Boundaries and Blackbirds: Our greatest challenge is to break away from the herd

What do boundaries and blackbirds have in common?
What do Boundaries and Blackbirds have in common?

Carl Jung said that as humans our greatest challenge is to break away from the herd

Boundaries.  Those lines we draw around ourselves to maintain balance and to protect our psyche from invasion.  Yes, or maybe ‘intrusion’ is a gentler word.

The push of energy that comes from the behavior and the demands of others requires a boundary.  That boundary keeps us from being used or manipulated by others and within that boundary we can express our true nature.  Personal boundaries allow us to be in the driver’s seat of our own lives.

Without healthy boundaries we sometimes give up a part of our self to be available or accommodating in a way that enables others and causes a loss of self-respect.

We can  become so entangled with another person and their needs (co-dependent behavior) that we lose your own identity. This undermines our integrity and leads to a loss of self-respect — and the respect of others around you.

Respecting boundaries. I asked my self today if I honor other people’s boundaries.  Do I push myself on others?  When I get a hint that a person does not wish to socialize with me, do I continue to insist that they do so?  And  do I solicit others in passive-aggressive ways to elicit sympathy from others using them to assist me to push boundaries even further?

Sounds like a little bit like the animal–the bull, doesn’t it.  But you know how some people keep on antagonizing the other, right?   I have a visual.   Someone who is like a bull and charges upon others.   Wave that red flag in my face one more time and I may, do like the bull, and charge!  🙂

Do people have a fundamental right to set limits and expectations in their life without incurring the judgment of others?  I think they do.  You know that saying,  “You can’t really understand another person’s experience until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.“–??

Can people consider the wishes of others yet still make choices regarding personal boundaries?

People are the way they are.  Can we accept that without judging them, trying to manipulate or change them?

I operate from my own truth.  You do too.  And when we respect other people’s truths,  we expect our own truths to be respected in return.

Manipulative people do not understand boundaries.  They force themselves into the space of other people’s lives.

Where’s the compassion?  Fear is the root of it all, you know?  The boundary pushing person has a fear of not being loved, not being good enough, deserving enough.  Okay, that’s understood.  So then what? Do we let the person keep pushing or what?

Compassion for the boundary pusher and for the one with the boundaries ( both ) is what’s needed here.  There is the defensiveness from the one with the boundaries who says, “See what I see, hear what I hear, feel what I feel and then maybe you will understand.”  And the other one, in the meanwhile,  of course still pushes– the habit of fear being the driving motivation.

“You couldn’t handle half of what I’ve dealt with and don’t understand that there’s a reason that I do what I do”, says the one who has been willing to accept responsibility for their own life and who has developed the self-respect which created the boundary.  Victim talk?

Personal boundaries are more than OK–and it doesn’t mean that you are selfish or unkind if you push back when someone pushes yours.  Boundaries mean that you have a clear picture of who you are and how you want to live.

In a family dynamic it is always more difficult or better said–complex.  Sometimes we have to endure a person for the sake of keeping the relatives happy, right?  Or do we?  Do we enable dysfunctional behaviors in family members? Or don’t we?

The “herd mystique” and it’s allure

There is a quote from Carl Jung about this being one of the human’s greatest challenges.  Fitting in with the group, the herd, the clan–“You are family so you HAVE TO be around me!”  Where is that written?  Genetic connection or NOT;  do we vote with our presence indicating that dysfunctional behavior is acceptable?

On another note, is it our responsibility to straighten other people out in ways that we believe they should ‘act’ according to our own standards of behavior?  Whoa! Now  that’s one huge judgment if we believe that.  Where’s THAT truth?  Speak it.  Does that sound right if you say it aloud?  Best not to push your truth onto others or become a evangelist — that’s a karma creator if there ever was one.

By placing a boundary and living within it, you are living your own truth and being compassionate to yourself and to the other as well.  You are also teaching people in your life what self-respect looks like through example.

We have to trust what we know and what we have learned from the work that we have done in our own life via self-analysis, theology, philosophy and spirituality. 

This is especially true if we speak about times when our boundaries are pushed and disrespected, especially in a family situation.  Those are the most charged with the opportunity for growth and for teaching through example.

People who push boundaries are giving you the opportunity to develop or to teach self-respect.  Pushing back is a delicate art.  Knowing how to push back against pushy people takes stamina and skill. (Personally, some days I feel too old for it quite honestly.)

Anyway, push-back involves maintaining your own autonomy and self-esteem when you are being invaded.  You know that you need to step back and protect yourself, while minimizing any hostility or confrontation.  Not easy.  People are going to be offended.  Sometimes I think pushy people know that and it makes them push all the more–or they enjoy the drama.

