A Conscious Approach to Irksome People – Monsters Versus Aliens

Do you have a cartoon character in your life who is making you crazy? It happens sometimes despite our best efforts to be above it all!  I’m even sure there’s at least one Miss Piggy in every monastery… here are a few thoughts that may help you out in dealing with these situations.

There are many occasions in which the psychic reading client will ask me a question about another person in their life.  Sometimes it is a family member or someone they have to interact with on their job that nearly literally drives them crazy.   No matter what the relationship association or reason they come to me to ask what to do about such persons. 

It’s true, you know, that certain people just rub us the wrong way or irk the heck out of us!  Yesterday, I blogged about our psychological  ‘blind spots’ and if you read that post we could insert such an irksome person into that blog post and call him or her a blind spot awareness gorilla!

Now that we can rationalize at least one reason why they’ve shown up for us (again, see yesterday’s post), the question then becomes what to do next.

And for each person the answer differs – I’ve notice that as the psychic message-giver during readings.  The answers that come are not always the same and I never know what is going to be given until it arises in response to the question in the same second (and sometimes before) the question is asked.

But for generalized purposes and for the indiscriminate reader, let’s consult the I-ching Oracle for guidance.  Off we go to toss the coins… 

How do we handle our response to that irksome person who we would like to see vanish from contact with our life, LIKE NOW!?  Better yet, yesterday!

Finding out that you have become a pawn in someone else’s game is a rude awakening!  You want to divorce yourself from that person immediately, but sometimes this cannot be done.  If this is a family member or co-worker or group member or even your best friend or spouse—good luck.  It’s difficult in those situations to severe the ties overnight.  And it is not easy then to ignore or brush aside their existence. 

The thing to consider, says the Oracle, is that you have become too easily rocked by external experiences and the only way to change that is to turn inward… it’s called meditation.

Another bit of guidance here is to ask yourself if you have been unconsciously allowing yourself be put in an inferior position by this annoying individual.  Somehow you have gotten yourself into a position that you neither want nor need.  Was it your own desires (perhaps wanting to be liked or loved thereby compromising your personal authenticity) that has gotten you into the situation?  I’m just asking.  Where along the lines might you have compromised your personal truth?

In the end, the only way past it is through it.  Feel the pain of being compromised by the bothersome individual and take responsibility for your part in it.  That step renews your self-respect. 

What remains now is perseverance.  You can’t divorce your family member or co-worker and it’s not practical to change jobs just because of this one gorilla.   It may be best to deal with this person, at least mentally and emotionally within your own self, as if they will never leave!  I know, I know—gods forbid and perish the thought!  But doing that helps (trust me) to relax you into a state of peace and acceptance about it. 

And the funny thing is that once you go there and do that whole acceptance thing, they somehow either stop irking you or move or quit or give you the divorce somehow! 

These irksome people are usually weak with no power and feel threatened by you.  You’d like to put them in their place ten times over but you also know that to do so will cause resentment from that person, empowering them further, or those close to him or her could develop animosity toward you.

It’s one of those lose-lose situations. 

Keep Your Sense of Humor!


…speaking of loose; the best advice I can give at the end here is not to lose your sense of humor!

Sometimes with humanoids it is like a movie of the monsters versus the aliens anyway, you know? 

Besides, there’s always a Miss Piggy in every group! 

Sit back, get a little distance and have a hoot! 

It’s all only the Monsters Versus the Aliens after all!  Remember?


Daily Divination 5-25-11 Dealing with Newfound Freedom, Seeking Harmony, Finding HOME – Mary’s Story – 4 of Wands, Venus in Aries

Do you know a Mary like this?  Is she you?  Or someone you know? 

We’ve recently experienced a period of Venus in Aries along with 6 other planets. The 4 of Wands and Venus in Aries–same energy.  Venus relates to meeting self needs and in Aries she loves freedom (so does Sagittarius), but this is a story about Mary who has recently won her freedom (Aries) and is trying to determine how to meet her own needs (Venus).

Venus has moved into Taurus now, and those needs and newfound freedoms are seeking ways stabilize and restore harmony.  This is the story of Mary who is wrestling with these energy dynamics.

