The Body Intelligence

The body intelligence is the name of this bit of writing; best that could be for the moment, this day and time.  Anyway . . .

The flu!  The wretched thing!  Seems a few years now since even a head cold entered my bodily private domain.  Yet, it gives time for writing, contemplating and if my energy holds up later maybe even painting (pastel artwork).  Sometimes, however, it can be good to practice death. No, this isn’t me being overly dramatic—just listen a moment.  You can’t turn from it even though you would rather not be anywhere in its shadows, yet inevitably the body will shut down sense organs one after another.  NO wait, don’t stop reading.  Because oh, but what a gift close encounters, even if they are not our very own (family, friend or foe who may be sick or in a phase of transition—but no, let’s say the really scary word, death!) . . . like I was saying, any encounter with the endpoint from any distance offers us a gift if we keep our eyes open!  What gift?  Embracing the opposite of course – Life!  A deeper and more joyful appreciation of good health and the ability to do something, anything, which comes from our ‘creative-will’ our personal expression of ‘life’ – even if that is only a pleasant conversation with another.  Any expression of being alive on any level that is possible can potentially become a truly joyous event.

The local hospital has accepted me as a volunteer and promoted me to be the top person for patient relations.  The job is not as impressive as the title may sound.   Actually,  it only involves offering a smile, a hello and passing out a card from the auxiliary and offering magazines, newspapers, crossword puzzles and the like.

Yesterday here at home, life played out with chills and fever next to a pile of Kleenex feeling as if my throat was on fire was another glimpse, another close encounter – another good practice for the last page in the last chapter of this life as I know it to be now.  And my thoughts wandered to the hospital patients as it does now writing this.

And, of course, as one could expect, with fever back to normal today, am gifted with a deeper appreciation of life and the ability to affect the lives of others and my own in a positive way.  To create, to play, to appreciate, to breathe life into this body deeply and with more gratitude for the vehicle that enables my stay here upon the good earth.

People who know me or follow my posts are familiar with the mention of the history of losing consciousness; yep, I’m one of those “fainters”.  Physical or emotional overwhelm and out I go!  I realize how this is like a mini-death of sorts and one of the last times (in the hospital ER with an acute bladder infection), there was this awesomely peaceful kind of limbo state, vast and not-empty but full somehow.  No words can describe it.  Voices were calling me back into this world and I did not wish to return.  On another occasion, when I lost consciousness due to a gall bladder issue, a “code” was called because I could not be revived after losing consciousness.  That time, however, I didn’t recall the blissful openness and fullness as the time before.  My point here?  Forgive this writer still under the influence of Nyquil cold and flu medicine.  Well, I guess, my purpose in writing this has to do with me being grateful for these moments in which the body and I get to practice our final act.  Meanwhile, there is a turning toward life with eyes of gratitude.

One final thing.  It’s floating around in this woozy head and I’d like to try to grab at it the next time if floats by.  Here we go.  It has to do with the shutting down part.  How to say it?  Like yesterday, the focus was deeply inward – the body seemed very busy focusing on itself – dealing with the invader flu.  I guess in the death process (oh, this is how the Tibetans tell it and in the Book of The Living and The Dead), how the various bodily senses begin to shut down.  The body, I’d assume, is very preoccupied doing this – and there’s not much energy for anything in the external world.

Body intelligence is pretty amazing.  Think about it.  The body knows how to keep its balance, digest food, breathe – oh, so many things – without your or me consciously telling it to!  A good thing too, I’d say!  The body knows how to get a spoonful of food into the mouth straight away without us having to give directions—a little to the left, no down a little—in other words, the food doesn’t go into our eye or nose; the body knows what to do without our conscious mind directing.  Recovering from illness or shutting down to go into transition, it’s the same way.  The body and soul know what to do.

No big summary ending.  There’s only me picturing the self in the act of sorting through my pastel colors and placing them in trays according to color and hue.  So off I go with my box of Kleenex and a project to do, celebrating life all the way through!

