We’ve All Been There or Will Be Eventually; Sharing Common Experiences of Loss; This one’s for my brother – Oracle Wisdom from Tarot 5 of Cups

I am thinking of my brother this morning and his very ill wife, hospitalized and last we heard not expected to remain on this plane much longer.   My brother is very far away geographically and isn’t often in-touch but still—what can we do or say in this situation?  Generally, what can we who are on the outside do in this type of situation? 

I am not sure of the question and that’s really never good in divination methodology.  I guess, thinking back to a moment ago, the question in mind just as I pulled the card is what advice could I give to my brother?

Can the Tarot Oracle help in some way when there is a loss of some type or in situations like with my brother, when someone is facing the eminent loss of a spouse? 

It is not surprising at all that I drew the card of the 5 of Cups.  Just look at the image above and how it relates to my brother who is facing some difficult days ahead with his wife in the hospital not expected to live much longer.

Let us find some wisdom here for him or for others who may have a similar situation of some type or who are dealing in any way with loss.

Blood is spilled on the table in the image and something cannot be reversed—once blood is spilled from the cup (in some tarot decks they say ‘milk’ instead of blood)… anyway, once it is spilled, it cannot go back into the cup.  Here we can see the symbol-ogy of loss for sure and the man in the image is staring into nothingness, perhaps in shock and sadness.

We’ve all been in that state at one time or another in life and if you haven’t ‘been there, done that’, chances are it’s only a matter of time before you know exactly how that guy on the card is feeling.

It’s a shock and one needs sometimes that immobility and withdrawal to process what happened.  I am thinking of an episode on Grey’s Anatomy (TV series) when Izzie laid on the bathroom floor in her gown for a good many hours processing the loss of the man who she saved medically and died suddenly from a complication from a heart transplant.  He had just proposed to her and she’d accepted.

Life and death are part of life and while we celebrate births, we generally mourn death; yet, it is such a common experience to life—especially as we ourselves grow older.  And while I don’t know if this would help my brother or not (believe it or not, I barely know him), maybe there can be some comfort found in knowing that these moments or loss are common and perhaps some solace can be found in knowing that what one feels is something that has commonly been felt by so many others who have experienced such similar losses.  It may help to remember that in life we have common shared experiences.  We may think that no one else could possibly understand how we feel – but others do.  They had the courage to see things through and so will you—others understand and will help.

In my mind I am seeing a heart –shaped cup which has been broken.  Cups in Tarot relate to the suit of hearts in regular playing cards and also to emotions.  I think the important thing that this card reminds us of has to do with not feeling regret—this, indeed, is self-punishment at a time when the emotions are difficult enough.  Do not blame yourself for there was nothing you could have done; when it is someone’s time, it is just as perfectly timed and divine and as it should be as when a flower opens and blooms.  Birth and death alike happen in exact timing—or so goes my belief about it all.

If our birth chart is in perfect order (and I believe it is) then why should the time of death be any different?  It is exactly as it should be.  One of our greatest lessons in life is to accept what “is” and surrender to that–death is a teacher for us in that regard.  “Grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change….” as the prayer goes.

Typically this card speaks these words, “a depressed man mourns the loss of something that was a great comfort”.  I don’t think I could have pulled a more appropriate card considering the issue in mind when I did the shuffle.  This man must remember that all is not lost and he must consider a decision about what to do next or where/how he would like his life to be now.  All is not lost as there are still several cups still upright on the mantle nearby—that’s what those cups there mean; they represent rebounding after a difficult loss.

When we are grieving, it is hard to see those cups or to focus on asset or any advantages—that comes later, but it does come.  The warning has to do with not overindulging in the grieving process but to rather re-evaluate life from the changed situation.

It takes great imagination if one isn’t customarily working in areas of the afterlife to imagine the loved on being happy, content, liberated and free.  Humans are usually to focused on their own loss and imagine the loved one being as sorrowful as they are.  I don’t know if my brother would be able to understand how relieved his wife will be to become liberated from her body which has become a difficulty for her spirit.

If he can remember that to some degree, then he can allow his own survival instincts to kick in and this will help to alleviate his grief.  Eventually, he will focus on the gifts of life again rather than what has been lost—that’s what those two remaining cups are about.  One affirmation that can eventually be used to help those who have suffered a great loss of any kind is this one:  “From my loss I gain the experience to create a brighter tomorrow.”  I know at the time the loss is new and fresh, this type of affirmation seems ridiculous, but healing will take place and there will be brighter tomorrows; you’ll see.

I love you brother!  — and for casual readers of this blog, i hope there is something here for you to use somehow for yourself or with which to help others.

My Bird Story! Devoted Female Cardinal Tapping At My Windows And My Childhood Parakeet

My Feathered Friend! This image is a look-alike, not really her. The other images are look-alike's too. I can't get her and her mate to stand still long enough to snap a shot... they're both camera-shy I guess. Me too actually, so I "get it". LOL

Not rain, nor wind, nor sleet, nor snow will keep (not the postman but…) this bird from her appointed rounds! This bird has a zealous nature and seems particularly devoted!

Today, there’s a diversion from my normal posts with divination messages that are inspired by tarot cards and astrology. I can’t hold back writing about her any longer! Maybe I’ll make two blog posts today, pulling a card from the deck later, but for now I’ve got to get Ruthie out of my system—yeah, I named her (after my mother).

She’s a female cardinal who is accompanied by a very quiet and laid back companion named after my dad. They are like family now having been a noisy part (her not him) of my life since well before the first day of spring.