How do we release the pressures or stresses of life? Sometimes we look for or try to attain harmony or to affect equilibrium in ways that are healthy, but sometimes we look outside our self for what we think will bring balance.

Mary (not a real person) has been in a difficult relationship for a number of years and has suppressed or repressed her own needs and natural emotional responses for the sake of her partner, fearful of rocking the boat (confrontation issues).

She finally finds the courage to end the relationship and is now faced with real, honest to goodness in-your-face survival issues.

After the initial victory is achieved (it took a lot of courage), there are so many loose ends emotionally but in a Taurus kind of way, also materially.

There are many unresolved concerns–property, bills, support issues, divorce and separation issues and her life seems like one huge mess.

Let’s say she has children too, so in addition to all of that,  there are also custody and visitation issues with the X who is giving her a hard time!  Bless her heart, this is quite a challenge.  I know we can all sympathize with Mary’s difficult dilemma.

It’s a real hot bed of stress and she feels like she has simply exchanged one set of stressors for another!

The good thing is that she is finally addressing at least some of her own needs.

Today I drew the 4 of wands and the archetypal energy of this card is the same as Venus in Aries energy. Venus in Aries is about taking care of your own needs—yeah, being selfish enough to do that!   And that’s a good thing, but in the hot bed of stress where Mary finds herself, it’s hard to know what those needs are and how to fulfill them.

Mary is still  in “escape mode” and can’t seem to get herself out of it. After years of visualizing an escape from the marriage in which she suffered a great deal, she is finally free but still runs avoidance and diversion tactics with friends and family.

Her desire truly is for harmony much like the image on the tarot card above epitomizes, but it’s been so long since she’s had any of that, she doesn’t know how to go about achieving it anymore. Maybe she never did in the first place.  Heck, maybe that’s the entire focus of her soul’s life lesson!

With the pressure still on due to all the unresolved separation issues, Mary may revert to old coping behaviors. These may be some of the same ones that she was drawn to using during the marriage or those from prior to her marriage.  She might even be reverting to old patterns from past lives.

Mary is so filled with tension and pressure and somewhat confused about how to deal with her newfound freedom that she still wants to escape. Completion and moving on to a new life seems too far away in the future for her and with the existing pressures of the divorce, she can’t seem to see or feel her way out of this.

The restlessness in Mary’s heart is difficult for her.  She wants a new life and doesn’t seem to know how to envision it or create it, and this causes even more pressure and stress. So Mary, in this case, may revert back to old habits or, again, old coping methods—even those from her teenage years, especially if she has been in a long marriage during which she was not very in touch with her own soul.

You see, Mary is a people pleaser—she really has a good heart and hates confrontation. This has kept her from really knowing herself all these many years.  Let’s say Mary is near the age of around 35 years old.

What Mary knows of herself right now isn’t making her very happy. Major soul issues are before her and she will have to make a choice about how to deal with her response to her current life pressures, choices and decisions.

Will she revert to old patterns of escapism behaviors seeking harmony outside of herself? Will she use her newfound freedom to cope in unhealthy ways perhaps by going out to nightclubs and staying out late at night? Or will she use her free time to go within and seek the true source of harmony within herself?

Venus in Aries and the 4 of wands is about meeting one’s own needs in order to establish equilibrium and harmony.  As we see on the image of the card, the action takes place outside of the home.

Mary feels sort of like this: “I’ve moved away from a familiar situation that I knew as ‘home’, and now I have nowhere to go.”  Where’s home?

The energy of this card is about wanting to have someone to have fun with, seeking freedom from an oppressive situation.

Yet, sometimes that oppression is within one’s own self and is simply mirrored in the outer world.

That’s not to say that Mary wasn’t actually in an oppressive situation (let’s agree for this example that she actually was).   And let’s agree that it’s a good thing she had the courage to protect herself from a situation that was abusive, but Mary has to be careful not to continue that abuse within herself.

Mary needs to find the freedom within herself and be good to herself in healthy ways. We can imagine that this would be challenging for her.   After all, her life is still so full of stress and pressure from not having things settled from the marriage.  Let’s say she’s living with a friend or in shelter of some sort and it’s difficult.  Add to this that she’s also dealing with the emotional issues of the children being separated from their father–it’s a difficult and complicated time!  She’s taken the first step but still has a way to go.

