss and our initial reaction is  squeeze the eyes closed.  We just don’t want to deal with it.  But eventually, it comes time to open the eyes and take inventory or make a plan of some kind.

Yet we all know that some folks never do; they lay claim to role as victim and do what they can to enhance that role or overly exaggerate their difficulty.  There’s help available and they know it and also know how to reach out for it but (for whatever reason) remaining victim has become a habit that they are getting something from.  The greater difficulty with a person using  using those crutches long-term is that they block the ability to change and loose touch with inner values and their own spirit.

Drastic changes in life circumstances due to external conditions happen to all of us at one time or another.   All three cards chosen today for blog fodder were Pentacles–cards of the earth and of material world and worldly concerns.  In some tarot decks we see the 5 of Pentacles person on crutches, wounded by life, walking past a church or chapel ~ not going in.  You get the feeling that spirituality is being ignored.

There are times that isolating one’s self from the world for a little while is a good thing right after suffering a dramatic change in the circumstances of our life.

I feel pretty qualified to write about the 5 of Pentacles, haven “been there, and done that” as the saying goes.  I isolated myself and shut my eyes and it got pretty cold there eventually and I did take shelter in the spiritual realms.  Reading spiritual books, meditating, seeking out like-minded individuals, finding a soul family for a while and being helped–but I had to seek a solution and leave the crutches behind, and come in from the cold place where I was making material concerns more important than they should have been.

And that brought me to a ‘2 of Pentacles kind of place’ in my mind and heart.  Through my newly established ‘spiritual legs’ (after haven tossed those crutches away), I was able to be more joyful about life.  I opened my eyes, realized the lessons and the blessings in the recent changes and was able to “go with the flow” as the saying goes.

The gift of the drastic change to external conditions enabled me to further develop the ability to feel much deeper compassion for myself and others.  I found ways to take advantage of the shifts of energy.  I raised my sails and let the winds of change move me and did not resist.

Sometimes there was no wind and I found myself in the ‘doldrums’ on those occasions–once in a  while depression or feelings of hopelessness kicked in.  But by then I had already turned my crutches in for a hoe (I’d learned how to use some spiritual tools) and just like the image on the 7 of Pentacles card (above) I had to contemplate how to use those tools; but figured it out.

Perpetual change was the name of the game in certain periods of my life and those changes helped me to learn how to maintain equilibrium.  I learned a lot about my strengths and also my weaknesses during times of rapid fire change.

I learned to trade in any illusions about the outer world being a stable and safe place and realized (each time and on deeper levels) that all stability and safety is to be sought and found within one’s own spiritual self.  In doing so I calmed myself enough (opening my eyes) to be able to see opportunities around me and also the true beauty of the Earth and Life Itself.  (Capitalization intended).  I saw The Divine everywhere I looked once I found The Source within.

We must not be afraid of change.  We need to “un-stick” ourselves from old conditions and release the past in order to benefit fully from all the gifts that Life has to offer.

We are taught by society that our stability in life comes from the work, the career we have within the framework of society.  We may have prepared for a particular job or career only to find that work dissolve before our eyes.

That happened to me. There was health care reform that affected many professional health care providers like myself for a short time.  Physical Therapists (like myself), Occupational Therapists and Respiratory Therapists–many of us found ourselves applying for job loss benefits.  It was very de-stabilizing time.  And  that was around the time that I found  much more satisfying work that I do as a counselor and professional psychic.

We all must do something in some way when we are feeling destabilized.  We cannot remain too long in that stuck and un-focused state.  We must take those tools (that garden hoe shown in the image of 7 of Pentacles above) and plant some seeds.  While we’re waiting form them to sprout and grow, we cannot loose faith and hope.  Instead, we can firm up our inner spiritual fortress while we’re waiting.

In my case, I built a website to do my psychic work and it was about 3 months before I could see the search engines picked it up and people found me.  Meanwhile however, it was a great joy for me to create the many web pages and load images and write articles for the website.  On days when I had no clients, I used the day to create the next web page and then the one after that.

