Dealing with Anxious Thoughts, Difficult Human Encounters and the World of Form; Logic versus Emotions; Relationship Triggers

Black Hole of the Emotional Depth of Being. On the other side is a beautiful and boundless enriched, exciting and exquisite new universe waiting for your entrance and experience!

Question: Just how do you know when it’s been way too long since you’ve last blogged? 

Answer:  When you have trouble getting into your own blog because you’ve forgotten your user name and password!

As I sat looking at the blank page and blinking cursor thinking what to contribute to cyberspace today, the thought that came was this.  The post that gets the most traffic on my blog is the one about eliminating anxious thoughts.  Maybe I should take this topic for another spin, I thought.

As a matter of fact, I was just yesterday speaking to a friend on that very topic.  And I do have recent experience in this area, thanks to the contributions to my life from an old bo’, whose actions (and inactions) enable me to enter black holes and come out the other side from time to time–although it’s been years, I’ve just gone through another one!  I said that pretty diplomatically, don’t you think?   It’s all true though;  dishonesty is not my forte.

Anyway, what I was saying to that friend (and this isn’t a new observation by any means) had to do with logic versus emotions.  Interestingly enough, just this week I watched that newest Star Trek movie, and that’s the theme with the character Spock–logic versus emotions.  The point I’m trying to make is that we can know things logically, yet emotionally it can be a whole other story.  And all in the same moment we can experience both simultaneously.  Humans are actually pretty amazing in that way, don’t you think? 

I’m referring to emotional triggers or what the teacher/writer/philosopher Eckhart Tolle calls the “pain body”.  Our logic can work on one level but when the trigger gets hit, logic goes out the window and a flood of emotion comes forward and suddenly its a whole new ball game. 

I like that I just used the word “game” at the end of that last sentence.  Ever notice how the miliary uses that word too?  War games!  They even use the word “theatre” when it comes to war strategy, as in “theatre of operations”.  All of this alludes to the drama that it is!  Of course, in the military theatre of war, feelings/emotions are necessarily temporarily repressed in order to achieve outcome, but as we all know what is supressed comes up and out eventually (maybe even in the next life, if not this one).  And,  then, by the time it does, these repressed emotions are usually very distorted.  

Maybe that’s what happens to all of us over many lifetimes.  And if you don’t buy into the theory of reincarnation, call it ancestral DNA if it fits better with your consciousness, but we all know babies born to the same family within the same few moments (twins) are immediately so different in their reactions to life.  Different prior life soul experiences (reincarnational baggage) accounts for this. 

So we all come in with the ”stuff” of prior lives–experiences.  And of course if we look at the history of just this one planet and consider that many of us have been here before, look at the horrendous history of humanity and the atrocities we’ve committed upon one another.  Use war as one example but in daily human interactions, do we not have a history(millions of years) of wounding one another emotionally (not to mention physically)?  Is it no wonder humanity is sometimes called the “walking wounded” in soul terms? 

So, it should be no surprise that even though we may have read every holy book available, studied the teachings of many spiritual masters, or even possess the supra-logic of a “Mister Spock”, we still get triggered from time to time emotionally.  (That is, unless we’re completely emotionally supressed.)  Anyway, that’s life.  Head versus heart:  that age-old theme. 

What do we do when we’re triggered then?  How do we manage it?  The head says one thing and the heart… the heart still feels the emotion nonetheless.  And I hear this from people all the time and I’ve even said it myself and it goes something like, “I thought I was over that, done with that, finished with that and here I am with all these feelings again… triggered, feeling that old pain again.  I thought that I learned this ‘lesson’ and was done with it!  I thought I’d moved on!” 

Sound familiar?

I think the first thing to mention here is that we can be very hard on ourselves; especially those of us who are trying to be conscious and aware of effecting our soul’s evolution.  We need to give ourselves a break; that’s the first thing. 

Our logic can tell us that we’ve dealt with these feelings but the wound is speaking a whole other language–it still hurts when we’re emotionally triggered. 

The second thing is to realize that this is all it is, an emotional trigger–no more, no less.  And, while it’s a bit of a reach for some of us, if we can feel compassion for our self at that moment and gratitude to the other soul who triggered us, we’re moving in the right direction. 

