Loss of Consciousness Gives Glimpse of the Non-Self–maybe?

time imageI was somewhere peaceful.  Not really a dream you see? It was rather a space of no stress, no time, lovely floating.  I was a non-self –sort of I guess or how I’d image it to be a non-self… I wasn’t me.  Where I was there was no “me” as I am accustomed to knowing it.

In coming back (and I don’t even remember leaving by the way), there were the following impressions.  I didn’t see anything that I can recall – no form of any kind but I was not in the body and not in the space my thoughts usually occupy.   No time, I say, because when I slowly returned to my body that was on the cold hospital Emergency Room floor the first impression was that I didn’t know how long I was gone but it seemed to me like I was gone for a long while.  There, where I had just been, time was huge or non-existent; it had no meaning or significance.

I think that the reason that it felt like I was gone a while is that I had to remember myself again and what was happening.  Like I’d been away for a long time and had to jump back into a life that I could hardly remember—like that life was a long, long time ago.

Voices and shouting brought me back.  The cold floor on the side of my face made me wonder what the body was doing here.  I had to work really hard to re-enter the point and time and re-join the body and the life circumstances… to come back into being a “me”.

It was like Continue reading

Coincidences and Synchronicity – Leopard Spirit Massage Therapist

Leopard facebook header 600x222It’s all the time. Coincidence.  Synchronicity.  And it becomes nearly expected.  Life, through those harmonious connections, seems normal, right-on and routine.  I didn’t say anything to him about this.  After all, he thought astrology was astronomy and got the two words confused and when I explained he wasn’t sure about his own Sun Sign. But then, he was rather young, age 23 I was told the day before by the appointment secretary.  [I sometimes find it less intimidating to others when I answer their question about what I do for a living to say am an astrologer (rather than psychic) although I’d claim to be both. ]

He confessed that he’s a loner and doesn’t have all that many friends.  Oh, I’m talking about the massage guy.  I’m not someone who normally Continue reading

The Ghost of Zombie Cat

I’m re-blogging this Excellent Blog Post by ModernOracle. Love this quote, “”I’ve noticed a tendency for people to use spirituality and religion almost interchangeably. They aren’t. As I see it they are totally different, damn near opposite things.”

“There is more in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophies” – William Shakespeare

“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic” Arthur C. Clarke

“I ain’t afraid of no ghost” – Ghostbusters

In the first Zombie Cat post we talked a little bit about the intersection of Tarot and science. Now lets shift gears yet again and add in the  “woo-woo”, fringe, and well, spiritual. Tarot intersects all of those things too.

Venn

When I’m not looking at the world as a giant Taoist Taijitu (yin/yang symbol) I tend to see a lot of things in terms of a Venn diagram. That’s why I chose a triquetra as the main symbol in my logo. This “trinity knot” is essentially an excerpt of a three circle Venn diagram which in turn symbolizes much of what I do here and in holistic health…mind/body/spirit or more traditionally mother/maiden/crone (for the stages of…

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Thoughts on Life: Resistance versus Acceptance – Fighting versus Flowing

it is what it isFIGHTING VERSUS FLOWING

RESISTANCE VERSUS ACCEPTANCE 

I was on the final 15 minutes of my hour spin bike workout, doing intervals.  There’s a point of non-resistance that has to be reached to get through those final intervals when the legs are burning and the level of fatigue makes you want to resist.  A coach once said, “Your legs should be burning–let ’em”.

There’s a point where you have to give up and surrender the battle to get the last few sets of intervals done successfully.

It’s acceptance.  The lungs are on fire and so are the legs and you’re pushing through to the end but if you fight this or resist it, you just can’t do it–you quit.

Today I thought about how this is just like life.  I mean, on the bike you accept it,  the “what is” of legs burning and the like and if you accept then the work is so much easier and you’re less likely to give up.  Or said another way what you ‘do’ give up is the resistance to ‘what is’–the burn or breathlessness or whatever.

When you give up the resistance and let the mind participate with the body, allowing the merging and accepting the fact that ‘yeah, it’s what it is, until it isn’t anymore’, THAT is so liberating, especially in those final moments.