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Being Called to Pause in Reverence for the Sacred Gift of Life – Solar Eclipse in New Moon Pisces at the Spring Equinox 3-20-15

ECLIPSEBeing called to pause in reverence for the sacred gift of life – Solar Eclipse in New Moon Pisces at the spring exuinox

It’s just over a month since the last blog–time flies.  The New Moon (Pisces) Solar Eclipse Spring Equinox thing carried forward (for me anyway) a theme that I’d been contemplating since before the New Year.  A theme of thinking about how precious each moment of our life is and how easily we take it for granted.   You hear people kvetching about their ‘soul mate’ or the ‘perfect job’ or carrying on about not ‘getting theirs’, whatever they think they must have to experience peace, happiness, joy, satisfaction and bliss.  Boy-O-boy its just never enough sometimes, you know?  “If only I could ____ or they would ____ or she/he didn’t _____” and meanwhile where’s the appreciation for life itself gone?  Where?   Sometimes we need a crisis to get it back or a crisis to raise what’s there even higher.

I always try to elevate suffering or mishaps or misfortunes of any kind–maybe that’s old Catholic training (‘offer it up for the soul’s in purgatory’–the nun’s would say) and of course Buddhist (more my own cup-of-tea as I age) speak of Tonglen Meditation with sufferings of any type (same principle).   So that’s why I write this blog to today, to elevate something.

So where were we?  Yes; revering and honoring the sacred gift of life.  Nothing takes away from that like bitching (sorry to be frank) about what you don’t have or what you want.  Boy–talk about lowering a vibe and being irreverent  and  not appreciative of the gift of one’s life!

And its not always about the relationship partner, the perfect job, benefit’s package or home with a view that keep folks out of tune with the cosmos, religious or so-called spiritual folks seeking the ‘highest dimension’ or ‘enlightenment’ can be just as distracted.

I’m talking about the simple things like that ability to breathe in and out!  Yeah, let’s go down to that level.  Our life is so precious and also so vulnerable and can change is a flash–in the blink of an eye.  We don’t want to think about it of course.  But all around us at any given time we see evidence of how quickly life can change or (yes it does) end completely.

I live near a main road that is in between the local hospital and the downtown area. The sound of the ambulance is frequent reminding me how someone’s life just changed.  Last year I had a dramatic response to a flu/virus and passed out from weakness and high fever–as I was loaded into the ambulance I wondered if it was to be the time of my exit from this life.

The truth is that absolutely anything can happen to us at any time and that’s my message and the message of this solar eclipse in Pisces — don’t take life for granted!

The Solar Eclipse underscored that for me this week, really driving the point home, putting that exclamation point at the end.

For months now, each day the appreciation of life and the sacred gift that it really is… our breath, or body, our movement, our each and every ability and talent… how it is woven into the fabric time and into everyone else’s life too… how interconnected we all are yet how vanishing it can all be since we and all of life are simply energy and consciousness playing out and anything and everything can change in a heartbeat.

I almost went down that road again but it wasn’t a road–more like a side alleyway.  And that little jog off the the main path of my life drove home the point and I felt that I really must write about it here, now.

Pisces Moon, by the way, at the time of this new Moon eclipse was at 29° –a culmination point.  It’s like dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s so-to-speak and for me it was regarding a realization of what I’d been working with or coming to grips with.  (And for astrology buffs–the Sun/Moon were in my 8th house, naturally ruled by Pluto/Scorpio, Lord of the Underworld.)

You know, people can give lip-service to how precious life is but not really getting it on an experiential level.  My life-partner of 22-years who is the father of my 3 daughters crossed over to spirit world this year and those ambulances go by each and every day.  On Facebook there are “friends” who post when a loved one is ill or injured or dying–we shouldn’t shut out or ignore those reminders around us but look straight at them and use them to pause in reverence for the sacred gift of life.

The deeper contemplation is how our mind’s are constantly drawn outward through the senses.  Yet, at certain times (and I recently had one of those) we are able to attain the vision of the undying self again.  I say again because there have been numerous sightings.

It was a few days after the New Moon Solar Eclipse and Spring Equinox of March 20, 2015 (a few days ago) when I suddenly (and I do mean suddenly!) fell ill.   I am still recovering here as I write this from a cold/flu that came on fast with chills/fever.  It came swiftly like last year–the chills. It was a rather cold and rainy night and none of my children were responding to my texts or calls and none have an extra key to this new place.  (I keep forgetting to get extra keys made.) What if that which happened last year happens again?  What if I loose consciousness with high fever?  