People who push boundaries are acting out of fear and desperately trying to fulfill their own needs.  Social self-reliance is not really their forte’, their strong suit yet; they’re working on it.  We’re all a work in progress.

Self-care means recognizing the importance of your feelings and honoring them and when you set boundaries, this is what you are doing.  It’s important.

But we’re “All One”–right?

We’re all one and connected and while this is true, and while we can be compassionate and understanding as we see the ‘bigger picture’ with self and others, we still have to be able to function here and in order to do so we must stay emotionally healthy while maintaining boundaries… all the while doing the relationship dance.  Being human isn’t easy.

Being human isn’t easy and being the best human you can be… well, it’s tricky sometimes.

I think the best thing we can do is get out of the judgment with the whole business with boundaries and relationships and being social.  I think Jung was right about the “herd mystique”– our greatest challenge being to break away from the herd.

To fully “individuate” is to be able to stop trying to “fit in” and  to be comfortable living in your own truth.  Separating one’s self from those to whom one does not feel an authentic connection takes courage.  The wrath of the clan falls upon you sometimes; that comes along with the territory of being your own person.

There is perceived safety in numbers which is an illusion just as much as any other erroneous belief we hold about living in this dimension.  Some people, and maybe I’m one, feel more authentic outside of the herd.  Strong boundaries are needed and when threatened, need re-enforcing.  Should that be a surprise?

What about karma?

Karma.  It’s our intention that creates it.  I think that needs to be said as well.  To have a boundary does not carry ill intent.

No man is an island onto himself, it is said.  We are one; yet, it is ego that separates us or gives a unique history of experiences and thus identity.

Judgment also separates us– i.e. “…you are different” or “… you should behave toward me in one way or another”.  It all gets us to work on our human growth and evolution both individually and collectively.

blackbirdBut in the meanwhile, as we do all of that, I like the blackbird way of interacting with their fellow birds. If a bird lands on a nearby branch and is not the mate of that blackbird they do a little nod (a bow) and fly away. Blackbirds are pretty solitary.  They are known to establish their territory, fiercely defending it (boundaries) by driving off any of their kind that get close to their vicinity.  Boundaries and blackbirds seem to go together.

What’s the bottom line? The ending conclusion? The final thought?  The summary? The point? The meaning?  I don’t know.   I just do hope something here helps someone out in cyber-world as I worked through some thoughts about boundaries today.

Here’s an article about emotional manipulation that I came across shortly after writing the blog above.  Some may find this helpful:

http://themindunleashed.org/2014/09/8-ways-spot-emotional-manipulation-free.html

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FULL MOON PHASE Lunar Eclipse October 8, 2014 BLOOD MOON

Blood Moon Full Moon Lunar Eclipse2

Well here’s a Full Moon in Aries theory for you. People who go bonkers during a Full Moon in a relationship sign (Aries Moon/Libra Sun such as it is now) are suspect for this reason:   people will pick a fight with another or provoke reactions in other people for the purpose of dealing with their own conflicts about relationships. Yeah—totally happens.

Full Moons by their very nature are about oppositions (Moon opposing the Sun) and so there will be people born under a Full Moon to whom relationships mean “everything” and others will repudiate all relationships altogether.  Polarity extremes are part of a Full Moon and in relationship signs like the current Aries/Libra Moon/Sun, it’s the same way.  Therefore,  I tend to believe that this is the case with all transiting full Moons too but  especially in the relationship signs of Libra/Aries where even the Lunar Nodes are also currently  transiting.

So at the peak of the Full Moon yesterday with the Moon still in Aries, how did that go for you? Any Mars/Venus interactions? Any Yang/Yin oppositions? Anything surprising? –Uranus, the planet of surprise, was in alignment with the Moon and Sun. Well, whatever it may have been, short lived and sudden as it may have been, the effects will be long lasting whatever it was.

The Moon has now (at the time that I post this) slipped into Taurus—a more peaceful and pleasant emotional territory but the Blood Moon Eclipse had its effect and now we deal with the energy it left behind.

The Moon, which is being eclipsed, is the natural ruler of family, domestic situations, and women. That Full Moon has just occurred in the fiery, and often inflammatory, sign of Aries. One astrologer said issues with women during this Full Moon would not be unexpected, and it’s possible that one may check out on you either emotionally or physically–(adios).

Issues with caregiving can be part of a relationship dynamic at this time. And then there’s always that type of familial “damned if you do, and damned if you don’t” kind of drama. Am I ringing any bells?

GOOD NEWS:  If you can stay out of the dramas (and other people’s aggressions) at this time when the Moon is at it’s fullest, the energy can be purely exhilarating and energizing.

