Flashbacks and Indians are Moving (Yay)

looking out windowFLASHBACKS… no, never did LSD, so that’s not this.

But while just sitting upon my bed looking out the window a little bit ago… a familiar feeling came.  I was sick a lot around the ages of 6 to 8 years old,  as I recall.  Mumps once and maybe either chicken pox or measles (I’m pretty sure measles but maybe both) because I remember the rash and all the adults getting excited and missing weeks of school.  I had my tonsils out too; but mostly I remember looking longingly out the window and wanting to go outside just like I did when I awoke this morning to the uncouth Indian voices  —that last part being normal fare around here.

There’s a nice breeze today, its 60 degrees and I’d love to go out for a hike in the woods—to visit the Lady of the Lake.  But the adult in me knows better, says no like my mother did back when I had the mumps and measles and I am left with that familiar feeling not knowing what to do with it but blog it.

It has been many-a-moon (in fact many years of moons) that I’ve been this congested.   I woke this morning, as I have many mornings after their Indian hookah (or whatever)  parties, with a migraine.  Yeah, I just put the 2 + 2 together on that one!  Same deal last weekend and the one before—open eyes and head pounds.  The smell of whatever they put in their pipes is nauseatingly disgusting and finds its way up through the floor and walls. Even though I’ve shut and covered the heating vents, when they put on their central air unit, it pumps the smelly residue right on up here.  And it wakes me in the night.  After today, only 44 more days of this; they move out on the 31st of December.  Happy New Year! Yay!

Oh, by the way,  I can’t prove they smoke hookah but the maintenance guys say most all of them do and I’ve smelled actual … well, you know that, “OMG what the heck is that burning?” , but I think after a while they changed it up a bit to something different.  Maybe this would be hard for you to believe, but REALLY, I’ve better things to do then speculate about it, although blogging about it generally does help release some levels of frustration.

My lungs and sinuses are not real happy, nor is my head right now.  They know I’m sick up here in the apartment above them—they must hear me coughing throughout the night just as I hear their coughing!  Despite that, they had a loud and in my opinion grossly bad-mannered boisterous party last night.  Just lovely! They know I’d hear every word and yelp above them!

Me as a little girl
Me, as a child around the time of mumps and measles

My family has been dropping off food and medicine—because going out into the marketplace with one of my coughing jags wouldn’t be pretty, not that I couldn’t do it—but it’d be embarrassing is all.  Yesterday, finally liquid Nyquil and a vaporizer came through the door and I was just about to finally sleep (something for the previous two nights I’d not been able to do due to coughing) and just as the cough calmed, they started with the hookah and loud voices and hyena laughter—the female Indian is really good at that!  You know that there are such things as pig calling contests, right?  Well, if they had hyena laughter impression contests, she’d be the world champion!

The laughter and talking is highly nervous and hyper sounding—that’s the hookah hyena laugh and you want to talk about speed?  They already talk a mile-a-minute as is, but on hookah (or whatever stimulant they obviously use), well, it’s hard to describe.  And I don’t want to talk about it.

So anyway,  I am too sick to go out and play and mostly too sick to work too although yesterday—bless her heart!—I had a very patient astrology client put up with my hacking cough and my loss of voice for an hour session. Thank you Janie!

I had to cancel and reschedule the other  session that I’d planned to do yesterday; I really don’t like having to bump clients into the next week but I’ve got to get over this cold or clearing or whatever we want to call it.  It started last weekend when I spoke to the Hyena impersonator about the smell of garlic (so strong I could taste it in my mouth) – I got a few things off my chest at that time  although we’re talking about a conversation that lasted less than 2 minutes.

I knocked on their door with my apartment reeking of garlic and with the taste of it in my mouth—anyway, the very next day I started with a sore throat.

Their cooking smells, second hand hookah stink (if that nauseating smell is what I think it is) and germs make their way up to me way too easily—a compliment to the architect and builder of this complex!  May he have a long and happy laugh—which is sarcasm! 

The hyena Mumbai lady and her equally obnoxious partner (the pants-on-fire dude; see previous posts) are letting it rip today; shouting at the top of their lungs and minds—are they trying to goat me into coming down for another confrontation?  Sorry, too sick—don’t have the energy.  Besides, I approached them both once –no actually 3 times now and got nowhere—it’s like talking to a wall.

I want to go out of this apartment today—get out of here; but to escape where?  I don’t trust myself to drive being under Nyquil’s influence and I don’t want to make my family sick.  I joke with my grandson who is the one sent to the door with meds or food.  Not wanting him to get sick I will say to him:  “okay, son, set the bag down, put your hands in the air, then cover your mouth and back away slowly.”   Nobody in our family is sick–just me and the Mumbai’s.

One benefit to being here near my family versus being alone in the mountains is that my family helps me out at times like these.  I love my family.

There’s no doubt in my mind that my downstairs neighbors are being more obviously and purposefully vocal since they were told that their lease is not being renewed—apparently it was that.  At first, I thought it was their choice to move.  Apparently not,  or they wouldn’t be acting out the way that they currently are this past week!  The female right now as I type this is singing loud at the top of her lungs,  while she grinds up something in the blender—I suspect tobacco.  They’ve been loud and ugly plenty before,  but its all been escalating since last week.