I continue to have failures and also successes and both have served as great teachers for me– it continues that way.   For myself and for all humans who open their eyes and put down the crutches and pick up the spiritual tools, establish a true connection with the Spiritual Source within and plant those seeds while dancing with the movement of life we are able to recognize opportunity.   Then it becomes clear to us that there is nothing to fear and most of all that we are supported by a kind, giving and loving universe.

We get there by looking inward.

Spirit Guides, Soul Gardens, Soil Gardens ~ Growing from Seed and Transplaning

Nurturing Soil and Soul Gardens and Spirit Guide Co-Gardeners

On Spirit Guides, Soul Gardens, Soil Gardens ~ Growing from Seed and Transplanting

Plants, like people, need to gradually get accustomed to change; otherwise, plants get shocked, just like people do when exposed to sudden change. Hardening plants as they grow from seeds is how to avoid transplant shock–gradually introducing change. Introducing the newly sprouting plant to the new environment stages is the thing… bringing plants from inside to outside in stages. It usually takes time to become established–whether it a plant or a human that we’re talking about.

Good soil is important to survival too and when I relate that to the similarities to a human being, it comes down to spiritual teachings or understanding making the good soil in the human soul.

Plants are fragile when young. And people are fragile when adjusting to change and  having to sprout from new seeds… change in a human’s life is like a seed that is being asked to sprout. Right conditions and tender care and nurturing are important during early growth.  When sprouting and then transplanting–it’s like proper tending to young leafs and root.

It’s important when tending new growth that is just developing an early root system to use great care when first transplanted into larger containers.  People develop early root systems in new environments too whether those environments are emotional or physical, it’s important to not disturb the soil/soul too much or damage the early rooting process.  When it comes to people and my own life in particular, I realize in retrospect how these principals have played out as evidence of divine intelligence/spirit guides co-gardening some of the changes of my life.

It’s also important to not let the roots dry out–this is true with plants and humans alike. Continuing to nurture the roots… not allowing over-exposure to what is not nurturing… like poor soil and over-watering… the right about of water for a plant is important.  And with a human the right amount of whatever is nurturing to the soul is important too.

What nurtures the soil of your soul? 

In my own case, what I find nurturing is a connection to nature and to meditation (preferably meditation in nature if possible) and also an environment of quiet as well as surroundings that I find attractive to the eye… pretty surroundings with plenty of daylight. My apartment has many windows and this is nurturing to my soul.

What one plant or flower finds nurturing may be different than the next–some like more water, some less and that type of thing. Humans also differ in what nurtures their soul and “SOIL”.

Interesting, isn’t it?  The slight difference in the spelling of the words … i and the o in those two words I mean.  Soul and soil– but both have such a similar meaning.

Sometimes plants can regenerate even if injured–people too. I wonder if our spirit guides assist in gardening our souls.

Do we, as humans, become exposed to harsh conditions on purpose and gradually in order to “harden” us to change so we grow better, just like how we humans do with our plants?

We may take the newly grown flower or plant once transplanted into a larger pot outdoors for only a few hours a day and only in shade and then gradually expose it to sun and then gradually to overnight temperatures or warmer daytime temperatures.

Did you know that removing lower leaves and burying things deeper in the soil helps the plant become more resilient and aids in its growth?

Similarities in plant life and human life

I’m learning about plants and flower planting from seeds right now and can really see how that relates to the human life and soul as it applies to growth and change in our human lives. Removing the lower leaves of a plant leads me to think of letting to of old baggage in a human life– releasing our past memories or experiences in order to acclimate successfully to the changes in life.

Do our guides clip those leaves? People sometimes loose a relationship or a job or sometimes both (those lower leaves) when they are growing the seeds of a new life.

How many times in one lifetime do we die and re-seed and become reborn?

I can see this so many times in my life—as if I’ve spawned new seeds a number of times in this one life.

Plants and flowers that are young need proper nutrition to prevent transplant shock and in our life when we have experienced changes we need to give ourselves proper nutrition too–in whatever way we nurture our soul and our body; we need to do that until we become stronger.

A gardener adds nutrients to the soil after transplanting and I think our spirit guides find ways to bring people, information, and circumstances into our lives at the right time, too, in order to nurture our souls so that we can grow stronger after change.

