Angel Card

Calming the fear – taming of the shrew ego – that’s been tonight’s business. Am I going to be able to pay next month’s rent while still being able to give my daughter a small (and I do mean small) wedding gift? Mid-August through mid-September is customarily a slow time with people getting children (and themselves) back to school and college. I’m not irresponsible when it comes to money. And anyone who knows me also knows this is ‘the big one’ that I seem to have to deal with every now and again: survival (money) issues! O and Lo am I ever so weary of that shrew cropping up now and again at the worst possible times! Like now.

How do we counteract gripping fear and worry?

And make no mistake, it does have to be counteracted—it can be cripplingly immobilizing and can create near panic. O maybe it’s not financial issues for you—perhaps it’s your family issue or your health issue or your career issue or some timing issue of some type. No matter—fear is fear; and I’ve learned hope is the flip side of it and isn’t all that helpful in its essence either… hope is just another game of the ego-shrew.

That claustrophobic and trapped feeling that fear instigates can feel pretty intense! So what to do?

Well, since I just did something that helped, it occurred to me to blog about it in case it may help someone out there in cyber world with their fear in some way too.

Help! I’m afraid, I’m scared, I’m worried, I’m freaking out… “Holy hemmed-in Batman, what do we do?”

First, it’s best (having learned from experience) if we can catch ourselves before we sink too deep into those feelings. And that feeling (you know… you’re familiar) is similar to being cast in concrete and drifting into the deep dark ocean.. the abyss.

You know when it’s happening and it’s no use trying to escape through demonstrations of anger or blame and it doesn’t help to try to dull the senses through alcohol, food or drugs—that’s only putting a band aid on it and then you feel worse when you have to rip that bandage off!

The best way to catch that feeling and shift it is to simply think of the part of the universe called potentiality or god or space or expansiveness—start to get a visual of a huge blue ocean or pink sky or the vastness of outer space (think far out where there are 10 galaxies before you).

Now breathe that in and deeply too! And then breathe out the claustrophobic feeling right into that visual of open space.

What helps me is to bring purpose to my suffering of fear by thinking about others—other humans. People who are in the same situation as myself who are also feeling this way and so now I breathe out for them the claustrophobic fearful paralyzing feelings of despair and fear and I breath it out for myself too—for all of us.

And for all of us I breath in that expansive sky, ocean or place in the universe where the group of galaxies are—whatever visual works for you.

I think it’s good to realize that the expansiveness is full of potential—full of good energy that can make our desires manifest—and with that thought, breathe it in deeply for self and for others.

That first step helps you to feel so much better and gets you out of the grip of the downward spiral.

For myself I find it comforting to grab my divination tools—that helps me focus the energy that I’ve just connected with especially now that I am emptier of the fear. Not everyone would do this; but because I am a psychic by profession, I happen to have divination tools and I use them to have a talk with myself on all levels that myself exists and with all the Divine Assistants who are… well, assisting.

If you don’t have divination tools like tarot cards or runes or a pendulum or angel cards, simply get a paper and pencil and start journal-ing and in the process of journal-ing, ask your Self one question at a time and intuit the answer—write it all down even if you think you’re making it up; if you are open and sincere, that’s all you need to be.

You will find it is comforting and centering to ask questions and to let the divine intelligence answer.

Pause every now and then and do the expansive breathing and visualization—releasing limiting feelings and breathing in freedom, safety and the type of assistance you require. Ask and don’t be surprised when it is given.

The ego-shrew will still try to take hold from time-to-time throughout the process, but we are taming the shrew and will not tolerate that interference—just breathe that shrew away!

Tonight I used my cards and received the informational replies to my questions which felt reassuring and I now feel much calmer.

I asked if my financial situation will improve and received the Yes indicator from my tarot cards and then at the end of the question and answer session I thought to pull one Angel Card and after giving it the good shuffle, I felt the energy indicator (energy surges within me) to stop the shuffle and turn over the top card.

Review: My overall concern this evening (truthfully, it was gripping fear) had everything to do with money/finances and my shrew-ego had been goading me to worry over my ability to pay next month’s rent, remember?

