Paranoia or Psychic Perception – Maybe Both

Contemplation Image
Contemplation

Paranoia or Psychic Perception – Maybe Both.  Here’s the contemplation…

Alright, I’ll admit.  Today wants to end on a sour note, but I won’t let it!  All was going well until late in the day, my granddaughter came home from school in a snit (she’s only 9 after all, has a head-cold and should probably be given benefit of the doubt) followed momentarily by the downstairs  couple who forgot they weren’t out in the middle of the field in India as they came in from work.  Indoor voices people!  Geesh!  And while reading this stuff might be having the superior, significantly-spiritual type clucking the tongue away and shaking their head, maybe even with a sly smile on their face—let’s not rush to judgment about these things.

Is it my paranoia or true psychic perceptions that cringe when realizing some folks have taken that smile that starts to form at the side of their mouth when they hear these challenges that the mountain yogi me dealing with this daily distraction stuff!  Ha! One person said, “Easy to do it when you’re up in the mountains in seclusion but not so easy NOW, is it?” As if I’m now experiencing life for the very first time!

Wasn’t born yesterday my friends and I’ve been there, done that—after all, I raised three teen-age daughters on my own.

I come back into it now, however, realizing exactly what it all is—as before—but on much deeper levels.  Now I see it as mind being irritated, mind being restless, mind being frustrated (no me) and what a view of it all I have!  Can’t get this kind of stuff in a monastery you know!

For it’s the mind that is irritated—not me!  And I’d have not come this far without my granddaughter and the noisy couple from India.  Never would I have had this kind of ‘in your face’ stuff at these levels and in the perfect timing for me to reach these understandings with it all.  Beautiful actually—just beautiful.

All kinds of things happen—the just do.  Do I necessarily cause them to happen?  Life.  It just happens.  We choose our reaction—the Buddha taught all that jazz.

Oh, I can hear the spiritually significant tongue-clucker now—influenced by all the new age book mumbo-jumbo.  “You attracted your circumstances; it’s your karma!”  Well, partially true if we consider our desire to evolve perhaps; but even if we don’t.  Life unfolds as a matter of circumstances that we simply are privy to witness and we can only change our attitude about it.  (Unless we want to be arrested for assault and battery—a bit of humor.)

What matters is the attitude and not the events—the world is full of desires and fears and pain and suffering and people generally reacting to it all the time.  Today, my granddaughter and more times in the past few months than I can count, my downstairs neighbors are perfect examples.

And me too.  My desire is for quiet and like the Rolling Stones as well as the Buddha have said, “Can’t get no — satisfaction.”  Not from the outer world.

So where is it—it is beyond the world, even beyond the inner world—beyond mind.

Oh, you could say I’ve gone out of my mind and you’d be totally correct on some levels.  I’ve realized that place that is beyond mind and all from humans pushing me there in so many ways so-to-speak.

me comicI’ve also gotten hold of memory—the meaning.  We mistake that we are this group of memories that we have created an ego structure out of.  I’ve given this a good deal of thought since the Indians below me triggered a number of childhood memories and stimulated a fair number of unpleasant dreams, a few out-and-out nightmares.  This causes one to question the nature of memory and dreams; but mostly memory in this case since hold a few and identify ourselves thus creating structure out of those aspects of mind and then say, “This is me; who I am”.

If our memories were our true identity then you’d think we’d remember more than we do—such as what you had for dinner last week or what you did on the 4th of last June.  Unless something memorable, you don’t remember.  What IS memorable, we structure an identity out it and call it “me”.  It’s okay for getting by here but we have to remember it is illusion—and the ego’s reading this are screaming in your heads, “Not me!  I AM REAL.”  That’s okay; I wasn’t always ready for this understanding either.

Maybe it’s all about me getting ready for the inevitable event that we all face someday—death.  It’s going to be easier to let go of this identity structure if we’ve realized all along it wasn’t real in the first place.

Here’s something C said in reply to a question about wanting to live, “To live, to die—what meaningless words are these!  When you see me alive, I’m dead.  When you see me dead, I’m alive.  How muddied up you are!” 

Enough about death—before I loose subscribers!  People don’t like this subject.  About memory, I like this quote:  Use memory, don’t let memory use you!  I should put that one on Facebook.  Anyway, family stuff being triggered is all for the purpose of realizing its memory that I’m overly identified with—it’s all been very good spiritual fodder or grist for the mill as the saying goes.  We need that grist to keep ourselves in true awareness—so tongue-cluckers who think you’ve got it made in the shade because you’ve read all the books and had a few evolutionary experiences and intellectually think you’ve GOT  IT, maybe not so much or there’s always deeper layers and this has been a good one, still is.

The bottom line is we do not need to be set free—we already are.   It is our identification with our body and the structure we created from memory that we over-identify as “me” and our desires that keep us going round and round again, lifetime-to-lifetime, which keeps us from the clarity that we were never born and never die.

All I can say to spiritually significant elite-ist tongue-cluckers is that understanding this intellectually is one thing and living it in the face of human intensity and applying it—well, how deep down the rabbit hole do we go?  With each intense experience, I have deeper realizations that do not come from a book but from my own experience, my own mind but not even there… from a place where I am totally out of my mind.  Hard to describe unless you’ve been there, done that.