I think many times our spirit guides are the co-gardeners of our soul and that we should try our best to cooperate with the gardeners and through awareness also help garden ourselves. Don’t we talk to our plants and flowers? Many of us do! And I believe and know firsthand that our spirit guides talk to us too.  Why is this difficult to understand? They inspiring us to grow and to adjust and they teach us how to self-talk so that we can receive proper nurturing and nutrition.   Yes; this is how it is. I think so.

Sometimes plant wilt and when plants wilt sometimes they need more water and more shade many times too. (Of course we can over-water plants as well which speaks to proper balance.)  The human soul and spirit wilts sometimes too (and the body does as well through over fatigue sometimes; too much watering!)–and when these things happen, we tire of the struggle.

So what can we do?  When that happens to the plant or flower, the gardener removes it from the environment which is not agreeing with it and gives it more shade and more water or whatever is needed.  Humans can take a vacation or relocate and in that way it’s similar — or if that’s not possible, change the mind in some way.

Until we or our plant grow stronger and more resilient and until there is proper soil and surroundings we try different things.

Some gardeners when planting in the ground (from container to ground) which is done  after gradual acclimation to the outdoors when the plant is stronger… well, they plant flowers or plants in the ground late in the day so that they get accustomed to the overnight temperatures and wake up in their new place in the earth in the morning. Another new beginning.

Some seeds don’t make it of course. Some plants that are transplanted, don’t make it either. Bu the gardener learns through their failures.

Sometimes gardeners will direct-seed into the garden or the earth itself without growing it indoors firs in a greenhouse of some type beforehand. This can avoid transplant shock but the gardener has to know how that seed does in that soil and in that environment first. (Experience and book knowledge help.)

Maybe our spirit guides know us well and which of us can be directly transplanted into the garden or in human terms can just be planted right into the place where we are intended to grow and without needing gradual acclimation from one type environment to the next.

Have you ever been transplanted?

Do you ever feel like you’ve been a seed that sprouted and then dug out of the pod holder and planted into a new environment?  I sort of feel that way about some of my own recent moves in this location since I left the mountains. I’ve moved several times since seeding in this city.  Each apartment I lived in was a temporary container as my seed grew and perhaps I was being “toughened up or hardened” in order to survive in this environment.  Makes perfect sense to me!

We get ‘hardened’ as humans and as plants by growing in an environment that we simply have to deal with day in and day out.

Some plants can be directly sown outside — some are by nature more hardy or tough. Some of us can be direct seeded into the soil of our lives—some of us can just naturally deal with change easily or deal with suddenly moving to a new location or starting a new relationship or a new career without stress.  Some of us need gradual acclimation.  Sometimes we can wilt a little bit,  but can come back with a small amount of TLC.

I had one huge plant that I gave my daughter when I moved from the mountains because I simply had no room for it; it’s in a big pot that sits on the floor and takes up a good deal of space. We call it “grandpa” because I’ve had it for such a long time. Its fairly pot bound but we just don’t want it getting any bigger than it already is — so it needs a lot of water being a water loving plant by nature but because it’s mostly all roots and not much soil to hold moisture. Anyway, grandpa will easily wilt and look almost dead if not watered; YET, as soon as it gets a drink it stand up straight and salutes.  Only in a matter of hours! Some of us are like that plant I think.

Dropping seeds and re-blooming

Some plants will drop seeds and re-bloom again the next year, planting their own seeds so-to-speak. Tomatoes can be like that I hear (have never grown tomatoes so I don’t know firsthand) and Morning Glory flowers will drop their own seeds and come back again the next year too.  Regenerating themselves; that’s pretty cool. It’s like a plant having it’s children from generation to generation, isn’t it?

I have dropped my own seeds and those seeds have grown to drop seeds of their own; children and grandchildren. But those seeds need nurturing too and I’d like to think that I have become that human gardener to human seeds as a parent and grandparent.

Yet, I also know that I have had co-gardeners from higher places helping me.

Educated Gardeners 

We can improve our gardening through education — just as I’m doing today as I learn about growing flowers from seed which inspired me to write this piece.