As far as that New Moon intention that we set in motion a few weeks ago, things have peaked, hit the high note and from here on out (the rest of this cycle) the Moon wanes and the energy calms, declines.

But have no fear; a lot can still happen—we are only at the very beginning of the waning cycle. Look out your window now, the Moon is still plenty full.

Generally speaking, as compared to a few weeks ago, things are clearer now than they were then—cards are put out on the table so-to-speak.

Life’s paradoxes become more vivid now—we can see other people’s view points if we are the least bit perceptive and unselfish.

There’s a sense of fate of inevitability that becomes evident here at the Full Moon time and in various ways not just in the way that it relates to the New Moon seed that you planted (either consciously or without knowing what you were doing).

What’s Normal Now:  You could have fear about how you think things are going to evolve in the next few weeks as the Moon wanes, but don’t have a fatalistic attitude!  You see more clearly and realize that things can change at any moment, and you know they have to.  Why? You realize that some things cannot be amended or repaired and some situations are truly stuck and you resolve not to prolong those.

I think it was Steven Forest who said something like if we have to have karma/drama then drama that moves us forward is evolution and is better than rather than drama that goes nowhere but back to square one. I could see that in a situation recently in my own life—yet I don’t think it had much to do with the seed that I planted through my desire or intention during the New Moon a few weeks ago, but maybe so.  Time will tell. Those realizations often times come much later.

Dane Rudhyar says that if a positive attitude of growth and liberation have prevailed during the waxing phase (as the Moon grows toward full), there comes some feeling of fulfillment, illumination and revelation at the FULL MOON. On a personal level, I really am experiencing that now in more than one situation at this time!

That message that we received at the time of the Sun/Moon merging conjunction has now reached the conscious mind fully and arrived in clear, objective consciousness. Something of the past is repudiated – some old value/belief/worry/fear (something) is released in favor of a new realization!  THAT’S Full Moon energy all over!

And so now there is a reorienting with a different purpose than a few weeks ago.

EXCEPTION: if an individual has been negative or carried a hesitant attitude over prior weeks, the Full Moon time can bring about a destructive attitude or a mental dilemma. There can be feelings of being torn; a splitting of the personality but this of course is delusion as all feelings of separateness are. In relationships where feelings of separateness occur the vital essence of the relationship is destroyed. Why? Because that is the denial of relatedness!  Negative energy sees conflicting energy where there is none—such as seeing the Sun conflicting with the Moon in opposition when they are actually relating/merging/compromising. How can you relate to something when you feel that the something is separate from you?  How can you relate to something or someone to which you feel you are being denied the connection? That’s how feeling torn comes about—a bit like personality schizophrenia.

By the by, I admit to getting of the concepts offered in the above  paragraph from the work of  astrologer Dane Rudhyar.  I have include it (heavy as it is) because of personally experiencing the truth to it.  I did paraphrase the concepts the way.

PERSONAL INPUT:  We will see what happens as the Moon wanes over the next few weeks but that ‘bit-of-a-ray-of-hope’ that happened in the New Moon phase 2 weeks ago, that whisper of a hope became concrete and survived and energy of the other phases is peaking now—this is definitely happening in my own personal experience as it relates to my New Moon intention/desire/seed planting. Yet, I still do not wish to reveal what it is that I’ve been focusing upon; not quite yet.

Meanwhile, I’m learning a lot about the Moon cycle writing these blog posts on the Lunation Cycle and applying the information to my own life.

By the way, a bit of trivia here but I just wrote about Joan of Arc in this week’s newsletter and that ties into this blog post since Joan of Arc was born during Full Moon— or so they say.  Her life story epitomizes Full Moon energy.

Anyway, let us ‘hang-in-there’ through the rest of this Lunar Full Phase.

I could have written a book on the fact that this Full Moon is called a BLOOD MOON but, it’s been a long day!  Another time.
The Moon enters the next lunar cycle gate at 225° at what is called the Waning Disseminating lunar phase. See you again around that time at 15° Gemini early next week if my calculations are correct!

That should be around Oct. 12th/13th when the Moon enters that next Waning Disseminating phase.

See you then.

QUICK MOON PHASE LINKS: 

New Moon 

Crescent (Waxing)

First Quarter

Gibbous (Waxing)

FULL MOON

Disseminating (Waning)

Last Quarter

Waxing Crescent – Balsamic 

When the Moon Transits the 4th House

Moon in the 4th HouseWhen the Moon transits your 4th house–hang on Snoopy, hang tough.  That was yesterday, for me—the Moon was moving through my 4th house.  I’ve got some perfect examples of this transit for you.  First let me list the typical areas of life that get triggered as a Moon moves through house 4.  Home is the key here and by the way the Moon actually rules this house and that makes this particular transit a strong one—like a double dose of Moon energy.  Decorating the home—any kind of project involving home at all actually would be typical.  Moving furniture, cleaning, and since the 4th house relates to “family”, those ties may be active. Moon rules Cancer and relates to family, nurturing, feelings, emotion, moods, home, soul, the past, ancestors, parents, childhood, self-image, housing, subconscious and midnight (nadir).  This area of the chart is also called the IC…. it’s from Latin —Imum Coeli (Latin for “bottom of the sky”.

