A while ago I happened to be searching for information for someone from the archives of my own blog and came across a post that I wrote when I lived back in the mountains. A pang of intense emotion accompanied the read remembering my life then as it contrasts to today’s challenges since I moved. I’m sure this has to be a universal sentiment—as most feelings are! What do we do when we want to go back to the past but simply cannot? How do we handle it when our present situation falls so short of a past that we feel so fondly about? This could apply to just about any kind of loss—this question. I want something right now—an insight, some guidance, or wisdom to help me with this feeling.
There are many tools to use—Lord knows! I have a huge toolbox too! But for now my tarot cards are handy, so I did a shuffle and up came the EIGHT OF PENTACLES. What message or insight does this card bring?
First, I’m taken by the fact that the man on the card is secluded in his work with the town or humanity in the distance. That sure describes the situation—civilization was in the distance back then. Today I am literally in the middle of other people’s lives—bumping into them in my own apartment even though I live alone! [Long story – you don’t want to know!]
So first thing is that the card, in this case, describes the dilemma or situation that is being asked about. That is so true of how it is when I work with the cards—it lets me know I’m on track; it’s validating.
This card is about developing skills and talents. I suppose that is what grief, loss and change do—we develop new skills and talents because of that. We want to go back and can’t (for whatever the reason) and here we are—it’s new, different and we just would rather not participate in the new reality! Yet, here we are.
Well, that’s one insight to help with this feeling… this pang of wishing things could be like they used to be! We have to remember that we developed skill and talents in that old situation and our life now is about developing new skills.
Yes, I hear ya’. I don’t want to either and don’t like it one bit. I want to love my life like I used to!
The 8 of Pentacles is about broadening the horizon on an earthly level. The Hermit card is most it’s opposite… the Hermit is how I used to be—alone, solitude. Hermit is about inner knowledge and 8 of Pentacles is about outer, earthly knowledge. Well, I’ll say this much. I’ve learned a lot about the smells of Indian cooking, and hookah smoking and the vocalizations of Indians too! More than I ever wanted to know but then again I’d never have known any of that if I’d stayed in the mountains.
This card also is about preparing, being prepared for something—well, whatever it is, I hope it’s going to be joyful because I’ve had enough of the opposite to last me a while! I guess anyone who’s suffered a loss will understand that firsthand and say the very same thing.
Discipline is another aspect of this card or this part of our life journey represented ‘by’ this card. But we are not supposed to look for an end result with these types of situations –these experiences that have us wanting to go back to how it used to be—we’re not supposed to look for an outcome. We’re supposed to just get through them knowing we are being prepared for something in future somehow and that we are developing some type of discipline and training. And we must try to elevate our sorrow or feelings of loss and use the depth of feeling to reach out and help others. I’d like to think that writing this blog post may be doing that in some way.
In our life we are guided, led and sometimes shoved in directions the help us “push the envelope” so-to-speak so that we don’t become complacent. Or perhaps we have perfected our skill and the universe had more confidence that we could handle it that we ourselves do at the present moment!
Maybe we are to become more fully conscious of our work, our true work. And to do that we cannot go back, only forward—whether we like the current pangs of desire to return or not. If nothing else we will become experts on dealing with wanting to go back and dealing with the feelings of not being able to!
This card is encouraging us to have confidence in our skills and talents and to understand that we are learning something new that we will use to bring to our life to benefit ourselves and others—we are being prepared to elevate our skills.
I wanted more not being fully satisfied with the information from the 8 of Pentacles.
I put all the major arcana cards together, wanting more of MAJOR insight so-to-speak. Whats the bigger picture? ask the Major Aracana.
In the Hero’s Journey, the Hierophant points to “education of the hero”.
In that sense, our education–yours and mine reader.
Hierophant is the name given to the High Priest. One task of the Hero faces is the search for meaning–that’s certainly what I’m doing.
It’s also about conforming and adapting to “the system”—wow. Learning by living with others—well, I’m certainly doing THAT in this apartment situation in which when the neighbors talk, they talk to me too since their voices are in my room as well as their own. They speak Hindi and i have no idea what they are saying though.
Alright, i agree that I need to mediate on this a bit more. Maybe that ALONE will keep me from being melancholy about my past!
I may come back to this post to add more as I reflect upon this.
SIX OF WANDS WISDOM FOR WHEN WE ARE HARD ON OURSELVES
We all have things in life that we wish we could improve upon or wish we could do better. We may look back at a recent experience and feel bad about ourselves when we see how we wish we could be versus how we are!
We all know what perfection should look like and then we compare ourselves and see how we have fallen short. How do we handle that? That’s was my thought as I drew a Tarot Card for guidance.
I don’t know why but I always think of the word INITIATION when I see this card. And that makes me think of the book with that title about the Initiations in Egypt–probably soul memories triggered.