Mary is cutting loose and ready to open up to new possibilities. But she has to take care of herself (Venus in Aries) and her needs. She may want to have the fun and excitement and go to parties—things she hasn’t done since her pre-marriage years—but she has to consider avoiding extremes. Venus rules Libra, and Libra is the polarity of Aries, and this energy can be very extreme!

You see, one moment Mary is meeting all her responsibilities with her job and children and trying to deal with the x-partner as far as visitation and separation agreements are concerned.  She’s dealing with all that and the legal issues of a divorce in one moment and then in the next moment (perhaps when the children visit their father) she goes out all night and worries her roommate sick about her whereabouts and safety!

Has Mary been running away from herself since childhood?

All Mary wants is peace and harmony and to be happy.   But she has yet to realize that these energies exist within her.   Unless she breaks the escape pattern  that she’s running and deals with the other emotional pattern carry overs, Mary is headed for trouble.

It would be productive for Mary to speak with a counselor or spend time alone in meditation or to write in a journal. Parties, nightclubs and one-nighter’s will not restore the ultimate harmony that Mary is seeking even though they are an expression of her newfound freedom. Moderation and balance with these expressions of freedom is vital, but Mary swings from periods ultra-responsible behavior to wild and carefree irresponsibility.

Mary has been running an escape program of behavior since childhood.  She escaped her parent’s home and married young, believing marriage would bring her the feeling of freedom and harmony that her soul came into the world seeking.

The message for today from my made-up story about Mary is to question in which ways you are fulfilling your need for freedom and harmony in your life. Are you, like Mary, attempting to meet those needs outside the home of your own soul?   Are you looking for those needs to be met in the outer world somewhere?  Or are you seeking from within?

Me and Bobbie McGee! Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose. –Janice Joplin

If you’re not emotionally free, then you’re not really free.

Mary, in my made-up story, needs to determine for herself is she is in control of her emotions or if her emotions are controlling her.  She’s free now to make  her own choices, but will she make wise ones with her newfound freedom? If her emotions control her and she continues to seek resolution outside of herself, she could lose until there’s nothing more to lose—perhaps her children, her job, etc.?  God forbid!

We’d like to think that Mary will seek counseling or turn to the wisdom of her inner guide long before anything Janice Joplin’ish like that  even comes close to happening!  The freedom that Mary has sought and won comes with many choices and new opportunities for growth and happiness.

Will Mary take the High Road or the Low Road?

There are many ways for Mary to try to meet her needs (Venus in Aries) and the high road or the low road both offer choices and decisions.

Self-imposed restrictions and responsibilities come along with freedom. It’s a perfect time for Mary to examine patterns of the past and seek inner guidance, listening to the still small voice within–but that voice can’t be heard in nightclubs.  She has to spend time alone in quietude and solitude if she’s going to find what she’s truly seeking!

One would hope that the Mary of our story is able to center and ground in her spirit and come home to herself after many years of trying in vain and after repeated unsuccessful attempts to find where ‘home’ really is.

The number 4  on the tarot card represents balance and stability; we see that number in the 4 elements, the 4 directions, the 4 seasons, etc. And the number 4 also represents the grounded nature of all things as well as persistent effort.

The numerical part of this tarot card is a reminder to avoid the extremes of life–everything in moderation!

May we all find our true home within!   Today, I send my love to any Mary’s out there! Come home soon!  Freedom is an inside job!

PSsssst–  Choose the high road!

[We all have the energy of our higher dimensional selves or soul aspects in spirit world to draw upon to provide energy in times of need.  This I have read numerous places and it resonates with my own intuition.  If calling upon a deity or angel seems more fitting to you, it seems to get the same results.  This is how meditation can help.  Additionally, any resemblance of my made-up Mary to anyone you know is purely accidental.  I drew upon my own experiences after my own divorce 20+ years ago and from the time I spent working in a woman’s abuse shelter, also many years ago. Today, I was experimenting with a new writing style for the blog post.   As always, my intention is to help someone out in cyber world when I do these daily blogs. One last thing…  on the Joplin quote, the meaning got tweaked a bit to suit my needs for this post.]