Since the 4th house is the “midnight” or lowest point of the chart deep soul or subconscious issues apply here as well.  The ambiance of the home would be highlighted as well…. the mood or atmosphere of the home or where one lives.  [Where one resides and one’s home are not always the same place]

Like house 12, this area of one’s life is another where the soul desire is to withdraw more deeply into a place of safety and security—into one’s self.  Issues with “parents” or “childhood” may be triggered.  The 4th house relates to the foundation of one’s being.

Issues or concerns about housing situations would typically come up at this time of the month more than any other time. It’s also a time when one recalls one’s ancestors and reaching back to connect with them in some way.  Questions of the mind and heart such as, “Who is my family?” and “Where is my home; where do I belong?” would motivate one’s feeling nature.  A double Moon time is an intense “feeling” time.

PERSONAL NOTE:  It was unexpected and at the time I’d forgotten about the Moon and the houses.  I’d been considering moving a portable desk that I wasn’t using and that was taking up too much room in my closet for days—weeks actually.  Finally I got the big awkward thing down the stairs and loaded into the car along with my gear for the YMCA for the workout the followed.   Later in the day I did some reorganizing in that closet and ran the sweeper over the carpet and cleaned the bathroom.   I mention those details because they relate to typical 4th house activities being simulated by a Moon transit as mentioned above.

I drove to the storage unit, raised the door, saw my “stuff” and broke out in unexpected tears followed by overwhelming feelings and thoughts.  “What am I doing with my life? Where am I going to live and when?  Where do I fit in?  Where do I even ‘want’ to live, even if I had all the money in the world?”  All of that was followed by “I can’t believe I’m at this place again with all my stuff in storage.”

I cried even more thinking of how optimistic I was feeling at the time things were loaded in and noted how some of the boxes and belongings has shifted and slid from their neat stacks since the day they were so carefully and confidently placed!  Every emotion that I’d been holding together came undone and I bawled like a baby for goodness sake!

Yep, there it is Moon moving through the 4th house—a perfect example!  And right on time.  The rest of the day it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.  Believe it or not I think I cried while doing laps but the tears, if any, would have blended with the water certainly nobody could see my face anyway.  By the time I was through the 48 laps that I swam, I did feel better.  Exercise always helps@!

I got to bring in a moment of homespun ambiance experienced later that night.  After I got my grandson back from band practice which I stayed to watch since that always cheers me there was door slamming at around 11 PM just as I was trying to let the day go—I live temporarily with my sister and niece.  Somebody was trying to make a point to the other and a good slam of a door is how those two do it around here which I’m sure the neighbors in this building also appreciate!  Yep, Moon moved through my 4th house alright!

Happy that the Moon has now advanced to my 5th house now.  Will be back to blog my way through the 5th house Lunar transit in a day or so.


Apathy and indifference when caught between a rock and a hard place – Knight of Wands

knight of wands herbal tarotApathy and indifference!  How to “handle that” when there’s a lot to do and you don’t feel like doing it?  I drew a tarot card for insight.  I have packing to do and my heart’s not exactly in that–except when the guy downstairs play’s his guitar and sings like a dog howling at the Moon.  That’s motivation!  But back to the card I drew.  We all have times like that, don’t we?  Stuff to do and we don’t feel like it and know we will never feel like doing that thing–right?  Well, the KNIGHT OF WANDS brings guidance.  He’s indifferent and apathetic at times on his negative side but he also has great courage and he moves forward, although awkwardly.  All he needs is a cause… to create an attitude of service to others and then the apathy disappears.

Fire within—there has to be some type of desire that is stronger than what you don’t want to do.  I don’t want to go in the direction that I have chosen to go but I don’t want to maintain the current course either—that feels like being “between the rock and the hard place” as that saying goes.  I don’t want to go where I’m going but I don’t want to stay here either and I know that I have to go—must go and really DO want to go!  But where I’m going doesn’t seem all that enticing either.  But I know I will be helping someone and will be able to save money.  And it’s only temporary—that last part is what I need to keep remembering!

So I have to pack and there’s the pickle!  I drew a card for my apathy and indifference and lack of motivation about that.

