Here’s some advice when you are feeling overwhelmed with lots to do and potentially stressful change. Okay. Truth. This one’s for me. Sometimes I think of receiving a flower when I pull a tarot card. I give myself a flower in some way when I pull a card to ask for insight, advice, guidance–divination!
That’s what it is after all, isn’t it? We turn our eyes upward and say a little help. We need a time out. And when taking one for ourselves, pull an Angel Card or a Tarot Card and open up to wisdom. Just shuffling the cards helps to calm it all down enough to hit center, right?
If you don’t have a set of cards or runes or some divination tool, you may consider the comfort they can bring.
We’re moving this week. And most everyone knows what fun that is. I’d like to know what I need to consider today regarding this move, what advice do the cards have for me as I’m feeling like I need this little time out to seek wisdom.
Oh, the card I drew is THE MOON. Wow, so believing in illusions and experiencing distortions. Appearance Emptiness! Here we go again. This is good though. It reminds me of the Buddhist teachings that I’ve been embracing lately about the nature of reality and oh so much more! I need not go further really.
But I will for others who may need this little help too. The Moon card reminds us that our anxiety, fear, doubt and apprehensions are shadows; therefore not real. A good friend of mine quoted Mark Twain to me recently who said, “‘I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.'”
That applies here with this Moon card.
And then there’s Joni Mitchell and Life’s Illusions: ♫ I’ve looked at life from both sides now. From win and lose and still somehow. It’s life’s illusions I recall. ♫ Recall that song?
Most of the time we live in a security blanket of illusion — our life remains the same day in and out. Then suddenly there’s a move coming up, a change of location, a change of routine and the security blanket falls away. That’s what this Moon card represents.
Shadow times, transition times can be maddening but it doesn’t have to be! The Moon comes but so does the Sun. Change is natural. The universe supports it!
Word from the Heart Sutra which holds my life together.
Here I go again–using this blog to sort out my personal life. Therapy for an “off” day here and there I suppose. Maybe that’s it. Write it out and it is released. Not energized further. No. Released, that’s all–sorted out and seen for the silliness that it is, the illusion that it is. Maybe this post could be called something like ‘The Life of a Psychic’ or some such.
BLOG INTENTION, ASPIRATION: Yeah, but in the spirit of Tonglen, knowing others out there feel this way from time to time or there are those who know this feeling right now just as I do. Hello to you and may this feeling for us all and package it up and see us all being free of it, having compassion for you and for all those who feel a bit disoriented or perhaps are also in the midst of a move… whatever it is you are experiencing may we know that we are not alone… there are always many others who also go through this and may we all be relieved of this suffering or uncomfortable feelings such as they are… and may we all come to contentment and peace and may I be part of that process through my love and compassion for us all as we move through uncertain times. May this blog in some way be helpful to you.
Here it is, this feeling I’m sorting out or trying to heal. And the internal feeling comes from attachment to STUFF, yeah, form appearances–things. Actual material things. I told you this is silliness being sorted out here! I already feel better really looking at this using some logic and intellect to soothe the …. well, the what?
Beyond what words can show, it is. How about a picture to describe it? A bit like the scarecrow from the story ‘The Wizard of OZ’. That scene where parts of him were over here and over there and some he didn’t know where!
No, I’m not falling apart but rather I am realizing this whole Buddhist thing about the non-self and yeah, attachment too. How can part of me be in a storage unit (we took a lot of boxes and things, forms) and loaded them in the vehicles and unloaded them into a storage unit. As I tried to fall asleep last night I kept flashing on the dark rainy rows of storage structures and the number on my own with the lock and my things inside. Yeah, it felt like parts of me were there, haunting my ‘things’ in some way.
Another part of me was hanging around my sister’s apartment, haven spend some hours at her place over the weekend helping her clean and pack. Yet still, another aspect of consciousness was hanging around the new apartment that we’re going to that is getting updated appliances, new carpet, paint and so forth–do I really belong there? Where is my place when I also see flashes of the last few things leaving this apartment unit. I’m all over the place! Like I said, silliness in the life of a psychic.
I’m feeling a wee little bit like crying (its mild), but have no real down-home authentic reason but for the fact that I’m feeling homeless and even without a self, more like a floating spirit neither here, nor there, everywhere and nowhere. And the Buddhist teachings speak of emptiness in view of it holding form and formlessness such that everything is actually non-real as if it were a Moon’s reflection in the water.