[The book: INITIATION by Elizabeth Haich].
We all know that initiations are difficult and sometimes impossible to perfect… its a right of passage… like walking on hot coals or a bed of nails… we’re just supposed to make it through alive and intact, not perfect the state so that we remain in that hot coal or bed of nails state. The focus is on indoctrination and instruction into a state of mind–an awareness creator so-to-speak.
Anyway, sometimes enduring an initiation is in itself the success! Perhaps we aren’t meant to conquer the fire fires but to just get through them without being burned too badly! Maye it’s not so much about controlling the raging river but rather staying on top of it. Maybe it’s not as much about controlling the pool full of crocodiles but just getting through the crock pond alive to reach the other side! Initiations are like that.
Should we feel back about the anxiety and panic that we may feel about being tossed in a crocodile pond?
I think we should feel great about getting ourselves through it any way we can!
The heck with trying to master the crocs–that’s not what it’s about.
Its about keeping one’s head together well enough to survive–that’s the way initiation goes!
The 6 of Wands always brings the message that after the initiation self-confidence will return and other problems or anxieties will be easier than those major initiations, once passed! One feels vindicated but has to give credit to help received along the way–the Divine Assistance.
The wisdom of the 6 of Wands reminds us that life’s initiations are difficult and that we shouldn’t be hard on ourselves— we just need to get ourselves out of the pool of crocodiles and to the other side any way we can–whatever works.
Success is simply getting through the initiation–passing the test, enduring he difficulty and living to tell about it!
The benefits come later.
I don’t know about you but drawing this card and applying it to the “pond full of crocs” type of situation in my life helps me to feel better about it!
Thank you to for Divine Assistance and to the Angels of Tarot for giving me much needed insight and I hope something here is helpful for you too!
But while just sitting upon my bed looking out the window a little bit ago… a familiar feeling came. I was sick a lot around the ages of 6 to 8 years old, as I recall. Mumps once and maybe either chicken pox or measles (I’m pretty sure measles but maybe both) because I remember the rash and all the adults getting excited and missing weeks of school. I had my tonsils out too; but mostly I remember looking longingly out the window and wanting to go outside just like I did when I awoke this morning to the uncouth Indian voices —that last part being normal fare around here.
There’s a nice breeze today, its 60 degrees and I’d love to go out for a hike in the woods—to visit the Lady of the Lake. But the adult in me knows better, says no like my mother did back when I had the mumps and measles and I am left with that familiar feeling not knowing what to do with it but blog it.
It has been many-a-moon (in fact many years of moons) that I’ve been this congested. I woke this morning, as I have many mornings after their Indian hookah (or whatever) parties, with a migraine. Yeah, I just put the 2 + 2 together on that one! Same deal last weekend and the one before—open eyes and head pounds. The smell of whatever they put in their pipes is nauseatingly disgusting and finds its way up through the floor and walls. Even though I’ve shut and covered the heating vents, when they put on their central air unit, it pumps the smelly residue right on up here. And it wakes me in the night. After today, only 44 more days of this; they move out on the 31st of December. Happy New Year! Yay!
Oh, by the way, I can’t prove they smoke hookah but the maintenance guys say most all of them do and I’ve smelled actual … well, you know that, “OMG what the heck is that burning?” , but I think after a while they changed it up a bit to something different. Maybe this would be hard for you to believe, but REALLY, I’ve better things to do then speculate about it, although blogging about it generally does help release some levels of frustration.
My lungs and sinuses are not real happy, nor is my head right now. They know I’m sick up here in the apartment above them—they must hear me coughing throughout the night just as I hear their coughing! Despite that, they had a loud and in my opinion grossly bad-mannered boisterous party last night. Just lovely! They know I’d hear every word and yelp above them!
My family has been dropping off food and medicine—because going out into the marketplace with one of my coughing jags wouldn’t be pretty, not that I couldn’t do it—but it’d be embarrassing is all. Yesterday, finally liquid Nyquil and a vaporizer came through the door and I was just about to finally sleep (something for the previous two nights I’d not been able to do due to coughing) and just as the cough calmed, they started with the hookah and loud voices and hyena laughter—the female Indian is really good at that! You know that there are such things as pig calling contests, right? Well, if they had hyena laughter impression contests, she’d be the world champion!
The laughter and talking is highly nervous and hyper sounding—that’s the hookah hyena laugh and you want to talk about speed? They already talk a mile-a-minute as is, but on hookah (or whatever stimulant they obviously use), well, it’s hard to describe. And I don’t want to talk about it.
So anyway, I am too sick to go out and play and mostly too sick to work too although yesterday—bless her heart!—I had a very patient astrology client put up with my hacking cough and my loss of voice for an hour session. Thank you Janie!