It’s interesting that the herbal tarot connects this card [Knight of Wands] with MONKSHOOD which is actually a very poisonous plant.   It’s a metabolic stimulant and in small doses can be a used [Chinese medicine] for low metabolism.

Suddenly I think of using this apathetic indifference about packing as an athletic challenge—use it as a “work out”.  Make it exercise, work fast and it becomes nearly aerobic.  Yeah, okay—maybe that is something that I could use to change the attitude and motivate self.

What about selfless service? I  could think about how I will be helping my sister save money and how we will both be using less energy—conserving mother earth; things like that.  Yeah, maybe I could expand that and make it work as an antidote to my apathy and indifference about packing.

I can think about the guitar player neighbor downstairs and his howling with his guitar and how I’ll be rid of that aversion.

I can think about how poisonous this angry kid’s energy is and how getting away from that will be a good thing.

Determination is what is needed when this card comes up in reply to a question.  In this case, the question or concern is about my not wanting to do what I know I must—continue packing!

Between a rock and a hard place!  That’s how I feel.  I can’t stay and I feel resistance to going where I’m going.  Where did that phrase come from anyway?   Of course we know that it means, “In difficulty, faced with a choice between two unsatisfactory options.”  Just like “between the devil and the deep blue sea”.

Well, Knights [in tarot] like adventure and change!  Moving from the mountains in the first place was that indeed!  And another move will be adventure and change too—moving in with my LEO sister and ARIES niece!  If you know astrology then, yeah, beginning to see why the lack of motivation and apathy?  But the good news is neither of them plays guitar (same notes over and over and over) while howling like a dog at the Moon.  I must think of myself as a monk going into a monastery!  devote my time for the benefit of all sentient beings and do my best to create some merit, somehow.  Must review the 37 practices of a Bodhisattva!  Must be a better Buddhist!

I don’t think Ram Das really said this but there was a recent quote on Facebook that read, “If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.”   Oh, enlightenment and initiations and packing and never mind all that because my daughter just texted me about going to the Y for a work out.

Didn’t want to pack anyway!  It’s a no brainer; I’m outa here!  I’ll pack some more later or another day!  I think about Monkshood and motivation and attitude while I swim and maybe come back with a better attitude.  Something.   For now, I’m outahere!

Yogic Conduct, Entering the Action, Embracing Life

BUDDHA DOODLE EMBRACE YOUR SELF-AWARENESS BRAVELY

I do love the way Divine Mind operates–that’s just me talking to It!  A friend sent me that BUDDHA DOODLE [image above] moments ago via email (credit to Molly Hahn/Buddha Doodles).  This image correlates with the post I was thinking to make here relating to something I heard a Rinpoche (teacher) speak of the other day.  Before I get too complicated with it all–and I really don’t have to since the doodle says it all really–there is a term I heard that really rang those ‘Buddhist Bells’ with me!

Oh, by the way, I have tingsha bells and they are an economical substitute for singing bowls and gongs and other tools… they don’t take up much room either. But let me go to the point about this term or phrase used by the teacher.  I don’t know if this is the correct interpretation of exactly what Rinpoche was intending, but here’s what he said.  When a highly evolved yogi reaches a particular state of evolution it is said that they are in YOGIC CONDUCT.  Rinpoche’s translator said it means they have “Entered the Action”.

Interesting.  For this particular yogi they were referring to first studied at the university and then meditated in seclusion for a long time and then taught students and then following that he went into “Yogic Conduct” or “Entered the Action”.

Sounds a bit like going into battle doesn’t it?  I wonder if that means  (to do what we think of as ) “walking the talk” in a way that is more intense or “activated” or “active”–??

I thought of my own life since haven come down from the mountain into a densely populated area of sentient beings, including souls of blood relation, family.  It’s been totally intense, like I have “entered the action” in some way or another--fer’ sure!

Again, I have no idea of that’s what “yogic conduct” means or what the Tibetan Rinpoche and his translator were really talking about or it means something else entirely. But I thought the term to be interesting.  I tried to goggle it and found nothing.

But anyway; I am about to be putting all of my things in storage for a while and having one room for my personal space like a monk or yogi in a monastery–like a monk’s cell.

And further will be living with two family members, sharing half the rent in another apartment.  (My hope is that this is very temporary until space opens in other housing where I have made application–and also supplication!  ho-ho, hee-hee)

But the monastic cell is going to be awesome (compared to previous lifetimes!-Ha!) –live plants, big windows, TV, computer, desk, etc.  Heaven in comparison!  (And the company of fine family companionship…. I am most grateful to my kind sister for sharing with me temporarily so I don’t have to break a lease elsewhere and can be ready when the place to which was supplicated has an opening.)