I am going to do more writing more today  — no, not about this.  I’m going to utilize a blog topic that I’ve had in mind and convert it into a newsletter which is only 4 days late now!  Best get at it.  Maybe a movie later, I don’t know.

I’m stuck inside just like when I was a little girl – oh, and idea:  maybe I can download a good book on kindle later.  I’m very good at holding concentration now with music on and sleeping soundly with music on.  I’ve learned to tune my mind to IT in avoidance of their hyena yelps and ‘faster-than-a-speeding-bullet’ talking.

I just want to add that I totally don’t buy it!  You know?  I mean the argument about “It’s our culture to be loud, obnoxious and cook stinky food and not care about anybody else”.  Nope.  Don’t buy it.  Why? Because IN FACT they are NOT in their culture anymore—if they want to be, then why not return to India?  No excuse in my book!  Their right to act out and create stinks ends with my right to have reasonable quiet living environment and to breathe clean air. I wonder if a lawyer would have any kind of case in this situation?  Anyway…

I think the world map of astrology well, on a geodetic map… if I recall India is aligned with Leo which would account for the self-centeredness of my Indian neighbors.  I could be wrong about the Geocentric map Leo part—that’s not my forte’ astrologically but as for the rest, I stand behind it.  Only someone who lived in my apartment and walked my shoes knows what a year it’s been!  But the end is near! 44 more days.  Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. 

Don’t we all want our mother to protect us and to fight our battles and take care of us—especially when we don’t feel well?  My own mother was not particularly nurturing,  but I do still call out for my mother on days like these–even if the response isn’t forthcoming, I think it’s human nature too want that nurturing and protection at times.

There is Divine Mother or Goddess or Kwan Yin or Tara that represent that same energy.  Sometime children act out (just as my Indian neighbors are) because they want their mothers attention or nurturing.  Today, I will try harder to be patient with my boisterous Indian neighbors by imagining their noise being their cry for their own mother.  I thought at first that they chose to leave this apartment and rent another either here or elsewhere but judging from the recent escalation of their voices and parties etc., it may not have been their choice at all.

I wonder if a lawyer would have a case to make about the air exchange in this place.  None of my family is sick but down below me they are coughing and hacking like myself — it was the same way last year but I don’t recall the cough and cold being this severe.  Likely they are blaming me as I am blaming them for the germ exchange when really if fingers are pointed in this case, it should be toward the apartment complex itself.

I am not interested in that–only that they are moving! And for that,  I am most grateful.  Funny.  I went in the very day they made arrangements to move to ask how i could possibly get out of this lease–do i have any options I said?  And the rental girl said, they came in this morning and finalized their lease, they’re moving.  There was someone in her office and I could tell she didn’t want to discuss it further.  So…

Will it be to another apartment here in this complex? or elsewhere?  I don’t care as long as they are no longer under my feet!  amen!  and thank you Divine Mother!

And now my coffee has gone cold and my throat seem to be calling for something warm to soothe it so I bring us to end to end of this chapter.

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Humor helps in dealing with stresses

airplane taxiHumor helps in dealing with stresses

Funny how certain things in life we simply don’t seem to hear, isn’t it?  I used to live on a fairly busy highway.  Even though people suggested to me before I moved-in that the sound of the traffic would be noisy or busy or a bother, I didn’t care.  I liked the house and actually enjoyed the moving traffic passing by.   Yet, if I hear a chain saw or anything that sounds like it or a human voice–it’s a totally different story.  It just is.  I’d rather hear a pack of dogs bark all night long that this loud Indian couple bantering and fussing for hours on end!  No really—they talk and talk and talk and then talk some more, non-stop hour after hour and on and on.  How about reading a book or SOMETHING? Anything!  (My current working theory is that it was a forced marriage and they are still hashing out whose fault it is–its just that the mind really wonders what they could go on about for so long and with such ….. well, lets leave it at that.)

I’m employing all types of tools and methods to deal with the stresses of certain sounds and noises these days.  Take for instance the other night.  Humor works and sometimes I can “crack myself up” as the saying goes!

The downstairs neighbors (a loud mouthed couple from India–pardon how I said that but it’s true) were getting louder as I was about to get into bed.  Great!  Here we go again!  My tried-and-true method to muffle into silence their Mumbai-mumbling-mouths involves turning up the fan on the central air unit, then putting the floor fan on high, AND the air purifier too for the benefit of THAT white noise as well.  All that, as sometimes happens, didn’t do it! I could still hear their very loud voices.   The task of drowning out the sound of their mouths completely was going to require the calling forth of the duty of the dishwasher!

Once it’s all going at the same time, the place is really rocking with white noise.   In fact, so much so that my apartment sounds like a jet engine!  Rolling off on that thought, as I kicked off my slippers, turned back the covers on my bed, switched off the light announcing, “Ladies and gentleman this is your captain speaking, welcome to cosmic airlines, we’ve been cleared for take off,  please fasten your seat belts, and enjoy your flight…”  I felt asleep laughing.  Humor helps dealing with stress.

