The Fool and The MisUnderstood Fringe Dweller

“Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self Reliance

00_The_FoolRelationships!  Great teachers!  That quote always helps me to feel better at times when I feel mis-judged or mis-understood.  I wanted to blog a bit about it and hope in doing so that it helps others who come across this problem themselves.  This may be a more common experience among fringe dwellers and those are the type to come across a blog such as this.

Anyway, do we subconsciously ask for these judgments and or set ourselves up for the opinionated wrath of others?  I don’t think so.  Perhaps a tarot card can help us out here so I pulled one.  And by the way what I’ve observed is that those who point the finger at fringe dwellers are those that fear being on the fringe themselves and as so often happens we project our fears onto others.

So the cards we have here to help us understand these types of experiences are one major and one minor arcana card — namely, The Fool and the 3 of Pentacles.

The Fool has no home, no destination, with no possessions.  I have to laugh a bit at the cosmic joke here–currently I am without a home that is my own (I share an apartment) and essentially live in one bedroom.  I don’t know where I am going to be going (on various waiting lists currently) and well, this last part is partly true.  Most of my possessions are in storage and they’re not much at that–I’ve probably paid more in storage rent than the stuff is actually worth!  In that way this card describes my life right now–thus, the cosmic joke.  But getting back to the point now….

The Fool is fed by what Zen folks would call THE TAO, or the Great Mother or The Divine Intelligence.  And I think this is what fringe dwellers who are mis-understood should remember.  It’s important.

Others (the one’s who mis-calculate our life and our reasoning and our behaviors) are mere reflections of energy that we sometimes cast in more important roles than they deserve.  What I mean there is that we put people in a role many times and then we expect certain behaviors or perhaps a particular loyalty or some such attribute.  And then of course, they let us down.  People most all of the time do not live up to the expectations we have of the roles that we assign to them in our minds.

And that is a 2-way street of course.  It’s the reason we feel misunderstood at the same time the other mis-judges.

The thing is that it is we who are judging our own self, isn’t it?  We judge ourselves for not being part of the pack and then we see that reflection.

It is okay not to be part of the pack and this is why I like the quote from Emerson on self-reliance.  it is reliance on THE TAO or the GREAT MOTHER or reliance on the DIVINE INTELLIGENCE or DIVINE LOVE.

Not being part of the pack and feeling the pack turn against us (no matter how it comes about–i.e. reflection or not) is helpful in that it turns us back within toward that energy as described–the Divine Love.

Many times we want others to give us that respect, that love and to provide that sense of ‘belonging’ for us that we can only give to ourselves.  it is like turning ourselves inside out to find all of that within.  We fringe dwellers have done that over and over again, many times.  it is part of being on the fringe; only old souls or experienced souls seem to be capable of handling it.  I see that observing others who seem to be like myself–that’s why I say so.  Reflections? Maybe, but I do observe and correlate and we do carry the collective unconscious within us.

The tarot card of The Fool is all about learning from experience and and knowing that he is one with All That Is–so why worry?  The Fool is comfortable being alone and without attachment because of the inner knowledge that there is never any separation whatsoever and as in the the movie, The Matrix when the young adept says, “There is no spoon”, it is the same way with The Fool.  Even if there is a fall, even if it hurts a bit, it is just part of the Divine Matrix, an grand illusion.

We are sustained by Life Itself after all and not by the others–they only play out a role of our own making to help us see the truth… there is no spoon, no fringe, no dweller and no others, not ultimately.  Conventionally we have to acknowledge the existence of others, the pack, and the world of matter, but ultimately, “there is no spoon”.

It is a gift really to be mis-judged and mis-understood because it is at those times we are being assisted or reminded of ultimate reality.  It is not denial, it is enlightenment at least in the moment of the recalled realization.

I love being a psychic and in touch with various forms of divination and the tools of the trade.

03_Three_of_PentaclesPS— i nearly forgot about the 3 of pentacles but then again writing this blog post as I feel misunderstood today is an example of that card’s meaning.  I often think of this card as doing work.

Planting seeds, GETTING REAL and that’s writing this blog post today is about for me.   Applying your craft.