That’s what soul mates do for us, don’t you know that?  Sometimes when I hear people say, “When will I find my soul mate?”, I think something like be careful what you wish for!  That’s what soul mates do for us… they shake up our souls!

Gradually, as we remain awake and in awareness, we may see that the very same trigger occurs one day,  just as it did 5 or 10 years ago, doesn’t hurt as long.  The heart and psyche recovers more expediently. We’re over it faster–it doesn’t take as much time to recover as before. 

That, I think, is how we can mark our progress and I think we do need to mark our soul’s progress in these ways; otherwise, without being re-triggered emotionally from time-to-time how would we know we’re evolving?  This is why feeling gratitude to the soul who triggered us ( a big step ) is in proper order.  It releases karma!

Meanwhile, the wound re-opened has a tendency to use up all our attention, pulling us into the black hole of its center.  I’ve thought about that black hole at the center of the emotional pain.  Do we give into it willingly or fight it?  Or can we even fight it in the first place?  You know what they say about black holes don’t you? 

Once you get close to them they pull you in–using a line from Star Trek, “Resistance is Futile!”  Can we go through that black hole and come out in a whole new world, stranger and perhaps even more beautiful than the writers of Star Trek could even imagine?  A whole new reality!  A completely new world! 

Do we call it transformation?  Sounds like a Pluto thing… the Phoenix rising from the ashes!  Death and rebirth! 

Can we die to the pain, the emotional trigger, allow ourselves to feel it completely and fully and then come out on the other side, reborn?  I think so, I have.

So many times people don’t want to feel; they think it’s bad or wrong.  Let’s be practical, who wants to hurt?  Who wants to feel insecure, naked in the winter of a cold dark night?  So we go into avoidance behaviors so we can repress what we feel–some may drink or take drugs; anything not to feel.  Some may lash out at others, “I’m hurting and you should hurt too!”

But some have the courage not to resist the black hole and remain awake and aware through the process; going deep into one’s center, into the darkness, into the black hole of the wound that’s been triggered, so that they can enter a new reality and be reborn. 

Yet, it seems that we’ve always been encouraged by parents and society’s authority figures not to cry, not to feel, to conform, to behave, to discipline ourselves and be good little people without feelings.  Even fundamental new age teachers tell us to do that… i.e. only let the love and light in and supress the rest; deny the pain or you’re not spiritual.

“Good little christians and good little white-lighters smile and bow and pretend nothing’s ever wrong inside”. 

They tell us that we have to always be in peace, love and harmony; otherwise we’ve failed somehow–we’ve fallen.  These are, I believe, classic examples of  narrow-minded christian and new age expressions of spirit versus flesh. We’re here to merge the two–not to keep them separated.  All this talk of new age “ascension” is about this kind of thing and when I hear about the space ships will be landing to save us from our pain, that’s when I really laugh!  It is we alone who can do that by dealing with the emotional body, not suppressing it.  I think that’s why we experience so many distortions on this planet–because we’ve supressed dealing with the emotional part of ourselves. 

All it takes is simple awareness… there’s the pain body, there’s the emotional wound being re-triggered… let me take the next step toward healing… let me not avoid feeling by engaging in suppressive type behaviors… let me go into the depth and then let me come out the other side and be reborn into that new and amazing reality beyond that which the writers of Star Trek haven’t even yet imagined… let me be reborn! 

And, on a final note, having gone both ways at various times in my life, visa vi  personal experience, I can tell you that we get through it all much quicker when we stop resisting and allow ourselves to go right through that black hole of the wound. 

Some people go through years (decades or even a whole life!) of depression, feeling hopeless and sad.  That is, I believe, a demonstration of the resistance to moving through it with eyes open and being willing to feel the acuteness of the pain. 

For myself, I’d rather have a few sleepless nights or weeks and a few tears or even a small lake of them than go into a catatonic state of depression/drug use or alcoholism that could last for many years or a lifetime. 

We would be, I believe, doing ourselves a huge favor by counteracting the ideology that states that you are not “good” or “spiritual” if you feel emotional pain from time to time.  That’s crap, pure and simple.  It doesn’t mean we’ve failed in any way, shape or form if we have an old wound re-triggered; it’s only a mile marker showing us how far we’ve come and yes, perhaps how far yet we still have to go.

