When Life is Hard, Sit Unmovable, Allow Tears, It Clears, Then Act

I watched myself cry over the weekend and then the mud settled and the water became clear.  In love with synchronicity, I  just came across a recent Facebook post with this image and quote that sums it up:

Clear Water After Mud Settles
Clear Water After Mud Settles

Do you have the patience to wait until your mud settles and the water is clear?   Can you remain unmoving until the right action arises by itself?   –Lao Tzu

[credit for image and quote to Facebook’s ‘Mystic Path to Cosmic Consciousness’]

It doesn’t matter much what triggered it really; it could be the Scorpio Sun transiting right over my Scorpionic Chiron triggering the conjunction to the neighboring natal Scorpionic Mercury—all not far from the South Node.  A good summary is that I took a dive into the depths and everything got muddy; things got stirred up.  Family versus Career and old betrayals of trust…. am I betraying myself?  A good deal of resentment woven into the tears and feelings of loss were  contained in there too … loss of freedom; yeah, all that old stuff.  Probably a lot of it is simply emotional debris, mud.  I had to sit with it unmoving until I knew what action to take.  It took a while.

I will admit crying for hours (off and on) for the same hopeful benefit that all my posts end up here—that some reader will find it helpful.   It’s funny how blogs are.  When you type them, it’s like you’re talking to yourself; but then you let the cyber world in (based on who stumbles upon the post when) and well… it’s strange, that’s all. But then strange is the story of my life lately.

Take right now.  I have meditation music on Pandora on my TV courtesy of my Roku and it’s not loud, nor is it overly soft—enough to be heard without being offensive to the ears.  Yet I am also hearing the thudding beat of what sounds like someone hammering my wall and ceiling with a soft rubber mallet.  The drumbeat of some neighboring muggle’s stereo music player.  Yeah, this I knew I’d face sooner or later.  It’s strange because most other times I can pretend I’m here by myself—I try to forget that I live in one rather large house (like a Brownstone) with other people in it.  Like I say, strange.  And right now it increases my intense desire to be beamed up into the silence of space or to pack up and head back for the silence of the mountain tops.

Anyway, back to mud settling and the water becoming clear.  It sometimes does take a while to for the mud to settle and while it does all that it has kicked up seems to need to be cleansed from one’s own heart with one’s own tears.  To allow it is the only thing a person can do at those times—or at least for me this is how it must be.

One feels certain energy beforehand—perhaps anger, resentment, disappointment…oh, you name it.  It doesn’t matter and you know it’s not… well, you don’t know the cause or the cure.  So what I do is just sit and breathe, letting it be what it is—I let it show itself to me.  And this requires feeling it and the tears that are part of the experience of sitting and letting the feeling be what it is.  I do not hold it and thereby magnify it; I just let it be and I cry until it is cleared.

I did this.  I didn’t know I’d cry.  I started out feeling frustrated.  I sat, and sat and breathed and did not move…. Exactly like the quote above.  Then the tears flowed and the heart felt like would burst and more tears and the tears seemed out of line with the earlier frustration – they were – but something needed to be released.  There was a lot of mud and I could not see clearly but I cried until it all settled. There were a number of things at the core pushing the feelings forth from their depth—some I can do nothing about.  “God, grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, change what I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”   Yeah, right there at that point is where I was this weekend.

I found one thing at the core that I ‘could’ maybe do something about.  I’ve had a loss of freedom in certain areas of my life due to a recent geographical move and if I let it get out of control, it can become highly frustrating.  A bit like my house neighbor with the muffled drum beat banging at the corners of my mind as I type.  Yet, while typing I still hear the birds chirp as they visit the feeder just outside of the sliding glass door to the right of me and the meditation music to the left of me and my own fingers tapping on the keyboard.  I am here now and what is, is.  I find the rubber mallet type muffled drum sound unpleasant and the rest acceptable.

Ruling things out is what I had to do through my tears.  Just like I cannot control the musical neighbor, I had to sort through what I could do and let the rest go.  It was toward the end of the day when I realized one thing troubling me is that I’d lost my ability to be creative and expressive with my work at the drop of the hat with no time-table consideration.  Now days I have a time table, a schedule—an actual written schedule!  And my life schedule is dependent upon which family members have which days off and what days there is school and school activities—now the action is focused on the Xstian holiday school programs and those practice schedules!  These are now all a part of my life.  The spontaneity and freedom of being able to work through the night when the spark of energy became inflamed – well, those days are over.  I have to be up and atem’ at 6 am, but now with the time change make that 5 am.  Nice touch!

