Yeah, really? seriously? Wasn’t I just changing babies diapers the other day? How could this be happening to ‘me’? I don’t think of myself this way but being the good girl scout, looking ahead to be prepared, I see myself doing just what my own mother (God rest her soul–as they say) did when she was… well, yeah, I think right about my same age. She found herself a place to live with others of her generation on her limited income and (cat out of the bag here), I’m doing the same thing right now. I’m too early and way too young for this right? Probably not; but LO! it’s taxing filling out all those forms and trying to figure it all out. Which way to go? Which decision to make, while at the same time feeling completely at the mercy of the odds. There’s not many ways to go actually. You just fill out the forms and pray you can manage until you move up on the list–and until the odds are in your favor, try to survive.
“May the odds be ever in your favor”–Hunger Games.
Well, anyway Cancer Capricorn is part of that grand cross with Aries Libra. Yeah, there are the planets in those signs of course but let’s just think a minute about Capricorn/Cancer. Sort of strange how those merge isn’t it? Capricorn (age) and Cancer (the baby/the child).
Isn’t it as we age that we become more childlike? Think of (oh, do we have to?) those “adult day care centers”–I can’t believe they actually call them that! That’s a perfect example of the merging of Capricorn (old) and Cancer (baby). I just realized that just typed “old baby” and I’m about to gross myself out here and maybe you too reader!
And of course wouldn’t you know this grand cross is triggering my 5th and 11th houses and the 2nd and 8th. Issues with the community, with my children, with my money and the money of others. Yeah, that’s how it’s all playing out in my life–those areas are being triggered.
And it’s culminating, about to hit the fan as the saying goes. Well, eventually I’m going to need some help and so I’m lining it up here–that’s just me facing old age even though I kick my legs and swing my arms in the pool as often as I can to stay young. Yet, I’m falling into my mother’s footsteps to find a community of people my age where income is adjusted to what’s fair and reasonable. I’m not like these younger adults with a big corporate entity backing me up with a big paycheck every week; it’s just me out here mother/father god; just little ole’ me. And maybe I’m delusional but I do deeply believe that I am employed by that unseen force that helps me to help others when I do psychic readings, counseling and astrology. I’ve got a few calls into the ‘big boss’ if you know what I mean.
Meanwhile, I see some synchronicity–well, a good bit of it if I’m going to be fair in my blogging accounts. I found out about help that came about in just that way serendipity, coincidence or whatever you’d like to call it–the path was shown and I’ve been following it and getting more and more direction and information. So, I’m being led even though I see several possible outcomes, as if yet there’s no indication as to which one will manifest. I’m, therefore, in the trust phase; and they don’t call it blind trust for nothen’!
It’s triggering that Aries/Libra thing too (Mar in Libra opposing Uranus in Aries). I don’t like to ask for help and I want to remain independent and that’s hard especially as we are dealing with my money and other people’s money: houses 2 and 8. That’s the other part of the grand cross.
Wanting to be independent and yet needing to ask children and community–why? because I’m getting old and that’s still a hard one to admit since, like I said–it was just the other day that I was the mom of three little girls!
Yeah, and wanting to be rescued is part of that dynamic too. Right now would be a good time for prince charming to ride in with saddle bags of money or at least a big house! Not going to happen: I know my astrology chart pretty well. Even if it did, I’d very likely be held prisoner and Mars and Uranus would be totally pissed off about that!
For me the dynamic of this Grand Cross is kicking up some family issues and the realization of aging, housing, money for housing (Cancer — Jupiter [money] in Cancer [home]) and family/freedom issues. Echoes of my natal node’s soul lessons actually–what else is new?
And looking up and out the window now I see the most beautiful sunset; the bright pink-orange with the dusty blue-purple. And I think of the word Trust again and take a deep breath. I will know which direction I’m going (or if I’m not going at all) by the time I need to know.
Breathing deeply, feeling so alone in this but remembering I’m not.
I’ve got a partner in spirit world helping and I don’t do anything alone. Neither do you reader–we’re not alone, we have helpers and guides showing us the next step or keeping us from stepping at all.
Blind trust; that’s all we need. Again. And don’t expect anyone to be able to really understand; in fact, don’t seek to be understood–not this month. Mars and Uranus are very independent and their both very active right now! Just breathe.
(By the way, they [more adept astrologers than me] say this transit will stay intense through May. That’s when I must decide about renewing my lease–not surprised about the timing.)
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