(for the record, I’m not afraid of dying–just don’t want my body discovered by my children days later–gross; but its the truth)

I had turned my heat setting up to 74 degrees and was wearing layers of clothing and a head covering beneath layers of down comforters and still was shivering cold just like last time.  I was alone.  There was nobody but the angels knowing of my condition, but luckily the major muscle aches and fever broke around 4 am and normal heating and cooling returned to the body–whew!  I’m now, as I write this,  left with headache, some stiff neck, sneezing, sniffling and stuffiness; but hope to raise all of that up to higher benefit by writing this blog today in hope that someone out there pauses, as I recently have, to consider the sacredness of life.

The whole time I lay in bed awake and alone (but for my angels and guides) with the chills of fever in the night, I realized how much I had really been appreciating life lately.  I was being called to pause in reverence for the sacred gift of my body which had been responding so well to my meager training at the gym and the physical vehicle which  provided lift and jaunt for a recent day hike around the zoo with my family.  How precious my body is!

I’ve always thought of these eclipse times as cosmic ‘attitude adjustments’–major life theme patterns change.  There are times when kvetching just isn’t part of the picture–call those times when our usual monkey-mind victimization talk is eclipsed somehow by Life Itself and  we come away from the experience with a whole different perspective.

We can most fully appreciate the sacred moments of our life when we are not attached to them, realizing they can change again in an instant.

Words from the Life of a Psychic and Form is Emptiness

Form is nothing but emptiness

Emptiness is nothing but form

Word from the Heart Sutra which holds my life together.

Form is Emptiness
Form is Emptiness

Here I go again–using this blog to sort out my personal life.  Therapy for an “off” day here and there I suppose.  Maybe that’s it.  Write it out and it is released.  Not energized further.  No.  Released, that’s all–sorted out and seen for the silliness that it is, the illusion that it is.  Maybe this post could be called something like ‘The Life of a Psychic’ or some such.

BLOG INTENTION, ASPIRATION:  Yeah, but in the spirit of Tonglen, knowing others out there feel this way from time to time or there are those who know this feeling right now just as I do.  Hello to you and may this feeling for us all and package it up and see us all being free of it, having compassion for you and for all those who feel a bit disoriented or perhaps are also in the midst of a move… whatever it is you are experiencing may we know that we are not alone… there are always many others who also go through this and may we all be relieved of this suffering or uncomfortable feelings such as they are… and may we all come to contentment and peace and may I be part of that process through my love and compassion for us all as we move through uncertain times. May this blog in some way be helpful to you.

Here it is, this feeling I’m sorting out or trying to heal.  And the internal feeling comes from attachment to  STUFF, yeah, form appearances–things.  Actual material things.  I told you this is silliness being sorted out here!  I already feel better really looking at this using some logic and intellect to soothe the …. well, the what?

Beyond what words can show, it is.  How about a picture to describe it?  A bit like the scarecrow from the story ‘The Wizard of OZ’.   That scene where parts of him were over here and over there and some he didn’t know where!

No, I’m not falling apart but rather I am realizing this whole Buddhist thing about the non-self and yeah, attachment too.  How can part of me be in a storage unit (we took a lot of boxes and things, forms) and loaded them in the vehicles and unloaded them into a storage unit.  As I tried to fall asleep last night I kept flashing on the dark rainy rows of storage structures and the number on my own with the lock and my things inside.  Yeah, it felt like parts of me were there, haunting my ‘things’ in some way.

Another part of me was hanging around my sister’s apartment, haven spend some hours at her place over the weekend helping her clean and pack.  Yet still, another aspect of consciousness was hanging around the new apartment that we’re going to that is getting updated appliances, new carpet, paint and so forth–do I really belong there?  Where is my place when I also see flashes of the last few things leaving this apartment unit.  I’m all over the place!  Like I said, silliness in the life of a psychic.

I’m feeling a wee little bit like crying (its mild), but have no real down-home authentic reason but for the fact that I’m feeling homeless and even without a self, more like a floating spirit neither here, nor there, everywhere and nowhere.  And the Buddhist teachings speak of emptiness in view of it holding form and formlessness such that everything is actually non-real as if it were a Moon’s reflection in the water.

I think again of that song of enlightenment, “All these form, appearance emptiness; like a rainbow with a shining glow…”

And one of the other lines is “Just let go, and go where no-mind goes.”  