Well, that’s the part I cannot control and it goes along with me mourning my old life and trying to get used to the change—include the sound of a rubber mallet on my walls in in the list of what I’m having to get used to!  Whatever, it is.  It just is as it is.  Grand me the serenity to accept….

I realized that one core issue is that I’ve not written or recorded a single word of my intended intuitive astrology class!  And while it may be difficult to curb the flow of the creative juices since I have to kick those to the side to meet other obligations with family, I realized that there was one thing that I could do.

When the tears of frustration and resentment and betrayals began to settle as I remained unmoving as the Lao Tzu quote above advocates, I came up with an idea.  This originated from the ultimatum that arose as the mud settled.   I naturally reached a state of knowing that I could continue to cry or I could through my tears do something, take some action.  Through the silence, tears and the hours of unwavering sitting on the meditation cushion, an idea arose.

I realized that if I created a better space for working on the course that I want to offer—that taking this action could help to compensate for the lack of creative freedom that I’d become used to over the past 15 years.  No longer is my time my own and while grieving this loss, there is still motivation to help myself despite it.  I got busy the next day moving my desk to another part of my living room and in the cubby corner where my desk was, I surrounded myself with my shelves of astrology books and notes.

I’d remembered something author Wayne Dyer mentioned a number of times and each time he did my energy would leap!  He said that when he wrote his books that he’d sit down in the middle of an empty room and surround himself with books from other authors and then he’d use intuition to grab the right book in the right moment for the right quote from an author or the right teaching from a teacher.  He said that it would all just be right there for him.

I’ve always loved being surrounded by my books—all that wisdom and knowledge being close to me… well, I could happily live in a library and that’s my idea of heaven but of course with many windows and plenty of gardens and wilderness to wander through also.  But before I lose my point, let me return to telling you what I did; but let me add that sometime ago the rubber mallet stopped banging.  I didn’t notice when it did exactly, but peace has been restored.  Thank you!

So, my desk is now closer to the sliding glass door which I like anyway and while I cannot recreate an empty room like Wayne Dyer did (I’ve heard him say that he rents an empty condo for a period of time to write with no distractions) and while I will have the distractions and interruptions of family obligations, I can do my best to create a conducive environment that support my goals in the ways that ‘are’ possible.  I can also call to the universe to help me release resentments and forgive betrayals and surrender to what is in the meanwhile.

Anyway, I placed my meditation cushions in the center of the little space and purchased some colorful rugs that remind me of Tibet for some reason.  Oh, perhaps I can take a little photo or two to post here…and while it is a small space, I hope to be inspired to use my time there to create the astrology class—the astrology gods willing.

Here… c’mon in and see what the clear waters after the mud settled led me to do…here’s my little space in my one room place for creating an astrology course….

Photo of My Astrology Den
Photo of My Astrology Den

Yeah, so it’s a small space and actually not as small as it looks in the picture.  I guess the point is that you can cry just so long and then it seems to me that you’ve got to  get up and take whatever action the clarity that is achieved through the release of tears and the mud settling reveals.  Wow, that was a long awkward sentence, but I’ll let it stand.  One does have to go through the process however.  And in my case, I had to demand the space and time to be able to do it.  And sometimes it’s very appropriate to do that!

Just for the record, this past weekend the Moon was in Cancer, opposing Pluto—probably pretty emotional energy for anybody.  Sensitive types would be affected more profoundly than others.  Like I said, it is what it is – grant me the serenity to change what I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

If all else fails, we cast a spell!
If all else fails, we cast a spell!

And then if all else fails—there’s always casting a spell which I do turn to once in a while, reminiscent of my wiccan/pagan past lifetime!  I still believe in them and have worked a few with the help of the divine energies that support my intentions!

‘Nuff said for now.

I’ve got an hour fifteen before I go pick up my granddaughter from after school singing practice… here’s hoping I make good use!

And as always, I hope this post will help another along the path.  I should blog more (note to self)… grant me the wisdom to change what I can, like I said.  Om mani padme hum!

Just wanted to end reminding about Scorpio energy—when the Scorpio Sun hits personal planets in Scorpio, deep stuff is going to get triggered I suppose.  I didn’t consider that until today (its Monday after the crybaby weekend!) and toss in a Moon opposing Pluto; yeah, that’s the way of things.

