Well, it’s one of those days here on Day #22. I seem to be caught in what feels like “the eye of a storm” as far as progress goes today but it is a little bit of a relief, considering the blazing electric train pace of the past week or so! I can’t seem to connect with the people by phone for making a reservation and also someone who says they will be here can’t seem to be here when they say they will. This results in me having down time and puts a kink in the flow so-to-speak. While I am waiting to “call back in a half hour” to reserve equipment and on stand-by for the someone to show up at the door, I hesitate to get involved in a project. So, I will blog here in the eye-of-the-storm. I just realized that I’m hungry but that can wait.
I am asking the universe what I am supposed to know right nor or learn through these delays; however, I must say its a bit delightful not to be rushing about right at the moment. I honestly do feel like a nice long nap — if truth be told and I’m a truth teller so there it is.
It occurs to me just now that it may be a good time to make a personal inventory and to consider prioritizing a bit with this unexpected down time. I’m at a place of hurry up and wait if you get my drift. O, what about if I toss a few coins here? Let me ask what I should consider or what it is important for me to know right now. So, here we go….
“The Arousing/51″ changing to “Progress/35″ … ha, well here we have the guidance that the protective roof of certainty has been blown off. Oh, how totally true THAT is! But the good news is the worst will soon be over and there will be an acclimation to the nakedness of the protective roof being blown off. That has already happened–I’ve seemed to have gone past fear! I get the acclimation reference. Additionally, chaos around me disintegrates my idealism. Yes, indeed this is also true for the time being! Only essentials are remaining in place–all the rest is chaos and this i-ching message is absolutely exactly true for today. Further it says that a slight retreat is in order while I nourish myself. Wow, didn’t I just write about how I felt like a nap!? so right on!
Now Kua 35 called “Progress” indicates that the outlook is bright and all signs point toward increasingly more rapid progress of events.
Well, its time for me to make that call now. So much for Day #22 except to say that things seem to be ahead of schedule for the most part. By days 38 through 40, we’ll be home free; at least as far as this particular committment is concerned.
PS– this thing I’m doing, this committment I’m making, believe it or not is taking a lot of courage on my part! It’s a long story, so you’ll have to just trust me for now.
Day #20 Value System Shock and Awe – North Node Taurus and Electric Train Goes Back to the Future
When Life Starts Moving Like An Electric Train!
May there be something here in this writing to somehow help another along their path….
Before we get started catching up from Day #11 to now, let me just say how much I love my work! It’s intense—this project, this commitment, this change—but when I do a phone reading for someone, it is like drinking cool water from a pure source on a hot day. O, I’m sure there are better analogies to use—so let me just say it straight. When I do a reading, it is the highlight of my day and a healing of my energy; it’s great! And with the recent intensity of my life, the contrast is plainly and acutely pronounced. Healers know this—when they do a healing for another they are channeling healing energy through them and so they too become healed. It is the same in my work as a psychic and medium.
And now to continue from Day #11: whenever one makes a commitment for change, it will affect others and in my case I had to give that kind of notice or head’s up. I had no idea how it was going to go. Would I meet with any rage or resistance or resentment when I told others who would be affected about my commitment to this change? I held my breath (held my nose) and jumped in and did it. I had to because the persons I had to tell needed to be involved in the change itself. I had a moment or two of the heart beating fast and then holding the breath in anticipation until I received the response. It was surreal actually as much of the last 20 days have been.
Sometimes I will program ahead for the response I want from another—or I have done so in the past. You know—visualized it happening the way I wanted it to and then seeing that it did. That can be a very empowering thing to do by the way!
This time, however, I was more ‘in the moment’. What I mean is there was a level of confidence beforehand that no matter the response, I will deal with it as it happens moment by moment. And I did and it went as well as could be expected—well, actually in some cases better than could be expected.
The feeling was like I’m on this train and it isn’t stopping and so people will have to step aside because the train is coming through—yet, I am not driving the train as much as being a passenger.