Ruth hasn’t missed a day, even when it snowed and froze over a few times or in a heavy rain event like this very morning, from her self-appointed job—tapping on my bedroom window in the morning, the kitchen window when I make coffee, the living room window when I sit at the computer or the sliding glass door in the back when I’m in the den.

No, REALLY.  This bird actually knows which room I’m in and follows my steps throughout the day! At first, I thought it was co-incidence. After all, how can a bird be so aware of my movements inside the house? All I know is that she is.

And when the phone rings or I’m on the line with a client, she hears my voice and hangs on the screen door for long periods or she flies directly up and down repeatedly parallel to the sliding glass door. Now, I have to say that I don’t know all that much about bird behaviors or what’s normal or what isn’t, but I’ve lived in this house for over 5 years and never had such companions!

Yeah, I know what they say (I spent a little time googeling a while back).  About female cardinals they say that they are seeing their reflection in the glass pane and, thinking it’s another bird, they are trying to frighten it off.  (Supposidly, its a territorial protection thing.)  I actually bought that for a while, but this has been going on way too long and consistently for that to be the real case.

As she engaged in her daily tapping on my bedroom window routine again this morning and I talked to her as I usually do (she stops tapping with her beak, tilts her head, listens to my voice and chirps back), I got to thinking about names. It’s always been my belief that even though parents think that it is they who name their babies, that the soul of the baby telepathically communicates their chosen name to their mother’s consciousness while in utero.

I was considering that while thinking about how I named this bird after my mother because of her incessant tapping.  It reminded me of how my mom used to tap her fingernails on the table—both types of tapping fall into the category of irritating. Yeah, my mother could be and this bird sometimes is too!  Yet I miss Mom and if this bird decided to move away, I’d miss her too.

My mother crossed over in December of last year and in the late days of winter, this cardinal showed up along with her very quiet and polite companion. With his demeanor being so much like my father’s, and since he’s Ruth’s companion, I named this bright red feathered friend after Dad. So this morning, she tapped and I talked and after a bit of that, I walked to the kitchen to make the coffee. She flew along the side of the house landing, as she usually does, outside the kitchen window so we could continue our conversation.

Waiting for my coffee I wondered to myself if she didn’t name herself like babies do! My mom promised me that she’d get a message to me after she crossed over and maybe this is one way she’s doing it—who knows? Go ahead and color me crazy if you’d like… I’m quite used to it. I talk to this bird like I talk aloud to my spirit guides half the day—it is what it is. Anyway…

You know, this feels like I’m writing an article for that old “True Confessions” magazine—remember that one? I wonder if it’s still around. This is probably boring stuff, and who knows if maybe all my blogs are, but I’ve just got to write about Ruth and her companion today.

Did you know that cardinals mate for life? He’s a hoot, you know? She’s all excited tapping on the window and flying up and down along the sliding glass door and he’s grabbing seed from the bird feeder and putting the seeds in her mouth which calms her down a moment or two and then she’s back at it again–and then so is he. It’s comical. Google says that this is normal bonding behavior. But I have something else to tell you about regarding Ruth and her bright red companion.

I am going to see if I can scan the picture. You see I had a bird when I was let’s say around 10 years old or so, a parakeet. My brother and I both had one. I loved my bird. I actually did managed to drag out the photo from an old album… I was so happy about those birds when our parents bought them for us!

Anyway, as these things go, sometimes during full Moon times my psyche seems to want to do these life reviews—go figure. And various memories pop up, mostly things I regret or memories of stupid things that I’ve done in my past rear their ugly heads!  And then I end up apologizing to the ceiling for them!

This bird event was one of them. There I was yelling up toward the ceiling and out to the ethers, “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” You see, about this bird:  I took the cage outdoors, with the bird inside no less, and placed it on the porch to clean the bottom of the cage.

You know how you slide out the bottom, replace paper and slide it back in again, right? Well, the bottom wasn’t in correctly and I lifted up the cage and my pretty light blue bird flew out!

I loved my bird and was devastated!

There I was during a full Moon at 2 in the morning flashing to a scene where I’d just learned the bird was found dead and was laying on my bed crying. My brother in his effort to comfort me is at my bedroom window outside with my dad and he calls to me, “Don’t worry, Dad is burying him right outside your window.” I cried even louder!

Usually when full Moon memories like this haunt me, I get up and meditate. On the worst occasions I’ve had to take 2 Advil PM’s to knock myself out! On the night of the full Moon bird drama memory, I threw off the covers, marched down the hall toward the kitchen and headed for 2 PM’s. I’m NOT going to lay here apologizing to a bird from 50 years ago!

In the days that followed, I found myself wishing for a bird. Trust me, the feeling was so strong that if there’d been a pet store anywhere within driving distance that sold parakeets, I’d have been there!

And it wasn’t but a heartbeat or two away from when I had those feelings that Ruth, the female cardinal, and her companion showed up. And they’ve been with me ever since.  Did I attract them through my desire?

I got to thinking not long after that how I’d actually feel sad to see a bird in a cage. Birds should fly free!

Ruth does and she’s a nice feathered friend to boot!

PS—it wasn’t the bird feeder that attracted them in the first place. (And, I hear her out there now actually chirping while I type this line.) I didn’t buy the bird feeder until long after they moved in, so-to-speak.

Also, I wanted to mention that my mom has communicated with me a number of times since her crossing, but hasn’t mentioned the bird.   And I have duly apologized from my little girl self to the pretty light blue parakeet–quite a number of times actually.

Anyway, that’s my story and now my story is done!