Blowing Your Spiritual Cover and Personal Integrity September 5, 2013 Daily Divination

10 of PentaclesAwareness—it’s awesome realizations; yet, because we are aware and realize something about ourselves doesn’t mean we have reached full enlightenment—it means we are aware of the path.  And excuse me if you are already fully enlightened but most of us go day-by-day doing the best we can, often reacting to life before, knowing we’re reacting.  But that’s okay or at least Pema Chodron says so.

Her recommendation is to say, “May this person who is driving me crazy enjoy happiness and be free of suffering” even though at the time what we are experiencing is genuine anger.  It always makes me feel sheepish when I remind myself that it is self-cherishing that is the root of my problem—that usually puts the fires of anger and frustration out easily.  And then I want to kick myself for reacting to a strong aversion in the first place.

We have our limits as humans it seems.  We can open to some people, but we remain closed to others—the ones who irritate us.

Awareness is seeing this clearly and realizing firsthand that as humans we are, as Pema says, “…a paradoxical bundle of rich potential that consists of both neurosis and wisdom.”

The thing is that we must acknowledge where we are and what we feel—it is so inauthentic and psychologically damaging (in my humble opinion) to pretend to feel anything that we don’t.

I can seem to feel more love, empathy and compassion for my daughter’s cats than I can for my downstairs neighbors!  I tried to muster up those feelings that I have for those animals and then transfer that same feeling to my irritating neighbors—no can do!  I just can’t seem to put these irritating people in the same place in my heart as the beautiful animals that I so love—I had to toss them right out.  I will keep trying and will let you know how it goes.

I am closed off there and need to keep working at it to open up and resolve my aversions—that’s what awareness can mean.  Oh, yeah, I try to tell myself that they are just like me and like the Dalai Lama says, we are all seeking happiness.  It’s just that their version of happiness and mine are apparently in dire contrast and opposition; perhaps it’s cultural but then again “when in Rome” as the saying goes.

I realize this is more aversion to humans and the epitome of resistance to them but I was thinking that I’ve got to start incorporating flip turns into my swimming routine.  Talk about human in your face!  When I got to the pool yesterday all the lanes were free, but for one.  I selected the last lane and started my swim.  About 20 minutes into my swim as I reached the wall to initiate my turn, there it was!

A man’s face in front of my own, asking to swim in my lane with me; all of the other lanes were filled with men and maybe he felt it was easier to ask a woman—who knows his motives? And who cares? But I felt immediate aversion to having to share my lane—why me?  He didn’t swim long but I realize that I have a lot of work to do in that area also; it’s just that (watch me try to justify my aversion now) when I swim it is like a meditation and one really would rather not be interrupted.  But that’s life—it’s what happens to us while we’re doing our own thing; human interference.  I’ve got to learn to be better at sharing my sacred spaces with other humans I guess…. Well, obviously.  I don’t like feeling irritated and would rather be happy and peaceful—that requires getting over my ego and self-cherishing!

I think to write about it and how these humans get under my skin so-to-speak is blowing my cover!  I’m human too and we all have an ego with aversions and attractions—when I lived in the mountains alone I could, for the most part, pretend that I wasn’t one of them!  Ha ha.

Well, humor is a gift from the Angels that helps us cope here.

Today, I will ask the Angels of Laughter to hang 10 with me through the ocean of life… or at least through my apartment living and my lap swimming at the pool.  I hit my toe on the side of the metal filing cabinet this morning as I made my way to my desk with my first cup of coffee while at the same time feeling resentful for being awakened by neighbor’s voices!

It’s a beautiful sunny day and we started out in the high 60’s, low 70’s this morning.  I made good progress on the project I’m creating for my daughter’s wedding gift and still wish that I could be half as artistic as my middle daughter (not the one getting married).  My middle child draws beautifully freehand and oh how I admire her ability to do that!

I just opened a desk drawer and the fragrance of Nag Champa incense cones (that I forgot I had) greeted me (I love Nag Champa) and may today be filled with such continued pleasant surprised for everyone!

DAILY DIVINATION SEPTEMBER 5, 2013 – TEN OF PENTACLES TAROT CARD

This card makes me think of the 11th House in Astrology, relating to the community.  I think of it too as “growing roots” in the community and creating a stable and comfortable environment. The 10 of Pentacles deals with the domestic life and living life upon the earth and represents “the good life”.  The deep connection to The Universe exists within the ordinary life—through this card I am reminded that the troubles and miseries that occupy many human minds (my own included) are only a play and the community plays a role for us in presenting that which we must free ourselves.