Once those people were told about the change and that was accomplished things really took off… moved much faster… like the train was on one of those electric tracks that goes 110 mph instead of 40 or 50. It makes me think of how it goes from Washington, DC area to Philadelphia whenever I’d travel there from North Carolina. Through North Carolina, Virginia and Maryland the train was slow as molasses but once we got near DC, we hooked onto the electric track and flew! Well, that’s how it’s been… I’ve been flying for the past 9 days!
And I’ve had help! People help; family help; physical help and emotional help and so there’s the further evidence for the support for this commitment to change.
Yet, emotionally or within me there’s been an issue triggered by value systems—mine versus theirs! Or we could say fringe dweller spiritual and metaphysical values VERSUS big-city, Corporate America impersonal and “it’s all about the money mentality” and besides “you are just a number consciousness”—it’s been (to use their terms/words) just like “shock and awe”. I won’t go into that too much more because it is just me having to adjust to being in Rome and doing what the Roman’s do—at least externally. It’s not been pleasant on certain days and there’ve been times that I’ve sat on the floor and cried it out for a few minutes due to the ridiculous irony alternated by other moments on the floor laughing at levels of near-hysteria for the same reason.
Overwhelmed isn’t a strong enough word to describe certain moments but I’ve got tools and have “been there-done that” enough times emotionally that I know how to use them! So… it’s okay and I have in my 64 years upon the earth learned a good deal and have developed excellent coping and healing techniques!
So while the past 9 or 10 days have been moving quickly and have been intense mentally, physically and emotionally… the highlights have actually been when I’ve ceased in this project and helped another by doing my work, giving a reading. It is when I am being my truest and happiest self! And it’s not that I needed to make this change or commitment to know that—not at all; because I’ve always known that actually.
In 18 days my life will change and I will be walking into an area that is semi-unknown to me on certain levels. I have so many projects in mind after that which involve my work as a psychic, medium, astrologer and teacher! I feel sure my focus will be sharper and I will have more time and energy to devote to those endeavors.
Until then, this update must end. I know I just typed 18 days but I think of it more in terms of two weeks actually. I hope lots of people will want a reading over these next two weeks… and that is what I am asking the universe for!
I’ve just got to tell ya’ though, in the meanwhile, that it is so strange watching the events of my life and watching myself go in directions that I said to everyone that I’d never, ever go! and it’s not the first time this has happened! Shows to go ya’ or goes to show ya’ that you probably should never say never–especially to The Universe! Well, if you’ve lived life at all you already know that!
I will update again when there’s another opportune moment to sit down and gather myself and my thoughts. My North Node Taurus is being triggered by my approaching transiting South Node and while I’m starting this whole “Back to the Future” thing in some ways in my life… it should get even more interesting as the conjunction becomes more or less exact at the end of the year triggering and electrifying the 4th/10th house axis even further!
Hoping that there was something here in this writing to somehow help another along their path….
See you next time…
Day #11 The Best Way is Pushing Through – When is the Perfect Time to Do a Psychic Reading?
If we wait for conditions to be perfect before we engage in what needs doing, we may have a long wait. Besides, we learn so much about ourselves and about Life by pushing through.
I remember once upon a time quite a number of years ago I wanted a reading from a local psychic. It was a time when I was just opening up to those types of things. I was working at my career as a physical therapist back then and could feel some kind of change coming on. It just occurs to me now (as I type here) that the change that was coming at that time is the current reality that I am living now—at least in part. So anyway, the metaphysical store where I was asking for a reading had just relocated. And to me the store appeared perfectly in order and seemed fine–at least the front room did anyway.
Yet, the psychic pointed to a side room which contained a number of boxes, some opened partially and some not at all. She said that those boxes and the state of her life at that moment were reason she could not do readings at that time. I walked away a little bit disappointed. I never had a chance to go back.
