I’m writing this after returning from the gym and thus recovering from a high-intensity athletic training class. The body was content to settle into meditation and then to write this. I’ve learned that no one starts out as a perfect meditator and that each session is different. Sometimes it is peaceful; other times frustrating because the mind wants to wander; yet, either way, there’s still so much to learn about my own nature.
When insights into problems that affect my happiness enter during a session, the effort seems well worth it. . Sometimes, there is only calmness and that’s alright too—having expectations becomes a hindrance to the process. Silent present-moment awareness that is highly acute and wherein thought is abandoned opens the door to the cosmos on such a level that the body awareness dissolves and thus the self merges with the beauty of silence. A bit of an awkward sentence as my words can sometimes be when writing about my meditation experiences. Yet, at times during meditation, I feel restless. >>Read More
I am going to post this on each of my website blogs as well as my newsletter. Why? Some information that recently crossed my path explained many of my meditation experiences of the past and currently as well. Many students of the psychic development class and those interested in spiritual and psychic/intuitive development may have had similar ‘signs’ of their spiritual progress or evolution.
Before I go into what those are, it’s probably best to offer the disclaimer that if one looks for these signs or tries to manifest them, they will be blocking their energy and possibly delaying further consciousness expansion in some way. My teachers have always guided me not to get “hung up” on manifestations and to take with a grain of salt. It is just the natural process of the mind—don’t be overly concerned, they’d say.
If you have read much on my website (www.psychicjoystar.com), you will see that I’ve mentioned mysterious occurrences that came about as part of my meditative absorption over the years. Those were a total and complete mystery to me until this past week!
The history of experience for this life has always evolved in a way that much later explanations arrive that validate occurrences and I’ve always been grateful for that as it assures me that there was no conscious influence on my part.
As many readers may know, my tendency is to reach toward eastern philosophy my deeply personal effort to understand life, the mind, and of reality itself. My studies and meditation time have not been in vain and have helped me to cope with some very difficult life circumstances. Yet, there were always those mysterious events lingering in the memory of my mind. Up until now, there were not fully explained in any kind of satisfactory way.
Then this past week there comes the information that does so! I simply must share it. It will be a brief outline and I will paraphrase some of it while keeping true to the text. I will add some personal notes in parenthesis. I hope this will be of use to others.
The signs of meditative concentration are known as “nimitta” and include the following:
For beginners, it is usually grey smoke color appearing in front of them. When this occurs, the instruction is to concentrate on the natural breath; and gradually then, the breath and nimitta will become one. In this stage the mind usually stays automatically will become one. (Personal note: when I would go hiking and be breathing more heavily, I would see more of this grey smoke in front of me. By the way, it started out looking like black ink in the atmosphere, as if someone dumped a bucket of black ink in the sky. I could see around it and through it and then gradually it lightened.)
As meditative concentration develops further, the gray smoky nimitta will change in color to white. (This is exactly what happened to me.) This is given the name of “the learning sign”. As one continues to concentrate on the learning sign, the white form nimitta will change to a transparent nimitta and this is called “the counterpart sign”. (I was in Sedona, Arizona atop a mountain at the time this occurred. That was sometime in the late 1990’s. I was still working as a Physical Therapist at the time.) The instruction in the text is that one should concentrate on the transparent nimitta until a state of full absorption is reached.
The text says that unless one sees the counterpart sign, the meditative attentiveness or concentration is superficial. (Again, I did not have any of this information until a few days ago and therefore did not know of the instruction to concentrate on the transparent nimitta.)
(In the eastern philosophy, the word used to describe these stages of meditation is called “jhana”. I did not know that word until this past month actually. And there is the discussion on audios that I’ve heard about maintaining states of absorption for 2 and 3 hours at a time without interruption. This I was able to do when living alone in the mountains many times. Since I’ve moved from the seclusion of the mountains–for approximately the past 6 years—that is rarely the case.)
The text says that once a person’s meditation practice is very clear they will, one day, see small particles, called “kalapas”. When one see’s kalapas, they have reached the last stage of samatha(serenity/calm/tranquility) and the beginning stage of vipassana (insight/seeing things as they really are). At this stage, one understands reality as small particles.