The human body, mind and soul are no different when speaking of educated gardeners. We can learn how to garden our children and of course our own self through education–through learning what helps us to grow stronger and more resilient and what kind of soil we need as well as how to acquire the proper nutrients.

Some gardens simply grow on their own, reseed themselves every year but still we must keep and eye for predators, pests, etc. Sometimes we have to rid ourselves of certain people or energy that damages our growth–it’s true, don’t you think? Just like we take precautions to protect our garden.

The life in your soil and the life in your soul 

Gardeners say that it’s not just about the soil it’s about the LIFE IN YOUR SOIL.
I can realize how that this translates into the human condition as well. It’s not just about the soil it’s about the LIFE IN YOUR SOUL. What do we do to nurture that ‘soil’ and that ‘soul”–?

How do we unlock the nutrients within the ‘soil’ and in the ‘soul’?

If we are not in the perfect environment we can do things to condition that environment so that we can grow better within it. That’s a lot of what Feng Shui is about–“treating” the environment so that it is balanced so that we can unlock the nutrients of our “soul” like natural fertilizers (compost, etc.) can unlock the nutrients of the “soil”.

If the soil in the backyard of where someone lives is not conducive to what the gardener wants to plant, then the garden is created in an above the ground raised bed. You’ve seen that in gardens, right?  People will create a raised frame with wood or anything that creates a barrier to hold soil thereby creating a raised flower bed or garden area so that the gardener can control the proper soil.

In our lives we can do the same thing if we find we are on ground that isn’t naturally nurturing for us.

With any garden — the garden of our soul/psyche or the garden in our backyard or patio, we learn as we go and we learn as we grow.

I think spirit guides are learning too, right along with us. Can I prove that? No, but it makes sense to me; that’s all.

We are all growing and evolving as above so below, and as below so above too.

We learn as we grow!

Whether it is the earth garden or the garden of our own soul.

Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Libra with players Pluto, Uranus and Jupiter – How it plays out

Full Moon Lunar Eclipse (Blood Moon) - April 4, 2015
Full Moon Lunar Eclipse (Blood Moon) – April 4, 2015

Today – It’s a super charged Full Moon (April 4, 2015) in Libra!  What can this mean? Here’s my version…

But is it only today that we may feel (Moon/emotion) the effects?  No; it’s more or less a theme that’s been occurring at least since the last eclipse (Solar a few weeks ago, March 20).

Something shifted around that time, perhaps ended—a change; a new way of BE-ing may have occurred for you.

And now, that’s associated with a new beginning.

Don’t’ get hung up on the exact dates; instead just think about something that may have occurred in the life 2 or 3 weeks ago (or even  a month or so ago) that set you up for the new phase that this eclipse is heralding—new beginning; new way of seeing things; new way of being in the world; new chapter in the life.  (We can experience the effects of an eclipse months before and months after–or so they say and so I’ve personally observed.)  But what are the key factors we can realize now?

Relationship is the key word with this energy and if you’re like me—happy to be in relationship with Self with a capital S (Higher Self) and with Divine Being you may, like me, be seeing life in a whole new light.  That should be a capital L really in the word Life—meaning All That Is and of course all that isn’t and the space in between.

Of course, we’d also have to mention personal one-on-one relationships with family, friends, life partners too which may be taking on a whole new meaning right about now and over the next few months.

This is no ordinary placement.  The Sun is conjunct Uranus and T-squaring Pluto.  What a mixture!   Moon, Uranus in Aries, the Libra Sun and tossed into that we also have the Capricorn Pluto – better not reference tossing Pluto, Lord of the Underworld, anywhere– it’s he who does the tossing.  LOL

Sun in Aries wants freedom and the ability to do it’s own thing regarding its purpose in life and the planet Uranus is empowering that Sun to go for it! As I see it, the planets and luminaries are setting up that theme when the Sun/Uranus opposes Moon and squares Pluto.

To me that configuration indicates  finding freedom in our life in a new way–one which challenges our feelings of security or actually enhances those feelings to create transformational (Pluto, the transformer) attitudes or views regarding how we relate to others and/or to Life Itself.  Pluto is quite psychological and so we could sense here a new psychology in your life–perhaps a highly personal one that creates a new beginning.