Taffy pullI guess I’m having to do that a bit as I feel pulled in many directions like taffy.  Pulled, stretched, thinning out…. and definitely no place to ground.  The lessons of impermanence and non-self and forms being emptiness by appearing just the same… these are all being re-enforced within me.

At the same time, it feels like my solar plexus is torn a bit.  Here I am looking at an application, another one, for an apartment that I applied for on April 2nd and last week I found out my application was nowhere to be found.  I now have to fill out a new one!

Meanwhile, I am trying to visualize how I will fit all my necessary “stuff” into the master bedroom of the apartment that I’m sharing with my sister and her daughter, a teenager!   I feel grateful to have a place to go.

GRATITUDE:  I CAN DO this, of course I can and am so grateful to have some shelter so that I’m free to go without having to break a lease just as soon as I get a call from one of the many places upon which my name is on the list.

fill out the formAnd so the story goes.  Maybe I feel a bit better for writing it out?  My tummy is still topsey-turvey but I’m telling myself to enjoy the experience such that it is.  I’d better get that application filled out (another form—“all these forms”— and anyway get it resubmitted.  Forms are only emptiness.

 

“…just let go. And go where no-mind goes!”  

Form is nothing but emptiness

Emptiness is nothing but form

Dense Fog, All These Forms, Bodhisattva Practice 18

  FOGSometimes Life Itself is like this photo:  Dense Fog!  And we can’t quite see what’s around the curve of Life and let’s face it, life is curvy.  The guitar dude downstairs neighbor  may agree with that one based on his behavior this morning.  He’s slammed the door  beneath me four times and screamed from the area of the parking lot, “You’re f____ing kidding me!!”  All on an otherwise very quiet Sunday morning!  Chances are he’d agree that life is curvy right now! LOL

Cha- cha- cha- chaaa-changes!!  As for me, it’s a little bit foggy but I did see our new apartment yesterday, being able to look upstairs at what will be my monastic cell.  Could be worse.  Not sure how this is all going to go since now the move date is in question, at least my own half of it.  I may be looking at boxes for a month longer than I originally thought since the only girl left in the office (the other two quit) can’t get an answer from the big boss regarding my particular apartment’s lease.  Geesh!

I’m looking hither, thither and yon trying to determine how the furniture is going to be in my room and have fingers, toes, and everything crossed that they can get the horrid smell out of the place before we get in.  Previous tenants had some real issues!  Yuck.

Yeah, foggy.  I don’t know how long I’ll have to be there before another place opens and with each box I pack, I wonder if its contents should go to storage or the garage sale/Goodwill pile.  Ahh, but it could be so much worse indeed!  At least there is someplace to go besides the street with a shopping cart!  Actually, I’m sort of getting ‘into’ the fog lately finding the humor in it while I sing the Buddhist song about form, appearance and emptiness!  That’s a song of enlightenment and always calms me and soothes me and restores happiness [lyrics below].

Meanwhile, I know the sun will shine again and all will be temporarily organized again even though there’s chaos now.  Then we have the next move after this one to who knows where for certain;  although I have a pretty good idea (being psychic and all).

Empty forms like a rainbow with a shining glow!  —  I try to hum this tune as I load the boxes.

Better go feeD my daughter’s cats now!  Today’s my last day of cat duty–that drive down the Interstate is way too exciting for my taste but shouldn’t be bad today being that it’s Sunday.  Good excuse to get away from the wailing guitar guys anger as he gives me opportunities to practice patience over and over as he slams the door yet again!  Wow, bad morning dude?  

The wall shakes when the door slams…   more Bodhisattva practice for me!!  thanks dude! 

Oh yeah, the Buddhist song…. the words….

It goes like this:

All these forms, appearance emptiness

Like a rainbow with it’s shining glow

In the reaches of of appearance emptiness

Just let go and go where no mind goes

Every sound is sound and emptiness

Like the sound of an echo’s roll

In the reaches of sound and emptiness

Just let go and go where no mind goes

Every feeling is bliss and emptiness

Way beyond what words can show

In the reaches of bliss and emptiness

Just let go and go where no mind goes

All awareness, awareness emptiness

Way beyond what thoughts can know

In the reaches of awareness emptiness

Let awareness go, OH, where no mind goes!