I must pause here to explain that this next part totally blew me out of my seat, so-to-speak! I wrote about this on my website eons ago and this occurred, also, in the late 1990’s just before I moved (from Florida) to the mountains of North Carolina. Here it is nearly 20 years later and it is only now that I understand what all of these experiences were about! The book in which this information is contained was published in 2008, ten years ago. Yet, it has taken me nearly all of the past ten years to adjust to the huge transitions in my life and to release a significant karmic relationship connection. It hasn’t been until recently that my personal journey has directed me back to seek deeper levels of meditation, reaching for Samadhi again. Anyway, this light, so white and so bright and it occurred when I was meditating on a star in the sky at twilight one evening. I felt myself moving toward it and then the white brilliant light sort of frightened me. It was everywhere I looked and lasted a good chunk of time and it faded finally as I looked at a large pine tree. I’ve never seen it again all these many years.
The text says that there is a visual-like nimitta which is ‘the best one’. (Again, the word nimitta means sign/mark/appearance.) It is not seen with the physical eye. It is purely a mental phenomenon. It appears as if it is like a headlight in front of you, incredibly brilliant, so much so that you don’t think you can stare at it any longer. (At the time I thought perhaps I drew the star right down in front of me – I’d been staring at a star during meditation at the time.) This is not a visual thing at all and even though it is like looking at the sun, it is quite safe, because it is a pure metal image—according to the text.
If one tries to have any such experiences as described, the effort actually blocks the meditator’s tranquil absorption. Actually, I recall trying to stare at a star again at various times in the past and could not reproduce that event –or any other unusual experiences of my past for that matter.
I wanted to put this out today so that it may be helpful to others. Maybe I will save someone 20 years of wondering and never really knowing what those signs are really about!
The text that I’ve been referring to is called “The Experience of Samadhi” by Richard Shankman and the specific information at nimitta were from interviews with Pa Auk Sayadaw, the abbot of a Forest Monastery in Burma and Ajahn Brahmavamso, who studied with Venerable Ajahn Chah and is the abbot of Bodhinyana Monastery and Spiritual Director of the Buddhist Society in Australia.
I am so personally grateful to them for the information shared in the text which has helped me considerably and renewed my meditative effort.
May it be that this information reaches the right person for the right reasons and be of the highest service.
Let me start with the words “Universal Intelligence” — two words. Concepts. Assigned meanings. What meaning? Well, synchronistic guidance received in meaningful timing that is too unmistakable, too precise to be considered accidental.
Is this the Universal Soul communicating with this soul? or the “Knowing” that I’ve heard called Sati? But that word, Sati, may not be the right word for this. Unsure. Anway…
Applying more than these few words, in order to define this type of magic, isn’t all that useful anyway. Besides, this type of going-on is likely not to be that unusual really. It’s probably a stimulated manifestation based on intention. Yet, in this lifetime, it seems always to be connected to spiritual goals which to me lends it a higher conceptual name. The precise name is not useful really for a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, as Shakespeare said.
This divine magic has been experienced like being directly guided and supported as if by a master teacher or some overseer of my life who knows exactly what is being learned, and how it applies to my evolution.
Its as if there is some wise being making sure that what is needed is provided in exactly the right timing to apply to the next lesson. It’s not easy to put into words. Its happened time and again–too many times to recount.
Yet, here’s the most recent example that stimulated me to write about it in this blog post today . . .
Within days of reading about a particular (somewhat complicated) spiritual teaching and meditation method, the book material was being contemplated. Next thing, with barely any conscious awareness of how I got to the website, there before me I found myself looking at pages of audio teachings from numerous teachers on a host of varied subjects.
Randomly, I clicked on one of the hundreds of links and found myself listening to the identical teaching that I’d just read about in the book, explaining it further! It was of great benefit to me. Prior to the random click, there was no hint externally that the audio would further explain the written material. Yet, it was no accident!
This type of event has occurred often enough for me to release any doubt whatsoever of some divine force guiding the internal and external experiences of my life.
Patterns. Where does one start? They’re everywhere it seems–these life patterns! Astro Study and Dharma Study are both clear about them. I’ve studied them through the dharma talks given by eastern teachers but noticed them long before any formal studies. And the astrological study, you know planetary movements, has also supported my observations about patterns too–the same planet in the same place as it moves around the zodiac. Luminary Moon hits the same digs every month and the Sun every year and so on; each planet moving at different speeds but as they aspect one another, they tend to produce the same type of event or experience. The Facebook “On This Day” Memories application submits to you a list of all posts you made on that day and includes re-posts from that day in previous years. Patterns are clearly there from my very own posts blatantly screaming back at me, “Notice!”