Can you see or feel how this can be playing out in your life now?  And how it has been occurring for some time now?

Jupiter plays a part in this attitudinal, emotional energy merger and change of view too. Jupiter, the great benefic, is highly focused via it’s retrograde motion.  It’s moving through Leo now.   And now its making an aspect to the other players, bringing with it a sense of playfulness and joy and mostly FUN.   That’s the energy that influences and balances this new attitude and way of be-ing that is taking shape and changing our lives right now.

May the blessings of Jupiter be yours and may you find the freedom and harmony in your life that brings the new freedom/ liberation of contented happiness with the influence of this eclipse both now and over the next 6 months!

All’s Well That Ends Well

alls well that ends wellWarning: mostly boring stuff.  This is a journal entry that I started on Facebook and it started to get too long so I finished it here.  I picked up a few documentaries at the video store the other day–one was on hiking Kilimanjaro.  And the other entitled “When we left the earth” about the space program, NASA and the astronauts.  Found both very enjoyable and no problem to ease into watching after leaving the gym today.  The last 10 minutes on the treadmill required mental discipline to get through but even though it’s Friday, I didn’t accept any excuse from the weak mind that kept offering excuses to quit prematurely.

They were giving away free T-shirts so picked up a few for myself, daughter and granddaughter; so soft and a nice little treat.

The last of the pottery Xmas gifts are being fired and tomorrow I will finish one of the last ones.  Hope to go the movies later to see Hunger Games with some of the family and aside from that, just waiting for news about an upcoming move to my own apartment.

This little place which is like a little house of it’s own has a front and back porch for my plants and steps up with a railing–not many; maybe 6 or 7.  The whole apartment area which is more like small little houses is really surrounded by woods and a creek is nearby or so I’m told—its a gem to find a place surrounded by woods here in the city.  Another bonus is that it’s not far from family and even closer to the gym than where I reside now.

Yeah, so I’ve been renting a few movies which help to keep my mind away from wanting to attach … well, you know this saying, right?  My Dad used it all the time, “Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched”, he’d say to me.  Evidently, Dad (rest is soul) noticed the tendency toward disappointment in me at an early age.  It’s taken all these many years to finally integrate that message of non-attachment.

The other day I was listening to a Buddhist teacher who said when you begin the path of awareness and mindfulness that you sometimes do a lot of karmic clearing all at once.  This brought a moment of consolation for the difficulties that I’ve experienced integrating here from my hermit lifestyle in the woods.  The Winter Solstice before even considering a move (or having the foggiest hint that I’d be doing so) I remember standing up on the mountain ridge behind my house hanging i-Ching and Buddha coins on a sweet little naturally growing live white pine tree which I assigned as my personal yule tree.  I clearly recall that I asked for more knowledge about Buddhism and “to become more Buddha-like”.  Yep, that could have done it!  LOL  I’m not kidding –really, I’m not.  I was quiet serious about expanding knowledge about Buddhism at the time.  And actually, not long after that (there being no sanghas in those old mountains, I learned about Vajra TV which I considered to be a miracle!)

And now that I’ve left the mountains, I will be happy to be once again in my own little nest.  (I’m sharing an apartment with my sister and niece–add that one to the challenges faced since moving here.)  Anyway, when the move happens (and it will eventually!),  I plan to eat better, cook healthier food.

simple life
Mentors Channel posted this on Facebook today; I relate

You know… I look back over my life for the past… well,  since the summer of 2012 (and we’re soon to be in 2015 in a few weeks) and realize even more so now how this “heap-load of intense karmic clearing” could really be a viable or possible truth.

I hope not to have incurred further or additional karma these past few years, but if intention is part of the cause/effect karmic equation for the future, this may ease any future karmic consequence.

One can only hope for the best on a karmic level and to offset that to perform good deeds, so tonglen meditations, and  as they say accrue merit to create good karma to balance.

Anyway, I can correlate so many Buddhist teachings with my experiences over the past 2+ years and while I may have struggled a good deal with reality/life, many realizations have occurred.  And this is one more thing to be grateful for.