Those hour long interval workouts are like the last moments of a race.  What really counts is what you do at the end when you have to dig deep and get to the finish line, especially when total exhaustion is so close.

When life becomes a crisis in some way and let’s face it, life presents challenges and if we deny this we are not living on this planet I think.  At those times do we surrender? Or do we fight it? Do we want to deny what’s happening and thereby struggle against it?

We make life harder for ourselves if we struggle.  I make the last 15 minutes of my workout harder if I struggle against.

This applies across the board or that’s my position in writing this.  No matter what life presents us with at any given time (and sometimes life is like those last 15 minutes of an hour long interval workout at the gym–rough!)…. point is that if we feel like we have to battle it or take a position of struggling against it, we find it’s all so much harder.

So many times in life we think something shouldn’t be what it is.

We deny reality or fight against how things ‘are’ and use all kinds of tactics to deny reality somehow.  It’s exhausting.

We can make this comparison with the Christian way of thinking about life being a struggle against a devil and having to fight the evil–this kind of mentality.

Another way of thinking is to simply not think–but what I really mean is allowing whatever ‘it is’ to be what ‘it is’ without the judgment.

Judgment is the christian way of dealing with life I think which comes from an idea of an ideal perfected state that we all must strive for but know we will never achieve (because they tell us that in their dogma), rather than the opposite which is giving up that fight and becoming free.

Does that mean that we don’t try to be better humans or that we stop doing our best?  That’s not what I’m saying.  

I’m talking about not beating one’s self up because of ‘what is’ or what isn’t during any given moment.  I’m writing here about not struggling against it or making the self wrong somehow in the process.

The last 15 minutes of intervals my legs burn and I’m breathless–it’s part of life at that moment and I accept that and don’t fight against it or resist it.

When anything in happens in life, I can draw from that ability to accept what is actually happening without judgment or without making myself or Life Itself wrong.  It is, after all, what is.

When my legs are burning, I don’t attach to the feeling–I let them burn.

When I’m right on the edge of breathlessness, I let it be and don’t fight against the feeling.

If I grunt or groan or tense my muscles or make a face, it’s only making it harder to simply flow with ‘what is’ in that moment.  Life is like that.  Life ‘is’ and there’s a certain amount of being okay with it and not judging it but simply noticing it that is very freeing, liberating.

Someone thinks a lot during meditation time.  No need to fight that.  Simply notice it without assigning a meaning or beating self up in any way.

Someone feels angry.  I’m not saying to act the anger out and of course we shouldn’t totally repress it but one way to handle it is to notice it as simply being ‘what is’ in that moment.  Or maybe for the whole day the feeling is there.  In noticing it one is standing outside of it and this juxtaposition is causing separation from it emotionally.

Just like “the leg’s are burning, let ’em” that happen during my workout.  It is what is and nothing last forever!  ‘It is’ until it isn’t anymore and the less we can attach to it and the more we simply notice it without emotion or resistance, the realization comes clearly that nothing last forever.  That’s the nature of reality:  impermanence.

And impermanence is a blessing.

Acceptance of ‘what is’ in any moment is liberating and elevating.

Judgment of what is in any moment is attachment and suffering.

That’s one difference between Christianity and Buddhism although there are many good similarities as we all know.

Acceptance is surrender and surrender is Divine!

Just my two cents, hoping to have expressed this in a way that’s understandable.

Psychic Messages through Animal Presences

downloadThere is a certain little animal (kinda cute really) who is very misunderstood and creates a healthy respect for it’s power when people encounter it. I can sort of relate to that description in a way for my own self.

This little animal is a loner and doesn’t get out of the way of any other animal, going it’s own way and is sort of in it’s own world and is self confident in that way. This animal is peaceful and pretty much fearless. I found that out last night. They move slowly and calmly–also similar to myself I think; or as I perceive myself to be anyway.

This animal, if it feels threats, will strike back but only as a very last resort. I am this way too. They give warnings first if they are going to strike back at a predator and I’d like to think that I do too.

