New Years Eve 2013 Meditation and Loud Downstairs Neighbors

I really miss the High Country and can’t wait to get back! Civilization and city living sux!  This time I shall not forget this!

My bedroom looked like a church–an interjection from my catholic heritage (i’m an X) but for the blessed mother who has merged with Isis, Kwan Yin, Laxmi, Tara and other mother-goddesses in my mind.  Yet, the chant of the rosary is still very peaceful, very calming, stilling, quieting… and using the name of every higher being in my memory,  they were all called in last night.  Please, please dear heavens, let me have a quiet new years eve!  Let the downstairs couple shush a while, Amen.

Their voices were escalating as usual around up until 9:30 but after that… nothing.  Maybe it was my music.  It wasn’t loud but there are a great set of Dolby speakers on my old desktop in my room!  And I used them, called up Pandora on the Internet and played Heart Meditation music.  Then I lit my candles, placed a barrier of light all around my and between the floor and the chaos below.  I could hear nothing but the music and my own thoughts–!!  Amen!

Tomorrow Monsters Inc. will be open again (Lowes Hardware Store Headquarters) where the Indian people work; on a regular work day they should be barking somewhere else than beneath my feet!  Can I get another Amen Brothers and Sisters?  Amen!

It was lovely… last night.  Reciting my most favorite prayers and chants just barely over the sound of my breath with eyes slightly open to taken in the candles in front of my Buddha statue on one side of my room and the candles in front of the Blessed Mother statue on the other side and the heart meditation music on not too loud and not too softly… perfect.  After my chants I quieted for a good while hearing only my music–maybe the angels put the loudmouth Indian couple into a trance!  Who knows, who cares?  I felt completely alone like I hadn’t for days!  Beautiful.

After a good while, perhaps an hour or so, there were predictions for the year and in that state with only candle light, I did my best to scribble down some things that were coming in for the New Year.  Then back to my music and my peaceful mind and heart.

New Years Eve is a favorite time of mine for meditation.  One of the candles that I lit was from our solstice gathering — it was loaded with intentions for the new year.  I thought of people who might be suffering for various reasons and did the Buddhist Metta Meditation for a while with tears streaming down my face.  I promised to be a better person and felt truly sorry for times in 2012 when I wasn’t and then forgave myself and forgave others.  I asked for blessings for each of my family members by name with my heart and mind infused their highest and best intentions for 2013 (something we worked on at our solstice gathering).

Earlier in the day somehow my intentions were fulfilled to have quiet for my writing (the astrology class) and through this miracle hours of writing took place which left me with great satisfaction.  Then I did my indoor exercises followed by a night-time walk at the jogging park a bit of a distance away from here.  It was dark and breezy, temperature in the 40’s but walking on the gravel reminded me of  the crunch of snow under my feet the way it was walking in the mountains.  My music was loud on the mp3 player, and I was there alone and the cold air on my face was exhilarating.  There were plenty of street lights and parking lot lights surrounding this place that I had all to myself–reminiscent somewhat of my hikes in the mountains.

I came home to Lord and Lady mouth downstairs and let me tell you ‘he ain’t no Deepak Chopra‘!  And she?  her sounds are very irritating to anyone’s ears no doubt.  It is nearly comical actually thinking of how they could stand to listen to each other’s sounds all day and all night the way they go on!  How much could one person have to say to another?  Since before Christmas–on and on and on day after day and trust me they are not always happy sounds!  Sometimes they fight horribly.  I’ve begun to notice the sound of banging on the  wall which must be from other neighbors in the building when they get loud.  Ah-ha and that is somewhat comforting that it is not me alone who is sending them signals.

One night I just tapped gently on the wall by my bed to let them know they could be heard.  That quieted them for only about 10 minutes!  They yesterday I did loose it after being awakened by their loud arguing mouthings.  I didn’t mean to… it was probably a response to being awoken in the morning to arguing human voices that caused enough irritation that I slammed the wall with my fist so hard that I startled myself–it was reactive and not premeditated.  Wow, where did that come from, eh?  That got me a few hours of peace afterward but I felt bad all day long for losing control.