I’m grateful when I can be in the right place with it all and when not, I realize I will be—eventually, all in good time.  Patience and perseverance, virtues!

By the way, I am celebrating walking normally this week!  I can wear a regular shoe and barely limp at all; as the illusionary body heals and repairs my broken foot illusion here!  Have a great week dear friends of Light!

(Excuse me now while i light illusionary candles to absorb the illusionary cooking smells from the illusionary neighbors!  laughing as I go… one more desire released… no longer desire to visit India!  See, everything has a great purpose!  ha ha)

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In the world but not of it; adjusting from a life of quiet solitude to commotion

I’m adjusting to change.

Meditative states carry over after getting off the cushion and moving on to other activities of daily living.  The state remains if not interrupted and carries over and one is open and receptive.  The mind becomes like one large flat plate, an empty plate.  And it remains so, if not interrupted, for days, weeks, months.

And there are no longer barriers of protection from the ego since one has tamed that aspect of mind enough to create a calm, flat and receptive plate.  Well, that’s how I relate to mind and life anyway and it is how I am able to be “psychic” and employed by clients in that capacity.

In the process of creating that plate so-to-speak and maintaining that state, I bump into my own thought processes, allowing whatever arises to do so yet also allowing it to dissolve.  All story lines of ego structure melt away too as becoming one with that open plate feeling of openness and receptivity grows.

I could say that this open plate state which sort of feels like one huge horizon of infinity (it’s hard to find the words) enables a state of impersonality; non-personality.

I really like to be in that state and of course achieving this state is part of my job, my career, my service work here.  I’m there when I do readings.  And if nothing distracts me (if I don’t distract myself), I can stay there for days as long as I’m “Home Alone” if you pardon the movie reference.

I just had to laugh at a reference comparison (analogy) that came to mind here.  To meditate and put one in that state of the empty plate and non-personality can be understood by associating it with hitting the “refresh” button on a web page.  If the mind begins to wander and gets too complicated by getting too many other pages (thoughts) open, one can hit refresh and come back to the present moment, now; back to the state of the open plate—one huge horizon of infinity.

No, I’m not talking about any type of escapism here.  It’s more like being fully present.

When someone is habitually open and receptive as I’ve been describing and then enters a room of 50 personalities with helter-skelter minds or even pulls out into busy traffic or heads into a busy shopping area—wow.  I’ve been able to realize the benefit of ego-structure as a type of boundary and am working with a level of integration which enables me to function here in a busy community and in close proximity to family.  It is almost laughable when all these entwined and complicated egos with complex entanglements come together in one room!  Multiply that by 1,000 busy grocery shopping days!  Where is my open receptive plate? What happened to my infinity horizon?  Where did it all go?

I’m working with it; trying to function as myself (whatever self means because there really IS NO self in the true sense of it all) in these crowded settings.

I’ve found a particular type of meditation helpful lately.  One thing is that I keep my eyes open which helps me to be present but not (at the same time) tuned into the present surroundings–well, just very lightly.  I am mostly non-attached yet present and aware that I am fully in my body and fully in my space and fully in my room!  This is a very good practice for me as it helps me to carry this over when swimming in (being around) very distracting energy (family dynamics, crazy traffic, even crazier grocery store).

Living in the mountains was… well, I made a Facebook Post this morning that I will reproduce here.  I am so familiar with the vibration that comes from being physically in the places such as where this picture was.  I resided (really lived!) the past 15+ years in the mountains.  And this photo prompted me to post the image and text.

[image and text below]

Pictures are wonderful! I could linger at this recent photo a good deal longer….
ET is phoning HOME!
Meditating on something simple and beautifully ordinary (like gazing out over a view like this!) enables a person to avoid self-identification and minimizes relationship awareness with others; nothing much here can be connected with ego-conflict. That is the healing gift of the mountains and mountain views. A person can become overwhelmed with a sense of non-duality, relating as”one” with the vastness.
Pictures are wonderful! I could linger at this recent photo a good deal longer….
ET is phoning HOME!

Anyway, lately while on my meditation cushion with eyes open but not really looking at anything and while putting my hands open and facing palms down over my knees (I sit crossed legged in a half-lotus position), what I do focus on at first is a straight back, head, shoulders and pretend that I am the ruler of my own kingdom (am I not?); and as I muster up that feeling, I also allow myself the sense of the  feeling of royalty (being royal) as acutely as possible–such as  in ruling my own universe, my own world.

That feels right to me and then I claim my space on the cushion and affirm that I belong right there, right here, right now in this moment and I am grounded right in that—it’s mine.  Then, of course, who is me and mine?  Yet, for the moment I allow these thoughts and feelings as the entry into (entry point of)  my meditation period.  After that, it is only to focus on breath and letting what comes up in mind to dissolve like the sun that contacts the fog; the thoughts disappear as quickly as they come up.

That helps me with living this new life down off the mountain.

On another note… completely off topic… but do you remember those Hydrangeas that I purchased from QVC at the end of spring?  I potted them and brought them with me and all summer long I’ve been watering and waiting and in metaphysical ways nurturing and just this week, finally!  One of them is giving to the world a pink flower!  It is quite exciting and brings happiness to the heart.

One of the plants (at least one of the 4 of them) has successfully begun to make the adjustment to its life here… slowly and gradually, like me.