This animal will draw in people at times and other times they repel others or people disappear. I laugh but can relate to this pattern in myself too and am okay with it preferring for people to leave me alone on occasion. There are times to draw people in and times to avoid others. I think that’s true for everyone really.

The animal I am referring to has markings that replicate and indicate kundalini or life force energy.

It is said when this animal shows up around you, it brings the message about using the life force energy and creative energy effectively.

This animal is also very quiet or silent and does not make bragging or barking noises and doesn’t announce itself but just don’t threaten it.

This animal can adapt to most any situation and I can be this way too… making the best of things or focusing on the silver lining so-to-speak.

This animal is more active at night and I similarly am more nocturnal.

PSYCHIC MESSAGE/MEANING: They say that when this animal shows up in your life in any way that it means that you will have opportunities to bring out new respect and self-esteem and to focus on self-image.

This bushy, fluffy black and white animal graced my back porch eating from the food I leave out for the stray cats.

I turned on the porch light and tapped on the window and started to open the door to create sound for this critter to move so I could tell what it was from the distance.  Hmmm… is that a raccoon?

But this little ball of fluff just kept on eating barely bothered until there was excessive noise from the door (that sticks) starting to open and then moseyed off ever so slowly in its own slow, methodical sweet ole’ timing.

Yep, a skunk is what it was, as it raised its little head in response to the increasing noise that I was making and started to leave, the white kundalini stripe down it’s back was more than obvious!

My next thought, what message does it bring for me?  Thus, this blog.

PS– like I said, it was kinda cute actually… or so says the shaman within

Personal Tarot Traits – 9 of Wands dig’s deep and keeps the pace spinning on a spin bike

Personal Tarot Traits – Relating Personal Daily Experiences to a Daily Tarot Card

The 9 of Wands spinning on a spin bike!

spin bike 9 wands collage[9 of Wands — Nobody else can put me to task if I’ve already learned how to do that for myself.]

“Crank up the resistance… get off the seat and up on the pedals… Dig in! Push, push, push!  Drive, drive, drive… think of something you’ve always wanted and pretend all you have to do is to speed up a little bit more and it’s yours… dig, dig, dig!  One, two, one two.  Now’s a good time to remember why you’re doing this.  Fifteen more seconds…. you’re almost there… up and over that hill… give it a little bit more up and over the top… 5, 4, 3, 2 AND ONE! You’re there.  Good job, back it down.”

Breathless.  A sip of water.  Reviewing the effort.  How well did I stay on the pace? Did I keep up with the beat of the music?    Did I back it off at any point — why?  How can I avoid that next time?  Thinking about the effort…. another sip of water… keeping  the pedals moving… checking my heart rate monitor… remembering the watts and RPM numbers when I glanced down at the monitor and how well I held the RPM’s that I had in mind for that workout. 

Nine of Wands!  It relates to “keeping the pace”, knowing how to hang-in because of past experiences, yet also about the possibility of being one’s own worst enemy.  I’m not competitive with others–never have been really–not in the way athletes can be.  I compete against my self, my past performances and my own personal goals and ideals.

Persevering despite set backs is another quality of the 9 of wands energy.  I nearly laugh as I typed that line just now–setbacks.  I’ve gained weight, lost weight, gained it back and lost it again over this past year.  Talk about setbacks!   But they were all of my own doing — my own worst enemy.  That self-sabotage stuff can relate to this card as it applies to fighting one’s way back from setbacks.

All it takes is two weeks’ off from exercise and you start loosing fitness levels.  Oh, how I’ve experience the one throughout my life!

Keyword meanings for this card are these:  perseverance and stamina.  Sometimes we have to “hold it together” through sheer will and while this is something we are challenged with emotionally often if we can hold tough physically, it helps us to do so emotionally too.

Sometimes in life we have to continue despite fatigue!  We push onward no matter how tired we are and the more times in life we do this, the stronger we become.  Strength of heart, of will, of mind as well as the physical body are developed in this way — or so has been my experience.

On the bike there are times my legs are screaming and I just have to let them and not resist or fight against the effort that I’m making because if I don’t stay relaxed chances are high that I won’t reach my goal.  Determined effort.