I think again of that song of enlightenment, “All these form, appearance emptiness; like a rainbow with a shining glow…”
And one of the other lines is “Just let go, and go where no-mind goes.”
I guess I’m having to do that a bit as I feel pulled in many directions like taffy. Pulled, stretched, thinning out…. and definitely no place to ground. The lessons of impermanence and non-self and forms being emptiness by appearing just the same… these are all being re-enforced within me.
At the same time, it feels like my solar plexus is torn a bit. Here I am looking at an application, another one, for an apartment that I applied for on April 2nd and last week I found out my application was nowhere to be found. I now have to fill out a new one!
Meanwhile, I am trying to visualize how I will fit all my necessary “stuff” into the master bedroom of the apartment that I’m sharing with my sister and her daughter, a teenager! I feel grateful to have a place to go.
GRATITUDE: I CAN DO this, of course I can and am so grateful to have some shelter so that I’m free to go without having to break a lease just as soon as I get a call from one of the many places upon which my name is on the list.
And so the story goes. Maybe I feel a bit better for writing it out? My tummy is still topsey-turvey but I’m telling myself to enjoy the experience such that it is. I’d better get that application filled out (another form—“all these forms”— and anyway get it resubmitted. Forms are only emptiness.
Sometimes Life Itself is like this photo: Dense Fog! And we can’t quite see what’s around the curve of Life and let’s face it, life is curvy. The guitar dude downstairs neighbor may agree with that one based on his behavior this morning. He’s slammed the door beneath me four times and screamed from the area of the parking lot, “You’re f____ing kidding me!!” All on an otherwise very quiet Sunday morning! Chances are he’d agree that life is curvy right now! LOL
Cha- cha- cha- chaaa-changes!! As for me, it’s a little bit foggy but I did see our new apartment yesterday, being able to look upstairs at what will be my monastic cell. Could be worse. Not sure how this is all going to go since now the move date is in question, at least my own half of it. I may be looking at boxes for a month longer than I originally thought since the only girl left in the office (the other two quit) can’t get an answer from the big boss regarding my particular apartment’s lease. Geesh!
I’m looking hither, thither and yon trying to determine how the furniture is going to be in my room and have fingers, toes, and everything crossed that they can get the horrid smell out of the place before we get in. Previous tenants had some real issues! Yuck.
Yeah, foggy. I don’t know how long I’ll have to be there before another place opens and with each box I pack, I wonder if its contents should go to storage or the garage sale/Goodwill pile. Ahh, but it could be so much worse indeed! At least there is someplace to go besides the street with a shopping cart! Actually, I’m sort of getting ‘into’ the fog lately finding the humor in it while I sing the Buddhist song about form, appearance and emptiness! That’s a song of enlightenment and always calms me and soothes me and restores happiness [lyrics below].
Meanwhile, I know the sun will shine again and all will be temporarily organized again even though there’s chaos now. Then we have the next move after this one to who knows where for certain; although I have a pretty good idea (being psychic and all).
Empty forms like a rainbow with a shining glow! — I try to hum this tune as I load the boxes.
Better go feeD my daughter’s cats now! Today’s my last day of cat duty–that drive down the Interstate is way too exciting for my taste but shouldn’t be bad today being that it’s Sunday. Good excuse to get away from the wailing guitar guys anger as he gives me opportunities to practice patience over and over as he slams the door yet again! Wow, bad morning dude?
The wall shakes when the door slams… more Bodhisattva practice for me!! thanks dude!
Oh yeah, the Buddhist song…. the words….
It goes like this:
All these forms, appearance emptiness
Like a rainbow with it’s shining glow
In the reaches of of appearance emptiness
Just let go and go where no mind goes
Every sound is sound and emptiness
Like the sound of an echo’s roll
In the reaches of sound and emptiness
Just let go and go where no mind goes
Every feeling is bliss and emptiness
Way beyond what words can show
In the reaches of bliss and emptiness
Just let go and go where no mind goes
All awareness, awareness emptiness
Way beyond what thoughts can know
In the reaches of awareness emptiness
Let awareness go, OH, where no mind goes!
Bodhisattva Practice #18 on Discouragement and Compassion (from the 37 practices of a Bodhisattva): “… without discouragement take on the misdeeds and pain of all living beings.”