My daughters have their apartments all decorated for the holidays now.  I hope for them that they experience that time goes slowly so that they can enjoy their Christmas trees and bright things each day.

In contrast, and as for me as I’ve grow older, it seems that holidays come and go so fast that it’s hardly worth the effort to drag the decorating stuff out before you have to put it back again.  I gave my holiday decorations to my girls for that and various reasons.

I know that I will be releasing even more items/things/stuff, giving more away since the new apartment will be even smaller than the old one that I had here.

Anyway, speaking of releasing, somehow I lost a few pounds recently and this time I hope to keep that going! I think I owe a thank you to the treadmill. 🙂 I am so grateful to be able to go to the gym.  I want to get back into swimming soon too–all these big plans.  LOL

Letting things go…  materially, emotionally and mentally!  And as Shakespeare wrote, “All’s well that ends well” and yet it is still debated if that play was a comedy or tragedy.  Perhaps, like all of our lives, both.

PS– oh, and that apartment house I mentioned… it’s an 11 (numerology).  But then there I go again; you’re right about those chickens Dad.  Yeah, I’m psychic and my intuition tells me things but it’s still better to take Dad’s advice.

Better put in another video.  🙂

When the Moon Transits the 4th House

Moon in the 4th HouseWhen the Moon transits your 4th house–hang on Snoopy, hang tough.  That was yesterday, for me—the Moon was moving through my 4th house.  I’ve got some perfect examples of this transit for you.  First let me list the typical areas of life that get triggered as a Moon moves through house 4.  Home is the key here and by the way the Moon actually rules this house and that makes this particular transit a strong one—like a double dose of Moon energy.  Decorating the home—any kind of project involving home at all actually would be typical.  Moving furniture, cleaning, and since the 4th house relates to “family”, those ties may be active. Moon rules Cancer and relates to family, nurturing, feelings, emotion, moods, home, soul, the past, ancestors, parents, childhood, self-image, housing, subconscious and midnight (nadir).  This area of the chart is also called the IC…. it’s from Latin —Imum Coeli (Latin for “bottom of the sky”.

Since the 4th house is the “midnight” or lowest point of the chart deep soul or subconscious issues apply here as well.  The ambiance of the home would be highlighted as well…. the mood or atmosphere of the home or where one lives.  [Where one resides and one’s home are not always the same place]

Like house 12, this area of one’s life is another where the soul desire is to withdraw more deeply into a place of safety and security—into one’s self.  Issues with “parents” or “childhood” may be triggered.  The 4th house relates to the foundation of one’s being.

Issues or concerns about housing situations would typically come up at this time of the month more than any other time. It’s also a time when one recalls one’s ancestors and reaching back to connect with them in some way.  Questions of the mind and heart such as, “Who is my family?” and “Where is my home; where do I belong?” would motivate one’s feeling nature.  A double Moon time is an intense “feeling” time.

PERSONAL NOTE:  It was unexpected and at the time I’d forgotten about the Moon and the houses.  I’d been considering moving a portable desk that I wasn’t using and that was taking up too much room in my closet for days—weeks actually.  Finally I got the big awkward thing down the stairs and loaded into the car along with my gear for the YMCA for the workout the followed.   Later in the day I did some reorganizing in that closet and ran the sweeper over the carpet and cleaned the bathroom.   I mention those details because they relate to typical 4th house activities being simulated by a Moon transit as mentioned above.

I drove to the storage unit, raised the door, saw my “stuff” and broke out in unexpected tears followed by overwhelming feelings and thoughts.  “What am I doing with my life? Where am I going to live and when?  Where do I fit in?  Where do I even ‘want’ to live, even if I had all the money in the world?”  All of that was followed by “I can’t believe I’m at this place again with all my stuff in storage.”

I cried even more thinking of how optimistic I was feeling at the time things were loaded in and noted how some of the boxes and belongings has shifted and slid from their neat stacks since the day they were so carefully and confidently placed!  Every emotion that I’d been holding together came undone and I bawled like a baby for goodness sake!