I feel much better today—taking that action (wisdom to change what I can) and the rest I’ll continue to accept what I cannot change while hoping my spell will weave a little magic!

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Tarot Guidance for Planting Hydrangea Bushes! 3 of Wands, Planting by the Moon Sign and Cycle! What’s Gemini got to do with it?

Connolly Tarot - 3 of wandsI turn to the tarot this morning to ask a practical question about planting three (3) Hydrangea bushes.  They are very small now and should go into the ground soon.  I’ve been debating about putting them in large pots versus planting them in the ground around the circle driveway.  My daughter and grandson are coming in three days and can help me dig the hole in the sometimes rocky ground.  It is on my mind today about how to proceed about these Hydrangea’s.  Can the Tarot help us with such practical, mundane life issues?  Let’s see!

Ha!  Well, it’s interesting because I drew the THREE OF WANDS (sometimes called RODS).  This sort of let me know right from the get-go of looking at the card that I’m tuned into the right issue based on numerology if nothing else.  The 3 WANDS clearly relate to the 3 plants (Hydrangea bushes) in question!  Its meaning also includes planning ahead and using foresight.

In the picture on the Connolly Tarot Card there are green leafs growing on the 3 wands (no flowers) but on the Hanson Deck we see flowers budding on the end of the wands. 

Anyway, this card is one that typically announces that help is available – “Someone is willing to give you assistance”.  This is clearly represented by the person in the boat with his hand on his heart who seems to be conveying advice. 

I will be going to a garden nursery today and will seek the advice of an experienced gardener there about the soil and while I know to get peat moss for the bottom of the hole that I must dig, I’m not sure about the soil.  That (soil information) is practical guidance and information I will seek from someone willing to help.

In the Hanson Tarot Card as it is with many other decks, we see the person waiting for the ships in the distance coming in while the man on the shore waits.  I think that I should wait for the help of my grandson and daughter—after all what’s a few more days?  I need to gather some local advice about the soil and get some supplies—peat moss, wood chips, some sort of border/boundary material to keep the grass out and then the right bag of potting soil if there is such a thing.  All that comes first. 

There’s also the Moon sign to think about—when to plant things based on where the Moon is@!  I know it’s not good to plant during the FULL or the NEW Moon—currently, it’s neither.  The Moon is waxing and 38% toward FULL so this seems to be OK as far as the cycle goes… energy is building, not dying or waning. 

Hydrangea bushes
Hydrangea

Yet, I found this on google, “When you plant in an AIR sign, the Moon’s influence is channelled into the blossom growth. Plant all flowers and flowering plants.”  Yeah, maybe I should go ahead and put them in the ground today.  Hydrangea are flowering plants!  They should get into the ground before dark today because around 7 pm (EDT) the Moon moves into Cancer.  If you plant stuff like melons, grapes or high water fruit plants or lettuce and watercress, cabbage or spinach and stuff like that, when the Moon is in the water sign Cancer, it’s recommended.  I do have a concern about that area getting too much water as it is! 

I totally better get going!  Using foresight and planning, I’ve considered the Moon sign and getting some advice by someone who is willing to give me assistance (a local gardener at the nursery in town).  While it wouldn’t be the end of the world to wait until my daughter and grandson arrive and plant while the Moon is in Cancer, just drawing this card and stopping to remember the Moon cycle planting methods had been helpful.  I’m planting today!  I want those plants to FLOWER and if planting when the Moon is in Gemini will help that—I won’t wait!  Like I said, better get going!  Opps, I just realized one other connection—3 hydrangeas, 3 of wands and Gemini (where the Moon is today) rules the 3rd house in astrology! 

Daily Divination 6-8-11 Recent News Reports on Truth versus Lies and Emotional Detachment – Being Lost – 4 of Cups and Moon in Cancer; Casey Anthony

I just shut off CNN and in doing so heard, “Casey Anthony seemed emotionally detached in today’s murder trial.” And then I come to my desk to draw a card for today’s daily divination—the tarot 4 of Cups, the archetype of Moon in Cancer.

Once when I drew this card the memory of being lost in the woods flashed and I’m thinking of that again right now. I’d hiked those trails before but on that day, I couldn’t find my way out!

Every trail brought me back to a part of the path I’d been on before—sort of makes you think of repeating patterns, doesn’t it?