As I finished that last sentence a hummingbird was flying a holding pattern within a few feet of my laptop just on the other side of the glass door, looking at me directly.  Reminds me to be joyful and to find the nectar of life and drink heartily from that fountain.  Hummingbirds are symbolic for accomplishing that which seems impossible.

May you always feel encouraged!

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Wednesday September 4, 2013 Daily Divination, Divine Timing, Escape and Self-Acceptance in Meditation

Hello from Wednesday, September 4, 2013.

divine_timingA touch of fall is back in the air along with the bee-in-your-bonnet vocalizations and wall-banging sounds of my downstairs’ neighbors—yeah, they’re back.     Well, that’s life isn’t it?  I’m forced once again to stay present with what arises fighting the internal temptations to “do something” when nothing really can be done—our end of the building is constructed like a tent.  Experiencing emotional distress is something that people try to escape through drugs, alcohol and yes, even meditation.  Pema Chodron says that even long time meditation practitioners use meditation as a means of escaping difficult emotions. People even create a chronic disease to cover up their negativity.  Let’s face it—it can be difficult to stay present with whatever arises.  It’s not easy to stay with emotional distress despite the cause and be with the energy without judgment or self-punishment in order to go beneath it and find the deeper self.  It’s not easy to fully experience the intense emotions and stay with them neither acting out nor repressing them.  Well, that’s life in the big city—there’s always something as grist for the spiritual mill.

There was a brief moment late yesterday when I was walking toward my apartment.  Yet another Indian couple moved into the building in the front apartment. I could hear him inside of my car with my windows up as soon as I shut off the engine.  At first I didn’t know where the voice (s) were coming from but then I saw him lying on the floor (most Indians have no furniture), cell phone to his hear shouting into it and a female voice (although I did not see her) shouting over his.  Charming!

It was a wonderful swim yesterday and I promise that I really do have to fight myself to get out of the pool once I’m in!  And one hour and 15 minutes is a long swim but I do wish I could grow a set if gills and could remain in water—it’s so quiet under water but then there I go looking for an escape again.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how people use spirituality and meditation as an escape, but I’m also thinking about my daughter’s wedding—the time is fast approaching.  Better get going so that I can work some more on the gift project I’m making and then back to the pool for another workout.  But another thought on escape–more like reprieve actually.  When a client calls for a reading, I’m totally not here in this apartment when I’m working on those levels; even if the lawn maintenance people are outside with a mower or leaf blower,  barely hear it.  In that sense my work doing psychic readings by phone is wonderful temporary relief–more than that.  A gift!  Now that I put it in those terms, how many people think of their work that way?  I’m grateful.

Thinking of that project again… I’m learning to accept myself on yet another level; I’m not the artistic type with paint and brush and such.  One does one’s best and one hopes that it’s the thought that counts after all is said and done.

Nice breezes and around 70 degrees and sunny and as I look out,  the trees dancing in the wind seem to be calling me into the open air.  As I look around the living room /slash/ den area here I’m pleased with my recent furniture arrangement and it reminds me of the nice weekend it was with my neighbors gone.

Of all people, I came out of the place where I’m working on my daughter’s wedding gift only to find her call out to me!  Talk about energy merging!  She was having lunch right next door with one of her brides maids—“I thought that was your car mom!”

I have placed my Happy Buddha wood carving at the top of my stairs on a little table stand and as I look up coming up the stairs I see him, reminding me that this apartment should be a happy place, not a place of suffering.  This seems so much easier to accept when the neighbors are gone.  And speaking of gone, it’s time for me to go while wishing you a wonderful Wednesday September 4th—seventeen more days to the wedding.

Daily Divination September 4, 2013 ~ Angel Card drawn:  Divine Timing

This card reminds me of the blog post from the other day about making plans and about astrology and exactly that:  Divine Timing.  I love that astrology gives us more than a hint of divine timing.  For example, take my daughter’s upcoming wedding this month—her PROGRESSED NEW MOON is in her 7TH HOUSE OF RELATIONSHIPS right when she’s getting married!  yeah, new beginning in relationships is what astrology would predict and there she is getting married—after a long engagement! 🙂  “To every thing there is a season, turn, turn, turn; And a time for every purpose under heaven” — if your not too young to remember that song.   And that’s Divine Timing—apply this insight to whatever troubles you right now, and if it’s nothing–there ‘s divine timing for that too, so smile. 🙂