The photo is a recent one December 2012 High Country of North Carolina — my destination! my home! I’ve got to get back~ ET phoning home!
Compassion is the only way around this situation. Resentment is poison. Try to stand in their shoes Joy! Strange country, perhaps even a strange language–they do not seem to be speaking English down there. Both of them maybe afraid, fearful — clinging to one another. He talks and talks over the vacuum cleaner and she to him nearly as if they’re fearful that the vac will come between them and separate them even for a moment. They may cleave and cling to one another to away their own personal, individual fears. Perhaps they feel as though they made a mistake to come here. I don’t believe they have a car and someone picks them up on week days; and i know personally how horrible that feeling is–very limiting and feeling trapped. I can now begin to feel deep compassion for their lives and situation and find more patience and tolerance for their non-stop and lively conversations. I imagine maybe they are both deaf… partially. This could be possible. Maybe they could have met one another at a place for the deaf as children and have known one another for many years. In this case they suffer a handicap and this helps me to feel more compassion for them. Couldn’t his be why they speak so loudly? They do not know, do not realize.
I did not realize how paper-thin these walls are. When I moved here I do not think neighbors were there–I did not hear any sounds, noises. I imagine that they do not hear me and thus do not know how thin the walls are. O the poor people –perhaps blaming, clinging, not knowing many others, alone without transportation in a strange country! I feel compassion for them and want to give them a hug because of what imagined suffering they may be experiencing.
I, too, feel great compassion for myself. I am working on my astrology class–trying to! I do not have family responsibility currently and planned the time between Xmas and New Years that I would do extra meditation and writing of my astrology course. Its been nearly impossible to feel alone enough in my own sanctuary, such that it is, to be able to do this. I feel compassion for myself too for those reasons. Every New Year Eve, my habit is to spend the entire day in quiet contemplation and then in the evening to go deeply into meditation. It is then that predictions for the New Year come in; but this year I do not know how quiet this environment of apartment dwellers will be. Judging from just the downstairs folks alone not to mention the conglomeration of humans here and the residential homes just on the other side of the trees beyond the balcony… well, there is also compassion for myself. New Years is bound to be different this year.
Oh, the poor people downstairs–those poor people–this is where i must be in my mind and heart–it must be so difficult for them too. And for myself, there is humor in this too. I remember when I had small babies, when my children were small, and I would do my work when the babies were sleeping. Finally it would be nap time and then I’d get to do what I needed to do! This is how I am beginning to do with this Indian couple. If they quiet down that is when I get out my work or do a mediation! Can i feel more compassion and love for those humans if I think of them as my noisy children? Sometimes they laugh, sometimes they fight, sometimes they are quiet and then a sudden outburst of voice–just like children playing in their room!
I am blogging to help myself to adjust to the changes around me. Shhhhhh, it seems quiet down there; maybe the babies have fallen asleep or are playing a quiet game. I am grateful.
I found the library around here yesterday; it was of course closed but it is somewhere to go–not that libraries these days are necessarily quiet either. But is a change, to get out of this environ and into another! O the poor Indian people downstairs; they seem to have only each other to entertain themselves and how happy I am for them because they have each other so that they are not lonely. Let me feel happy for them when I hear their loud voices–please let me rejoice for them. And maybe their ears are not properly functioning and this is why they call out loudly in their non-stop conversations–they cannot help their afflictions. And even if their ears are fine, I still feel compassion for them–especially for her since he talks non-stop at her for hours on end. She must have great tolerance; perhaps i could admire her since I would not be able to have such strength. I’d have shoved a sock into his mouth and taped it over long ago! Opps, there came my cynicism and sarcasm slipping in!
Dogs bark you know? they do. Why? I will have to think more of it… they want to be heard I suppose. Oh, these poor people like dogs who neither one feels heard and keeps barking and barking. I could turn up my music louder but then I distract my own thoughts worse than the barking. I am feeling compassion now for myself again. I wanted to spend this time writing my astrology class and not typing out another diatribe on the blog!
Yesterday, I left and went to a store, a walk and dinner with my daughter. Last night they were so loud i didn’t try writing, I just put a movie on to drown them out and balanced my checkbook and paid bills. Oh, what can I do? what can I do? I think with no furniture in their apartment the sounds cannot help but echo. Most Indians just somehow come up with a used mattress or sleep upon the floor since some are here only 6 months and others 2 years; depending on their contract with the Lowe’s headquarters here I suppose. T”hey sit on the floor–with their computers — this you see as you pass by if their blinds are open and lights on at night.
“My body is the garden of my soul… “these words come over my TV set on low volume. The voice is Deepak Chopra who is also Hindu and from India on the meditation channel in Pandora.
I wish that … well, when i do a reading for someone… i go somewhere even when I am clearly here…. i do not hear noises … barely, slightly…i am in trance devoted to the work of the reading and receiving the psychic information… and in fact while doing a reading recently, the Indian couple came home below me there…. and as usual they seem to argue and vent … perhaps things they hold in all day around others… other Indians come to drive them to work i think…but then they are very, loud and at each other in a way that sounds like venting…. and several times I am in the middle of a reading and i realize they are there in the background with their ruckus but it is like I’m not here to fully hear it because i am working and when I work I’m not here. Does this makes some sense? so I wish i could do that now… achieve that high state of concentration and focus…. this i must do… and I will try. I’ve worked around with and within so many distractions when doing readings; it’s really pretty amazing now that I think of it and i remember doing readings at parties where there was a great amount of voices and noise and sounds.
The voices are quiet now…again. I am going to end this and open back up the word document containing the astrology course that I’m vowing to get done, by hook/by crook. The voices below motivate this in a way. I hope that if i have enough students that I can set aside some dollars… i am very motivated to save money for the purpose of moving back to the mountains!
Oh, the poor Indian couple and poor me! Let me have great compassion for us all and feel more love and peace because of us! Om mani padme hum!
And “…for as long as space remains, For as long as sentient beings remain, Until then may I too remain, To dispel the miseries of the world.”
May all beings everywhere
Plagued by sufferings of body and mind
Obtain an ocean of happiness and joy
By virtue of my merits.
May no living creature suffer,
Commit evil, or ever fall ill.
May no one be afraid or belittled,
With a mind weighed down by depression.
May the blind see forms
And the deaf hear sounds,
May those whose bodies are worn with toil
Be restored on finding repose.
May the naked find clothing,
The hungry find food;
May the thirsty find water
And delicious drinks.
May the poor find wealth,
Those weak with sorrow find joy;
May the forlorn find hope,
Constant happiness, and prosperity.
May there be timely rains
And bountiful harvests;
May all medicines be effective
And wholesome prayers bear fruit.
May all who are sick and ill
Quickly be freed from their ailments.
Whatever diseases there are in the world,
May they never occur again.
May the frightened cease to be afraid
And those bound be freed;
May the powerless find power,
And may people think of benefiting each other.
For as long as space remains,
For as long as sentient beings remain,
Until then may I too remain
To dispel the miseries of the world.
“Today i will notice the good things in people and today i will let go of my body mind and today i will see beauty as tenderness. Today i will nurture the world in all my relationships…..” –-The voice of Deepak Chopra again over Pandora from his “healing meditations”.
Happy Full Moon New Year!