Looking back on it while actually being a psychic myself now, as I did this morning for some reason, I think, “Really?” Well, we all assume that we function differently I suppose based on our individual past experiences and preconceived notions.
Personally, I seem to work better under that type of circumstance—perhaps because doing a reading for a client is healing and energizing for me (the energy from the higher dimensions filters in, you know?) and I’ve actually done some of my very best work in circumstances and situations like the one in which the side-room psychic said she could not work.
Funny how memories come flooding through. I just remembered something from my past relating to this. I did 15 minute readings for an entire office once in someone’s home. It was a very nice home; however, in order to give me privacy to do the work, I was sent to the homeowner’s teenage daughter’s bedroom. You want to talk about chaos! Everything was everywhere but I had my card table, my cards and my vortex of energy and the rest was faded background material. Everything but the card table became a non-issue. I don’t remember thinking it was an issue in the first place. The room did not exist for me at all when I was working with the client–in fact the whole house and everyone and everything in it seemed non-existent. It’s still that way actually. My own life goes away for the period of time in which I am doing someone’s reading and that can actually be a pretty wonderful thing sometimes. LOL
On to another topic—yesterday I made great progress with my project of commitment to change. Not that I’m there yet; but I took a GIANT STEP closer (Mother may I? Yes, you may!) to eventual completion. I plan the same for today but I paused to make this blog as my form of play; otherwise, it is head down, engaged and power through!
One final note–and this is more a private thought but let me put it out to the ethers anyway. I am calling on the Divine Mother for help daily ion this project of committment and change and I want to express gratitude for the assistance I am receiving and to open my heart even further to that energy with Love. Thank YOU!
I totally get to live it now (again!). I get to apply firsthand all the advice that comes from the higher levels of mind about change, impermanence, transition, letting go/holding on (an interesting dynamic!) and all the rest. O, not that I haven’t lived it in the past—it’s a refresher is all.
Anytime we make a decision that is going to obviously out-picture in a major life change, we have moments—call them temporary moments of insanity if you’d like. I may have had a few of those this week. I am laughing inside as I reflect on that last line; there’s a part of me that’s still a bit numb and consequently unsure if I’ve been completely sane the entire week.
I think it’s normal as a portion of life unravels and then begins to reassemble due to the necessity of change that moments of “crazy” happen and there again come those old buddies of worry who is crazy’s cousin. Those buddies are doubt and anger. What’s there to be angry about you may ask—don’t worry, I’m asking myself the same question.
Maybe it’s my rebellious Aquarius energy in my 7th house—who knows? I really have to get over a certain amount of resentment about jumping through other people’s hoops and dealing with “THE almighty RULES”. Yeah, I’ve always been a fringe dweller, an outsider. I’m examining that now; that frustration and resentment.
But I got through the week and with regard to this project, this commitment, this change–the ball is continuing to roll with or without me because things have been set irreversibly into motion. Last night I had as moment of angst. Now this is where divination comes in handy!
Maybe it was me just tired from a long week of bumping heads with… let me be kind. Let’s just say maybe a certain fatigue set it that wasn’t necessarily physical. Mentally I am living (in my mind) within the new way of being that comes from this change that I’ve chosen (did I really choose it?) and physically there is chaos in the realm that I’m still disassembling as part of the change.
Holy chaos! What am I doing? Am I doing the right thing? I keep getting flashes of the transiting lunar nodes about to come to merge with my natal lunar nodes—once I heard an astrology teacher say that this is… well, she said, “The past becomes the future and the future becomes the past.” I really do feel like something quite similar to that is going on with all of this!
You know how you get that sinking feeling when you are just about to go walk the aisle to say, “I do”-? Did you ever do that? Sometime before you take that walk you say to yourself, “Really, do I? OMG, am I doing the right thing?” OR maybe you are about to close on that house whether you are selling or buying—there’s a moment that happens when you ask yourself, “Do I REALLY want to do this?”
