Day #28 Substituting Hope and Trust When Any Fear Emotions Bubble Up – What I Was Doing when Venus Transited the Sun

Alright!  We’ve landed on Day #28.  Something really big is going to happen (if all goes as planned–and it will~!) on Day #37.  So there’s 9 more days to go and its a bit difficult to be patient now.  That’s probably my own fault for being too much of an overachiever which really stems from fear-ish like paranoia that goes this way:  Hurry and don’t put things off in case at the last-minute something happens and you run out of time or some other type of energy!  

I was that way in college too–always had my assignments done and ready to hand in ahead of time.  And then when the professor gave time extensions because others weren’t ready, the temptation to be righteous about it was hard to resist.  Anyway, better to be early rather than late–ask my family; I’d always get to the plane or train hours early.  Hurry up and wait–that’s me.  You too?  Well that’s just how some of us are wired; embrace the neurosis.  As phobias go, there are worse ones to have I suppose.

Yet, I am still feeling a bit of that feeling from Day #22… you know, the protective roof being removed yet do see the prediction from a week ago about quick and steady progress has indeed been manifesting!  This past weekend my daughter and I worked harmoniously together to the tune of gearing up the final stages of things–she was a great help to me. 

I am finding that I am letting go of a way of life that I’ve held for 9 years on one level and about 14 years on another and it totally feels like a new phase, a new chapter–the page has been turned!  I am saying goodbye to the old and piecing together in my mind what the new will be like and how I will use my time in new ways.  I think it’s good that these final 9 days are ones in which I can gradually slow down, look around and inventory the whole affair. 

It is strange in a way because what I am doing is something that I never thought I’d do–ever really, ever!  And that is because I thought that if I did make this change and agree to the committment that it would feel terribly sad–NOT!  And that NOT really does mystify me sometimes.  It just shows me that when the time is right and the stars are in alignment (and mine ARE; but I’ll spare you the details but to say my natal lunar nodes in the 4 and 10 astro houses are merging with the transiting nodes this year and my 4th house Jupiter in Scorpio is opposing transiting Jupiter from the 10th.  Let’s not even talk about my progressed Sun just moved into my 5th House!) 

That parenthesis above mean nothing to do if you don’t know astrology and I apologize since I did not spare you the details.  Yeah, so anyway… 9 more days and an old part of my life goes bye-bye and a brand new adventure begins! 

I’m getting some hints about what’s coming–people are asking me to teach astrology and I’ve been thinking about it all at the same time.  It’s only Wednesday and already 4 people have asked me about teaching an astrology class.  I hesitate thinking I don’t know enough, but then  again I do know a bit more than a brand-new beginner would and those types would be my target students I suppose. 

I intend to teach an in-person local psychic development class–and now I am mental-izing how to follow through with these ideas.  I’d love to interact in person with students–the Internet class is fine but I’m open to expanding that and these are ideas ruminating in the mind right now.  We’ll see how it goes but this is how my psyche and spirit work it seems–people start asking me to do what I’ve been thinking of doing and so that becomes like the validating push.  Does it work that way for you too?

Right–so anyway after having recovered from some physical fatigue and spent short segments of time staring at the ceiling over the past weekend it was like two steps forward and one step back.  I seem to have to integrate it during a rest phase and then get back at it again as I work toward Day #37. 

At the start of this sudden project and  committment toward a major change, I didn’t know if it would take 30 days or 60.  Things have been moving quickly as I’ve said all along.  Any periodic apprehension is being handled by me through intense devotional prayer work to which I find that something happens shortly after to soothe any of that by giving some supportive validation–something encouraging happens to smooth over any worry wrinkles.  Bad for the complexion as well as the soul–those are!

VENUS crosses the SUNNot much more to report about it all but to say when Venus was doing her transit over the Sun which started from 6 pm EDT  last night I happened to be dealing with my check book, bank balances, bill payments and the like!  Didn’t think of that until today but Venus does rule the 2nd house which is often associated with “money”.  I don’t know what conclusion to draw from that really.  So what!  Right?  Yet as Venus came between the Sun and Earth we all must have received some sort of energy programming or the like.  Since my mind was, at that time, on $money$ issues, perhaps I was receptive to some positive programming from Venus energy as it relates to my essence, which for all of us is our Sun.  I do recall lecturing to myself as I began the task of looking at the money situation.  I told my self that I will not become in any way upset about money as I worked on the task!  And I meant it!  And I didn’t!

With my progressed Sun moving into the 5th house related to “children”, my relationship with my own daughters is strengthening and this grow more so each day.  Perhaps the Venus-Sun transit will help to continue to renew those loving relationships in the days ahead.

I’ve a client calling for a session and a busy afternoon ahead… I am asking to remain busy over the next 9 days so that I can forget the time to experience it quickly!

Meanwhile, each day I find that I am substituting any experiences of fear as they come up in the emotional body with trust and hope.  It becomes easier to do so despite anything else that should appear, regardless of what it is. 

Onward and upward as they say!