I need to go back to writing my astrology class now… enough energizing the downstairs neighbor issue!  Yet, I do believe in the power of intention and others energizing an intention.  Like I said, Monsters Inc. can’t resume business calling the Indian computer geeks back to work soon enough as far as I’m concerned! (apologies to my Indian friends and clients — i know these two birds below me must be rare and not like you at all)

In the meanwhile, maybe others reading this (no matter what day you stumble across it) could help energize my intention to have a quiet peaceful place to live and work–yes?  Could you think that thought for me for a second now?  Thank you.

One last thing–as I told my daughter, since they’ve moved in dreams have been very strange!  And then last night there is the realization why.  After my very nice New Years meditation –which by the way is fun to do with eyes closed and no clock in view anyway  because you can feel the energy build from all over the time zone you’re in and then it starts to peak and you FEEL exactly when new years is!  Lord and Lady Mouth must have passed out since not a whimper could be heart over my soft music and there was no external sounds at all until well after midnight when somewhere there were fireworks off in the distance.

And in the mountains in the past 15 years it is very quiet too–so the point is that it is that on New Years Eve, by the energy build up you feel in your own body which permeates the whole North Eastern part of the United States here,  that indicates when it is 12 midnight New Years Eve!  And before that time–yes some lower life forms are getting drunk  LOL–but many others are also meditating and to be tapped into that energy is very close to total bliss.

Again, I thank the powers that be for Lord and Lady mouth’s silence last night.  Amen and thank you again!

I can actually, as I listen to his muffled voice going on non-stop right this very minute now as I type and as  it has for hours with her high-pitched inflections inserted… I can actually feel so grateful for what freedom i have from that in that I’d not be able to be her.   To have to be in her shoes would be a very special kind of hell for me–to have a man lecture and scold me for hours on end in that way while imprisoned with no escape from him, no car and today it is raining.  Oh, how awful that would be for me although she laughs and carries on to the point where I don’t think she minds it much.  It just amazes me that two people could talk so non-stop, amazing!

Well, the dreams I understand why I’ve had strange dreams after last night.  I fell into a peaceful slumber around 1 am after my new year meditation and next thing I was trying to help a very weak man who was in a wheel chair and had fallen and he was no more than skin and bone.  I could not reach him…  there were metal bars and things between he and I and the next thing my eyes open and the realization is that the couple downstairs are yelling at each other in their bedroom directly beneath my own!

It was quite loud.  Spontaneously I jumped out of bed half asleep and yelled, “Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey….” as I stumbled to the bathroom, glancing at the clock… it was 2:45 am and on my way back to bed, turned on the fan for some white noise and somehow fell back asleep while thinking Oh my gosh, no wonder I’ve been having strange dreams since they moved in! They talk and fight in the middle of the freaken’ night too!? omg!  Yeah, they were totally YELLING at each other at 2:45 AM.

Well, now I’ve  used this time to type another diatribe –instead I could have totally written about the next planet for my astrology class.  Sigh!

There was a maintenance man here yesterday asking to check in the water heater area to see if any patching of the drywall needed doing–he had the wet plaster in his hand.  I mentioned the couple downstairs and he said he’d speak to them since he was going there next.  Didn’t do much good apparently! sigh again!

Okay I’m going to grab the TV controls and put on Pandora and try to drown them out with my music.  I’d prefer total silence when I write but…. that is what I continue to prefer.  Now where is the remote?

This too shall pass as my mother used to say… it will.

Monsters Inc. will want them back to work soon!  and someday their Visa will run out!  And they will board the plane back to their Mother Country…. buh-bye.

No worries; I can outlast anything; I’m tough!  I will survive.  (I have to until my lease is up at least and until i have the $$ to move!!)

Oh, and Happy New Year!  I will post the predictions for the New Year next blog.

