Day #20 Value System Shock and Awe – North Node Taurus and Electric Train Goes Back to the Future

Electric Train
When Life Starts Moving Like An Electric Train!

May there be something here in this writing to somehow help another along their path….

Before we get started catching up from Day #11 to now, let me just say how much I love my work!  It’s intense—this project, this commitment, this change—but when I do a phone reading for someone, it is like drinking cool water from a pure source on a hot day.  O, I’m sure there are better analogies to use—so let me just say it straight.  When I do a reading, it is the highlight of my day and a healing of my energy; it’s great!  And with the recent intensity of my life, the contrast is plainly and acutely pronounced.  Healers know this—when they do a healing for another they are channeling healing energy through them and so they too become healed.   It is the same in my work as a psychic and medium. 

And now to continue from Day #11:  whenever one makes a commitment for change, it will affect others and in my case I had to give that kind of notice or head’s up.  I had no idea how it was going to go.  Would I meet with any rage or resistance or resentment when I told others who would be affected about my commitment to this change?  I held my breath (held my nose) and jumped in and did it.  I had to because the persons I had to tell needed to be involved in the change itself.  I had a moment or two of the heart beating fast and then holding the breath in anticipation until I received the response.  It was surreal actually as much of the last 20 days have been. 

Sometimes I will program ahead for the response I want from another—or I have done so in the past.  You know—visualized it happening the way I wanted it to and then seeing that it did.  That can be a very empowering thing to do by the way!

This time, however, I was more ‘in the moment’.  What I mean is there was a level of confidence beforehand that no matter the response, I will deal with it as it happens moment by moment.  And I did and it went as well as could be expected—well, actually in some cases better than could be expected. 

The feeling was like I’m on this train and it isn’t stopping and so people will have to step aside because the train is coming through—yet, I am not driving the train as much as being a passenger. 

Once those people were told about the change and that was accomplished things really took off… moved much faster… like the train was on one of those electric tracks that goes 110 mph instead of 40 or 50.  It makes me think of how it goes from Washington, DC area to Philadelphia whenever I’d travel there from North Carolina.  Through North Carolina, Virginia and Maryland the train was slow as molasses but once we got near DC, we hooked onto the electric track and flew!  Well, that’s how it’s been… I’ve been flying for the past 9 days! 

And I’ve had help!  People help; family help; physical help and emotional help and so there’s the further evidence for the support for this commitment to change. 

Yet, emotionally or within me there’s been an issue triggered by value systems—mine versus theirs!  Or we could say fringe dweller spiritual and metaphysical values VERSUS big-city, Corporate America impersonal and “it’s all about the money mentality” and besides “you are just a number consciousness”—it’s been (to use their terms/words) just like “shock and awe”.  I won’t go into that too much more because it is just me having to adjust to being in Rome and doing what the Roman’s do—at least externally.  It’s not been pleasant on certain days and there’ve been times that I’ve sat on the floor and cried it out for a few minutes due to the ridiculous irony alternated by other moments on the floor laughing at levels of near-hysteria for the same reason. 

Overwhelmed isn’t a strong enough word to describe certain moments but I’ve got tools and have “been there-done that” enough times emotionally that I know how to use them!  So… it’s okay and I have in my 64 years upon the earth learned a good deal and have developed excellent coping and healing techniques!

So while the past 9 or 10 days have been moving quickly and have been intense mentally, physically and emotionally… the highlights have actually been when I’ve ceased in this project and helped another by doing my work, giving a reading.  It is when I am being my truest and happiest self!  And it’s not that I needed to make this change or commitment to know that—not at all; because I’ve always known that actually. 

In 18 days my life will change and I will be walking into an area that is semi-unknown to me on certain levels.  I have so many projects in mind after that which involve my work as a psychic, medium, astrologer and teacher!  I feel sure my focus will be sharper and I will have more time and energy to devote to those endeavors.

Until then, this update must end.  I know I just typed 18 days but I think of it more in terms of two weeks actually.  I hope lots of people will want a reading over these next two weeks… and that is what I am asking the universe for!

I’ve just got to tell ya’ though, in the meanwhile, that it is so strange watching the events of my life and watching myself go in directions that I said to everyone that I’d never, ever go!  and it’s not the first time this has happened!  Shows to go ya’ or goes to show ya’ that you probably should never say never–especially to The Universe!  Well, if you’ve lived life at all you already know that!