Bodhisattva Practice #18 on Discouragement and Compassion  (from the 37 practices of a Bodhisattva):  “… without discouragement take on the misdeeds and pain of all living beings.”

Tonglen!

What do you need to survive? Venus in Pisces conjunct Neptune–the need for water

WATER FROM WELLSome say life is a constant struggle to better our chances for survival. That its a law just like birth and death. I’m not sure I’d use the word struggle but I do see some truth in that.

I’ve seen people who have so much want more; and in some ways (it’s all relative, I suppose) that’s me too. I think the word survival may be defined differently by each person.  What do we need to survive?

Our water went out last night and everybody in town is having to boil water today. There’s a survival need if there was one–sort of like that book,  CYBER STORM, that is going to be a movie.  In that scenario there was snow to melt.

Two ladies at the pool today said that they also had a boil water warning but not from the water main break.  Rather it was because someone stole the computer that regulated the pressure and water levels in the well that a number of people rely on.

What’s with the water situation lately?  Venus moved into Pisces a few days ago; shall we point the finger there?  Pisces, after all, is a water sign and Venus is getting pretty cozy (within 3 degrees of orb) with Neptune, the ruler of Pisces itself.  Venus, it is said, regulates recognition of our personal needs and desires.  Who said?  my astrology teacher.  Anyway…

To survive:  to persist, to succeed, to outlive an event, to go on and to outlive the problem or issue at hand.  What’s the problem or issue at hand?  Life Itself?  Is Life a problem to survive?

How do we better our chances of survival? (or better our chances to flourish)?   I think that’s what motivates many people each day.  What do you think?

Most people want to flourish and others are happy to survive; and then there are those that define surviving in terms of flourishing.  Just sayen’–or rather asking, as a contemplation, a meditation.

We need water to survive because we depend on it to keep our bodies hydrated. Our bodies are made up of between 50% to 70% of water and amazingly our brains comprise over 80% water. It is therefore obvious that we need to take water to keep our bodies functioning. We can only live several days without it; if lucky, up to 5 days if you’re in good shape–or so they say. 

 

Meredith Grey Quote On Change

change quote

 

“When we say things like ’people don’t change’, it drives scientists crazy because change is literally the only constant in all of science.

 

Energy.  Matter.  It’s always changing.  Morphing.   Merging.   Growing.   Dying. 

 

It’s the way people try NOT to change that’s un-natural.  

 

The way we cling to the way things were instead of letting them be what they are.

 

The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones.

 

The way we insist on believing—despite every scientific indication—that anything in this life in permanent!

 

Change is constant.

 

How we experience change—that’s up to us.

 

It can feel like death or it can feel like a second chance at life.

 

If we open our fingers, loosen our grip, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenalin!  Like at any moment we can have another chance at life.

 

Like at any moment we can be born all over again!” 

–Meredith Grey, Gray’s Anatomy, ABC  

 

PS– my change happens on Saturday; 3 more days!  (see previous posts)

Gaining Perspective in Times of Stress with Contemplation and Meditation – I-CHING Kua 45

The sum is greater than the parts. But boy-O-boy don’t we worry about those parts? I’ve had a bit of elbow pain which started from overuse of the hand/arm during the summer and it’s easy to lose perspective when it rains or gets cold. You know how it goes, we can either focus on the one negative thing or look at the bigger, overall picture which represents the positive. In this example, yes the elbow may hurt and if I focus upon that alone, it will magnify in my experience. Yet, if I see my whole body which contains very good levels of health, the elbow is put in proper perspective—meaning that I can cope with it, not letting it immobilize me! It’s all relative no matter what we’re dealing with; we can allow it to overtake us or we can keep it in perspective. So this elbow example is part of how I’m seeing to interpret the message of Kua 45-Joining today. That I-CHING hexigram message has to do with ‘gathering together’ and relates to the phrase which begins this paragraph, “The sum is greater than the parts”. In what area of your life can you apply this idea today?

Our Life Journey Itself creates certain wear and tear as it demands perseverance through hard times or difficult experiences. Bumps and bruises along the way with sad tears and shadows are all part of the human experience on this 3rd planet from the Sun; but we must keep the ‘sum of the whole’ in mind during those times.