Patterns! A head cold or medical issue repeating the same time each year, moving during the same month (sometimes to the day) in certain years–it goes on ad nauseum: neighbor issue, financial concern, trips with family, even weather systems which have not to do with my own personality.
What are these anyway? I’ve come to some thoughts to put down for myself and you too if you are still reading this. Karma! But hold on buster–not in the way most people think of the word. It’s only a word that means “action” and is a result of “causes and conditions”, some of which are not personal.
Better not to complicate this bit of writing (which I don’t intend to go on much longer here); therefore, best not to get into an explanation of the non-self. So, just sticking to the causes and conditions bit, accumulated energy will tend to repeat at times when conditions support it to do so.
Why does it repeat? I’m going to narrow it down to the undesirable parts–those parts about the personality that makes me cringe to think about them. Those patterns–that’s where this post is headed. There a good patterns too which we are creating in each and every moment actually, but . . .
Focusing further on the patterns such as anger at certain things or we could use a nicer word: aversions. I don’t want to deal with those anymore but causes and conditions accumulate to store those patterns, those aversions and surprisingly there are times they find their way to the surface from deep down in groundconsciousness.
It seems that past conditions have caused me to react with aversion and it has become a habit, a pattern that has been repeated And it’s not been until my later years here (late bloomer), that there’s not even been a conscious connection.
Now I see the pattern or one could say there is now a ‘me’ who is aware of them and with that awareness comes the observer–this creating distance between the aversion and the awareness. Sometimes reactions still happen; yet, with the newly awakened awareness of the pattern which has become gradually more conscious over many years, those reactions are minimal and mostly internally worked out. This decreases any future punch that they may hold.
How to proceed? Its a matter of creating new causes and conditions and not taking the old karma personal. When the aversion arises, one can realize that it comes from prior reactions that have been stored — maybe not even from the current lifetime. Who knows? Anyway, its what this person (personality named Joy) has to deal with, but it isn’t me and isn’t personal and it does not really come from “now”–it arises from past causes and conditions (karma), remember?
What of it? The idea is to begin to create new causes and conditions, stronger than the old perhaps and certainly more imbued with love, joy, compassion, patience and the numerous good qualities and virtues we desire to embrace which increase our happiness and peace. New actions, new karma! And also the goal is to have compassion for the personality self. And by doing this we achieve the desire remain awake for the benefit of all others as well as the self here.
That which recognizes the pattern of aversion or even responds to the aversion has no aversion.
How to remain awake? Here we go! Back on the bandwagon about meditation. And meditation simply means being aware of what is going on inside one’s own head and heart. Not getting carried away by fantasy or letting thoughts drag you all over the darn place!
I do write newslettersfrequently that include a lot of information regarding awareness and meditation since it’s a huge part of psychic development.
There. We’re at the end of the post and worked it out for us maybe. Yes? Well, no matter (pun intended)–gave it a whirl and gave the self a talking to at the same time.
A well’a bless my soul
What’sa wrong with me?
I’m itchin’ like a man in a fuzzy tree
My friends say I’m actin’ wild as a bug
I hadda’ MRI
I’m all shook up!
Well, please don’t ask me what’sa on my mind
I’m a little mixed up, but I’m feelin’ fine
I hadda’ MRI
I’m all shook up!
(If you have been around a while, like me, you are familiar with those song lyrics!)
OH, DON’T GET ME WRONG; THERE ARE REAL ADVANTAGES AND I WANTED THE MRI PERFORMED. This post is about something personal–fair warning. But if you are sensitive to energy and to your own body, and if you need an MRI, maybe something here will be, in a small way, useful.
I hadn’t really considered any side effects of an MRI. They are minimal in the grand scheme of things, I suppose; yet, consider the subject to be worthy of a write-up. So, here goes . . .
It wasn’t until later in the day (yesterday) when alone that . . . well, that the “out of sorts” feeling was clear. It was evident that something was energetically wrong and of course, I knew why. The MRI naturally.
It was subtle, but I am sensitive, a psychic. My own body’s natural electromagnetic field, especially in the area of my neck and brain (cervical scan) were rocked and rolled yesterday–and shook every which way but lose.
Which is, apparently, the method behind the MRI madness in the first place… the body’s own magnetic energy field gets confused and sends out a signal of some-such that the MRI machine picks up the confused atoms as images. I think something close to that goes on anyway.