I had to cancel and reschedule the other session that I’d planned to do yesterday; I really don’t like having to bump clients into the next week but I’ve got to get over this cold or clearing or whatever we want to call it. It started last weekend when I spoke to the Hyena impersonator about the smell of garlic (so strong I could taste it in my mouth) – I got a few things off my chest at that time although we’re talking about a conversation that lasted less than 2 minutes.
I knocked on their door with my apartment reeking of garlic and with the taste of it in my mouth—anyway, the very next day I started with a sore throat.
Their cooking smells, second hand hookah stink (if that nauseating smell is what I think it is) and germs make their way up to me way too easily—a compliment to the architect and builder of this complex! May he have a long and happy laugh—which is sarcasm!
The hyena Mumbai lady and her equally obnoxious partner (the pants-on-fire dude; see previous posts) are letting it rip today; shouting at the top of their lungs and minds—are they trying to goat me into coming down for another confrontation? Sorry, too sick—don’t have the energy. Besides, I approached them both once –no actually 3 times now and got nowhere—it’s like talking to a wall.
I want to go out of this apartment today—get out of here; but to escape where? I don’t trust myself to drive being under Nyquil’s influence and I don’t want to make my family sick. I joke with my grandson who is the one sent to the door with meds or food. Not wanting him to get sick I will say to him: “okay, son, set the bag down, put your hands in the air, then cover your mouth and back away slowly.” Nobody in our family is sick–just me and the Mumbai’s.
One benefit to being here near my family versus being alone in the mountains is that my family helps me out at times like these. I love my family.
There’s no doubt in my mind that my downstairs neighbors are being more obviously and purposefully vocal since they were told that their lease is not being renewed—apparently it was that. At first, I thought it was their choice to move. Apparently not, or they wouldn’t be acting out the way that they currently are this past week! The female right now as I type this is singing loud at the top of her lungs, while she grinds up something in the blender—I suspect tobacco. They’ve been loud and ugly plenty before, but its all been escalating since last week.
I am going to do more writing more today — no, not about this. I’m going to utilize a blog topic that I’ve had in mind and convert it into a newsletter which is only 4 days late now! Best get at it. Maybe a movie later, I don’t know.
I’m stuck inside just like when I was a little girl – oh, and idea: maybe I can download a good book on kindle later. I’m very good at holding concentration now with music on and sleeping soundly with music on. I’ve learned to tune my mind to IT in avoidance of their hyena yelps and ‘faster-than-a-speeding-bullet’ talking.
I just want to add that I totally don’t buy it! You know? I mean the argument about “It’s our culture to be loud, obnoxious and cook stinky food and not care about anybody else”. Nope. Don’t buy it. Why? Because IN FACT they are NOT in their culture anymore—if they want to be, then why not return to India? No excuse in my book! Their right to act out and create stinks ends with my right to have reasonable quiet living environment and to breathe clean air. I wonder if a lawyer would have any kind of case in this situation? Anyway…
I think the world map of astrology well, on a geodetic map… if I recall India is aligned with Leo which would account for the self-centeredness of my Indian neighbors. I could be wrong about the Geocentric map Leo part—that’s not my forte’ astrologically but as for the rest, I stand behind it. Only someone who lived in my apartment and walked my shoes knows what a year it’s been! But the end is near! 44 more days. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Don’t we all want our mother to protect us and to fight our battles and take care of us—especially when we don’t feel well? My own mother was not particularly nurturing, but I do still call out for my mother on days like these–even if the response isn’t forthcoming, I think it’s human nature too want that nurturing and protection at times.
There is Divine Mother or Goddess or Kwan Yin or Tara that represent that same energy. Sometime children act out (just as my Indian neighbors are) because they want their mothers attention or nurturing. Today, I will try harder to be patient with my boisterous Indian neighbors by imagining their noise being their cry for their own mother. I thought at first that they chose to leave this apartment and rent another either here or elsewhere but judging from the recent escalation of their voices and parties etc., it may not have been their choice at all.
I wonder if a lawyer would have a case to make about the air exchange in this place. None of my family is sick but down below me they are coughing and hacking like myself — it was the same way last year but I don’t recall the cough and cold being this severe. Likely they are blaming me as I am blaming them for the germ exchange when really if fingers are pointed in this case, it should be toward the apartment complex itself.
I am not interested in that–only that they are moving! And for that, I am most grateful. Funny. I went in the very day they made arrangements to move to ask how i could possibly get out of this lease–do i have any options I said? And the rental girl said, they came in this morning and finalized their lease, they’re moving. There was someone in her office and I could tell she didn’t want to discuss it further. So…
Will it be to another apartment here in this complex? or elsewhere? I don’t care as long as they are no longer under my feet! amen! and thank you Divine Mother!
And now my coffee has gone cold and my throat seem to be calling for something warm to soothe it so I bring us to end to end of this chapter.
