This is about surrender and release and it’s personal, very personal. In some areas, my life is very private; yet sometimes I blog about certain things and try to make show the silver lining.
Sometimes it isn’t easy to find it, but in the process of sharing… well, maybe it will be helpful to someone. Maybe something you can relate to in your own life and if nothing else–even if you find no wisdom here–perhaps you will find some things you can relate to which help you feel less alone.
Maybe you can make a connection here for a purpose that is useful for you… this is my wish and intention. Please read on and see what you make of this as it applies or can relate in some way to your own life. These are thoughts for consideration, offered with L.O.V.E as MJ would say to make the world a better place, as he says.
It’s been like a war zone around here since transiting Mars has been approaching it’s return to my birth Mars—talk about shock and awe! Like Bush bombing Baghdad and shake, rattle and roll, the bulldozers and earth moving equipment sounds and wounds to Mother Earth have rocked my inner world! I admit to being rocked back on my heels with this bulldozing, tree murdering, earth ripping event.
My ego has been having a bit of a field day with it and then this morning I woke up knowing that it was time to surrender, to let go, to accept ‘what is’.
After all, it is. My Mars is pretty passive by nature in the 12th house with Cancer on the Cusp and blended into natal Pluto and Saturn, it’s pretty intense on all those inner 12th house levels. My Mars can get riled up but when it does, that 12th house Pisces energy takes over and helps me to surrender. Call it letting go and letting god if you’d like; yet, I’ll have to call upon that surrendering process even more so as Mars will soon be squaring my natal nodes (yikes! – real karma producing stuff if I’m not careful) and then over my Ascendant! The last time Mars crossed over my Ascendant, I got myself in some trouble. My impulsive Mars signed up for Match.com and after realizing it was a big mistake (that took no time at all), I realize further that I’d wasted not only time, money and energy, but put myself through some hoops that I didn’t need to jump through. Yes, there was a lesson in all that and some inner realizations but this time as Mars crosses my ascendant I’m going to watch those impulses. Mars jumps before it thinks sometimes. True, sometimes in life we have to do that but let’s move on for now. We’re talking early November before all that happens anyway; but it’s a good example of how astrology can help one prepare.
Since I’ve stepped through the most recent time (the “revolting development”, as my mother used to say) rather publicly, I’m hoping maybe it will be some type of service to someone. What I mean is that things happen that frustrate the be’jezus out of us (as the saying goes) or trigger us, just as the neighbor who I call the muggle has done for me. That total disregard and disrespect for nature has been quite disturbing; yet what causes that? Now we get into the good stuff.
My attachment or my position to the idea that nature should be respected and my attachment to that delicate balance not being disturbed as it has been around here this past week—that’s what causes my suffering. And frankly my attachment to those trees just across the road, it was something like a privacy wall for me in a way and I loved watching the birds fly back and forth from the maples in the front yard to the maples across the street. So yeah, I cried like I did on the day they bombed Baghdad feeling helplessly frustrated and highly attached to my idea that what was happening should not be! There it is again, you see? The need to surrender to what is and then of course doing something about it if it’s possible and then taking some of that serenity prayer wisdom, “… the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Yeah, so there it is then and of course I’ve been resisting that process of surrender a bit and realizing it is only causing me pain to remain attached to my indignation and resistance to change. Now I have a cruddy empty football field /slash/ air strip of dead trees and destruction across from me with bulldozer machines and other earth rupturing equipment parked here and there in the chaos (they may as well be military tanks and dead bodies) instead of the beautiful forest that was there. What can I do about it? It happened before I realized what was going on—besides, I was frozen in “shock and awe”. So yeah, I’ve been resisting my new view and the sounds of the heavy equipment. Lovely that the landowner across the street, who I call the muggle actually owns the heavy equipment company – set this guy loose with the entire Appalachians at his disposal and… no, let’s not go there. Anyway, I sat on my front porch the other day, when he was destroying the land on the other side of his house and out of my direct view. And while sipping my cup of Chi tea, I forced myself look at the view and find something positive about it. I could not! (Or maybe would not because I was still resisting the whole ‘what is’ thing.) I told myself you are going to sit here a minute and get used to it and find something to like about it! Nope, it wasn’t going to happen that day! Okay, I said to myself, then get in the car and go somewhere and we will try again tomorrow!