This is the card that I pulled yesterday — 9 of Wands.  At some point in the 30-minute interval workout all the bikes were filled with riders and I wondered how many of us were competing in some way with the rider either side of them or at least pretending to in order to assist in their workout.

I thought of the other riders yesterday as all those rods surrounding the single human on the card.  I don’t mind being surrounded by others in that way and realized that ultimately I ride alone and like it that way.

If you work with tarot, maybe you will think of my spin bike experiences as you consider the card meanings in a reading.  I know that I will.   I love divination; just sayen’.

PS — I think of spinning as a meditation in learning to keep present, not letting mind drift.

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ADDENDUM – WHY AND WHEREFORE’S OF THESE TYPES OF POSTS

In the morning when I first awaken, I let guidance come in and do a waking dream for the day ahead. On one of these occasions recently I received a directive in the form of an idea laced with intensity. “Draw a card at the beginning of the day and reflect on its meaning and then revisit it at day’s end correlating the day’s experiences with the card.” That’s the treasure at the end of the rainbow so-to-speak. Doing so gives insight into the world of divination for the purpose of adding layers or additional traits to the tarot card meaning. This deeper understanding to the cards can be applied for use when doing future readings. It’s like letting Life Itself teach us the cards.

Personal Tarot Traits – Four of Swords validates the Hush of May

Personal Tarot Traits – Relating Personal Daily Experiences to a Daily Tarot Card

4 of swordsYou remember that ’60’s song, “There’s a Kind of Hush All Over the World” –??  Life sort of feels like THAT lately in a good way.  It relates to the 4 of Swords.  I’ve always wondered if this is the real Death card of Tarot in disguise.  So is he dead or just napping or perhaps meditating?  Either way, this card screams out “Take a breather!” and “Hush!”

Mercury has just turned retrograde (May 18, 20105), maybe the 4 of Swords is in alignment with that vibe.  Nevertheless, I was just sayen’ yesterday (in fact) how the energy is a bit funky–incommunicado; like everyone is on the far side of the Moon where we don’t get the transmissions.  It didn’t take long for me to connect the dots after drawing this card relating it to what I was just sayen’  about work this month.  I have looked for other connections as I reviewed my day yesterday and that’s the only connection there seems to be.  So I’ll go with it and write about it.

My work has been very slow so far this month; my email has been mostly spam in May and my voice mailbox has been unusually quiet too.  Used to be that this worried the heck outta’ me but I’ve gotten accustomed to these kinds of doldrums and tend to think of it as The Universe (or Divine Intelligence — you name it) giving me time off for good behavior.  AKA a vacation!  Being forced in some way to “take a breather”; to chill~ax.

In most cards depictions of the 4 of swords, the swords are seen being put aside.  Work/ action/ socialization is being put aside in favor of retreat, rest, recovery and/or recuperation and vacation in some way.

There is a need for being grounded — that’s another archetype of this card.  In the herbal tarot deck this is depicted so clearly as the human is laying on the ground with his head and shoulders against a rock; a very grounding image.

The other obvious message of this card is not to struggle against whatever is going on in the life now and be open to insight.

For me right now it is a reminder to be flexible with the ups and downs of life.  I get better at it all the time.

Memorial Day weekend is fast approaching.  Folks are planning a long weekend  and with the weather warmer and vacation time just ’round the corner, kids about out of school, graduation time at hand for many, it’s just a switch in the focus of energy.

There’s a kind of hush…. in a good way.  It’s time for a breather for all of us and after very busy times,  it’s best to rest while one can (and enjoy it!) because “sure as shooten'” as the saying goes (without a doubt) the pace will pick up again; that’s how life goes!

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ADDENDUM – WHY AND WHEREFORE’S OF THESE TYPES OF POSTS

In the morning when I first awaken, I let guidance come in and do a waking dream for the day ahead. On one of these occasions recently I received a directive in the form of an idea laced with intensity. “Draw a card at the beginning of the day and reflect on its meaning and then revisit it at day’s end correlating the day’s experiences with the card.” That’s the treasure at the end of the rainbow so-to-speak. Doing so gives insight into the world of divination for the purpose of adding layers or additional traits to the tarot card meaning. This deeper understanding to the cards can be applied for use when doing future readings. It’s like letting Life Itself teach us the cards.