I’ve asked myself if I will ever stop being re-triggered.  Will the wound ever fully and completely heal?  I’m not certain that I have all the answers to this, but I do believe that at least I have the courage to see it for what it really is and to not to be afraid of it or think of myself a failure because of it. And each time I choose not to turn away from it, I move through it much quicker.  The pain is deeper, more acute, but not as long-lasting.

I’m learning about myself, about life, about The Divine, about other souls every single time it happens and so I’m not afraid of evolution and growth.  Do I like pain? Of course not–I’m not a masochist! I just realize that the less I fight it and the less I beat myself up for experiencing it, the more I grow, learn and evolve. 

And again, visa vi personal experience, I can tell you that it is oh so beautiful on the other side of that black hole.  A whole new universe!  I’ve seen so many in my lifetime!  Each one more beautiful than the one before!  Life becomes so much more enriched and exciting and exquisite on the other side! 

I hope this helps the reader who came though this blog post and out the other side to reach this line, and the period at the end of this sentence.

This is my Truth, with the capital T, for today; and while my truth is always changing, evolving – this is where it is now.  And I’m sharing it here.  Is there more I could write and should write?  Certainly this doesn’t cover the whole topic and I’m not trying to; these are just thoughts for a blog that are coming up on this day at this time.  All I can do is hope this puzzle piece is worthy to help another see a little more of the larger picture.

 I know these words will reach the right person at the right time–I trust.

My final thoughts and my truth for today:  Don’t be afraid to follow your heart, even if it hurts.  Allow the feelings, the emotions.  Don’t be afraid to go into the depth of your being and grow to Infinity and Beyond! 

PS — Thank you to the old boyfriend (and at our age, that’s quite literal) for triggering me again and helping me move into an even more beautiful reality!  See you someday on the other side!

What’s Up With This Energy On Planet Earth? What Is Really Going On?

What’s Up With This Energy On Planet Earth?

What Is Really Going On?

Here’s what the current energy pattern is REALLY all about…

 

Every soul on the planet is feeling the current energy shift in various degrees of intensity and in various life circumstances, depending upon on how the particular individual consciousness is wired. Yet, no matter in which areas of your particular life these energies play out, the overall themes still remain the same.

The current energy shift actually started in gradual degrees of intensity last February (2008)

The shift has to do with feelings and memories that arise challenging  individual emotional security issues and issues of self-image

These feelings and memories are being triggered (through life experiences and situations) for the purpose of allowing us to re-experience and re-examine emotional insecurity.

The result of the dynamic of stimulating these issues enables us to then restructure and mature the emotional nature for the purpose of growth and soul evolution

There is an approximate time-line

• The process began the early part of last year, 2008
• Eased up for a while last summer
• Re-intensified last Christmas
• On or about August 21st, 2009 the pattern became more focused and then accelerated with the three eclipses (2 Lunar, 1 Solar) which really initiated the shift of everyone’s life experience, especially on emotional levels around security issues
• Themes of emotional insecurity versus emotional security will be triggered off and on via intense life experiences over the next year and a half
• We will shift out of this pattern on or about March 3rd, 2011

Between now and January 2010 we will generally be revisiting the old emotional wounds that have to do with what makes us feel emotionally insecure

After January 2010 through June 2010 we will be less triggered by the old wounds and more focused on the emotional restructuring necessary to develop higher levels of emotional maturity

Although some of the old emotional security wounds can still be re-triggered after January 2010, our focus between January and June will be more directed to achieving a new emotional maturity structure

Between January and June 2010 we will be letting go of the old emotional structures and reaching toward the new Emotional Maturity and Security structures

Although the unique or particular type of issue and trigger-circumstance or experience will vary in each soul

There are more specific descriptions of these emotional security/maturity energy shifts…

• Self image Internalization of security on emotional levels
• Shifting the focus of security (what provides our security) from outside of ourselves to inside
• Learning that security is ultimately internally based (not external) – and these realizations can manifest in various areas of life depending on each individual soul’s evolutionary requirement
• Specific life experience categories can be triggered in each of us depending upon the individual emotional insecurity baggage that one carries which particular area.