I really miss the High Country–I’m moving back to the mountains as soon as I can save enough money! 

My family will be fine without me.  My sister is here now for them…. besides civilization sux!

I WILL TRY TO HEAR AND SEE MY NEIGHBORS WITH THE EARS AND EYES OF COMPASSION!  THEY ARE LIVING SOULS DOING THEIR BEST TO NEGOTIATE THIS WORLD JUST LIKE ME.  THEY SUFFER AND CELEBRATE JUST LIKE ME.  I WILL DO BETTER AT SEEING MY NEIGHBORS WITH EYES AND EARS OF COMPASSION… THEY ARE AFTER ALL,  LIKE ALL HUMANS, ONLY DOING WHAT THEY BELIEVE WILL BRING THEM PLEASURE AND THE AVOIDANCE OF PAIN.  

MEANWHILE, DEAR DIVINE INTELLIGENCE, GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT WHAT I CANNOT CHANGE…. PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE, ANIMALS ARE ANIMALS, FLOWERS ARE FLOWERS AND LORD AND LADY MOUTH SIMPLY ARE… AS I AM AS I AM

Advertisement

A Little Winter Solstice Amongst the X-mas Madness

Winter Solstice during X-Mas Craziness

I’m more plugged into nature (such as it is in this concrete jungle) since opting out of the madness of X-mas while focusing more on solstice. I’m very grateful for the line of trees outside of my balcony and for the birds that come to the bird-feeder!  Life would may be unbearable without the local trees there and the birds.  There are many birds there because I’m sure many homes were lost to building the interstate and the malls.  Anyway, I think I’ve always recognized and in my heart held it within my own inner awareness on New Year’s, December 31^st.  I usually spend that day very quietly and in meditation.  X-mas had to be with family—I’d come down from the mountains for the holiday clamor and clatter. This year, however, missing the solitude of the mountains, I’ve turned to the ‘solace of solstice’ if you don’t mind a play on words.  The word solstice means “sun stands still” from the old Celtic. Anyway, polarities now are so interesting.  As I watch the hustle bustle of the holiday shopping frenzies existing all around me in this city here versus what is happening in nature—quite contrary.  At a time when it seems natural to slow down and turn inward, the commercialism gods have people running in circles to meet a deadline, turning up the angst and turning away from nature.

I was just on dictionary.com a while ago and a hyper female voice came out from beyond my opened pages on my laptop screaming about saving 60 to 70% on something or other for X-mas.  You can’t get away from the vendors screaming at you to buy something even when you go to look up a word in an online dictionary!

Is it designed this way by some negative force that… well, best not to go into paranoia or conspiracy theories.  It’s just that I’m more focused on the trees, the wind, and all aspects of nature these past few weeks.  And everything in nature seems to be saying, “It’s time to go within; to slow down; to notice the changes.”  Instead, people are focused on a materialism ritual to which they seem to have totally lost the connection to any meaning. Yeah, I know; it’s great for the economy and all that, but….

In order to counterbalance all of that in my family this year (since I’m here and not home in the mountains), I plan to introduce them to solstice.  We will go to the woods and hang up birdseed loaded onto pine cones and other gifts for the birds and animals.  I don’t think myself masterful enough to entice them to meditate as they are always competing for who is going to talk next and we’ve got a family member who wants to direct everything everyone to distraction; but at least there will be no super stores on Friday.  Only a nature hike and then we will sit at home in a candle lit room and do a few other things to mark the change.  Wish me luck turning them away from the malls and madness.  If nothing else, the birds and squirrels will be given some treats, we’ll all get some exercise and maybe I can get them to notice the trees and naturally growing holly.  I’ve a number of little nature rituals planned if I can get them to clamber down enough.

I’ve no doubt the younger ones will get into it; it’s the others, so we’ll see.  For the time being, my granddaughter and I are enjoying the various preparations.

The Winter Solstice is December 21st (2012).