Each time I hear the earth mover out there as I’m typing this, I take a deep breath and surrender and I’ve had to do that a number of times already this morning and its only a bit past 10 AM as I write this. It will happen; I’m getting better and better at surrender. A person just has to get over the shock first, then the anger, then denial and then comes acceptance—I’m beginning that last stage of the grieving process. This time it has been slower, maybe because is happened more suddenly and I wasn’t prepared. Usually I surrender much quicker than this; I hope I can surrender much quicker at the time of my own death. I’d like to think so because I’m already preparing! Anyway…
Nobody likes sudden, dramatic loss or change of any kind, but that’s life. Life is always changing and it is the one thing we can count on and be sure of. And yes, of course, in the grand scheme of things I realize that one football field sized loss of forest isn’t a big deal compared to things like human death/suffering. I suppose most people would say the death of a human or loss of a home is much more of a loss then a bunch of trees, right? It’s all relative; besides, I am using my own little drama here as a teaching example to use for any scale; or at least this is how its turning out. And could I think of worse loss? Totally, of course! With Uranus transiting my 8th house, anything can happen and if there is an 8th house (death) mortality… let’s just say that I’m happy that my family is in tact. (My mother crossed just before last christmas when Uranus first entered my 8th house.) But IF I had to suffer a sudden loss, best it be the trees that I’m attached to rather than a family member. So the universe is taking it really easy on me in comparison, right? So now the loss of trees (as compared to the loss of a family member) doesn’t seem so bad and that is the technique that the Dalai Lama uses–to think of how it could be worse and then to look at what is and it does not seem so bad. 🙂 You’ve got to love those Buddhists don’t ya’?! It’s all relative is what they say.
I saw an image of the Dalai Lama this morning on my Facebook timeline. He’s my hero; look at how he has surrendered his anger to what the Chinese have done to Tibet. He is always teaching the Tibetan people about the poison of anger and has loving compassion for the China. And I’m sure he’s had to forgive the rest of the world too when he asked for help and none (or very little support) came.
So whatever loss you may have currently or disappointment or fear or anger—let go. We humans seem to have the need to grieve the loss and then accept and reach for the Sun–for the enlightenment that experience provides for us and for others.
I mentioned this to a Facebook friend yesterday–it’s something else that helps. There is a possibility–and I’m sure I suppressed this deeply if it happened–that maybe I was responsible for destroying a segment of Mother Earth or deforestation from a previous life or another time, who knows? We will, as humans, often project onto others things that we ourselves are guilty for but cannot admit to ourselves. And we project onto others our own guilt or self-anger. Either way the pain comes up and we either release it or create further karma.
So, all I’m saying is that if I can imagine how I might (just might) be guilty of what I dislike the muggle for (in this case, the current destruction of trees and tearing into Mother Earth, destroying animal’s homes)… if I can just imagine how I maybe could have at some time been so thoughtless and egocentric myself, then it makes it easier for me to release my attachments and anger. It’s a method that helps one let go of judgment, thus releasing attachment, thus ending suffering.
Last night I remembered about this and thought maybe I have tree karma since this seems to happen to me time and again–where I go, trees seem to be massacred.
Honestly, I am still sorrowful over the evergreen outside my bedroom window that was murdered by the landlord–a beautiful hemlock pine. Okay, okay–shouldn’t have mentioned that… starting to get emotional again. And as if to punctuate the end of that sentence, I hear the slamming down of the dump truck which sounds like it’s in my living room! With the trees being gone now, there is nothing to buffer the noise. Geeze! Deep breath, letting go… I surrender while trying to bless the muggle for giving me such excellent opportunities to practice letting go.
You know the kind of tree you sometimes see on christmas cards with snow-covered branches? The image to the right isn’t her (my old hemlock friend); she was actually bigger and more beautiful.
Anyway, when something happens, maybe it is karma? We don’t always know for sure, but if we accept it and don’t become angry or blame and all those things, then we don’t create additional karma or future further karma–see what I mean? So letting go is for our great benefit.
If we say something like, ” Alright I accept this as it is without anger or frustration or disappointment, this releases me from the need to call in or create further future experiences of this nature”, it is another way of letting go and surrendering. And as sure as life, we call things back again and again until we’re sure we’ve got it right–and then we recognize it and say, Okay I now know how to handle this.
I let go, I surrender, with ♥ L.O.V.E. ♥, with ♥ L.O.V.E.♥, with ♥ L.O.V.E.♥
and with Courage moment-by-moment as long as it takes for myself and for all sentient beings to be free from all suffering. Soha.