Anyway… self-awareness, remaining mindful, allowing emotion to become the  path–that’s what the Buddha Doodle means to me.  Another recent blog post covered a good deal more about working with emotion as the spiritual path.

Entering the Action!  Yogic Conduct!  Om mani padme hum.

ASPIRATION:  May I be able to practice the genuine dharma!  

May I remain mindful and awake!  

May all beings, through their virtue, perfect the accumulations of merit and wisdom! 

May this blog post be helpful to someone in cyber world!

My Grand Cross April 2014 Freedom | Housing | Family | Power

photo Joy with Grandchildren
Joy with Grandchildren this past weekend

Yeah, really? seriously?  Wasn’t I just changing babies diapers the other day?  How could this be happening to ‘me’?  I don’t think of myself this way but being the good girl scout, looking ahead to be prepared, I see myself doing just what my own mother (God rest her soul–as they say) did when she was… well, yeah, I think right about my same age.  She found herself a place to live with others of her generation on her limited income and (cat out of the bag here), I’m doing the same thing right now.  I’m too early and way too young for this right?  Probably not; but LO! it’s taxing filling out all those forms and trying to figure it all out.  Which way to go? Which decision to make, while at the same time feeling completely at the mercy of the odds.  There’s not many ways to go actually. You just fill out the forms and pray you can manage until you move up on the list–and until the odds are in your favor, try to survive.

“May the odds be ever in your favor”–Hunger Games.

Well, anyway Cancer Capricorn is part of that grand cross with Aries Libra.  Yeah, there are the planets in those signs of course but let’s just think a minute about Capricorn/Cancer.  Sort of strange how those merge isn’t it? Capricorn (age) and Cancer (the baby/the child).

Isn’t it as we age that we become more childlike?  Think of (oh, do we have to?) those “adult day care centers”–I can’t believe they actually call them that!  That’s a perfect example of the merging of Capricorn (old) and Cancer (baby).  I just realized that just typed “old baby” and I’m about to gross myself out here and maybe you too reader!

And of course wouldn’t you know this grand cross is triggering my 5th and 11th houses and the 2nd and 8th.  Issues with the community, with my children, with my money and the money of others.  Yeah, that’s how it’s all playing out in my life–those areas are being triggered.

And it’s culminating, about to hit the fan as the saying goes.  Well, eventually I’m going to need some help and so I’m lining it up here–that’s just me facing old age even though I kick my legs and swing my arms in the pool as often as I can to stay young.  Yet, I’m falling into my mother’s footsteps to find a community of people my age where income is adjusted to what’s fair and reasonable.  I’m not like these younger adults with  a big corporate entity backing me up with a big paycheck every week; it’s just me out here mother/father god; just little ole’ me.  And maybe I’m delusional but I do deeply believe that I am employed by that unseen force that helps me to help others when I do psychic readings, counseling and astrology.  I’ve got a few calls into the ‘big boss’ if you know what I mean.

Meanwhile, I see some synchronicity–well, a good bit of it if I’m going to be fair in my blogging accounts.  I found out about help that came about in just that way serendipity, coincidence or whatever you’d like to call it–the path was shown and I’ve been following it and getting more and more direction and information.  So, I’m being led even though I see several possible outcomes, as if yet there’s no indication as to which one will manifest.  I’m, therefore, in the trust phase; and they don’t call it blind trust for nothen’!

It’s triggering that Aries/Libra thing too (Mar in Libra opposing Uranus in Aries).  I don’t like to ask for help and I want to remain independent and that’s hard especially as we are dealing with my money and other people’s money:  houses 2 and 8.  That’s the other part of the grand cross.

Wanting to be independent and yet needing to ask children and community–why? because I’m getting old and that’s still a hard one to admit since, like I said–it was just the other day that I was the mom of three little girls!

Yeah, and wanting to be rescued is part of that dynamic too.  Right now would be a good time for prince charming to ride in with saddle bags of money or at least a big house!  Not going to happen:  I know my astrology chart pretty well.  Even if it did, I’d very likely be held prisoner and Mars and Uranus would be totally pissed off about that!

For me the dynamic of this Grand Cross is kicking up some family issues and the realization of aging, housing, money for housing (Cancer — Jupiter [money]  in Cancer [home]) and family/freedom issues.  Echoes of my natal node’s soul lessons  actually–what else is new?

And looking up and out the window now I see the most beautiful sunset; the bright pink-orange with the dusty blue-purple.  And I think of the word Trust again and take a deep breath.  I will know which direction I’m going (or if I’m not going at all) by the time I need to know.

Breathing deeply, feeling so alone in this but remembering I’m not.