Tarot Oracle Helps Solve Toad in Cellar Issue – Strange But True Story

5 of Wands

I have something on my mind… an inner question.  Maybe it’s a silly one.  I have been dealing with issues in the cellar—a long story that I won’t bore you with involving a dehumidifier and a damp, leaky and unfinished half-basement. 

There’ve been salamanders down there—I’ve caught a glimpse of them once or twice in all the years that I’ve been here.  So that is what it is—really a non-issue.  I just go down there to throw in the wet clothes into the dryer and then rush back up.  I have seen this toad though fairly consistently over the past year.  Oh, he’s small really and brown and he’s slow and seems old—doesn’t jump around much and isn’t afraid of people.  He holds his ground.  When the landlord is here or the Exterminator for the mice [which are no longer an issue, thank you] comes, I always ask what they see down there and every answer is the same:  just a little frog. 

Yeah, I think frogs are green and toads are brown but I don’t know for sure—this guy seems like a toad since he’s brown but we’re seeing the same little critter.  I used to stare at him and he at me while I put clothes in and out of the dryer, the whole while saying, “Okay don’t you jump–just stay where you are we’ll be fine—you leave me alone and I’ll do the same”.   

Now that I’ve been going down there to deal with a dehumidifier issue–sometimes several times or more a day I’ve been down there lately.   And of course, each time I see Samuel.  Yeah, I name things and so I call out to him when I’m there, “Hey Sammy where are you?”  Or “Sam, what-z up dude?”   Now, I don’t know why I think this little brown toad is an old male, but that’s my delusion maybe.

I’ve been thinking about him lately and wondering if he is in a hell-realm there and if I should find a way to scoop him up somehow and take him outside.  What’s he eating down there?  Maybe crickets or spiders or something and of course the leaky basement provides some water for him when it rains.  But now with a dehumidifier down there, maybe I’m messing with his ecosystem?

How would he do outside?  He’s been in that hell-of-a-realm for a good while and he’s slow and maybe sick… could the outdoors be worse for him?  After all, who am I to interfere with Sam’s karma?  

I think of a Buddhist teaching about how our ego/personality mind will create problems where none exist or will worry just to give itself a job to do if you don’t give it something better to do. 

And I do have better things to do.  I need to get a life, right?  I have a lot of home and yard projects and my psychic work and other things that I’d like to call “a life”.  I want to get this issue with Sammy the toad out of my mind!  I’m going to turn to the tarot cards—believe it or not—to ask what to do about Sammy.  Should I leave him alone or try to get him out of the hell-of-a-realm, scooping up and escorting him outside?  Maybe ole’ Sam has lived down there longer than I have –maybe he was born down there and maybe didn’t just somehow hop in around a weak cellar window by mistake.  Who knows?

The bottom line question:  With all things considered, is it best if I leave this toad alone?  What should I consider about that?  Okay, so I am going to grab my cards because I just want this to be resolved in my mind and I’ve decided that I will go by whatever the oracle says here!  So, let’s shuffle….

O boy!  5 of Wands [image above].  A guy in a boat, surrounded by stormy water.  My first thought is that this toad got washed into the cellar somehow during a storm.  Actually, I am thinking of that year when we had the remnants of Hurricane Irene… there was a lot of water.  So, apparently, he’s been down there for years.  I was only renting here for about a year or so when the rainy leftover’s of hurricane Irene came through here.

Listen, hold on a second… I have to put some seed in the bird feeder outside.  I put a day’s worth in during the morning hours because otherwise, this raccoon that looks like a big dog (I swear he looks like a German shepherd dog size-wise) comes by at night and eats it all. I’ve caught him red handed.  I tap on the window when I see him and he sheepishly walks away!  Anyway, the birds are calling…be right back.

Aside from the 5 of Wands being about unnecessary hassles, petty annoyances and trivial issues, I still don’t know what to do.  However, I do feel the card guided me to an understanding of how the toad got there to start with.   It seems that this card is telling me not to worry about it… that it’s a trivial issue. 