Many spokes attach to the hub but it is the empty center that turns the wheel, they say.    Emptiness has potential–that is associated with the 3 of pentacles as well.

The 3 of pentacles as a person is one who is highly skilled and has deep feelings.  This card reminds us to apply our craft, our art to any perceived problem or concern in life.

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Tuesday September 3, 2013 Reality, Karma, Spiritual Strength

FlowerAll is very quiet again this day, Tuesday the 3rd and gratitude swells in my chest and pulses out to toward the Sun which has already warmed us up to 80 degrees in the shade. The desire to go out anywhere yesterday was null as I wanted to employ the peace and quiet as long as possible while the neighbors were away. And so in in celebration I switched around the loveseat and chair and put up a large cloth wall hanging of the Sun and Moon.

Coffee this morning is especially good again and now that I moved the large Sathya Sai Baba picture which is a large—doubled a poster size–he looks directly at me when I glance up from my computer to have a sip of espresso.

It will be a full day today and the bright pink impatience flowers blooming in a pot out back remind me of an art project which I’m making as a gift that needs attention today and a secret smile dons as I think of swimming my laps first.

The transiting lunar North Node of the Moon is quite close to my 3rd House Saturn.  When we think of nodes we think of karma and evolutionary purpose and in that the node is applying intensely now and will cross over Saturn in two weeks, I’m hoping that this is a sign that my neighbor karma is about to end or is ending.

Well, there are clients on the schedule here so this will do for now, but in ending….  I came across a quote from a Zen Buddhist Monk that really spoke to me last night regarding spiritual practice and it is still sticking with me.  Suzuki Roshi said that the way to acquire spiritual strength is by practicing through a continual succession of agreeable and disagreeable situations.

Then I came upon this other quote:  “To change reality, let reality change you.”

Hope your Tuesday reality will be very, very agreeable! 🙂

The Zen Master, The Cow and The Young Indian Couple Downstairs Neighbors

december 29 2012 cow ice snowThere’s something about this photo of this icy cow moved me to open blank page on my blog and type.  Things are going fine while at the same time they’re not fine at all. There’s no escape.    But that has nothing to do with the cow at present.  Further explanation needed and forthcoming–hang on. For now let me say that cows are really interesting.  If you stop to look at them, they look back and there’s like a mesmerizing hypnotic-like psychic connection.  One day many years ago when home in the mountains, there was a good deal of anxiety and worry over money and a place to live.  In order to relive this, I went for a walk in the beautiful mountains and came to a pasture where cows were grazing.  The distinct memory that lingers has to do with conversing with the cow in an imaginative and dreamlike way offering to exchange my human life of money worries with hers of a pasture life.  We looked into each others eyes for a long, long time and then suddenly a bull ran directly at her and butted her to break up our energy exchange!  That little dream was over.  Looking at this picture now, I’d say pasture life may not be all it’s cracked up to be!   Still…

Maybe its human nature to want to be in a different pasture than one’s own.  It’s like a low-level discontent that we contend with when we say everything’s fine but not fine at all.  I’d venture to say that whatever is going on with any of us is likely very much intensified right now.  The Full Moon opposing the Sun/Pluto conjunction isn’t just any ordinary Full Moon… it was more exact yesterday by orb but still, the effects linger.   The desire to go home is stronger and something intense happening with my downstairs neighbor is too.

Apartment living cannot be compared to a house in the mountains in any positive way whatsoever–at least that’s how it feels at the moment!

Human behavior this close in to my living environ is not in the least bit interesting; in fact, it can be irritating which my best effort is engaged in not allowing at the moment.  I know more about the vocal, cooking and smoking habits of my downstairs neighbors than desired!  It amazes me that two people can dialogue on and on nonstop in those ways!  Are those young folks beneath me mirroring my own inner dis-satisfaction with my move here or simply adding to what is already there.  Sometimes, we don’t know what is mine and what isn’t when we are very sensitive to energies.  There was a very interesting post on Facebook recently:

zen student overcoming anger

A Zen student said to his teacher, “ Master, I have an ungovernable temper. Help me get rid of it.”
“You have something very strange,” said the teacher.
“Show it to me.”
“Right now I cannot show it to you.”
“Why not?”
“It arises suddenly.”
“Then it cannot be your own true nature,” said the teacher, “if it were, you would be able to show it to me at any time. Why are you allowing something that is not yours to trouble your life?”
Thereafter whenever the student felt his temper rising he remembered his teacher’s words and checked his anger. In time, he developed a calm and placid temperament.