Here’s a Google blurb about the science behind what happens:
How does an MRI scan work? The MRI machine is a large, cylindrical (tube-shaped) machine that creates a strong magnetic field around the patient. The magnetic field, along with radio waves, alters the hydrogen atoms’ natural alignment in the body. Pulses of radio waves sent from a scanner knock the nuclei in your atoms out of their normal position. As the nuclei realign back into proper position, the nuclei send out radio signals. These signals are received by a computer that analyzes and converts them into a two-dimensional (2D) image of the body structure or organ being examined.
All I know is that last evening after the scan… there was the re-living the whole MRI, banging sounds included. Like someone who re-lives a trauma–like an auto accident or a similar disturbing event. I was surprised by the flashbacks of the whole thing; truly. After a bit of momentary disorientation on the table just after coming out, then I thought, “Okay, Done deal. It’s over. Moving right along with my life now….”
Yet, the residual feeling experienced as the day wore on was one that would be expected if someone had grabbed me by the shoulders and shook the heck outa’ me. I distracted myself with TV and then reading. I had some trouble pulling my energy together for any kind of quality meditation and felt too wiped out to do any yoga.
I found myself snacking late into the night in a misguided way to restore order. That’s my old pattern! The first sign of a problem, find something to eat. Fell right into that one.
This morning I still feel somewhat shaken–similar to the feeling of when first set free from the MRI coffin-like machine. Oh, was I glad to be let out of there!
Alright. Facts. My body has been bending, lifting, turning and twisting for 70 years now. Nothing lasts forever. Impermanence: a fact of life. Degeneration of the cervical spine can cause radiating pain, numbness, weakness in shoulders, arm, and hand –my symptoms exactly. Nothing lasts forever, especially the human body. Decades of bending, lifting, turning, and twisting can really take their toll on your neck and in my case cause radiating numbness in shoulders, arm and hand… mostly at night when sleeping, go figure.
How about the MRI’s benefits? Well, I got to see the photo images which were given to me on a CD before leaving the hospital outpatient facility. Uploaded it to my computer to view when I got home and with my minimally medically trained eyes, do see some degeneration of the vertebrae and some disc herniating toward the spinal cord. Yet, just what the radiologist will make of the images and what the recommendation, if any, will be handed out, is unclear to me still at this time. My general intuitive impression is not much can be done and maybe a cervical pillow and new mattress could help too as the symptoms show up when sleeping.
Nighttime numbness (and a bit of pain) increases just as the upper body strength training that I’ve been doing increases the strength in the shoulders and arms. It’s a rock and hard place kind of scenario.
All in all, feeling shook up for a little while (this too shall pass) is probably a small price to pay in order to know a few things about my body. Speaking of shook up, what brought this all to a head (pun intended) was a recent freakish wind event that caused an object to hit me on the side of the head. Resulting vertigo (another blast from the past so-to-speak) which could have come from an inner ear issue. Or from something in the neck which is what I hope the MRI will clarify. Oh, what a tangled web!
My greatest celebratory moments today will be knowing that I can swallow as much as desired. THAT was difficult to NOT DO except between each of the long scans of the MRI. Really? Yeah, the guy said, don’t breathe too deeply. Okay, got that, no problem. Then said, don’t swallow until you hear the MRI banging stop. Huh? Crazy! I did my best.
No more MRI magnet banging issues and go ahead… swallow anytime and all you want, Joy!
Those last words… my happy thoughts for today.
PS — My habit is to write things out of my system. Blogs are so useful for that purpose. This post has been therapy in that way. I also wrote it for others who may feel a bit weird after an MRI to know they’re not alone. I did have those side effects from my MRI and if I did, others who are tuned into their body and vibes, in general, are likely to as well.
The Goddess Pallas? Where is she in your birth chart? Where is she transiting currently for you? I’ve written about CERES and one post about the group of Pallas/Athena, Juno, and Vesta. Now that I’ve taken a deeper look at CERES in a singular post, the goal is to do the same with Pallas and then Juno as well, as time permits anyway.
Disclaimer: Probably, it should be mentioned that I suffered a significant blow to my head in a freak event involving wind. And while it may be wishful thinking that I’m no worse for the wear, this post writing is being used as a distraction from a headache. Bottom line: I hope this will make sense to the reader, despite some type of concussion being part of it all.