The more I tried to find my way to the main exit path back to the parking lot, the more lost I became. I was going in circles, lost in a maze of trails that kept connecting to each other, none of which connected to the exit trail. It was starting to get dark and I was alone and lost.

The Moon in Cancer is totally about emotions and ruling the 4th house is also about self-image. Cups are about emotions, just like the Moon. I began to feel really pretty ignorant as I attempted to find my way out of the maze of trails—how could I be so lost? What in the world am I doing wrong here?

I was missing all the signs and the more emotional I got, the worse things became. If someone would have come along at that moment and asked me how I felt about myself in that instant, I’d have to say that I felt pretty ashamed and very down on myself.

How could this possibly connect with the Casey Anthony trial (accused of killing her little daughter)? I’m sure she feels the same way, but bump that up a thousand-fold.

I’ve known people who appear to be very emotionally detached like the reporter observed with Casey. People with a strong 4th house or Moon in Cancer or other strong Cancer signatures in their chart can appear detached, withdrawn, cold or without feeling.

Some of them might be but my sense is that a good many have very deep feelings and as a protective measure they shut down because their feelings are too strong to handle. They may be, like I was I the woods that day—lost, confused and feeling (frankly) pretty stupid.

I don’t have an interest in the trial of Casey Anthony but if you turn on the news these days, you can’t help but hear about it. The truth is that I don’t want to tune into it! But I do recognize the energy of someone who doesn’t know truth from lies and who appears to others to be emotionally detached!

We seem to be getting a lot of “truth versus lies” energy coming up on the news lately. The transiting lunar nodes are in Gemini-Sag, South Node North Node respectively.

Another big story involves the Anthony Weiner twitter scandal! More truth versus lies—lies being exposed—and we may see more of this as the transiting nodes remain in Gemini-Sagittarius. Sagittarius energy compensates by telling people what they think they want to hear rather than the simple truth.

In many tarot cards of the 4 of cups we see someone who is apathetic and apparently withdrawn and disinterested yet there are cups surrounding the person on the card and another cup being offered by the hand of spirit. Here appears someone who has the potential to have a good emotional life (cups) surrounding him and the spirit guide ia offering  even more opportunity,  but this soul cannot see or is perhaps using that energy in the wrong ways.

Like me in the woods, I was being filled with strong emotion for sure and it intensified each time I realized that I was again on the wrong path. Honestly! I kept coming back to the same spot on the trail. Here again!? How can I get out of this?

I had to calm down and finally did. I sat down a moment and centered myself in the oncoming darkness knowing every second was bring me closer to having to spend the night in the woods alone.

I could have detached like the person on the card of the 4 of cups and become more down on myself, giving in to the growing feelings of hopelessness. Trust me when I say that I really wanted to detach from what was beginning to feel like a full-out nightmare!

If a spirit guide or my higher mind was trying to tell me which way to go, my panic wasn’t allowing me to hear—I was deeply emotional and anyone looking at me from afar may have said about me too, “She appears emotionally detached.” I don’t think so! I was very emotional; there was a lot going on inside of me!  I was pretty self-absorbed.

I knew a man once who had a Sun in Cancer and used to think he had no emotions whatsoever! I’d think, Where’s this guy’s heart? In time I learned that he felt very deeply but it just didn’t seem to show it on his poker face—in fact, so there was a lot of emotion on the inside. Too much! I think many times he was battling within himself to maintain any semblance of composure; pretty much like I was that day lost in the woods.

My mind was muddled except for one focus—I had to get to the main trail; night was falling. I was getting lost in my own emotional reverie—in an emotional trance.

The deeper I went emotionally, the more outer awareness I lost and that certainly wasn’t helping my situation. This epitomizes one fairly strong meaning of the 4 of Cups and the Moon in Cancer.

In life people can be totally self-referring and self-absorbed regarding their own interests and desires.

It sounds like this was true of some of the behavior of Casey Anthony and also the US House Representative from New York, Anthony Weiner—that, at least, according to the news reports.

Of course, there are positive ways to focus on yourself and then there’s the opposite.

In my case, I needed to change my focus from inner emotional absorption to one of paying more attention to my surroundings so I could get out of that pickle!

I sat down under a tree like the person in the image on the card and had a slow look around as I breathed slowly and deeply, tuning in to my intuition. (This happened back in the days before I relied much on my inner perception to help in practical ways.)

