Getting REAL about Valentine’s Day

Always and in all ways we give when it is not Christmas and love when it is not a valentine day, feel reborn when it is not Easter or spring … every day is a good day to give gifts, to express love, to celebrate spring and new beginnings!

Why does society have to designate a particular day for it?

Bottom Line: “The I AM” in us is Giving and Expressing Love and Celebrating Hope Always in all ways! That’s 365, 24-7.

I have one daughter who says she wears black on Valentine ’s Day and a sister who said she heard dialogue on the radio on the way to work about valentine’s day that brought a tear to her eye because what she heard made her feel alone and sad. I heard someone talk about how in some recent church service some members of the congregation were renewing their wedding vows for the Valentine Day and some members cried because they lost their husbands in the war.

And then I reviewed some generalized astrological teachings recently which emphasized that we all carry within us somewhere the wound or trauma that has to do with being alone and not having our needs met, not receiving comfort. Supposedly, according to that particular teacher’s theory, this wound of separation from “god” (or from the heavens if you prefer that terminology or separation from wholeness if that’s better for your eyes and ears) is carried within us all and becomes re-triggered again sometime in our early years. I’m not certain about all that but if there is an unresolved wound of separation that exists within us, it would make sense that Valentine’s Day would cause us to feel the pain of the wound which still needs healing.

I love what Byron Katie posted on Facebook recently. She wrote, “No two people have ever loved each other.” You know, if you think about it, it’s true. Love is within us and we send it out but it comes back to us—actually, where else would anything go that we send out but back to us?

I see people searching for the mythological twin soul or soul mate without realizing that it is they themselves that they are seeking. Or we could say it this way—they are looking outside of their selves to find the love that is within. We are born alone, we will die alone too—that’s what some would say. Only we can make our own passage to and from one destination to the next, why do we spend so much time confused seeking outside what has always been within—LOVE.

May you find IT this Valentine’s Day or any day—we don’t need society to tell us when to realize Love. Or do we? I’ve got to add what comes to my mind next and that is:

You are never alone if you love the person you are alone with.

PS – Valentine’s Day is the day for people who are trying to fix what they think is broken. And it’s for the bank accounts and balance sheets of greeting card companies, florists, boxed candy makers and anybody else that makes and sells Valentine paraphernalia which will all be reduced for sale tomorrow.  If you don’t get a valentine and box of candy today maybe its life’s way of helping you to remember the Source of Love; but if you aren’t counting calories, love chocolate and you simply must, then I suggest that you pick your self up valentine candy tomorrow–that and everything else valentine-ish will be 50% off then.

I thought twice before I hit the publish this post’ button.  Will readers think I’m sour grapes on love relationships?  I thought about it a second and then turned to the I-CHING for guidance.  Just for the record, I’ve experienced two long-lasting relationships in my life.  In one there were a lot of cards, candy and valentines and in the other, nothing of the sort.  So, I’ve had it both ways you could say.

But let’s see what the I-CHING gives us as wisdom for today and regarding my concern about hitting the publish button on my anti-valentine message.  Its Kua 49 called “REVOLUTION”… well, that’s no surprise– and the first thought I had is that the universe has a sense of humor!  Haven’t I just been writing here about revolting against valentine’s day?

The oracle’s wisdom is about being flexible and having non-attachment.  We could also say, releasing expectations for having those can lead to the suffering of disappointment.

I think that the oracle is telling me not to be attached to whether I should publish this or not — and also to be non-attached to what people may or may not think of me personally.  And looking deeper for valentine’s day guidance, I am recalling my relationships of the past as they correlate with valentine days of the past.

One relationship partner was alway bringing the flowers and cards and candy and the other one not but I did not have much of a care either way, no expectations.  Neither gifts or non-gifts  defined the relationships for me.  Was that because I was carrying the confidence of love within myself?  I don’t know that I’d go as far as to say that, but it sounds good, doesn’t it?   Maybe it was just that we had ‘bigger fish to fry’ in those days if you know what I mean–that’s probably more the truth of it.

Should the goal of a relationship be to carry the confidence of love which comes from within one’s own self?

If we’re looking for something good about valentine’s day, maybe we could see it as an okay day to pause, take inventory of our beliefs about relationships and use the insights gained as an opportunity to grow and evolve.

It may help to recall that we live life without any guarantees.  And since life itself doesn’t offer any guarantee’s anyway, why should we expect those from relationship partners?   Those expectations lead to suffering.

Times change, seasons change and our demands change too.  We are with others but always ultimately alone; and everything we seek exists within us.

That is the revolution and the transformation that a consideration of valentine’s day can offer us–if we’re willing to look.

 By the way… the GET REAL planet, SATURN, is currently RETROGRADE (narrowly focused inward and looking back as well) in the sign of LIBRA which is the relationship sign itself, plus it is at the 29th degree of culminating energy.  No wonder there’s all this get real talk about valentine’s day–look at Saturn@!  I rest my case.

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