This energy is not my true nature, it is not ‘me’, it is illusive; it comes and goes; it arises and dissolves back; it belongs to no one unless that one claims it as their own feeling and then inflames it further.  Maybe young Indian couples like bantering non-stop!  Perhaps this is a sport for them that is enjoyable as much as continual agitation can be.  I let it come up and pass out and do my best to send calming love and light beneath me in case they should wish to accept that; however, perhaps they are too distracted by their incessant dialogue to realize any other energy.

It all makes me miss the mountains even more and the more pasture-type of life of solitude and quiet.  Recent assurances that I am to go back home has been arriving in various forms, not the least being the non-stop mouthing young Indian neighbors.  Efforts to convince myself that one might be alternating reading aloud from a  book to the other have failed!  Ah, well I tried.

They pay rent as I do and each has a right to speak in their own apartment!  (But how can there be THAT MUCH to bicker about for that long? — i don’t get it.)  If their voices get very loud, as often happens, if I knock very lightly on the wall, then voices quiet for a while.  I think they do not realize–they’re young after all and into their dramas.  The young man smokes as many Indians seem to–they didn’t seem to get the memo about the Marlboro Man.  Whiffs of that drift up into my place as well as the spices they cook with, forcing me out of my sanctuary such as it is here.

As the Zen teacher says, Why are you allowing something that is not yours to trouble your life?”  I am using the bickering young Indian downstairs neighbors as teachers as much as I’d rather not–it is what it is.  My family, too, enable me to sit with stuff that gets triggered within my self.  Suddenly now, as I’m typing this,  there comes a recollection of an employment situation that I experienced some years ago.

Back then there seemed to be great unhappiness on my part going into work each day and at that time there was a strong desire to be free of that situation although I could not see practically or financially just how that could happen.  Yet, within me there was a strong inner knowing that the more I could make peace with the situation, the sooner I’d be released from it.  That same message echoed in my heart and mind each day when lamenting my lack of enthusiasm for going to work!

After months of resistance, finally there was a surrender within to find something fun and enjoyable and pleasant in the co-workers and the total environ.  And I maintained that over a period of time very consciously and then (YOU GUESSED IT), numerous situations occurred resulting in my being able to release myself!

That memory encourages me as well as the other indicators received that I will be going home to the mountains again.   Psychic predictive work, intuition and divination come in handy on a personal level too!  (Besides, my tarot cards don’t know how to lie.)  Meanwhile, not letting things that are not mine trouble my life!  In other words, it’s all in the mind, the attitude.  It is not the circumstances that upset a man, it’s the view that he takes of them! 

I’ve got to get a new view finder!  Happiness comes from within–not the absence of family drama, lack of human voices or the absence of dampness, mold or mice–dampness, mold and mice were part of the mountain house issue.  There is no escape!  One can only surrender to the external world and change the inner attitude in order to find peace, serenity and happiness.  Let me laugh at the family dramas, the loud smelly downstairs neighbors and the traffic and rest!  It’s all illusion anyway — may as well.  Or–mice or men?  mice or men? hmmmm.... what a choice!  Neither one!

Ahhwwwhkkkkjjkkhk…. and can’t you  just hear the glee of certain people who love to see this person struggle with it all?!  But that’s just it; there ‘is’ no person here, only energy playing out just like the weather plays out!  Certain conditions create certain weather–how much of it are we personally responsible for?  Weather is.  Downstairs couples who argue are.  The Sun is also out, the roads are clear and my car runs!

Ideas arise as suddenly as anything else!  and one has just arrived which causes me to end this silly diatribe now with the hope that something written here will serve some useful purpose to another in some way.   (If nothing else, this bit of a vent is one example of how a Cancer Full Moon can express–ugh!)

There’s always tomorrow….. and hope for a brighter day!