Again, these areas vary according to the evolutionary intentions of the Soul itself and can manifest in any number of categories, including but not limited to the following…

• Personal freedom and personal identity
• Money or what is valued
• Communication—written or verbal
• Home and Family
• Creativity and self-expression
• Health issues, job issues or teacher/student issues
• Relationship Issues (These issues, if triggered via karmic necessity, will be especially intense in those who are born between 1972 and 1984)
• Dynamics of Power and Control versus Powerlessness and issues of Trust and Betrayal
• Sexuality
• Education, Travel
• Career and Public Image
• Goals and Community Connections
• Spirituality and as well as concern over what is being hidden or withheld from us

Emotional security and self-image from the past (past lives), including the early childhood of the current life, is what we are looking at and then taking that energy and creating a new internal emotional structure in this current lifetime.

Evolution of Emotional Security and Self Image and the whole emotional basis that we have within ourselves is what we’re dealing with between now and March 2011.

Generally speaking, we are always in a state of dynamic tension in the present moment between the past and the future—this is how evolutionary growth occurs. We are always in a state of tension and change relative to the past and the future. It’s just that between now and March 2011 that tension and change relates to emotional security and self image issues.

Commonly, our human tendency is to project the past forward for security reasons. The past is what we know and the future is unknown. Our human nature tendency is to want to remain in the past in order to feel secure; yet, to do this represents stagnation and non-growth.

The lesson is the ability to recognize the past and the conditioning and break-free and create anew and effect change, to evolve, to do it differently. We’re talking about the evolution of our emotional nature—the ability to evolve our self image and our ability to internalize our emotional security.

In the 18 months prior to August of this year we were working with a different set of evolutionary dynamics. We were learning to release the “What about me, who’s going to love me?” dynamic and evolve into more objectivity—a broader or less attached emotional perspective around that issues was the goal. In order to affect this, we were working in community and group areas in order to take the focus off of ‘self’ and work with others.

Now, however, we are having an entire emotional shift. Now, as we desire to evolve the emotional nature in this new energy shift, we must go back into the past and understand that emotional past in order to evolve into the future. As we make our emotional past more conscious, we can recognize the effects and the patterns of how we tend to project the past forward. By going backward to look at our emotional past patterns, we can understand it better in order to know what’s necessary to be released and to understand where we are striving to evolve into a higher level of emotional security and maturity.

Our internal security structure, on an emotional basis, is in the process of evolution—this is another way to describe what is going on with the energy now. The evolutionary energy challenges between August 2008 and March 2011 will have a direct impact on our self-image, how we see ourselves.

Our emotional self-image structure that has been accumulating over eons of time is about to change, become evolved, will be growing, and maturing. Most all emotional issues will experience will be for these purposes.

We can find that we will be experiencing emotional triggers as we experience any or all of the following will be typical–

• Revisit our old familial patterns (family issues)
• Past life memories of an emotional basis become more conscious
• Gender issues
• Parental issues of any and all types
• Nurturing issues (specifically areas where lack of nurturing have taken place)
• Emotional distortions that occurred result of eons of time in which emotional suppression
• We may have our emotional suppressions and distortions coming to the surface
• Emotions may seem to be all over the place
• Security issues of all types will be triggered
• Our emotional buttons would be easily pushed and we become easily triggered
• Internal security issues can create irrational fears on emotional levels
• Unconscious memories of when we did not feel secure in past lives are easily triggered

Emotional issues will be felt as if we are wearing our emotions on our sleeves so-to-speak Irrational fears are triggered within us due to external security circumstances—i.e. the economy

Actual experiences from past lives in which our self image and emotional security issues were traumatized will be re-triggered via current life circumstances for the purpose of growth and evolutionary change of the emotional structures

Emotional fears and triggers will tend to feel like they are coming up out of the blue sending us into rage or tears!

Emotional withdrawal periods as well as emotional animation periods will be common.

Our emotions are always in a state of evolution but even more so now. So we can go from one extreme of emotion to the next moment to moment—we can go through a whole variety of emotions within just one or two minutes!