And you’re at the point with it where it is way too complicated to change your mind now! You know, like you just strapped your body in the roller coaster and it begins to move and you really wish you could get off the thing and it’s way too late to turn back now!
Okay, so I had a moment like that last night you see? Those kinds of moments can be sort of immobilizing—everything freezes and you feel like you have to go put your head on the pillow for a while and consider everything one more time.
If you’re experienced with life—it’s familiar territory. You just want someone to come down from some heaven somewhere, float down through the walls and tell you that you are doing the right thing. That didn’t happen exactly, so I grabbed a few divination tools and did ‘my thing’.
It is calming to shuffle those cards or toss those coins—if nothing else, shuffling the cards is a centering activity in itself.
It was helpful is all that I can say—very helpful—calming, reassuring, peace-provoking and enabled me to breathe easy once more.
I’d say the whole affair took maybe a half hour and I was back on course again emotionally. I was still physically tired but got a lot of good rest last night and today I’m ready to go back at it again. And the chaos of change I must make peace with until the 30 days is over. Around this same time next month, I should have totally different view of life; stay tuned. But my greater point is that divination tools, used properly and with confidence in the tool itself, can be so helpful in the heat of the moment when guidance and an elevated, unbiased view is needed.
It’s worth learning about tarot cards or runes or i-ching and to take a psychic development class before you consider a major change; they can help you. As a matter of fact, now that we are thinking of it, I’ve noticed that many people who take the class are also planning something huge in their life at the same time—some life changing event like a job/career change or divorce or a relocation.
I’ll post again when there’s time.
“I feel that the moment you adopt a sense of caring for others, it brings you inner strength. Inner strength brings inner tranquility, greater self-confidence. Because of such attitudes, even when things going on around you seem hostile and negative, you can still sustain your peace of mind.”
– Dalai Lama
I’m an imperfect soul—but then you already knew that. I’ve been laser focused, committed and moving forward. It’s Day #8. The Moon was in Aries today as she was yesterday when the fireball (Aries is a fire sign) in my consciousness (I was moving right along getting ‘er done, as we say)… anyway, when my fireball landed in a Pisces (air-head, confusion type) duck pond!
I could feel myself beginning the process of inner-raging at someone who represented a duck in a duck pond and there we were with a consciousness to deal with that was a mix of corporate-we-have-our-rules consciousness blended with an inability-to- focus-on-a-conversation-without-distracting-myself-mind. My Aries Fireball Consciousness had a hard time handling that other mind without feeling impatient and frustrated.
This individual is of my generation too and I’m a little embarrassed to say so! C’mon, we may be getting old but heck can’t we still function? I had the distinct feeling that I was talking to someone who had one too many sedatives and could only function in the world inside the corporate box. “Quack, quack, quack, quack-quack-quack!” 
Maybe she has a high muckety-muck nephew running the corporation but no matter how it is, I let my fireball go out in her duck pond. And that was MY fault.
There was a sizzle and then a flat line. Quick, code blue, get the paddles, CLEAR…. Charge again! I recovered. Nobody had to call it.
I’m back at it again today but will focus my energy in a different direction. Going to give that situation over to the Angels and other friends of Light to handle for me—got to let that go. Too many other things to do!
Meanwhile, as things go, I will contemplate yesterday’s duck pond event and ask myself if this la-la-land lady is some kind of reflection of my own self; O please, I hope not. But I will have to examine that. More than less, I’m feeling like the whole event was me assuming and standing in a new kind of power within myself and seeing how quickly I can go into despair and fear (but yesterday more like frustration because despair and fear took off down the road so-to-speak when my Aries fireball hit the duck pond). The sizzling noise of the duck pond water meeting the fireball sent my old friends dispair and fear running! (Higher Mind speaks: Joy’s inner-power has been cranked up a few notches and those old energies left town–and only minor frustration and impatience remain. She’s handling those appropriately.)