I will update again when there’s another opportune moment to sit down and gather myself and my thoughts.  My North Node Taurus is being triggered by my approaching transiting South Node and while I’m starting this whole “Back to the Future” thing in some ways in my life… it should get even more interesting as the conjunction becomes more or less exact at the end of the year triggering and electrifying the 4th/10th house axis even further!

Hoping that there was something here in this writing to somehow help another along their path….

See you next time…

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Day #10 – Divination Tools Help Ease Uncertainty or Doubt During Times of Change

I totally get to live it now (again!).  I get to apply firsthand all the advice that comes from the higher levels of mind about change, impermanence, transition, letting go/holding on (an interesting dynamic!) and all the rest.  O, not that I haven’t lived it in the past—it’s a refresher is all. 

Anytime we make a decision that is going to obviously out-picture in a major life change, we have moments—call them temporary moments of insanity if you’d like.  I may have had a few of those this week.  I am laughing inside as I reflect on that last line; there’s a part of me that’s still a bit numb and consequently unsure if I’ve been completely sane the entire week.

I think it’s normal as a portion of life unravels and then begins to reassemble due to the necessity of change that moments of “crazy” happen and there again come those old buddies of worry who is crazy’s cousin.  Those buddies are doubt and anger.  What’s there to be angry about you may ask—don’t worry, I’m asking myself the same question. 

Maybe it’s my rebellious Aquarius energy in my 7th house—who knows?  I really have to get over a certain amount of resentment about jumping through other people’s hoops and dealing with “THE almighty RULES”.   Yeah, I’ve always been a fringe dweller, an outsider.  I’m examining that now; that frustration and resentment. 

But I got through the week and with regard to this project, this commitment, this change–the ball is continuing to roll with or without me because things have been set irreversibly into motion.  Last night I had as moment of angst.  Now this is where divination comes in handy!

Maybe it was me just tired from a long week of bumping heads with… let me be kind.  Let’s just say maybe a certain fatigue set it that wasn’t necessarily physical.  Mentally I am living (in my mind) within the new way of being that comes from this change that I’ve chosen (did I really choose it?) and  physically there is chaos in the realm that I’m still disassembling as part of the change. 

Holy chaos!  What am I doing?  Am I doing the right thing?  I keep getting flashes of the transiting lunar nodes about to come to merge with my natal lunar nodes—once I heard an astrology teacher say that this is… well, she said, “The past becomes the future and the future becomes the past.”  I really do feel like something quite similar to that is going on with all of this!

You know how you get that sinking feeling when you are just about to go walk the aisle to say, “I do”-?  Did you ever do that?  Sometime before you take that walk you say to yourself, “Really, do I?  OMG, am I doing the right thing?”  OR maybe you are about to close on that house whether you are selling or buying—there’s a moment that happens when you ask yourself, “Do I REALLY want to do this?” 

And you’re at the point with it where it is way too complicated to change your mind now!  You know, like you just strapped your body in the roller coaster and it begins to move and you really wish you could get off the thing and it’s way too late to turn back now!

Okay, so I had a moment like that last night you see?  Those kinds of moments can be sort of immobilizing—everything freezes and you feel like you have to go put your head on the pillow for a while and consider everything one more time.

If you’re experienced with life—it’s familiar territory.  You just want someone to come down from some heaven somewhere, float down through the walls and tell you that you are doing the right thing.  That didn’t happen exactly, so I grabbed a few divination tools and did ‘my thing’.

It is calming to shuffle those cards or toss those coins—if nothing else, shuffling the cards is a centering activity in itself. 

It was helpful is all that I can say—very helpful—calming, reassuring, peace-provoking and enabled me to breathe easy once more. 

I’d say the whole affair took maybe a half hour and I was back on course again emotionally.  I was still physically tired but got a lot of good rest last night and today I’m ready to go back at it again.  And the chaos of change I must make peace with until the 30 days is over.  Around this same time next month, I should have totally different view of life; stay tuned.  But my greater point is that divination tools, used properly and with confidence in the tool itself, can be so helpful in the heat of the moment when guidance and an elevated, unbiased view is needed.

It’s worth learning about tarot cards or runes or i-ching and to take a psychic development class before you consider a major change; they can help you.  As a matter of fact, now that we are thinking of it, I’ve noticed that many people who take the class are also planning something huge in their life at the same time—some life changing event like a job/career change or divorce or a relocation.

I’ll post again when there’s time.