Yep, there it is Moon moving through the 4th house—a perfect example!  And right on time.  The rest of the day it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.  Believe it or not I think I cried while doing laps but the tears, if any, would have blended with the water certainly nobody could see my face anyway.  By the time I was through the 48 laps that I swam, I did feel better.  Exercise always helps@!

I got to bring in a moment of homespun ambiance experienced later that night.  After I got my grandson back from band practice which I stayed to watch since that always cheers me there was door slamming at around 11 PM just as I was trying to let the day go—I live temporarily with my sister and niece.  Somebody was trying to make a point to the other and a good slam of a door is how those two do it around here which I’m sure the neighbors in this building also appreciate!  Yep, Moon moved through my 4th house alright!

Happy that the Moon has now advanced to my 5th house now.  Will be back to blog my way through the 5th house Lunar transit in a day or so.


Peaceful Reflection in Post Aversion and more on karmic tendencies

Not all apartments here are created equal, nor are all karmic imprints the same!
Not all apartments here are created equal, nor are all karmic imprints the same!

This post is me being bare-to-the-bones honest.  Sharing what I’m learning on this journey.  You may remember the posts since last year have reflected my struggle with… well,  straight to the point shall we?

Not all apartments are created equally, nor do all humans carry the same karmic imprints and tendencies in consciousness.

My inner question over many months involved knowing on deep levels that every irritating sound (or even smell; well, maybe especially smell) was illusion and my response of intense aversion to it was of course of my own making.

The sounds is ‘me’ and the smells are ‘me’ but at the same time in conventional reality obviously coming from the source of the downstairs neighbors.  For months on end, I realized this and argue with self, “…but it is so real (the loud voices the curry/garlic stink),… so real for something that is an illusion!

How could this be me when everything that remains of me that is still sane indicates the opposite?  

I knew the truth of it but the aversion was so strong that the reality of it increased in proportion and the whole thing kept feeding itself.  By the way, since moving I’ve learned that the apartment building itself where this experienced hell-realm is located is cheap construction and the townhouse I’m in now has very good soundproofing. Our neighbor to the right (this is a 2-level townhouse) consists of 3 people and a dog and we never hear a word, nor do the 3 of us living in this townhouse even hear one another’s TV or words from room-to-room or from upper-to-lower level.  So life is much more pleasant as far as that goes.   Not all apartments and townhouses in this complex are equal.

The other apartment  situation may have been karmic but it provided me the stimulus to ask more deeply about the nature of reality and the nature of mind.  I would never, ever wish to repeat it but I do see how the experience benefited my evolution.  

I knew deeply then as I always have in my core being that the external sounds, smell, appearances were empty and coming from the mind but the aversion was so strong… it was very confusing and I resisted it desperately causing myself compounded suffering.

The thing is when we look at something in meditation, we see the appearance of it in the mind.  Sounds, smells, all senses are this way.  The mind interprets everything and assigns meaning or judgment to it…  “i.e. this is pleasant, this is horrible, etc.”

And when we try to find the consciousness that see’s and interprets the energy, when we try to find the visual consciousness or the auditory consciousness or the olfactory/sense of smell consciousness that is doing the looking or receiving the smell, we cannot find it.   Mostly because it is constantly changing and in Buddhist terms it is “empty”.

Being a psychic this is known to me and seen in my work–energy is constantly changing and what we perceive is not the true nature of things, it is only our own perceptions which are deeply ingrained patterns (see last blog post)… latent karmic imprints.  

I have to admit here that there is difficulty in explaining in this written word what I know and what  am learning here now, post-aversion, in my continued  reflection and further study of  Tibetan Buddhism.  It’s complicated on one hand and so simple on the other!  All the Libra energy in me can hold the paradox but my Mercury in Scorpio feels it and has trouble with the words.

I realize even more clearly now that the sounds and smells [from my boisterous and cooking Indian downstairs neighbors and the guitar-singing neighbor who followed] were all simply energies which hit my senses that these sense consciousnesses had absolutely no opinion of those sounds or smells.

And further, and more importantly, I realize with more clarity that  it was my mind that  was giving it whatever meaning it had back then which was that of extreme aversion.

For another person with different karmic imprints, the situation would perhaps even been pleasant (although that’s hard to imagine) or at least the aversion may not have been as strong.