I’ve got a partner in spirit world helping and I don’t do anything alone.  Neither do you reader–we’re not alone, we have helpers and guides showing us the next step or keeping us from stepping at all. 

Blind trust; that’s all we need.  Again. And don’t expect anyone to be able to really understand; in fact, don’t seek to be understood–not this month.  Mars and Uranus are very independent and their both very active right now!  Just breathe.

(By the way, they [more adept astrologers than me] say this transit will stay intense through May.  That’s when I must decide about renewing my lease–not surprised about the timing.)

Lightning Strikes and Dreams Turn into Reality – Uranus Station Direct, Saturn trine Neptune July 2013

Lightning Strikes and Dreams Turn into Reality
Lightning Strikes and Dreams Turn into Reality

Uranus is stationing  direct now about to turn direct again and Mercury does the same thing in a few days!  I always think of Lightening Striking (The Tower Card in Tarot) with Uranus.  Most astrologers think of Uranus as the higher vibration of Mercury—I agree.  Electrical storms or electrical technology could get our attention in some way or another right now.  And we had a humdinger of a lightning storm yesterday afternoon—the thunder was so loud the walls and floor shook… a typical Uranus event, lightning strikes! 

Luckily, I left the pool just in time to get back home and unplug the important electronic equipment here and tired from a long swim; I lay down upon the living room floor, feet up, dark clouds enveloping the charged atmosphere and enjoyed the show from Mother Nature, courtesy of Uranus.

Astrology teacher, Kim Marie (AKA Star Lady) says that right now “Emotions continue to be highlighted usually triggered by unresolved family of origin issues.”  I had a discussion with a good friend about that very thing yesterday—i.e. cultural and familial conditioning and the expectations involved. Pluto is opposing a good deal of planets in Cancer right now (Mars, Jupiter, Mercury) and by sign the Sun is involved in that mix.  These are typical summertime themes actually with planets in Cancer. 

Swimming has been high on my priority list – with so many planets in Cancer, the water sign, that’s right on time.  And in my case, these planets are showing up in the area of my life involving ‘community’—the 11th house.  (My swimming is in a ‘community’ pool.) 

INTUITION LESSON:  I’ve noticed that I was hitting the pool at the right times at the start of things and once or twice, not paying attention to my intuition, my arrival coordinated with full lap lanes.  The more anxious I became about getting there in order to secure a swim lane, the more people wanted to share the lane with me.  I was arriving at the pool at totally wrong times!  Yesterday, I went back to “feeling” or “intuiting” when I should leave for the pool and THAT worked out fine.  I was able to swim for over an hour without interruption. Of all people, I should know better than to let that type of concern rule over my intuition.  Generally speaking, when we are relaxed about life and going with the flow (not being restless, nervous or apprehensive) our intuition will guide us without our realizing it is!  Things just seem to work out and we hardly notice—except when they don’t and then we realize (as I did) that we were coming from the wrong mental and emotional space.

REAL WORLD versus DREAM WORLD… that’s another interesting transit happening now (Saturn trine Neptune).  Where does that occur in your chart and how does it play into your natal Saturn and Neptune?  For me, it’s houses 3 and 7 respectfully where the transit occurs, triggering the 12th and 2nd natally.  However it plays out for each of us specifically, generally speaking the imagination or dreams can come into the world of grounded form easily.  Imagine only good things or that which you wish to see brought into the world of form; this is the advice! This aspect will be vital through November; so dream well use your imagination wisely.

PS—this trine of Saturn to Neptune is in the Disseminating phase indicating a high degree of socialization is involved

Paranoia or Psychic Perception – Maybe Both

Contemplation Image
Contemplation

Paranoia or Psychic Perception – Maybe Both.  Here’s the contemplation…

Alright, I’ll admit.  Today wants to end on a sour note, but I won’t let it!  All was going well until late in the day, my granddaughter came home from school in a snit (she’s only 9 after all, has a head-cold and should probably be given benefit of the doubt) followed momentarily by the downstairs  couple who forgot they weren’t out in the middle of the field in India as they came in from work.  Indoor voices people!  Geesh!  And while reading this stuff might be having the superior, significantly-spiritual type clucking the tongue away and shaking their head, maybe even with a sly smile on their face—let’s not rush to judgment about these things.

Is it my paranoia or true psychic perceptions that cringe when realizing some folks have taken that smile that starts to form at the side of their mouth when they hear these challenges that the mountain yogi me dealing with this daily distraction stuff!  Ha! One person said, “Easy to do it when you’re up in the mountains in seclusion but not so easy NOW, is it?” As if I’m now experiencing life for the very first time!

Wasn’t born yesterday my friends and I’ve been there, done that—after all, I raised three teen-age daughters on my own.