(So does the fact that their VISA will run out soon and they will have to go back to India!  Hasta la vista baby!  Can’t happen too soon for me!  Meanwhile… humor!)  I know it’s NASCAR country here too and that Jimmy Johnson just won the Daytona 500, but I’ve developed a huge dis-taste for Lowe’s (employer of the Indians in this town).  I am personally boycotting Lowe’s as a way to make myself feel better about the noise, not that I really ever shopped there anyway…but still.  Opps… suddenly seem to have lost my sense of humor again! LOL  Change!  Grrrrrrrrr!!  Or as my Buddhist friend has said, “Om Dammit OM!”  (This blog is another tool in dealing with my stress as well.  And yeah, yeah, I know it’s all illusion or mental projection or just life as it is in the big city.  Still, I also know that a girl’s gotta’ do what a girl’s gotta’ do!)

PS — if some big exec at Lowe’s Headquarters reads my blog   and wants to buy me out of my lease, you can contact me through my website. What are the chances?  ha ha

Paranoia or Psychic Perception – Maybe Both

Contemplation Image
Contemplation

Paranoia or Psychic Perception – Maybe Both.  Here’s the contemplation…

Alright, I’ll admit.  Today wants to end on a sour note, but I won’t let it!  All was going well until late in the day, my granddaughter came home from school in a snit (she’s only 9 after all, has a head-cold and should probably be given benefit of the doubt) followed momentarily by the downstairs  couple who forgot they weren’t out in the middle of the field in India as they came in from work.  Indoor voices people!  Geesh!  And while reading this stuff might be having the superior, significantly-spiritual type clucking the tongue away and shaking their head, maybe even with a sly smile on their face—let’s not rush to judgment about these things.

Is it my paranoia or true psychic perceptions that cringe when realizing some folks have taken that smile that starts to form at the side of their mouth when they hear these challenges that the mountain yogi me dealing with this daily distraction stuff!  Ha! One person said, “Easy to do it when you’re up in the mountains in seclusion but not so easy NOW, is it?” As if I’m now experiencing life for the very first time!

Wasn’t born yesterday my friends and I’ve been there, done that—after all, I raised three teen-age daughters on my own.

I come back into it now, however, realizing exactly what it all is—as before—but on much deeper levels.  Now I see it as mind being irritated, mind being restless, mind being frustrated (no me) and what a view of it all I have!  Can’t get this kind of stuff in a monastery you know!

For it’s the mind that is irritated—not me!  And I’d have not come this far without my granddaughter and the noisy couple from India.  Never would I have had this kind of ‘in your face’ stuff at these levels and in the perfect timing for me to reach these understandings with it all.  Beautiful actually—just beautiful.

All kinds of things happen—the just do.  Do I necessarily cause them to happen?  Life.  It just happens.  We choose our reaction—the Buddha taught all that jazz.

Oh, I can hear the spiritually significant tongue-clucker now—influenced by all the new age book mumbo-jumbo.  “You attracted your circumstances; it’s your karma!”  Well, partially true if we consider our desire to evolve perhaps; but even if we don’t.  Life unfolds as a matter of circumstances that we simply are privy to witness and we can only change our attitude about it.  (Unless we want to be arrested for assault and battery—a bit of humor.)

What matters is the attitude and not the events—the world is full of desires and fears and pain and suffering and people generally reacting to it all the time.  Today, my granddaughter and more times in the past few months than I can count, my downstairs neighbors are perfect examples.

And me too.  My desire is for quiet and like the Rolling Stones as well as the Buddha have said, “Can’t get no — satisfaction.”  Not from the outer world.

So where is it—it is beyond the world, even beyond the inner world—beyond mind.

Oh, you could say I’ve gone out of my mind and you’d be totally correct on some levels.  I’ve realized that place that is beyond mind and all from humans pushing me there in so many ways so-to-speak.

me comicI’ve also gotten hold of memory—the meaning.  We mistake that we are this group of memories that we have created an ego structure out of.  I’ve given this a good deal of thought since the Indians below me triggered a number of childhood memories and stimulated a fair number of unpleasant dreams, a few out-and-out nightmares.  This causes one to question the nature of memory and dreams; but mostly memory in this case since hold a few and identify ourselves thus creating structure out of those aspects of mind and then say, “This is me; who I am”.

If our memories were our true identity then you’d think we’d remember more than we do—such as what you had for dinner last week or what you did on the 4th of last June.  Unless something memorable, you don’t remember.  What IS memorable, we structure an identity out it and call it “me”.  It’s okay for getting by here but we have to remember it is illusion—and the ego’s reading this are screaming in your heads, “Not me!  I AM REAL.”  That’s okay; I wasn’t always ready for this understanding either.

Maybe it’s all about me getting ready for the inevitable event that we all face someday—death.  It’s going to be easier to let go of this identity structure if we’ve realized all along it wasn’t real in the first place.

Here’s something C said in reply to a question about wanting to live, “To live, to die—what meaningless words are these!  When you see me alive, I’m dead.  When you see me dead, I’m alive.  How muddied up you are!” 

Enough about death—before I loose subscribers!  People don’t like this subject.  About memory, I like this quote:  Use memory, don’t let memory use you!  I should put that one on Facebook.  Anyway, family stuff being triggered is all for the purpose of realizing its memory that I’m overly identified with—it’s all been very good spiritual fodder or grist for the mill as the saying goes.  We need that grist to keep ourselves in true awareness—so tongue-cluckers who think you’ve got it made in the shade because you’ve read all the books and had a few evolutionary experiences and intellectually think you’ve GOT  IT, maybe not so much or there’s always deeper layers and this has been a good one, still is.