Actually, I already know that.  I just want to know if the toad is suffering I guess.  Let me shuffle again.  It doesn’t seem like a healthy environment down there… not much light coming in.  Don’t toads need sunlight?  Maybe I should google toad information but that is going to get my mind in even a worse tangle I’m sure!

I’m going to a yes/no format with my cards now… aces are indicators of a yes.  Is the little guy suffering by being in the cellar environment?  Yes or No?  (I added the words “by being in the cellar environment” at the end because while he may be suffering because all sentient beings do, my question is made more specific by adding the words in quotations to make the question more specific.)   Or we could ask:   Is the suffering of this sentient being increased by being in the cellar?  I like that wording better.

YES Answer; Ace in 3rd Pile is YES indicator

Oh, shoot!  Darn.  I got a YES answer to that question—Ace in the 3^rd stack.  And in the other two stacks of 13 cards, the top cards [which can also be ‘read’] are ‘The World’ and ‘4 of Wands’.  Gee, the 4 of Wands is about being outside of the home and happy.  And ‘The World’ is about ending/completion.  I’m starting to get the feeling that I should find a way to scoop up the toad and get him outside.  Maybe I will wait until my grandson comes to help me with that drama/trauma.  I don’t want to hurt Sammy, you know? 

Well, let me ask another Yes or No Question.  If this toad’s suffering is increased by being down in the hell-of-a-realm basement, shall I then scoop him up and take him outside?  Maybe he’s used to it down there and to take him outside would increase his suffering or a predator could get him; after all, he doesn’t hop much.  Geesh.  What a can of worms my mind opened up here! 

Okay, so shall I scoop him up and out?  Yes or No?  Well.  I get a NO to that one with a very weak, well yeah maybe indicator—an Ace [of Swords] in the 2^nd pile.   The Ace in the 2nd pile is saying, “Well, you could but really no you shouldn’t.”   That’s the way this Yes/No spread works-the rules.

NO Indicator: No Ace in 3rd Pile

You know I think that this frog’s fate [or this toad trouble]  is a doomed destiny either way and maybe we should let him die a natural death where he’s used to his surroundings and where he won’t be beat up worse [9 of Wands].  He seems to be coping down there.  The landlord may be sending some workers to clean up some building materials that were down there since I moved in.  I will tell them to be careful of the toad if they see him; hopefully he will go hide away from the workers.  The other 2 cards I received were 9 of Wands and 5 of Pentacles [Coins].  Yeah, you can see the contemplation that I’m doing about this reflected in the 5 of Pentacles and the 9 of Wands is probably a reflection of the beat up toad [I’m not sure but he may be missing a leg; thus the hopping problem] and also it is me beating myself up over this issue.  LOL 

I send him love and healing now and am not afraid of him hopping toward me like I used to be.  He may have lost a leg when he traveled via the gutter system during the storm.  Bless his heart.  I’d forgotten that — I had that thought last night when I saw him hop while I was down there; it was a strange hop and he sits tilted.  I think one of his legs is gone. 😦

I would like to bring him sunlight as a gift and a green lawn.  Last night I did leave a light on down there… I mean what the heck, light is light even if it is artificial.  Like I said, bless his heart. 

Maybe you will send him a little love.  Yeah, I know, he’s only a little brown toad with only one leg but all sentient beings deserve to be free from suffering. 

Now, I have settled this issue.  The cellar increases his suffering, yet I should not try to scoop him up to take him outside—we should let him remain in his familiar environment because either way, his journey on Earth is about over.  There are several indicators — the 9 in the of Wands; 9 indicate endings. And the other indicator of the end of the line for this toad is the card of  The World–the last card of the major arcana; the card indicating a completed cycle. 

It is more humane not to traumatized him further through my act of scooping him up and putting him outside; he’s used to [accustomed to] his present environment and is probably coping the best as he can–just the same as we all are. 

May he, and all sentient beings, be free of suffering!