Personal Tarot Traits – I was the Knight of Swords!

Personal Tarot Traits – Relating Personal Daily Experiences to a Daily Tarot Card

Knight_of_SwordsI was the Knight of Swords.  This card is about obeying one’s own Spirit!  I was the Knight of Swords yesterday… well, at least there was me personifying this archetype.  I spoke my truth.  I was brave.  Someone (like me) with a lot of “people pleasing” and “confrontational avoiding” Libra in a birth chart finds that a challenge.

I took some action involving communicating something that represented my personal truth yesterday.  We could say that I defended my own truth which took a bit of courage in a way that is untypical of me.

(By the way, I’m not referring to anything having to do with yesterday’s King of Swords–I’m writing about an entirely different life experience.)

Sometimes when we do this kind of thing — speak our mind  honestly or make a decision that is in alignment with our inner wisdom — especially if we’re not accustomed to doing so — we may feel a pang of concern about it afterward.  Did I create karma or set into motion something that may come back to bite me?

When I drew this card yesterday,  I had no idea what it could mean for the day ahead. My own habit when I see a knight of any suit is to think “change” in some way. Perhaps “change” was true to some extent yesterday as well since, one thing leading to the next, I ended up changing my office arrangement again!  Which in this small apartment is like putting together a jigsaw puzzle.  LOL   As I was moving things around the apartment I thought of the Knight of Swords and of my usual tendency to think “change” with this card.   And of course “action” is another keyword that comes to my mind.  So those things fit with my office rearranging.

Yet, the other archetype here has to do with words, verbal stuff, communication — we’re talking about swords after all associated with air and Gemini energy.

The day before we had the King of Swords giving his speech at the local YMCA, but the Knight speaks more in personal terms, expressing personal opinions and ideals and … simply speaking his own mind in a more personal or one-on-one manner.

Yet, the Knight of Swords has to be careful not to be self-serving in his communication and aggressiveness has no place when speaking one’s truth either.

Upon self-examination I don’t think aggressiveness applies and the self-serving part is still up in the air (pardon the pun),  but I call following my intuition, even though it was rather impulsive, something that is fair for all concerned.

How do I know it was my intuition guiding me to speak my truth?  Well, first of all there was a feeling and secondly, there was that familiar thing that happens when I sort of watch that energy that comes in and takes over.  Overpowering confidence and calmness cover the whole scene as well.  That’s how it is when a higher part of me takes over.  It’s happened before, and I recognize it.  The reader may have to take my word for that one.

Moving bravely in pursuit of one’s ideals and honest truth despite any cost and allowing the higher mind and intuition to work without fear or apprehension are descriptions of the Knight of Sword’s energy.  That’s how it acts in the psyche and the world.

Allowing one’s self to be “daring”–that’s a good way to express it.  And that’s what I did yesterday.  Daring myself to speak my truth in way that wasn’t forceful, just matter of fact.

This Knight of Swords doesn’t control his horse but allows himself to lunge forward ‘with’ the horse.

When one obeys one’s own Spirit (my personal experience correlates this fact), the gift that comes is one of avoiding ugly and unnecessarily unpleasant situations.

In astrological terms (if you are an astrology buff) we could think of the Knight of Swords as the aspect called the “opposition”.

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ADDENDUM – WHY AND WHEREFORE’S OF THESE TYPES OF POSTS 

In the morning when I first awaken, I let guidance come in and do a waking dream for the day ahead.  On one of these occasions recently I received a directive in the form of an idea laced with intensity.   “Draw a card at the beginning of the day and reflect on its meaning and then revisit it at day’s end correlating the day’s experiences with the card.”  That’s the treasure at the end of the rainbow so-to-speak.  Doing so gives insight into the world of divination for the purpose of adding layers or additional traits to the tarot card meaning.  This deeper understanding to the cards can be applied for use when doing future readings.  It’s like letting Life Itself teach us the cards.