Betrayals of Trust and Emotional Devastation — How to deal with that

nature devasTAROT INSIGHT:  sometimes we feel that people we love betray us or turn against us and it can feel crushing.  From a Buddhist perspective this can be a problem of self-cherishing and also attachment to particular expectations of people.  In both cases, life gives us what we need to course correct–painful and disappointing as it may be.  I thought to ask the Tarot to give some guidance or insight about these types of emotional gottcha’s.

First though whether people have actually betrayed us or not (sometimes they do unknowingly or sometimes, yeah, it’s intentional) but either way we still have our own emotional feeling to deal with as the residual.  I’m asking for guidance or insight from the tarot about how to deal with the emotion.  Ha!  sometimes I have to laugh at the divination process and how literal it can be!

What card did I draw to pull insight from?  PAN or in some decks the card of  THE DEVIL.  Instantly one thinks of being caught in the hell realms, chained to a person or an idea.  In any case, the card is an indication of being out of harmony with natural law and relates to the need to break old patterns.

Past lives comes right along with the word patterns in my way of seeing things.

They did it in the past–the betrayal.  Maybe not that person or that group of persons but it’s some old wound we’re still carrying around more than likely.   Pan is thought to be the nature god and the world “panic” comes from this source word “pan”.

Pan suggests we laugh at our selves and our life-predicaments instead of falling back into addictive behaviors, unconscious attachments and self-imposed limitations.  Pan says to laugh and be joyful about our lives.

What type of insight does this card offer?  To lighten up, not take one’s self  so seriously, let goes of cares and worries and play more.  Divination rocks!  Especially if you can follow the advice.

Go out and play in nature and try to lighten up–it’s hard (I know) but try to find some humor.  And if all else fails:  Valerian!  

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How to Handle Paranoia, Suspiciousness and Uneasiness that comes from Fear of Loss or Betrayals of Trust – Ace of Pentacles Offers Wisdom

Before you even read this post, I must offer the Buddhist perspective which is something that can alleviate this suffering of uneasiness or fear.  That perspective goes this way.  There is no “I” to feel suspicious, paranoid uneasy or fearful.  The “I” or the “me” is the ego which suffers, clings and self-cherishes.  The ego is also the mirror for the projection outward of what is inside of self.  So the paranoia etc. has to do with afflictions of the ego-self from past which are misconceptions or what they would likely call the ‘karma of thought’ … or mental afflictions, obscurations.  Meditating on these concepts and also visualizing the lightbody… the clear, lumionous, pure lightbody can also alleviate the suffering of ego clinging–i.e. paranoia, jealousy, etc.

It happens, has happened and will likely continue to happen at one time or another to all of us on some level.  I’m talking about being double-crossed, betrayed, stolen from and other human-on-human offenses—either in this lifetime or another.  Those types of wounds go deep and create within the human soul wounds that become triggered from time-to-time and to some degree.  And those old hurts create a certain phobia, uneasiness, paranoia.

We may say things to ourselves like,  “They did it to me once and by gosh they’re not going to do it to me again if I have anything to say about it!”  Maybe you were stolen from by those you placed your trust in and shouldn’t have and now the soul is on a certain hyper vigilance when it gets triggered.  Call that paranoia if you like but what do we do about it?

I turned to the tarot, drew a card with issue in mind and asked, “How do we best handle it when we have these feelings?” 

What I think of first is this saying we’ve often heard, “Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.”  But is that the right attitude to take?  Let’s see what wisdom we can derive from the ACE OF PENTACLES.

As I look at the card, two things come to mind.  One is about being grounded and another is about starting over as in new beginnings.  These are two archetypes of the combination of PENTALCES and ACES.

I am laughing at those keywords “grounded” and “new beginning” – it’s as if the oracle is clearly saying that the way to handle the paranoia is to find a way to ground in the NOW and to remember that each moment is a new beginning.  We, as humans, carry the past with us to some extend for it is all in our soul.  We’ve learned some hard lessons and don’t want to make those painful mistakes again; thus, the paranoia.  Something inside of us says, “Oh, no!  Not again; let me strike before someone strikes me first–or at the very least, I should take protective measures.”

Discernment is a big lesson—knowing who to trust and who NOT to trust.  We can get that confused.  How do we sort it out?  Well, turning to an oracle or using intuition can be helpful.

I’d say that when our stomach muscles are gripped, there is something trying to get our attention.  Are those feelings an over-reaction to be ignored or a warning to be heeded?

Sometimes we have to get some distance in order to know for sure which is which. We should not ignore these suspicious, uncomfortable feelings nor should we become a slave to them.

One way out of it is to apply a method called “The Work” by Byron Katie which is asking the self a the question, “Can I know for sure this is true?”,  “How does it feel when I think this thought?”  And “Who would I be without this thought?” 

The Ace of Pentalces also relates, on an archetypal level, to nurturing the mind/body/spirit on a deep level.  A good healthy meal, an enjoyable exercise of some type or a good old-fashioned nap could help—that or whatever seems to nourish the soul.  Sometimes, for me, that’s watching a movie.

If the feelings of paranoia or suspicions about something or someone create the level uneasiness that is relieved by taking an action toward self-protection; take that action if it nourishes the soul and then let it go.  Let that self-protective measure or action help to put an end to the phobia and the uneasiness that suspicion has caused.  Then go do something else; let it go.

By the way, PENTACLES relates to material matters or materiality.  So money/finances and loss/gain is part of the dynamic; so the oracle is giving specific information about what causes some of that and that is fear of the loss of money or someone taking from us what results in income in some way.  Survival stuff.  There can be also a fear of “loss of self” which is the ego fearing its demise.  Not possible but that’s paranoia. 

The roses in the image of the Ace of Pentacles reminds us of beauty and also the pain of the thorns.  Our fellow humans – some can be so beautiful and others can stab us with their thorns.  Or maybe we can stab ourselves sometimes too if we let our suspicious natures get out of hand.

Lastly, the angel with the money sign on this card seems to remind us that we must keep ourselves in as positive state as much as possible in order to receive the material gifts available to us.  And, worst case scenario, the oracle reminds us that life is full of new beginnings and help is available.

What will help the most to overcome these emotions is gratitude and the use of common sense; so counteract paranoia by focusing on your blessings and as I started with, by “getting real”—as best as you can anyway.

Know you are safe, protected and that you have total security.  Remember WHO really provides for your needs … i.e. a Higher Power.  Even if you don’t fully believe it, fake it until you make it.  It helps to believe we’re not facing this life without some sort of Divine Support.

One last final note—sometimes feelings of “fear of loss” can motivate us toward greater achievement.

I hope this little post helps someone out in cyber world.