Liberation and Enlightened Awareness Means Not Taking Your Self Too Seriously!

enlarge for background or headerLike everything mental, the so-called ‘law of causation’ contradicts itself (says Nisargadatta).  He adds, “No thing in existence has a particular cause–the entire universe contributes to the existence of even the smallest thing; nothing could be as it is without the universe being what it is.”  In this response to a question Nesargadatta is taking time out of the equation which the ego-mind attaches to but the universe functions outside of the law of causation because causation means succession of space time events that are physical or mental and all that has to do with “mind”.  The universe is not bound by its content– everything is an expression of the totality of causes.

As the couple from India in the apartment below me showed up, so did a used book that I’d forgotten I ordered on a teacher (interestingly enough) also from India—Nisargadatta!  For decades now my ears have taken in that name spoken by Dr. Wayne Dyer who would often quote him in his lectures.  The noise and smells below me were too much India for me and the book sat beneath a pile of others, intentionally buried!  After a few gatherings of Indian people for weekend parties below me, it was as if I was THERE—bad enough my sleep and meditations have been disturbed. Teacher or not–a book written by someone having anything to do with India seemed like something that would throw me way over the edge.  I’d been on India overdose!

But I think I really like Nisargadatta now that I’ve cracked the book.  He has essentially validated some of my own insights regarding what happens being just life and even my life being just life and all of it just being energy playing out—no need to take any of it personally!

Between this teacher and few others (via books), I’m also realizing that we humans take our preferences and pains from past memories and call that ME, identifying ourselves based on our memories.  Case in point—the Indian couple (who are just being themselves) have loud voices which I’m now realizing as I look around this community many do talk very loud—trigger within me memories of my parents fighting when I was a child.  Yes, before you ask the Indian couple fights—doors slam and fighting is fighting no matter what language it’s in; so there’s no mistaken it.   Again, it could totally be a cultural thing but all that aside, I find myself bracing in my stomach and jaw when they come in to their apartment (yes, I can hear them) and many times I look for excuses not to come home when I know they’re home—just like as a child I’d not want to go home to hear my parents fighting.  I’d get sick to my stomach and beg my grandmother to let me stay with her so I didn’t have to go home.  All this is memory that I over-identify with as ‘me’—this is what I’m realizing or remembering.  The I AM of ‘me’ doesn’t have anything to do with any of that!  And that is what Nasargadatta is explaining in the book that I’m reading!

I knew that, I lived that and figured it out on my own but forgot it.  Even my longing to go home to the mountains is really just a memory that I’m overly attached to and too identified with which is causing additional unnecessary suffering.

We are not our memories!  Good ones (the serenity of the mountains, the silence) or the bad ones (people yelling and fighting) or even the current events or happenings—it is all just energy playing out and the universe doing what it does and we are part of it in this moment but don’t need to over identify with the memories of the past or the apprehensions of the future.

That is true liberation.  The challenges of course are to recall this and be in this realization; and remain in that awareness when those memories that we mistake for a ‘me’ are triggered.  That’s my work now or at least part of it.

It is said that we are slaves to what we do not know.  And of what we do know we are masters.   When we discover something within ourselves like this and when we strive to understand it and understand its causes and its workings, we can potentially overcome it by the very knowing—the unconscious dissolves when brought to the conscious.

Then we can become quiet again—serene, at peace.

By the way, I am also reading Songyal Rinpoche’s Tibetan Book of the Living and the Dying.  I read the huge long thick tedious version a few decades ago when I was a physical therapist.  It was on the required reading list to become a hospice worker.  I did my own survey over the years asking every hospice worker I’d met if they read this book that is required to be read (according to the hospice paperwork I came across) and not a one of them had read it!

Now it’s time for me to do my own writing while everything is quiet here—at least in between clients and my other work.  It’s time for me to return to writing my astrology course.  Meanwhile, the message for the day is not to take your self too personally; like Nisargadatta reminds me through his book, every thing and every one is the energy of the universe working itself out.  Consciousness is one thing but AWARENESS is beyond that and the earth/ego realms and in awareness we realize this liberating truth!

These reminders and realizations and the memory releases are part of the transiting North Node of the Moon merging with my natal South Node (4th house Scorpio)– conjunct now within one degree.  Somehow the recent broken bone in my foot is part of the mini-awakening here and a message to get back in the body and stay centered in the present moment!  There has been so much change since last June!  As a psychic/intuitive, I could feel the change coming but frankly did not foresee how the reversed lunar nodal returns would play out!  ( The nodes were in an exact conjunction 2 days after I broke–in 2 places– a bone in my foot.  Two days before the exact conjunction is “close enough in horse shoes and hand grenades”, as the saying goes.)

For any astrologers out there who may wonder how a reversed lunar nodal return would play out in the 4th house, I also left my home in the mountains to move closer to my children in order to help them which is how I ended up in an apartment above a loud Indian couple.  It was very quiet when I first moved here.  Just for the record, people in our building have complained to the office about them and they have become better mannered and quieter since then.

And here again I have to turn back to Nisargadatta and the liberating teachings and Truth which I have come to already know within myself through my experience in meditation and contemplation:  whatever happens is just life (which includes me) being just life  and all of it just being energy playing out—no need to take any of it personally!  Not even should I take my own self personally — everything is just energy playing itself out.  In a state of pure awareness I see that!  I clearly do and obviously needed the reminder.

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