 
When you consciously embrace an experience of fear while shifting your vibration into trust or hope, you evolve! expand! enlighten! You GO!
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How to Handle Paranoia, Suspiciousness and Uneasiness that comes from Fear of Loss or Betrayals of Trust – Ace of Pentacles Offers Wisdom

Before you even read this post, I must offer the Buddhist perspective which is something that can alleviate this suffering of uneasiness or fear.  That perspective goes this way.  There is no “I” to feel suspicious, paranoid uneasy or fearful.  The “I” or the “me” is the ego which suffers, clings and self-cherishes.  The ego is also the mirror for the projection outward of what is inside of self.  So the paranoia etc. has to do with afflictions of the ego-self from past which are misconceptions or what they would likely call the ‘karma of thought’ … or mental afflictions, obscurations.  Meditating on these concepts and also visualizing the lightbody… the clear, lumionous, pure lightbody can also alleviate the suffering of ego clinging–i.e. paranoia, jealousy, etc.

It happens, has happened and will likely continue to happen at one time or another to all of us on some level.  I’m talking about being double-crossed, betrayed, stolen from and other human-on-human offenses—either in this lifetime or another.  Those types of wounds go deep and create within the human soul wounds that become triggered from time-to-time and to some degree.  And those old hurts create a certain phobia, uneasiness, paranoia.

We may say things to ourselves like,  “They did it to me once and by gosh they’re not going to do it to me again if I have anything to say about it!”  Maybe you were stolen from by those you placed your trust in and shouldn’t have and now the soul is on a certain hyper vigilance when it gets triggered.  Call that paranoia if you like but what do we do about it?

I turned to the tarot, drew a card with issue in mind and asked, “How do we best handle it when we have these feelings?” 

What I think of first is this saying we’ve often heard, “Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.”  But is that the right attitude to take?  Let’s see what wisdom we can derive from the ACE OF PENTACLES.

As I look at the card, two things come to mind.  One is about being grounded and another is about starting over as in new beginnings.  These are two archetypes of the combination of PENTALCES and ACES.

I am laughing at those keywords “grounded” and “new beginning” – it’s as if the oracle is clearly saying that the way to handle the paranoia is to find a way to ground in the NOW and to remember that each moment is a new beginning.  We, as humans, carry the past with us to some extend for it is all in our soul.  We’ve learned some hard lessons and don’t want to make those painful mistakes again; thus, the paranoia.  Something inside of us says, “Oh, no!  Not again; let me strike before someone strikes me first–or at the very least, I should take protective measures.”

Discernment is a big lesson—knowing who to trust and who NOT to trust.  We can get that confused.  How do we sort it out?  Well, turning to an oracle or using intuition can be helpful.

I’d say that when our stomach muscles are gripped, there is something trying to get our attention.  Are those feelings an over-reaction to be ignored or a warning to be heeded?

Sometimes we have to get some distance in order to know for sure which is which. We should not ignore these suspicious, uncomfortable feelings nor should we become a slave to them.

One way out of it is to apply a method called “The Work” by Byron Katie which is asking the self a the question, “Can I know for sure this is true?”,  “How does it feel when I think this thought?”  And “Who would I be without this thought?” 

The Ace of Pentalces also relates, on an archetypal level, to nurturing the mind/body/spirit on a deep level.  A good healthy meal, an enjoyable exercise of some type or a good old-fashioned nap could help—that or whatever seems to nourish the soul.  Sometimes, for me, that’s watching a movie.

If the feelings of paranoia or suspicions about something or someone create the level uneasiness that is relieved by taking an action toward self-protection; take that action if it nourishes the soul and then let it go.  Let that self-protective measure or action help to put an end to the phobia and the uneasiness that suspicion has caused.  Then go do something else; let it go.

By the way, PENTACLES relates to material matters or materiality.  So money/finances and loss/gain is part of the dynamic; so the oracle is giving specific information about what causes some of that and that is fear of the loss of money or someone taking from us what results in income in some way.  Survival stuff.  There can be also a fear of “loss of self” which is the ego fearing its demise.  Not possible but that’s paranoia. 

The roses in the image of the Ace of Pentacles reminds us of beauty and also the pain of the thorns.  Our fellow humans – some can be so beautiful and others can stab us with their thorns.  Or maybe we can stab ourselves sometimes too if we let our suspicious natures get out of hand.

Lastly, the angel with the money sign on this card seems to remind us that we must keep ourselves in as positive state as much as possible in order to receive the material gifts available to us.  And, worst case scenario, the oracle reminds us that life is full of new beginnings and help is available.

What will help the most to overcome these emotions is gratitude and the use of common sense; so counteract paranoia by focusing on your blessings and as I started with, by “getting real”—as best as you can anyway.

Know you are safe, protected and that you have total security.  Remember WHO really provides for your needs … i.e. a Higher Power.  Even if you don’t fully believe it, fake it until you make it.  It helps to believe we’re not facing this life without some sort of Divine Support.

One last final note—sometimes feelings of “fear of loss” can motivate us toward greater achievement.

I hope this little post helps someone out in cyber world.