I consciously asked for help as I centered and then decided on a path and took it. As I was making this attempt to find my way out again hoping that this time I was finally on the right path (even though it looked wrong by all other standards), I came upon 3 people who were coming toward me. I asked if they were coming from the main trail that leads to the parking lot and they affirmed that if I just kept on that trail that I’d be on the main path to the parking lot in a few moments!

Moral of that story—don’t give up, you will find your way!

You just have to get unstuck emotionally and if you open to your surroundings you will be on your way again. Becoming melancholy, indifferent or withdrawing doesn’t help in times of trouble unless it is only temporary until the direction seems clear.

Another bit of guidance offered by these archetypes has to do with determining what the source of true happiness is and where it comes from. People, like the two in the news lately that I have already mentioned, may appear to have everything to other folks. I mean some folks would love to have the prestigious and high paying job and relationship that the house representative had and I’m sure there are women having trouble conceiving a child who would love to trade places with that mother feeling that the responsibility of caring for such a beautiful little girl would be an honor and divine gift.

Yet, according to the news stories, both of these individuals were seeking to have interests and desires fulfilled on a different path.

Perhaps like me in the woods, they both wandered and then got lost repeating patterns and now the hand of spirit is helping them find their way back.

The Moon in Cancer and the 4 of cups archetype can be very much about getting lost in one’s emotions.

The polarity of Cancer is Capricorn. The Cancer/Capricorn (Moon/Saturn) is about emotional immaturity versus maturity.  On the one side of the polarity (Cancer) immaturity and  the other (Capricorn) maturing/growing up and dealing with reality.

We want to hide or withdraw because we don’t want to deal with the heavy emotions.  It’s understandable but immature.

We all have to do this eventually in one way or another— we have to grow up and take responsibility for the actions that we’ve taken that were based on emotional immaturity.

By the way, as most everyone who follows astrology knows, Pluto (the planet of transformation, representing the soul) is in Capricorn. On so many levels, we are all being challenged to do the “get real” thing that Capricorn is so famous for in order to affect transformation.

The economic bubble bursting is only one example of it—but a good one that we can see both nationally and globally. Toss in the transiting nodes in Gemini-Sag right now, and the energy of these days is about changing our beliefs, telling the truth, getting real and changing structures so that transformation can take place. Anyway…

These are a few thoughts on the 4 of cups and Cancer Moon that I hope that my writing about today has brought more depth of meaning to the card and the astrological archetypes.

As always, my hope is that something here has brought some sort of understanding, wisdom or guidance to the reader.

PS- I neglected to mention the Arnold Schwarzenegger’s 14 year lie that also made the news recently, but you get the idea. For astrologers out there—I just looked at Arnold’s chart: 12th house Mercury on a Cancer ascendant with a square from Neptune in the 4th. Nodes on 5-10 axis, with SN in the 5th in Sag. Interesting chart, considering.

ADDENDUM: here is something that I wrote (to a friend)  much later after the Casey Anthony verdict came back regarding the astrological correlations…

<snip> Talk about a psychological study and a “who done it”!  I read the book, it was a
quick read… Called “Mommy’s Little Girl” about her and toward the end
I watched the last week or so of the trial–daily! 

I’d have the TV on here and be listening while blogging and doing online
stuff.  Her father George Anthony was involved–I feel pretty certain– in a
cover up.  The whole family seems whack-o…. And correlating the 2 parents
charts with Casey’s and the little girl’s … There are quite interesting
correlations. 
Like I said, both parents are 1st house Sun’s … People
with 1st house Sun’s can be quite overpowering and controlling. 
Casey is a Pisces Sun with a Moon in Cancer—she has deep but confused
feelings and her energy is diffuse.  I can see how she is untruthful especially
as a 3rd house Pluto and in SCORPIO next to the SOUTH NODE in Scorpio.
So this SOUTH NODE (karmic past) with Pluto in the 3rd is past trauma
(Scorpio) and we could say persecution (Scorpio) involving death (Scorpio) that
is part of the soul’s past since it is the SN with Pluto.  And the Pluto-SN
conjunction is on the 3rd/9th axis which is the natural Gemini-Sag axis of
“truth versus lies”. 
A lot of times my teacher says that 3rd house Pluto individuals are very
opinionated and believe what they say is the one and only truth.
Typically there will be confrontations from others (in her case, most of 
the whole city of Orlando and most of the country is ready to confront her on
her lies). 
STILL nobody knows FOR SURE what REALLY happened to the little one. 
Casey’s defense was that it was an accidental drowning in he family pool
and her father helped her cover it up.  George (father) is very secretive…he’s
got a loaded 12th house with many personal planets there—Venus/Mercury/Mars as
well as Pluto and his SOUTH NODE in the 12th .  That’s someone who hides
stuff… The 12th house is about what is hidden.  See? George being sneaky and
hiding things seems to be validated by his chart. 
Casey (the mother accused) has that Pluto (mentioned above) RETROGRADE in
that 3rd house… So she’s been thru all this before in a previous life… This
is all Karmic… She is re-living conditions of her past which is
typical of a retrograde Pluto.
  I think she will learn this time and