Seeing the unity of our life during the temporary difficult issues or suffering by remembering the good times and the future hopes and expectations will help to widen the picture. And like me with my elbow, put it into proper perspective. This makes it bearable and keeps us from letting life (our thoughts and emotions about it) get out-of-hand.

The Earth Itself is this way too if you think about it. We  may see areas of earth where destruction has taken place—perhaps a forest fire that leaves its scar on Earth Mother’s face, but if we stand back and see the whole of the Earth, we see the undeniable beauty.

This doesn’t mean that we should not put out the forest fire, deal with the issue at hand in practical ways and in the case of my elbow, avoid treating it with a pressure wrap for support, an anti-inflammatory (or Reiki healing). Do what is practical while at the same time view difficulties as simply a part of the whole of life. Keeping the whole in mind is an optimistic measure to embrace while we deal with the part—whatever that part may be.

In my humble experience, meditation helps in being able see the unity, the wholeness, which aids in putting life in a balanced perspective. Water travels for hundreds of miles, sometimes beginning as a tiny stream, disappearing beneath the soil, eventually resurfacing. The process is essentially the same on a human scale. Meditation can tune us into that view of our life as well as the lives of others so that we can gain those perspectives and then we can allow without grasping.

“The real glory of meditation lies not in any method but in its continual living experience of presence, in its bliss, clarity, peace, and most important of all, complete absence of grasping.

When you live in the wisdom home, you’ll no longer find a barrier between “I” and “you,” “this” and “that,” “inside” and “outside;” you’ll have come, finally, to your true home, the state of non-duality.”

— Sogyal Rinpoche

 

Daily Divination 9-16-11 Karma Yoga; Yielding and Willing! Emulate Earth Mother Today! I-CHING KUA 2, The Receptive

Okay, may as well get this one out-of-the-way…” That was my first thought when seeing the image for the I-CHING Kua 2 “The Receptive” and then I wondered who created the images for these cards. Since we have many female nude representations, my guess is that it was a male. Nonetheless, looking past the image for the deeper meaning here, let’s get right to some archetype keywords for today’s cosmic communiqué. Yielding yin; devotion, patient, supportive, “obedient” (are you kidding?), responsive and intuitive, earthy and mother. Is it just me or are you thinking what I’m thinking—wedding vows, love, cherish and OBEY-??!!

Alright, the image denotes EARTH MOTHER, I get it…

I’m going in a different direction here and want to talk about “willingness” as it relates to spirituality. My intuition and inner guidance are kicking in now. Inner Resistance Willingness that means that you have overcome inner resistance to life. What does that mean (I’m asking).

Like this: being genuinely interested in others; friendly—that’s being willing and releasing resistance to life. Someone who is “willing” is not troubled by… well, they don’t “sweat the small stuff” as the saying goes. Like with employment–being willing to take any job when you have to without feeling demeaned by having to start at the bottom.

Being “willing” is being helpful to others, volunteering, contributing. On another note, being willing or yielding also has to do with being willing to face inner issues. Willingness is being sympathetic and responsive to the needs of others without feeling that you are putting yourself down or being a lowly servant—rather responding to life and other folks without ego involvement.

We’re talking about something called “KARMA YOGA” which is a spiritual practice of selfless service to others which is combined with prayer and devotion.

I think of the Buddhist phrase here of doing a practice for “all sentient beings”—in the catholic view it may be called offering one’s own suffering up for the soul’s in the catholic purgatory.

One need not be a Mother Teresa of Calcutta or Mahatma Gandhi or Tibetan Lama today. The message for this day (and any day) has to do with releasing identification of the personality self in favor of the Radiant Self and surrendering the ego to the Greater Self.

Earth Mother (Kwan Yin)

As we do this gentle inner shift toward yielding or willingness, we create a spiritual alignment and raise our spiritual energy.

This activates the right brain chemistry and physiology, altering perceptions and releasing neurotransmitters and endorphins in the brain.

The world, as a result, is seen as friendly and supportive. Heck, a simple smile and friendly hello will do this.

Today’s message is to be yielding and willing enough to do that.

And perhaps see yourself today (even if you are in a male body in this reality) as the Divine Mother today…

 maybe (?) just pretend you just gave birth to the cosmos and nurture everyone today,

being humble and full of grace!  Or at least be willing?

See you tomorrow…