Why would it differ?  All those latent karmic imprints and tendencies were awakened and it seemed very difficult to have control over my intense aversions.  I am not making excuses, I’m demonstrating, hopefully, how something pleasant or unpleasant (attractions/aversions) may differ with person-to-person based on the karmic tendencies in ground consciousness [see last blog post].

Back then, I kept thinking [getting the thought]–this smell is ‘me’ and their yelling in Hindi is ‘me’ but (at the same time) how can that possibly be?    Karmic habituation of interpreting certain energy a certain way is part of the answer.

I don’t have all the answers but it’s all getting clearer now that I am in a new setting where peaceful reflection is possible.

(I share this in the hope that it may serve or be helpful in some way to another out in cyber world who may be experiencing any type of difficulty or confusion.  May we all be brought to clarity and contented happiness and freedom from all suffering and causes of suffering.) 

 

Flowing from bird watching to people watching – Life is but a dream

June 25 2014 waterfall

Energy is starting to FLOW again–especially in my arms and hands!  ( Moving injuries.)  Back in elementary and high school, I’d often get into trouble for looking out the window.  People drive by all day long here and have to slow down in front of my upstairs window because there is a speed bump outside of this group of townhouses.  I do have my bird feeder out back and there are a few branches on our side of a tree that is in between us and the neighbor that I can hang a feeder from for Natasha (my sister’s cat) to google the birds… she likes to sit my window ledges and look out.

Spiritual Path:  No aversions, No attachments, No preferences — Buddhism

BUDDHA ON MY DESKI still marvel at the nice view I have.  I’d prefer (but trying not to!) mountain views but since I’m here, it turns out that I get to look at the nicest townhouse in the whole place of rows and rows of townhouses.  I think that the resident there must long for or perhaps miss a real home, evidently really enjoying working in the yard, his and the end unit next to it.  He has the whole place edged with an electric edger and the grass is thick and green and he has flowers between the hedges that he trims and encircling the flowering tree in the front.  I do love flowers and i get to look at his flower handiwork across the street from my window.  He’s out there a lot tending to the lawn and flowerbeds.  I understand that.

Yesterday, I re-potted two plants and planted a 3rd with flowers and added soil and miracle grow to all of them.  There’s something about working with the earth and flower/plant kingdom devas (spirits) and being out under the clouds that soothes the soul and heals the heart and mind.

Arranged the downstairs pantry with my food and cooking stuff and today my bedroom closet is the aim–everything is topsy turvy in there from the move and I can’t find a thing!

Today I see more emails from students and clients which are piling up which needs tending to as well.  Meanwhile, having traded bird watching for people watching as the background activity to my psychic work and writing is an interesting switch.  Change (switching things around) is good as my youngest daughter said and its true.  Yet, routine is good too (its comforting) and the current flow of energy will take me there eventually.

Opps!  a UPS truck just drove by my window and maintenance guys in their golf carts try to whiz by speeding around the speed bumps when no car is parked in their way.  Such is life in the townhouse community here… and the laundry is done so I need to flow it into the dryer.  Just going with the flow is so nice compared to the intense rush and physical exertion of moving my sister and I into this place.  This has been the month of polarities, for sure!

♫ Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream….. ♫

Go with the Flow!

PS — Oh, and that guy in the townhouse across from ours… he has pretty blue lights in this windows and across his door… lovely to see at night too (especially since the street light blocks out the stars at night which I’d prefer to see at night, but pretty blue lights are just fine too.

Actually, the blue lights remind me of the blue light surrounding the star Sirius which is where I’m from–yes, I’m an alien and starseed.  You are too, but I won’t tell anyone so don’t worry.  

 He has quite a few blue lights out there… and you sort of feel like telling the guy that Xmas is over and to take down the lights but actually I think they’re pretty.  And an adequate substitute for stars I suppose.  They are beautifully placed and as tactfully, tastefully pretty as the guys lawn and flowers.  LOL  And I still see trees… an awesome pine across the street and another flowering tree and behind the rows of townhouses more trees tall and above the roof line.  Dryer just buzzed… better fold clothes now.