resolve these issues. 
The little girl Caylee, her daughter who died has the mother’s very same
rising sign to the EXACT DEGREE…. The houses are all the same signs… Well,
Caylee is 20 deg 52 min Leo and her mother Casey is 19 deg 48 min Leo… That’s
one degree difference. 
MOST INTERESTING is that Caylee’s TRANSITING SOUTH NODE AND HER TRANSITING
MARS were crossing her ascendant on June 15/16 of 2008 when it is said that she
died.  Many times as Mars crosses the ascendant, accidents happen–people tend
to be very impulsive and take risks without thinking usually when Mars crosses
the ascendant–that is pretty well known by all astrologers… You hear
astrologer’s warn, “when Mars crosses your ascendant lay low and be
careful–watch out for tendencies to be impulsive.” That little one’s Mars and
transiting SN were crossing her ascendant at that time–June 15/16 of 2008 when
they say she died accidentally–according to the defense.  Astrologically it
makes sense. 
The fact that her transiting or evolving South Node (meaning past life
issues) was right there with mars (conjuct) going over the ascendant on that
date is interesting.  This, I believe, was karmic and we could say “written in
the stars”–this event which I do think, based on the
astrology, really ?? may have been an accident. –?? 
So this is as far as I’ve looked at the charts.  I think for Casey to be
away from her parents right now–ESP her father– is positive for her. (will
explain why below)
I was out with the kids when they jury’s verdict came back.  When I came
home, I saw the jury found her NOT GUILTY.
I watched the proceedings with an open mind like a juror would, I just
didn’t see proof beyond a reasonable doubt and feel the parents had some
knowledge (most likely the father more than the mother–who are both enablers
and controllers) and the whole family is quite crazy.  I think the mother,
Cindy, is really trying to awaken–issues of who to believe maybe?  She has
Saturn in the 7th house of relationships retrograde in Sag–who to belive is
what that signature may very well indicate.  Her North Node is in the 5th house
of children with Jupiter (beliefs) and Neptune (confusion/illusion/delusion) —
North Node in Scorpio means the soul has programmed in issues of a Scorpio
nature around children.  Scorpio is about loss/ betrayals/ power/ control/ death
and so on… And North Node is the souls intentions for the life…. So it looks
like this was programmed in for Cindy as well as Casey, etc.  This seems to me
to look like a karma drama playing out for the evolution of all the souls
involved.
Also in Casey’s chart we see that the 5th house of children contains the
Mars and Uranus… So we have the signature of unexpected (Uranus) loss of a
child there in her house of “children”, the 5th house.  Many times when we see
Mars in association with Uranus it can mean physical (mars) loss that is sudden
(Uranus).
My only point is that we do see the signatures in the charts of what
happened.
I’ve always been one to root for the underdog which Casey certainly
was/is…. And while I’m not saying that she has no culpability at all, my soul
knows the feeling of the persecution and so there was some level of compassion
for her in some way. 
Cindy (the accused’s mother)’s Sun is sitting on Casey’s Moon—so we can
see the overpowering of Casey’s emotions by the mother’s powerful 1st house
natal Sun. Her father, George’s Sun, is in Casey’s 1st house… Overpowering
Casey’s self image.
I didn’t look at Casey’s brother’s chart–his name is Lee.  Interesting
that the little girl’s name is a combination of Casey and Lee— the little one
was name Caylee which looks like both Casey and Lee’s names merged. 
Anyway… The point is that I don’t want to get hooked on any more
trials… This one was gross enough and took up way too much of my time for a
few weeks once I got hooked.  Again, my interest was based on the astrological
correlations.
I didn’t spend a lot of time  with these charts, just a glance….. and this is what I could see… a few impressions.  <snip>