I had to smile and lean back onto my pillow when I saw the card that came up—it was the Angel Card of ABUNDANCE. I feel better.

I hope that something written here helped you to feel better too.

Hello from Wednesday, September 4, 2013.

A touch of fall is back in the air along with the bee-in-your-bonnet vocalizations and wall-banging sounds of my downstairs’ neighbors—yeah, they’re back. Well, that’s life isn’t it? I’m forced once again to stay present with what arises fighting the internal temptations to “do something” when nothing really can be done—our end of the building is constructed like a tent. Experiencing emotional distress is something that people try to escape through drugs, alcohol and yes, even meditation. Pema Chodron says that even long time meditation practitioners use meditation as a means of escaping difficult emotions. People even create a chronic disease to cover up their negativity. Let’s face it—it can be difficult to stay present with whatever arises. It’s not easy to stay with emotional distress despite the cause and be with the energy without judgment or self-punishment in order to go beneath it and find the deeper self. It’s not easy to fully experience the intense emotions and stay with them neither acting out nor repressing them. Well, that’s life in the big city—there’s always something as grist for the spiritual mill.

There was a brief moment late yesterday when I was walking toward my apartment. Yet another Indian couple moved into the building in the front apartment. I could hear him inside of my car with my windows up as soon as I shut off the engine. At first I didn’t know where the voice (s) were coming from but then I saw him lying on the floor (most Indians have no furniture), cell phone to his hear shouting into it and a female voice (although I did not see her) shouting over his. Charming!

It was a wonderful swim yesterday and I promise that I really do have to fight myself to get out of the pool once I’m in! And one hour and 15 minutes is a long swim but I do wish I could grow a set if gills and could remain in water—it’s so quiet under water but then there I go looking for an escape again.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how people use spirituality and meditation as an escape, but I’m also thinking about my daughter’s wedding—the time is fast approaching. Better get going so that I can work some more on the gift project I’m making and then back to the pool for another workout. But another thought on escape–more like reprieve actually. When a client calls for a reading, I’m totally not here in this apartment when I’m working on those levels; even if the lawn maintenance people are outside with a mower or leaf blower, barely hear it. In that sense my work doing psychic readings by phone is wonderful temporary relief–more than that. A gift! Now that I put it in those terms, how many people think of their work that way? I’m grateful.

Thinking of that project again… I’m learning to accept myself on yet another level; I’m not the artistic type with paint and brush and such. One does one’s best and one hopes that it’s the thought that counts after all is said and done.

Nice breezes and around 70 degrees and sunny and as I look out, the trees dancing in the wind seem to be calling me into the open air. As I look around the living room /slash/ den area here I’m pleased with my recent furniture arrangement and it reminds me of the nice weekend it was with my neighbors gone.

Of all people, I came out of the place where I’m working on my daughter’s wedding gift only to find her call out to me! Talk about energy merging! She was having lunch right next door with one of her brides maids—“I thought that was your car mom!”

I have placed my Happy Buddha wood carving at the top of my stairs on a little table stand and as I look up coming up the stairs I see him, reminding me that this apartment should be a happy place, not a place of suffering. This seems so much easier to accept when the neighbors are gone. And speaking of gone, it’s time for me to go while wishing you a wonderful Wednesday September 4^th—seventeen more days to the wedding.

Daily Divination September 4, 2013 ~ Angel Card drawn: Divine Timing

This card reminds me of the blog post from the other day about making plans and about astrology and exactly that: Divine Timing. I love that astrology gives us more than a hint of divine timing. For example, take my daughter’s upcoming wedding this month—her PROGRESSED NEW MOON is in her 7TH HOUSE OF RELATIONSHIPS right when she’s getting married! yeah, new beginning in relationships is what astrology would predict and there she is getting married—after a long engagement! 🙂 “To every thing there is a season, turn, turn, turn; And a time for every purpose under heaven” — if your not too young to remember that song. And that’s Divine Timing—apply this insight to whatever troubles you right now, and if it’s nothing–there ‘s divine timing for that too, so smile. 🙂