Denying one’s own feelings and thoughts is no way to create unity with one’s spirit or have a reunion with higher self. This is similar to shutting down and disconnecting. Is every feeling and thought we have going to be saintly or light-filled? And is it supposed to be? Look around. If we’re human living on planet Earth, probably not every thought and emotion is saint-like; but to suppress or deny what we think or feel is tantamount to separating from ourselves. It also creates a state of living in denial—a false world, an illusion. The religious fundamentals will try to tell us we should only have “pretty thoughts” and anything short is some sort of dirty angel or devil at work or there’s something wrong with us. Yes, there it is, they’d say, we are all imperfect sinners and then they spew their whoopla, which is usually what their preacher told them to say while out evangelizing.
But back to the conditioning that indoctrinates us into an idea that we must always be a particular way—a way in which we deny our own soul. That’s the start of the delusion which left unchecked can lead to a superiority complex or fundamentalism that is dangerous. If we bypass the opportunity for self-reflection that self-acceptance of our thoughts, feelings and tendencies can provide, we close the door to our own self-improvement and evolution and move into the fanaticism realms of life.
When we have a feeling or thought (pretty or not) that comes up, and we allow ourselves to examine it, trace it back to where it began, we can take our first step to healing and true self-improvement (and empowerment)—not suppression or repression.
Whatever is repressed becomes distorted.
I’ve been thinking about all of this today and it wasn’t until now, early evening, that I’ve had the opportunity to do an I-CHING draw. Its Kua 59 called “Dispersion”. It is about dissolving and disintegrating energy through uniting with it and understanding it for the purpose of restoring harmony. Ho! And that’s exactly what I’ve been contemplating today. My Moon is transiting my 12th House today closely approaching my Mars/Pluto/Saturn stellium — translation: my mood is very deep and esoteric. I’m having to dig deeply to attend to this blogging task because almost all of me wants to withdraw, escape and disappear. 🙂 THINK TAROT: The Hermit. Moving right along anyhow….
A few things came to mind as I typed those last sentences in that paragraph above. One has to do with a smile and the other with some wisdom from Carl Jung who said that we don’t reach enlightenment by envisioning beings of light but rather by bringing light into dark places. That light or knowledge-of-self is able to enlighten; but one has to be fearless and willing to look deeply into one’s self. Yeah, and into those dark places—fearlessly. And when I write the word “dark”, it refers to the places of ignorance or unconscious-ness that self-knowledge can lighten — shed light upon.
That seems to epitomize (to me anyway) the meaning of today’s message inspired from Kua 59/Dispersion. One could say to disperse rather than to repress. To repress is to live a life of delusion; one risks living a distorted life which comes about through an unwillingness to allow and understand one’s own feelings and thoughts in favor of playing a people-pleasing role in order to be accepted.
It makes me think of the planet Mars and the sign it rules, Aries, which is impulsive energy; it learns from its reactions. That archetypical energy evolves through understanding its reactivity. If we don’t allow ourselves to have a reaction and then examine it, how can we possibly ever… ? Well, think of it as the doorway into the unconscious–to the soul. That’s the message from and the lesson of Mars/Aries.
I’m not supporting a wild idea that we all run around taking everyone’s head off; I’m only suggesting that we not beat ourselves up if we allow the thought or feeling room enough to surface so that we can examine it and learn from it. Besides, sometimes we just need the release—it’s not all that unhealthy once in a while after all.
Another part of this idea of dispersion has to do with lightening up and that’s where that smile that I was thinking of a moment ago comes into play with today’s message. Here’s what I mean and by the way I’m talking about a smile that is sincere, not one stemming from smugness or one that has grown out of a distorted reality or feelings of superiority. I’m talking about one of those ‘home-grown’, down-to-earth, true-to-life types of “I know who you are and I know who I am and I love us both” kind-of-smiles that has nothing whatsoever to do with ego.
Talk about dispersion! When you’ve received one of those smiles from another, you know it and lighten up immediately. This Kua is about lightening up as well as dispersion. The unity of a smile can restore harmony, dissolve divisions and revitalize you, can’t it? How many smiles like that have you given and received lately? Many, I hope! Keep up the good work says Kua 59 of the I-CHING and stay true to that energy within you and others!
That kind of smile comes out of us spontaneously when we know who we are; but we will never know unless we allow ourselves to understand our thoughts, feelings and reactions—something we can’t do unless we allow them. That’s how we grow and evolve and it’s why we’re here in the first place—at least this is my truth for today. Know Thyself!
THE ASTROLOGICAL AND TAROT ARCHETYPE CORRELATION KEYWORDS FOR KUA 59/DISPERSION
Leo – you are the center of your own universe but avoid forcing your reality onto others; avoid living a theatrical life for the purpose of getting people to like you; avoid the tendency to become the actor in someone else’s creation for the purpose of attention; realize you cannot play god in someone else’s life
Virgo – be willing to “discern” your own thoughts and emotions
Libra – avoid people –pleasing and projecting onto others or allowing others to project onto you
Scorpio – become the psychological detective to your own thoughts and emotions; probe deeply into your thoughts and emotions for the purpose of self-awareness and evolutionary growth
The Magician — employ the power of creative transmutation
The Hermit – reflect on your life experiences; find your answers within
Strength — have the courage to face challenges and face fears; using your inner power
The Tower – this card relates to Mars/Aries (see above); experiencing an inner awakening by releasing old defenses and delusions; being willing to be socially unacceptable in order to be true to self; awakening to one’s inner truth; sudden self-awareness
The Devil (Pan) – looking at self to see where we are not in harmony with nature and natural law; the need to lighten up (Pan) and not be too serious; ability to face one’s self
Wheel of Fortune (Medicine Wheel) — restoring harmony; being natural; bringing spirit into flesh (not separation of spirit and flesh which is a patriarchal christian fundamentalism issue)