I come back into it now, however, realizing exactly what it all is—as before—but on much deeper levels.  Now I see it as mind being irritated, mind being restless, mind being frustrated (no me) and what a view of it all I have!  Can’t get this kind of stuff in a monastery you know!

For it’s the mind that is irritated—not me!  And I’d have not come this far without my granddaughter and the noisy couple from India.  Never would I have had this kind of ‘in your face’ stuff at these levels and in the perfect timing for me to reach these understandings with it all.  Beautiful actually—just beautiful.

All kinds of things happen—the just do.  Do I necessarily cause them to happen?  Life.  It just happens.  We choose our reaction—the Buddha taught all that jazz.

Oh, I can hear the spiritually significant tongue-clucker now—influenced by all the new age book mumbo-jumbo.  “You attracted your circumstances; it’s your karma!”  Well, partially true if we consider our desire to evolve perhaps; but even if we don’t.  Life unfolds as a matter of circumstances that we simply are privy to witness and we can only change our attitude about it.  (Unless we want to be arrested for assault and battery—a bit of humor.)

What matters is the attitude and not the events—the world is full of desires and fears and pain and suffering and people generally reacting to it all the time.  Today, my granddaughter and more times in the past few months than I can count, my downstairs neighbors are perfect examples.

And me too.  My desire is for quiet and like the Rolling Stones as well as the Buddha have said, “Can’t get no — satisfaction.”  Not from the outer world.

So where is it—it is beyond the world, even beyond the inner world—beyond mind.

Oh, you could say I’ve gone out of my mind and you’d be totally correct on some levels.  I’ve realized that place that is beyond mind and all from humans pushing me there in so many ways so-to-speak.

me comicI’ve also gotten hold of memory—the meaning.  We mistake that we are this group of memories that we have created an ego structure out of.  I’ve given this a good deal of thought since the Indians below me triggered a number of childhood memories and stimulated a fair number of unpleasant dreams, a few out-and-out nightmares.  This causes one to question the nature of memory and dreams; but mostly memory in this case since hold a few and identify ourselves thus creating structure out of those aspects of mind and then say, “This is me; who I am”.

If our memories were our true identity then you’d think we’d remember more than we do—such as what you had for dinner last week or what you did on the 4th of last June.  Unless something memorable, you don’t remember.  What IS memorable, we structure an identity out it and call it “me”.  It’s okay for getting by here but we have to remember it is illusion—and the ego’s reading this are screaming in your heads, “Not me!  I AM REAL.”  That’s okay; I wasn’t always ready for this understanding either.

Maybe it’s all about me getting ready for the inevitable event that we all face someday—death.  It’s going to be easier to let go of this identity structure if we’ve realized all along it wasn’t real in the first place.

Here’s something C said in reply to a question about wanting to live, “To live, to die—what meaningless words are these!  When you see me alive, I’m dead.  When you see me dead, I’m alive.  How muddied up you are!” 

Enough about death—before I loose subscribers!  People don’t like this subject.  About memory, I like this quote:  Use memory, don’t let memory use you!  I should put that one on Facebook.  Anyway, family stuff being triggered is all for the purpose of realizing its memory that I’m overly identified with—it’s all been very good spiritual fodder or grist for the mill as the saying goes.  We need that grist to keep ourselves in true awareness—so tongue-cluckers who think you’ve got it made in the shade because you’ve read all the books and had a few evolutionary experiences and intellectually think you’ve GOT  IT, maybe not so much or there’s always deeper layers and this has been a good one, still is.

The bottom line is we do not need to be set free—we already are.   It is our identification with our body and the structure we created from memory that we over-identify as “me” and our desires that keep us going round and round again, lifetime-to-lifetime, which keeps us from the clarity that we were never born and never die.

All I can say to spiritually significant elite-ist tongue-cluckers is that understanding this intellectually is one thing and living it in the face of human intensity and applying it—well, how deep down the rabbit hole do we go?  With each intense experience, I have deeper realizations that do not come from a book but from my own experience, my own mind but not even there… from a place where I am totally out of my mind.  Hard to describe unless you’ve been there, done that.

I’m grateful when I can be in the right place with it all and when not, I realize I will be—eventually, all in good time.  Patience and perseverance, virtues!

By the way, I am celebrating walking normally this week!  I can wear a regular shoe and barely limp at all; as the illusionary body heals and repairs my broken foot illusion here!  Have a great week dear friends of Light!

(Excuse me now while i light illusionary candles to absorb the illusionary cooking smells from the illusionary neighbors!  laughing as I go… one more desire released… no longer desire to visit India!  See, everything has a great purpose!  ha ha)