Hello beautiful people! O, take it first hand from me (as if you didn’t know from your OWN experiences anyway) but fear wreaks havoc (potentially) if we don’t nip it in the bud. I’ve just made a commitment that has taken courage—and because of this, I may not be blogging… wait. How about this? I could bring you along with me on this adventure via this blog (time permitting).
On this journey I am going to ‘test my mettle’, as well as my determination, courage and tenacity! What do you say? If I had the time I’d create a separate blog for that but this one will have to do.
This is just the beginning of what is going to be a very interesting journey over the next 60 days. Hang on to your hat—that’s what I’m telling myself. I’m about to head into territory. From the Higher Self: This experience is likely to hit or trigger this soul’s past issues/wounds–yet also provides the opportunity to heal those! This should get interesting and we will have to help this soul and this personality remain awake and fully conscious through this process!
This is Day #1 more-or-less officially (but there’s no signing on the dotted line yet exactly) but, like I said more-or-less since I just got the green flag to go ahead with my commitment for change and to experience a new life in 60 days.
There is a particular area of my life that must remain strong if I am to succeed. Yet I just had a moment of paranoia when I thought that area has become weak. It involved looking at something and thinking, “How in the world could this be?” and then the mind started envisioning everything in my life going south. Well, you know what I mean–the old fear monster reared its head and said, “See this weakened area and how it shows that you are going to fail? Just look at how vulnerable you are; you’ll never pull this off.”
Ha! Wrong; it was a mistake, a simple error and did not indicate any vulnerability or weakness in any area whatsoever. Mind you, this was just a half-hour in the making today, on day one of this venture, this commitment, this change in my life. And during that half hour (after the initial shock hit like a strong wave and dissipated as quickly as it hit), what I did was consciously let go; I surrendered.
Yeah, it was still hanging out in the back of my mind but I shrunk that fear monster down to 5% of its original huge size by not giving it my energy or any credibility.
Me of all people knows how this kind of thing can snowball—first one fear and if it doesn’t get nipped in the bud right then, it starts calling in it’s family members and friends, doubt, uncertainly, anxiety and all of the others from on Main Street in Stress-ville and before you know it, we’re all sunk.
I just received information that my fear was actually erroneous – ahhh, like almost all fear is. I thought so but got a validating email to that effect and so now we’re back on track again. F.alse E.vidence A.ppearing R.eal — yeah, I know; you’ve heard that a thousand times if you’ve heard it once (but not everybody has).
I look forward to this challenge and to being very busy with clients, students and also in this area of commitment in my life which is only temporary but which in the end will bring positive change. I’ll blog post again as we go along on this journey sharing my challenges and successes, planning to have more success than the other.
This has to potential to be emotional as change can be, but I am ready. As I heard it said while watching a re-run episode of Grey’s Anatomy, and I paraphrase, “When what needs to be changed becomes more difficult to deal with than the fear of the change—it happens.” And it’s about to. So much for Day 1. We’ve only 59 more days to go and lots to do! My tarot card have been right so far on this–and my higher self has guided me right here at the brink of this change. It seems so sudden but then change always does, doesn’ t it?
Oh, and I am pretty sure we have the green light go ahead… it should be official by tomorrow, more or less. I’ll post again when that last small stop is pulled out; but it’s looking like a done deal. I just have to take my own courageous steps and make my determined efforts now. (It was that darned May Super Full Moon in Scorpio that started this off! I’ll be grateful at the END of the 60-Days, but one step, one day at a time. LOL)
PS — Terence (the toad) and Sam (the salamander) didn’t make it. ( See last post. )
By the way, this week’s newsletter relates to this unfolding 60-Day thing in many ways–the part about watching myself do things.
I’m going to make this a fun adventure (to the best of my ability) and laugh my way through it — as much as possible. That’s my intent — we’ll see how I do.