The bottom line is we do not need to be set free—we already are.   It is our identification with our body and the structure we created from memory that we over-identify as “me” and our desires that keep us going round and round again, lifetime-to-lifetime, which keeps us from the clarity that we were never born and never die.

All I can say to spiritually significant elite-ist tongue-cluckers is that understanding this intellectually is one thing and living it in the face of human intensity and applying it—well, how deep down the rabbit hole do we go?  With each intense experience, I have deeper realizations that do not come from a book but from my own experience, my own mind but not even there… from a place where I am totally out of my mind.  Hard to describe unless you’ve been there, done that.

I’m grateful when I can be in the right place with it all and when not, I realize I will be—eventually, all in good time.  Patience and perseverance, virtues!

By the way, I am celebrating walking normally this week!  I can wear a regular shoe and barely limp at all; as the illusionary body heals and repairs my broken foot illusion here!  Have a great week dear friends of Light!

(Excuse me now while i light illusionary candles to absorb the illusionary cooking smells from the illusionary neighbors!  laughing as I go… one more desire released… no longer desire to visit India!  See, everything has a great purpose!  ha ha)

Dealing with Neighbor Karma – Mindrolling Rinpoche Helps with Loud Indian Neighbors

 WARNING: this is a vent; read at your own risk.  Awakening at 3:30 AM

So anyway. Okay. That’s probably IT. Neighbor karma! And they say if you don’t fight against the karmic consequences; that is if you accept without resistance, this releases the karma.

Are they butchering their own meat for dinner with a chain saw? Or grinding up ice cubes in a blender to make frozen margaritas to get drunk on? Or shoving what they can shove down the electric garbage disposal? You have to love the way they yell right over the top of the noise—even when the grinding sound isn’t happening and they are within two feet of one another—yelling at the top of their lungs! What’s that about, huh? Say, What!?!!?? If you are Indian (from the country of India – not to be confused with Native Americans), please ask yourself why you scream at the top of your lungs when it isn’t necessary?

Mindrolling Monastery in Dehra Dun North India
Mindrolling Monastery in Dehra Dun North India

Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it? This ain’t no monastery and (that’s not all!). Besides that…

I can’t get no… I can’t get no…. I can’t get no… SATISFACTION! (Rolling Stones)

Remember back in the mountains when the new neighbor massacred an acre of perfectly healthy and happy trees displacing numerous trees and deer and birds, et al –? (I’m talking to long time followers of my blog.) There was a disturbance in the force – a horrid ripping up of the pre-peaceful energy field – it felt terrible. Awoke to that same feeling at 3:19 AM! Voices shouting—a woman’s voice! NO, don’t tell me they’re at each other again downstairs.

Lovely! The young people in the next building were on their patio whooping, hooting and hollering to the silence of the night. Humans around here are just blowing off steam, releasing their stresses is the guess. Why oh why does this particular kingdom of beings (human kingdom) who have the most advanced brain potential on the planet act like dogs? No, dogs are much more intelligent; they bark for a reason; at least most of the time. Unfortunately, this same level of intelligence is not able to be attributed (at least by me) to the downstairs Indian neighbors and the young “drunk-at-3:30 AM-hooting-into-the-trees-neighbors”  who live in the next building a mere 30 feet from the one we’re in. Watch out!  There’s competition for  the human idiot of the weekend prize around here—the Indian couple below me now has competition.

Come to think of it, I’ve always had neighbor issues (karma?) even back into my late teenage years. The man in the house next door used to stand on is porch (only feet from bedroom window) and call his little black dog named “sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooH-TEEeeeeeeee”, correctly spelled “sooty” until I wanted to pull my hair out! Then years later there was the neighbor who would send her son to my house to play soon as she got home from work so she could entertain her latest boyfriend. And then we had the old couple who… well, never mind. Yeah, neighbor karma.

Maybe they (downstairs Indian couple)  got some message yesterday—who knows? Loud Indian People, I’ll say it again–Loud Indian People!   Well, let’s start with Friday night; they always come back from Monsters, Inc. (Lowe’s Headquarters) on Friday nights really geeked up and louder than any of the other days of the week. I was into my writing when they blasted in downstairs, their voices escalating as the night wore on. I tried to be tolerant—obviously another bad day or week for them and they’re fighting about it again. I put my headset on and piped into my ears via my headset the meditation and relaxation music that I’d spent hours ripping off CD’s last week. I was prepared!

Go ahead freakazoid Indian peeps! I’m prepared. Can you believe that over certain music –which I had playing full blast as loud as it the volume will go—that I could still hear them at certain times?

I was writing the lesson on astrological elements and modalities—earth, air, water, fire and cardinal, fixed and mutable signs. The lesson I was writing was a bit complicated to explain so to keep my focus, keep myself sane and to keep my sense of humor, when they’d yell out below me, I’d yell back that the male part of the couple has won the biggest mouth of the week award and I congratulated him duly and properly in my own language to match their voice volume (loud) while they barely took a breath, not listening to a word! Not that they could hear a thing over their non-stop vocal drama. She would wail out in a long vocal diatribe on occasion and at the same volume, I’d hoot and holler back in response that unfortunately, try as she might, she wasn’t nearly as obnoxious as her male counterpart although at times it was rather close. Then I’d wish her better luck for next week and go back to my typing certain they did not hear a word over their own vocalizations. Did you ever hear pig calling? No. Really. It’s a sport in certain parts of the American’s—they have pig calling contests. I really think this Indian couple should enter; they’d win@! — hey, don’t judge me; this blog and that are my ways of DEALING. 