When we have these various emotional triggers, no matter how they come, they can trigger the need for emotional withdrawal or shut down. All of the emotional reactionary energy is due the fact that there is something unconscious that is trying to make itself known—something important is trying to make its way up to the surface. We’re trying to process something emotionally within our own nature to try to figure it out. We will need to emotionally withdraw after being triggered in order to reach a state of emotional homeostasis where we can feel secure and peaceful and re-established internalized security.

At these emotional times over the next 18 months, when we are emotionally triggered and we are processing something within our emotional nature, we can benefit from asking the self…

• What is it?
• What do I need to know?
• What is it that I need to learn?
• What is the emotional pattern that is being represented?
• What is the emotional pattern that is being triggered?
• Why do I feel this way?
• What is it that keeps repeating here?
• What’s going on?

When you ask these questions over and over, it will set up your Soul and Ego into moving into a state where in whatever is unconscious to be made known.

Past life (or current lifetime past) memories come forward then to bring the answers to those questions. We can also find the answers coming in the dream-world, the dream state.

It can open you up to get a new understanding—a new ah-ha. Again, we’re all going to be going through this for the next 18 months. We will be releasing those old emotional wounds and hurts and reach a new level, an evolving level of internalized security and self-image. And we will remember that we’re going to be okay no matter what because a new evolved state of internalized security will be achieved.

I’ve just described the emotional withdrawal part of the dynamic. There is also, as previously mentioned, a cycle of emotional animation. In the emotional animation cycle we want to process through it with the other people involved—you want to share with them what you’ve figured out in the withdrawal phase when you asked those internal questions mentioned above.

We can, when discussing this process with those involved, find that we want to present that evolving self image in a new way—perhaps standing up for ourselves in a new way, dependent upon the circumstances involved. No more spiritual masochism! New emotional patterns! Healthier emotional boundaries, more fairness, more equality in giving and receiving—these things are very possibly how it will create that new secure internal emotional structure.

We can go into and out of withdrawal and animation can happen from 5 to 500 times a day and it happens on its own—it isn’t planned, the soul just reacts!

There can also be longer cycles of emotional withdrawal and animation, such as 1, 2 or 3 months at a time dependent upon the inner emotional cataclysmic events of life. We can have months at a time where nothing at all is triggered.

Therefore, any variation of timing with the intense emotional cycles can be expected. If there is resistance to the necessary emotional growth, you will be able to know this if you stay stuck in either animation or withdrawal for over 3 months at a time. In this case, special help will be required via counseling or that type of thing.

We are working on culminating the emotional issues from multiple lifetimes of the past in this process.

Advice: Go within and become conscious of the emotional triggers, evolve and create a new emotional self image and new emotional security

As we become aware of these emotional patterns and all this emotional stuff comes up and triggers us all over the place, so-to-speak, we are evolving toward emotional security and a new internalized security structure.

How do we evolve emotionally? How do we create new emotional rules? It relates to the need to have an emotional maturation process. When we look at our emotional past and understand it better, it allows us to move forward in more mature ways—we grow up.

The message over the next 18 months—time to grow up on emotional levels… this will be most acute in those born between 1972 and 1984 as was mentioned earlier. Although, this will be true for all of us in various degrees and at various times over this time period—it’s time to leave the emotional infantile part of us behind.

One of the generic lessons for all of us is to realize that the emotional issues have nothing to do with anyone or anything outside of our own self. We will, of course, attract those circumstances or those people into our life to help us work with these energies. So we should NOT blame the outside person, place or thing but rather ask the self, Why did I attract that? What lesson did I need to learn to grow up in that area of life?

By the way, career situations, job situations, economic changes will further emphasize this. Yet, new opportunities will come through in order to network with new communities in order to facilitate this maturation process. This is a general statement however, and these issues can manifest in most any or all areas, depending on which areas of life your own soul has chosen to heal the old wounds and facilitate emotional maturation and new self image.

So whatever goes on in this new phase of energy, it isn’t Armageddon—it’s just the next lesson on our path.

When our emotional fears get triggered, it is going to be so very easy to over-react and over-respond.

We really should say, Wait a minute! I have to get a grip! I will be okay. How can I create with those in my space, in my life, in order to release patterns of emotional isolation and emotional pain and hurt and evolve that into new levels of emotional inner security and create a new self image?