Since my last report there has been a lot of progress. Magic has happened. A number of things that could have potentially been problems magically haven’t been—it’s been easy, smooth. And as major things fall into place so easily, each one that does reinforces that I’ve made the right choice with this commitment.
Yesterday was a minor bump in the road. However, I was reminded that there are still many levels of consciousness (think Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs) and the world has blind rule followers—we would find most of them in church on Sunday morning. I’d forgotten how inhumane corporate mind can be and how rule followers throw common sense humanity out the window as they bow to the almighty rule. But then what makes anyone do what they do? I mean what’s the motivation? Like the Dalai Lama says, everyone is trying to avoid suffering and is seeking happiness. Perhaps the confused, unfocused old rule-follower that I spoke with yesterday has her own fears – maybe common sense was lost along the way as dotting the I’s and crossing the T’s became the master.
Compassion and understanding for the duck in the duck pond and my self will be the order of the day. I will not permit it to overshadow and outweigh the magical synchronistic door-opening events of that have occurred since my last blog post.
Here’s an example:
I ♥ love this! ♥ I couple of nice mountain farmer type gentlemen (I think they were Ascended Masters in disguise; but that’s me)… anyway, they helped me with something yesterday and in return I offered my two recently potted evergreens–the Indian Hawthorns that I lovingly potted last month. THEN this morning, here’s the “message from the universe” from tut.com that I received… I love how the universe works and how today’s message relates back to … well, I looked out back and sort of missed my missing hawthorn’s this morning and returning my attention to my email, opened this message that soooooooo relates:
“Take it from the farmer in me, Joy…
The more seeds you sow, the more plants we’ll grow.
I love wearing overalls,
– The Universe”
I will hold the Dalai Lama quote (at the top of this post) very close today!
Day #5 ‘All the World’s a Stage’ and Dealing with Change and Stage Fright in Your Own Life Play
It’s Day #5 and true to the last post, have been going at it “in a bit of a run”—fa’ sure! The wheels were set into motion big time over the past two days and with so much still to do, there’s a bit of guilt about sitting at the computer, typing. Yet, I may want to look back on this for encouragement (or maybe laughs!) later—besides, maybe someone will be helped by these posts about how I’m dealing with these ♫ cha-cha-cha-cha-a-a-anges ♫.
People have recently told me that they never thought I’d commit to this change and honestly I didn’t either; and the greater part of me denied that these changes were already taking place on subtle levels before the lid blew off, before the genie got out of the bottle and before the lid to Pandora’s Box suddenly flew open!
You know those moments when you hear your mouth saying things and watch yourself doing things while a unknown force seems to be pushing you from behind the unknown curtain? “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain”, says the Wizard of Oz!
Meanwhile, the good ole’ personality me or what I’ve been calling ‘me-self’ sort of goes into a bit of shock—well, the day before yesterday it happened again. I mean it’s silly, you know? There we are standing in the middle of the change that is happening all around and then some communication comes that everything is right on track—green flag and all that.
The 3 Aces in the Tarot card spread (indicating a very strong YES) were so right on–this weekend really kick started things forward!
What is it about that anyway? It created an emotional trigger. I think it is the sudden acceleration of life changing—like you’re in a
car where someone pulled away very fast at the traffic light and your stomach gets left behind while the rest of you lurches suddenly forward. Well, that’s how that moment of panic feels. Even though I had checked, double checked, triple checked and quadruple checked before the greater part of me took over and jumped through the window of opportunity that was open before me—even with all that checking, I had a moment when I thought, “Wait, are you SURE you can handle this?” And then of course at the same time I realized we had reached the point of no return—it was too late if I made a misjudgment. Oh yeah, the pulse started to race; and even though my hot-flash days are over, I had one!
What IS that? I call that kind of thing an emotional trigger response. An old wound, a sensitive spot in the psyche got hit and for a few moments I was spinning out in the ethers (at least my consciousness was).