I can’t imagine what the heck they’re grinding down there but from the shouting, it’s getting pretty exciting for them right now.

Mindrolling Jetsun Rinposhe
Mindrolling Jetsun Rinposhe

Yesterday morning I played an hour of Her Eminence Mindrolling Jetsün Khandro Rinpoche for their listening pleasure (and mine). She may have (who can know for sure?) out talked them putting them into a more quiet trance for the rest of the day. Who knows really since I made it a point to be out most of the day with the family—it was my grandson’s birthday. But before I left, their voices were subdued. Thank you Rinpoche!

There’s the Mindrolling Monastery in India. Do theses Monkey Mumbai’s (as I lovingly call them) know about it I wonder? It’s located in the foothills of the Himalayas in Dehra Dun in North India. Well, if they can calm down downstairs, I’d like to contemplate further the Yanas! The first step to this is to accept my neighbor karma with love, compassion, toleration and did I say acceptance, yeah, several times now.

May I accept what I cannot change! I am no longer in the peaceful serene mountains. I am not in living in a monastery. I am in the middle of slumdogs, making the best of it, accepting my karma, learning toleration, but to love this is a bit of a stretch; I’m tolerating until I get to go home. Let there be peace on Earth (the kind that doesn’t come from alcoholic overdose or scream fighting with others until exhausted – the real kind).

Well, the grinding stopped downstairs, so maybe I can get some work done now. Yeah, it’s Sunday but parts of me don’t know that—an old throwback habit from my peaceful, serene days in the mountains. Many times I did not know what day or time it was.

Oh, to finish on a positive note—the celebration of my grandson’s birthday was such a contrast! We had a lovely dinner together at Olive Garden Restaurant (his choice) and came back to a little party at home wherein we played a few rounds of Catch Phrase, and then his mother read to him a list of memories about him that we all submitted to her beforehand at her request. His task was to guess whose memory it was. Then we each read 15 things we love about him (since it was his 15th birthday, 15 attributes or virtues, etc.). Again we had these prepared ahead of time to read. It was very beautiful actually.

His aunts gave him a savings account in their name that they opened for him and a booklet of the account and deposit slips – the account being for saving for his first car. We supported this with our own monetary gifts and he received a few video games and his mother’s big gift to encourage his music and this he was so thrilled with it—a violin! We all then enjoyed a totally awesome ice cream cake which was especially good since we’ve all been dieting. A warm, beautiful family evening!

Later I came home to bathe, sleep and be awakened at 3:30 AM to the party of drunks hooting at the trees on the balcony next door. Such is life, the acceptance of my neighbor karma, and now we’ve come full circle.

Judging from the voices below, I feel another teaching from Her Eminence Mindrolling Jetsün Khandro Rinpoche in my immediate future!

PS—why do people SLAM cupboard doors? Answer?: because they can (I suppose?) Accepting my neighbor karma—trying to send love; help me Buddha!

….and as I end this diatribe they are screaming at each other below me. Meditate? Ha! Perhaps a charnel ground meditation for me today? Chad– Perhaps and if  I must.

Merge, Harmonize or Maintain Separation? Living with Mumbai Neighbors in the USA!

MUMBAI
Mumbai!!

Maybe it is a matter of merging and harmonizing—and not being/feeling/trying so hard to be separate.  Maybe that’s the lesson from Lord and Lady Mouth of Mumbai!  Okay, so I am being sarcastic and cynical and I shouldn’t call them that.  You may want to cut me a break with that since I’ve been up until after 1 AM listening to their gyrations, door slamming and loud-mouthing!  Yeah, I make myself stay up until they quiet down because IF NOT I have horrible dreams from their fighting and door slamming.  Yeah, talk to the management?  I have, they say call the police or slam the wall or stomp my feet and they will get the message.

It is about merging and harmonizing instead of fighting it!  And them!  And myself!  At least I think that’s the approach.  After all, what I’ve seen of India—aside from the ashram of the late Sathya Sai Baba—and PBS documentaries showing crowded streets and dog-eat-dog chaos amounts to a sum total of that and the movie,  Slumdog Millionaire!  Their way of life is probably 1,000 different than my own—they are obviously used to merging with others more than I am.  With a population like that I’d suppose you’d have to know how –and I’d not be able to survive in India the way I’m not able to even merge or harmonize with my downstairs neighbors!

Many of us get this concept of India that everyone there is like Deepak Chopra or are meditation masters.  I cannot tell you how many people from India that I’ve met who say they don’t even know how to meditate—so they’re just like Americans in that sense.  I can’t lump the whole culture; that’s not fair and of course I’m blogging while sleep deprived here on top of being frustrated with the paper-thin walls here while now knowing that I’m hugely overpaying in rent for such a shoddily and cheaply constructed structure.  But there it is—fact.  It is what it is.