Recently, I was inspired (from the Angels?) to write about them in this week’s newsletter which was about the association of Archangels with Planets, Sun signs, and then obviously with the astrological signs. That’s when I thought to look up the Archangel associated with my own sun sign. This blog post is the result of that data search and my thoughts about it….
Archangel Haniel is considered to be the Angel of Intuition and clairvoyance and is linked through the planet Venus ruling Taurus and Libra.
She also oversees astrology and spiritual healing.
She is also, it is said, thought to be the angel of “JOY”.
The lantern of joy has the power to bring light into any circumstances, no matter how dark they may be. Haniel is sometimes pictured holding a lantern.
Haniel “brings harmony and balance wherever she goes” (Libra is always seeking harmony and balance), she is the Angel that, it is also said, reminds you to find fulfillment from within rather than trying to find happiness from outside yourself.
I am a Libra Sun (Haniel rules Venus and therefore the signs Taurus and Libra). I relate and feel a connection (very much so) to Archangel Haniel.
Thinking back, its no wonder that my spirit guides assigned the name “Joy” to me decades ago; long before I knew anything about archangels. It makes perfect sense now and that realization gives me chills!
I was born with many planets in the Venus-ruled sign of Libra including Venus itself along with my Sun, Moon and Neptune. Is it any wonder that this “joy angel”, who is so often depicted with a smile on her face, is linked so strongly to me with my birth occurring with so many planets in Libra, imprinting my soul with Haniel energy?
In my psychic class I mention that everyone has a “joy guide” –this whole “joy guide” thing being something that I was taught by my own psychic trainer from the beginning. My instructor never mentioned the name Haniel, but I was enthralled and enchanted by the idea of a joy guide back then and now pass on the information about having a “joy guide” to my own psychic development students.
If you see green or turquoise light around you, Haniel may be nearby, say believers. Looking back at the colors on my website and newsletter now, I do wonder if Haniel may have had her influence when I chose those colors for my web pages.
I am her, she is me, we are one.
Turquoise is a balanced blend of green and blue. It helps to develop our unique individuality. It is the New Age of Aquarius that encourages us to seek spiritual knowledge.
Haniel is said to have a special connection to the Moon (me too!) If there was an Archangel associated with ASTROLOGY, it would be her–or at least this is the case based upon the numerous websites and books that I’ve referenced.
I feel her smile and joy growing within me today and will carry her on my shoulder today by thinking of her often and asking her to penetrate my life with more of her energy.
Merchandisers Associated with Christmas pull us into their markets while the natural soul tendency at this time of year between Halloween and New Years is to go within
There’s a Conflict of Inner and Outer World the time of Year between Halloween and New Years
INTO THE WOODS TODAY! It is November 1st, 2013 as this post is being written.
The Moon is only 4% lit, waning, moving toward New Moon (dark moon) Scorpio. There’s a Uranus-Pluto square today, exact square… it’s a deep, shadowed time… a time to go deeply within… Uranus represents the individual subconscious and Pluto represents the depth of the soul.
The Celts saw this as a sacred or “hallowed” time of year. It is a time for honoring those in spirit and communicating with spirit world–yet, everything in our American or Westernized culture goes against the natural call of spirit.
This is the time of year that the old religions would use divination to look to the future. Is it any surprise that opposing forces created a completely different genre around this time of year?
My soul is directing me to go into the woods, as far and deep as I can go– this I can do metaphysically if not physically. The rain here today supports going within, being quiet–I may even skip my swim in favor of extra meditation or maybe even a dance meditation.
(New Moon date: Nov 3rd, Sunday ~ a good day to do a New Moon ceremony ~ unless the Xtian associated merchandisers don’t trigger the tradition of greed and pull you into the stores and malls.)
Feeling pensive today and at the same time deeply grateful for the freedom that is available to me and of course…. oops! Spoke too soon; was going to say grateful for the quiet but that’s okay, I can cover up the human’s voices of downstairs neighbors from India with music… so change that: feeling grateful for music sound players!
Now to go into the woods of my mind and soul for a while….. maybe you would like to join me?
and the Jeweled Net of Indra
Psychic awareness (divination) is the ability to tune into vibrations which are both distant and near because in actuality they exist in a dimension that exists outside of time and space.
Psychic awareness is the ability to translate these vibrations into a form accessible to the conscious mind.
The dimension where these vibrations exist is the same place where ideas exist before we have them. The psychic becomes “at one with” that dimension.
The Jeweled Net of Indra is a metaphor or symbol for oneness, interconnectedness. The Buddhists say that at the intersection of this infinite net there is a shining jewel and each jewel contains reflections of all the other jewels. And each reflection contains within itself an infinite number of reflections. Every point reflects every other point. This gives us the idea the image for how each part of the universe is able to communicate with every other part.
The psychic is able to become one with the connective patterns of the universe and it is through this method that information is transferred to the aware psychic.