What are we afraid of when we go into panic and fear this way? Today I am going to allow the answer to that question to surface—although I already know even as I type here. I won’t share it publically—at least not now; maybe after the 30 days I will. It may be 45 days, but surely this is not going to take 60 like I originally thought. We’ve been going at it in a bit of a run—that Harry Potter movie scene (see last blog post) turned out to be quite the predictive phrase; no wonder it jumped out at me in such a significant way when I heard it the other day.
I was a bit disappointed that I had those 2 or 3 (that’s all it was) intense moments of fear and panic the other day. Some of the reason for it (like I just said) is known to me but I just realized that another reason relates to that runaway train feeling that comes with that thought, “What if I made the wrong decision? It’s too late to turn back now!” And then comes the big fear—the trigger.
I had to calm the ‘me-self’ and as soon as I realized that I had NOT made a literal, physical mistake—whew! Deep breaths and a good laugh about it, but still I had to shake my head because the thing is, I thought we dealt with all that and put it to rest.
Aside from the 2 minute moment of panic the day before yesterday—things are moving forward rapidly and smoothly and I have my sense of humor in tact and I’m excited that I jumped through that window of opportunity! I am looking forward to a busy week with clients, students and lots of other activity–that part is always THE BEST
Best to keep a sense of humor and keep on talking to Higher Self and ♫ Just Breathe ♫.
Like this:
Day #2 Going at it in a bit of a run!
I took a break – a physical one. When I clean house I like to play videos; I listen. I went through all my closets (tossing, organizing and repackaging) this winter to all 3 Lord of the Rings videos—about 4 times over.
I’ve got video #1 of the Harry Potter series playing now as I move forward (or try to if I can rebalance) with Day #2 of the 60 day drama that lies ahead. Well, it doesn’t have to be a drama; best use the word “experience” or better yet “adventure” instead. I’m nervous about it—or trying not to be.
Change can be that way as we all know and sometimes not thinking about it too much is the right ticket. Had to talk to the ‘me-self ‘a few times today, “Keep on breathing, keep on talking” to the tempo of the little Finding Nemo movie that contains the famous lines from Dori, “Keep on swimming, keep on swimming…”
(My inner-child likes children’s movies–obviously.)
Change is a good thing—we can get stuck in same ole’, same ole’ and the longer we put it off, the more nervous we can potentially become as a result.
I watch it you know? I watch myself as the observer who has sympathy for the fears and nervous tummy of the ‘me-self’. I walk in both worlds in that way—probably you do too.
I had to laugh at the scene that was playing on the Harry Potter flick when I entered the living room to sit down and take a break. Harry was looking at the entrance way to platform 9 3/4 at the London train station to board the Hogwarts express. You’ve seen the movie, right? He watches the other kids run through the brick wall that is in place between platform 9 and 10. One of the mothers of the other children tells Harry, “Best to go at it at a bit of a run dear if you’re nervous.”
All the kids get through the brick wall by running through it—no time to think… just go at it “at a bit of a run”.
The obstacle was removed and what was official yesterday is so official now that there’s no turning back and the 60 days may turn out to be 30 days. I used my tarot cards to ask a yes/no question about if the change is going to be announced today to be ‘officially’ official! Result? 3 Aces! You can’t get a more positive yes than that. A few hours later we got the call confirming that. YIKES!, it’s gets more REAL by the second! 
Now the pressure increases and there’s no time for the ‘me-self’ to have any doubt, apprehension or fear. No time for that anyway—the date moved forward 30 days or at least the goal date.
So, just like Harry, I’d best go at it “at a bit of a run.” I thought it good enough advice to make a blog post. If you have something to do that you are apprehensive or nervous about–run toward it and don’t think too much. Because now that I think about it, remembering past experiences, it does work!
Me-self and my higher-self are working together on this! We agree; it’s best to go at it at a bit of a run!