Some light here involves my soon to be married daughter who lives in suburbia in a beautiful community of condo—it’s gorgeous!  In the summer time their pool is supervised and the last 10 minutes of every hour of the day they clear the kids from the pool so that adults can do lap swimming.  YES!!!!  She mentioned that when they buy their house in another year that they would … well, she’s going to talk it over with her soon to be husband, but she indicated that it’s possible that they could rent their condo to me!!  I do miss the mountains and planned to go back – something more deeply affirmed within my since the super-mouths of Mumbia moved in below me.  (If you’ve not been paying attention to my blog, they have earned that well-deserved name with me due to their 24-7 marathon dialogues interspersed with sudden fights that spring up just when you suspect they’ve finally fallen asleep throughout the wee early mornings!)  They don’t leave for Monster’s Inc. (Lowes Headquarters) until around 9:30 AM but I’m up by 6 AM to welcome my granddaughter in while we wait together for the time for her school bus—her mother has a long drive to work and has to leave early.

Oh, why not put on a fan for white noise?  Yeah?  I hear them over the sound of the fan and if I fall asleep before they do (their fighting and loud voices beneath my bed can still be heard anyway), the result for is crazy, horrible dreams—nightmares.  Bad dreams were coming every night (not typical for me AT ALL) until I woke straight up out of one and heard them fighting beneath me….duhh, no wonder!   Honestly, these folks go on-and-on-and-on-and-on and never give it a rest!  I’ve never heard anything like it and really if there was an award given for people who talk, bicker and fight non-stop—they’d be the clear winners!

I was feeling the FLIGHT OR FIGHT feeling in my bed while reading my spiritual book—that’s when they first moved in you see and I didn’t realize that there were new neighbors.  Suddenly in the midst of my reading i feel that whole ‘fight or flight’ panic in my body.  Really? where’s that coming from?  I put my book down to go within to figure it out when i realize that i think i hear a voice, man’s voice.  No I think, I must be imagining it.  My fan is on, vibrating, making white noise.  I go back to my book.  Again, louder, voices…. still feeling my heart race and sort of panic feeling.  What is going on here?  so am I crazy?  I get up to turn off the fan to find out and yeah!  Its Lord and Lady Mumbi –the downstairs neighbors–going on and on yelling to each other beneath my bed!

Okay anyway, i’ve got one idea–it could help.  I am going to get some inexpensive door mirrors at Wal Mart and put them mirror side down beneath my bed hoping that whatever energy comes up will be forced back down via the mirrors!   I’ll let you know how it works.  It won’t muffle sound but may direct energy back down so i don’t feel it in my body.  In this instance of the Mumbai neighbors, the fact that I’m a sensitive, a psychic, is more a hindrance than a help.

Enough kvetching!  The only thing I can do is try to harmonize instead of insisting that I maintain separation.  I want to say this is MY sacred space and your voices and door slamming sounds are NOT ALLOWED—GET OUT@!!  But, how realistic is that with these paper thin walls?  Their voices just carry—they’re the opposite of ‘soft talkers’.  I suspect one or both may be partially deaf –this I try to believe to evoke compassion for them which at 1 AM is really difficult, but I do try!

Anyway, one coping mechanism is to run the dishwasher through a few cycles; that muffles Mumbai for about an hour and a half.  I put my TV onto the Buddhist channel the rest of the time in an effort to change the vibe –but really in the evenings my habit is to meditate or read; usually both.  How long can I listen to the Dalai Lama’s translators or the sound of my own dishwasher before that gets old too?  Well, there’s always old re-runs of Grey’s Anatomy or a Harry Potter DVD, but the point is that’s all me still trying to separate instead of merging and harmonizing.

Anyway, that’s my thought for today—it has to do with my observation that I am trying to separate myself from humanity and humanity is right underneath my feet letting me know it’s not going anywhere!  Nice!  And they say the universe has no sense of humor!

Part of this is not their fault!  The shouting and slamming doors—yeah, I’m going to have to talk to them about that stuff that goes on after 10:00 PM; there’s no need for THAT!  The other part of it is just them being them—humans!  Humans’ way too close to my turf!  Boy O boy do I miss the old tenant … a single guy who just played his TV … a movie every now and then.  No problem; I’d go into the bedroom, turn on my fan and read my book.  Sure.  I’d hear him on the phone now and again but ‘what the heck’, a person has to talk once in a while.  But these folks—OMG!  It’s like a 24 hour phone call–!!

The weekend is upon us—and really I’d like to work more on writing my astrology class but why bang my head against the wall?  It’s impossible to think straight with the motor-mouths of Mumbai going at it all day long!  So, I’ll be coming up with a plan B today; maybe I can take my whole act over to my daughter’s house—she’s 5 doors down and hardly ever hears her neighbors.

Well, they don’t leave for Monster’s Inc for another 45 minutes.  I’ve been totally killing time here waiting for them to leave for their jobs.  I may go back to bed for a while which I really don’t like doing b but you won’t find THIS hard to believe—I’ve got a sore throat and head cold since yesterday afternoon.  Yeah, figures.

See that photo of Mumbai?  I nearly laughed out loud!  Apparently, they’re used to living like that—and yeah, I’d never make it there OR I’d have to learn to merge and harmonize.  Just look at the photo; that many people crowded together like that?  They probably learned to shout to one another just to be heard over their neighbor!!  They’re probably doing what is in entirely natural for them and I’m the one who has the problem!!  I’m trying to see me from their point of view.