Now. That said. One thing here is that Pallas rules Aquarius—or so the greater astrological minds tell us. My own natal Pallas is located in the sign Aquarius— making my Pallas, that particular part of my psyche, strong for that reason. She is known to be the protectress and thus the glyph is shaped like a spear. She is said to represent the polarities of courage and its opposite, fear.
In addition to ruling Aquarius (air), she rules Leo (fire)—so she brings together creativity (Leo/fire) and mental qualities (Libra and Aquarius/Air).
She is thought to be the Goddess of Wisdom and Justice in addition to the previously mentioned Protectress.
Rounding out the generalities about Pallas, she is often pictured with an owl and spear as well as shield.
The myth involving Jupiter is that she was born from his head which infuses her with the male/warrior vibe along with the wisdom that she is known for.
Our style of perception and intelligence level can be described in our horoscope by the state of Pallas in our chart; well, at least so sayeth the elder astrological soothsayers.
Inspired vision, intuition, curiosity, genius and exceptional perception and the capacities for same are also to be determined by the state of one’s Pallas in their chart.
Challenges to perception can be determined by so-called stressful aspects to Pallas. Yet, visualization ability and the capacity to perceive in wholes (seeing whole patterns) and to coordinate informational systems is indicated by aspects to Pallas.
PERSONAL EXPLORATION OF PALLAS
Here comes a personal piece: My Jupiter (4th house in Scorpio) is square to my Pallas which brings in the right brain/intuition qualities of Jupiter with Pallas and that is what (I believe) helps me in my study of astrology and with my intuitive ability. Correlating and blending many bits of information to determine the larger picture is especially helpful in seeing the patterns in an astrological chart and in any psychic work. Pallas/Jupiter aspects are known for blending and correlating information. Therefore, I appreciate my Pallas/Jupiter square especially because of that and also that aspect and the energy in our psyche known as Pallas is understood to govern healing techniques (including self-healing), visualization, meditation, mind control, hypnosis and the like.
Personally, again, my 7th HousePallas is trine Venus (in Libra/3rd) and Pallas is trine Uranus (Retro in Gemini/11th). Also, Pallas is opposing Saturn (in Leo) in my natal chart.
The elder astrologers tell us that in the mythology of Pallas, she operated as a “woman in a man’s word”, being accepted as a colleague or equal in the world of men. My own natal Pallas Saturn opposition, I believe,touches on that theme based on my life experiences.
Pallas in Aquarius (such as mine) represents futuristic perceptions and also carries an indication of the revolutionary quality to the psyche. In this 7th house of (the other/s), it indicates that the soul/psyche of the individual (myself in this example) possesses strong meditating and counseling abilities – or so it says in the books that astrologers have written about Pallas. This fits, of course, with me in that this is the work that I do and meditation is a strong focus in my life. I could add that the Saturn opposition to Pallas from the 12th house brings the spiritual (12th house ruled by Neptune) quality into the work that I do—Saturn rules work/career/cosmic job in one’s birth chart. Again, I think of the aspect of opposition as a blending energy rather than the more negative qualities associated with that aspect.
My own Pallas trine Venus aspect seems an important one as Venus is culminating at the 29° degree of Libra in my natal chart, signaling the culmination of that Venus energy in some way. The Energy is fully developed in other words—or so the wiser astrologers tell us anyway. Venus here is in the 3rd house so here we would have to include the 3rd house communication piece in the interpretation. And as Venus easily works with (trine) Pallas, here we have again harmonious (Venus) communication of a counseling (7th house) nature. It all fits with the work that I do and I am finding this exploration very validating of my life.
I mentioned earlier about Pallas square Jupiter in my chart. Jupiter symbolizes the search for truth and meaning. The square here brings up in my own life the red flag of being ethical and remaining in integrity (truthful) with my work. I am highly aware that it is, in some cases, too easy to take advantage of people when doing readings and my inner Pallas/Jupiter energy signals me very strongly to remain ethical in my work.
Pallas is trine to Uranus in my chart, which was also mentioned earlier—another harmonious aspect (trine). So here we are talking about levels of mind when we talk about Uranus. My Uranus is especially strong as it is located in my 11th house—the house that it rules, making it significant there. Uranus is retrograde which makes this part of my psyche finely tuned inwardly. Telepathic and intuitive abilities are a significant part of this Pallas-Uranus aspect. As a Uranus trine Pallas aspect with the understanding that Uranus has a strong connection with astrology (per the teachers of the subject), my ability to counsel (7th house Pallas) others and befriend all types of people, creatively assist others using higher channels of intuition as well as astrological counseling . . . well, this aspect is another that seems to be right on and fit my life experiences perfectly.