Could I be better at harmonizing and being more tolerant?  Yeah, I really think I can and should try harder!  Just look at that picture!  I look at the birds outside my window taking turns to come to the birdfeeder… they sit on the branches waiting for some to clear out while others are there.  Somehow they merge and harmonize and …. Well, some do flap their wings at the others, but still.  I think that when the Mouths of Mumbai are home, I should be not home as much as possible.  I should fly away like the birds to the birdfeeder.  I’ve got to get better at harmonizing and merging with humanity; but I will still carry the Plan B to go back to the wilderness.  I sure do miss the quiet and serenity of the mountains.

Merge, harmonize, blend and quit thinking that you are a separate ego Joy!!!  You are only energy in the world like everyone and everything else.  Lose your illusion of separateness and put the ego to bed, for good—merge, dissolve, blend, harmonize.  Let go.  Namaste Mumbi Mouth Lord and Lady, Namaste!

Excuse me now.  I’m going to bed to nurse my cold and restore my health! It is 9:15 AM ; they should be soon leaving for Monster’s Inc.  Please god, don’t tell me that they have the day off today!!  I’m waiting to hear the door close…. waiting, waiting, waiting…..   Oh, thank you jesus…9:20 AM and their door closes…they’ve gone…. AMEN.

Yeah, I’ll admit to being close to going over the edge…. but for now i’m going to grab  my Kleenex and get back into bed!

 

New Years Eve 2013 Meditation and Loud Downstairs Neighbors

I really miss the High Country and can't wait to get back!  Civilization and city livine sux!
I really miss the High Country and can’t wait to get back! Civilization and city living sux!  This time I shall not forget this!

My bedroom looked like a church–an interjection from my catholic heritage (i’m an X) but for the blessed mother who has merged with Isis, Kwan Yin, Laxmi, Tara and other mother-goddesses in my mind.  Yet, the chant of the rosary is still very peaceful, very calming, stilling, quieting… and using the name of every higher being in my memory,  they were all called in last night.  Please, please dear heavens, let me have a quiet new years eve!  Let the downstairs couple shush a while, Amen.

Their voices were escalating as usual around up until 9:30 but after that… nothing.  Maybe it was my music.  It wasn’t loud but there are a great set of Dolby speakers on my old desktop in my room!  And I used them, called up Pandora on the Internet and played Heart Meditation music.  Then I lit my candles, placed a barrier of light all around my and between the floor and the chaos below.  I could hear nothing but the music and my own thoughts–!!  Amen!

Tomorrow Monsters Inc. will be open again (Lowes Hardware Store Headquarters) where the Indian people work; on a regular work day they should be barking somewhere else than beneath my feet!  Can I get another Amen Brothers and Sisters?  Amen!

It was lovely… last night.  Reciting my most favorite prayers and chants just barely over the sound of my breath with eyes slightly open to taken in the candles in front of my Buddha statue on one side of my room and the candles in front of the Blessed Mother statue on the other side and the heart meditation music on not too loud and not too softly… perfect.  After my chants I quieted for a good while hearing only my music–maybe the angels put the loudmouth Indian couple into a trance!  Who knows, who cares?  I felt completely alone like I hadn’t for days!  Beautiful.

After a good while, perhaps an hour or so, there were predictions for the year and in that state with only candle light, I did my best to scribble down some things that were coming in for the New Year.  Then back to my music and my peaceful mind and heart.

New Years Eve is a favorite time of mine for meditation.  One of the candles that I lit was from our solstice gathering — it was loaded with intentions for the new year.  I thought of people who might be suffering for various reasons and did the Buddhist Metta Meditation for a while with tears streaming down my face.  I promised to be a better person and felt truly sorry for times in 2012 when I wasn’t and then forgave myself and forgave others.  I asked for blessings for each of my family members by name with my heart and mind infused their highest and best intentions for 2013 (something we worked on at our solstice gathering).

Earlier in the day somehow my intentions were fulfilled to have quiet for my writing (the astrology class) and through this miracle hours of writing took place which left me with great satisfaction.  Then I did my indoor exercises followed by a night-time walk at the jogging park a bit of a distance away from here.  It was dark and breezy, temperature in the 40’s but walking on the gravel reminded me of  the crunch of snow under my feet the way it was walking in the mountains.  My music was loud on the mp3 player, and I was there alone and the cold air on my face was exhilarating.  There were plenty of street lights and parking lot lights surrounding this place that I had all to myself–reminiscent somewhat of my hikes in the mountains.

I came home to Lord and Lady mouth downstairs and let me tell you ‘he ain’t no Deepak Chopra‘!  And she?  her sounds are very irritating to anyone’s ears no doubt.  It is nearly comical actually thinking of how they could stand to listen to each other’s sounds all day and all night the way they go on!  How much could one person have to say to another?  Since before Christmas–on and on and on day after day and trust me they are not always happy sounds!  Sometimes they fight horribly.  I’ve begun to notice the sound of banging on the  wall which must be from other neighbors in the building when they get loud.  Ah-ha and that is somewhat comforting that it is not me alone who is sending them signals.