I really love astrology for its ability to validate not only my life but the life of my clients. It’s true that some of the aspects can play out in various ways but when doing astrology, one must always anchor into the natal north and south nodes and their aspects while doing an interpretation.
In my natal chart, Pallas squares the natal nodes at a 4° orb, indicating that this energy has played out in my past lifetimes (South Node) or at least has been pre-wired in my psyche and is meant to be playing out in this current lifetime (North Node). These nodes are in my 4th (SN) and 10th (NN) houses, indicating that Pallas is destined to play a role in my cosmic job or career or at the very least in the public eye in some way as the NN / 10th house in Taurus indicates.
PALLAS IN TRANSIT
Currently, at the time of this writing February 4, 2016, Pallas is transiting my 9th house with Pallas in Taurus (interestingly enough Pallas conjuncts my natal Goddess Ceres). My own take on that combination as far as interp or meaning is as follows: teaching (9th house archetype) about Pallas and the other asteroid goddesses is indicated. This transit is a pretty clear indication that Pallas wants me to learn and teach about her as part of my North Node Taurus evolutionary goal for this time period (while Pallas is transiting my 9th house merging with her Goddess sister, Ceres who is/was there at that degree at the time of birth). The Asteroid Goddesses seem very alive in my soul/psyche at this time in my life.
In conclusion, here are just some other general tidbits and key phrases about the Archetype of Pallas:
Goddess of Wisdom
Goddess of War and Victory
Invincible in Battle
Is credited for using her wisdom to teach the populace how to settle disputes peacefully
Is often depicted as being clad in armor
Is often shown in artistry as accompanied by an owl
Patroness of the Arts
Goddess of health and healing
Possessed the gift of prophecy
I hope the reader will not find this post off-setting or confusing to read as, again, it was written on a physically challenging day following a head concussion.
It is my wish that the reader will find something validating and useful here. In adddition, here is that recently written post about Ceres that I mentioned at the start of this blog: CLICK HERE .
Energy. That’s right. You’ll know from the energy feel. It’s the feel of being alive, vibrating, and we may even say its a feeling of excitement. Life is taken to a higher level and sometimes only momentarily, longer if you’re lucky. To understand it, we have to contrast it with the times that we are ‘not’ fully present in the moment. And that is, for most of us, the majority of the time. Anytime we are contemplating the past or future — try it out for yourself through simple self-awareness — the energy is dead or flat. You’ll recognize that dead feel pretty dramatically as you compare it with moments of being fully present. You know how it goes when you’re being fully in the “now”, right?
Time stops and a surreal feeling will likely come upon you as if you have been lifted up and out and set down somewhere else all of a sudden. Everything feels different and appears different and maybe the heart quickens and chills happen. And then you flow with it as if nothing else or no one else exists.
We’ve all had those feelings.
And there are after effects. I think that it’s feeling in harmony and being in the flow of life that is an indicator that we have just been fully present and the residual of that remains with us and out-pictures as flowing with life for minutes, hours or day (s).
Then, we get shifted out of that flow by something that occurs and then our mind will attach, cling, fear, become angry or experience an aversion. Then we’re dead in the water again or not functioning effectively, have been pulled out of the flow and our vibe becomes dead again. We’re not fully alive anymore.
These are my (blog) thoughts about it anyway. I was recently reminded of this during a recent visit from my little (soon to be 2-year-old) granddaughter. The entire time we were together was a peak experience. She was fully present and brought me with her to that place of excitement.
I’m in that peak place during intense exercise workouts in which I am very focused as well as when I’m engaged in a creative project. Moments of awakening that shake us out of our mundane, dead, and routine thoughts or activities, if used correctly, are gifts.
Being on the edge of life is being in the present moment and it comes with that feeling of being fully alive.
Personally, at those times my soul, my psyche goes into a state, which in Zazen, is called shikantaza, a state of heightened concentration, patience, and alertness and this state throws me into a state of flow that lasts for hours or days. Plans change or don’t enter into mind at all and one just becomes totally spontaneous. In describing this recently someone replied, “Oh yes, if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” Yeah, alrighty then. LOL
I hope this post is found to be, in some way, helpful to the reader.