One night I just tapped gently on the wall by my bed to let them know they could be heard.  That quieted them for only about 10 minutes!  They yesterday I did loose it after being awakened by their loud arguing mouthings.  I didn’t mean to… it was probably a response to being awoken in the morning to arguing human voices that caused enough irritation that I slammed the wall with my fist so hard that I startled myself–it was reactive and not premeditated.  Wow, where did that come from, eh?  That got me a few hours of peace afterward but I felt bad all day long for losing control.

I need to go back to writing my astrology class now… enough energizing the downstairs neighbor issue!  Yet, I do believe in the power of intention and others energizing an intention.  Like I said, Monsters Inc. can’t resume business calling the Indian computer geeks back to work soon enough as far as I’m concerned! (apologies to my Indian friends and clients — i know these two birds below me must be rare and not like you at all)

In the meanwhile, maybe others reading this (no matter what day you stumble across it) could help energize my intention to have a quiet peaceful place to live and work–yes?  Could you think that thought for me for a second now?  Thank you.

One last thing–as I told my daughter, since they’ve moved in dreams have been very strange!  And then last night there is the realization why.  After my very nice New Years meditation –which by the way is fun to do with eyes closed and no clock in view anyway  because you can feel the energy build from all over the time zone you’re in and then it starts to peak and you FEEL exactly when new years is!  Lord and Lady Mouth must have passed out since not a whimper could be heart over my soft music and there was no external sounds at all until well after midnight when somewhere there were fireworks off in the distance.

And in the mountains in the past 15 years it is very quiet too–so the point is that it is that on New Years Eve, by the energy build up you feel in your own body which permeates the whole North Eastern part of the United States here,  that indicates when it is 12 midnight New Years Eve!  And before that time–yes some lower life forms are getting drunk  LOL–but many others are also meditating and to be tapped into that energy is very close to total bliss.

Again, I thank the powers that be for Lord and Lady mouth’s silence last night.  Amen and thank you again!

I can actually, as I listen to his muffled voice going on non-stop right this very minute now as I type and as  it has for hours with her high-pitched inflections inserted… I can actually feel so grateful for what freedom i have from that in that I’d not be able to be her.   To have to be in her shoes would be a very special kind of hell for me–to have a man lecture and scold me for hours on end in that way while imprisoned with no escape from him, no car and today it is raining.  Oh, how awful that would be for me although she laughs and carries on to the point where I don’t think she minds it much.  It just amazes me that two people could talk so non-stop, amazing!

Well, the dreams I understand why I’ve had strange dreams after last night.  I fell into a peaceful slumber around 1 am after my new year meditation and next thing I was trying to help a very weak man who was in a wheel chair and had fallen and he was no more than skin and bone.  I could not reach him…  there were metal bars and things between he and I and the next thing my eyes open and the realization is that the couple downstairs are yelling at each other in their bedroom directly beneath my own!

It was quite loud.  Spontaneously I jumped out of bed half asleep and yelled, “Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey….” as I stumbled to the bathroom, glancing at the clock… it was 2:45 am and on my way back to bed, turned on the fan for some white noise and somehow fell back asleep while thinking Oh my gosh, no wonder I’ve been having strange dreams since they moved in! They talk and fight in the middle of the freaken’ night too!? omg!  Yeah, they were totally YELLING at each other at 2:45 AM.

Well, now I’ve  used this time to type another diatribe –instead I could have totally written about the next planet for my astrology class.  Sigh!

There was a maintenance man here yesterday asking to check in the water heater area to see if any patching of the drywall needed doing–he had the wet plaster in his hand.  I mentioned the couple downstairs and he said he’d speak to them since he was going there next.  Didn’t do much good apparently! sigh again!

Okay I’m going to grab the TV controls and put on Pandora and try to drown them out with my music.  I’d prefer total silence when I write but…. that is what I continue to prefer.  Now where is the remote?

This too shall pass as my mother used to say… it will.

Monsters Inc. will want them back to work soon!  and someday their Visa will run out!  And they will board the plane back to their Mother Country…. buh-bye.

No worries; I can outlast anything; I’m tough!  I will survive.  (I have to until my lease is up at least and until i have the $$ to move!!)

Oh, and Happy New Year!  I will post the predictions for the New Year next blog.

I really miss the High Country–I’m moving back to the mountains as soon as I can save enough money! 

My family will be fine without me.  My sister is here now for them…. besides civilization sux!

I WILL TRY TO HEAR AND SEE MY NEIGHBORS WITH THE EARS AND EYES OF COMPASSION!  THEY ARE LIVING SOULS DOING THEIR BEST TO NEGOTIATE THIS WORLD JUST LIKE ME.  THEY SUFFER AND CELEBRATE JUST LIKE ME.  I WILL DO BETTER AT SEEING MY NEIGHBORS WITH EYES AND EARS OF COMPASSION… THEY ARE AFTER ALL,  LIKE ALL HUMANS, ONLY DOING WHAT THEY BELIEVE WILL BRING THEM PLEASURE AND THE AVOIDANCE OF PAIN.  

MEANWHILE, DEAR DIVINE INTELLIGENCE, GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT WHAT I CANNOT CHANGE…. PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE, ANIMALS ARE ANIMALS, FLOWERS ARE FLOWERS AND LORD AND LADY MOUTH SIMPLY ARE… AS I AM AS I AM